Chapter Eleven
Tonight is our first football game, and already I’m losing it. Or, more specifically, losing my keys.
“Sire?”
Mr. Hicks swirls around, looking harried. The band room is a loud, chaotic mess with everyone getting on their uniforms and yelling about ill-fitting gloves and misplaced Dinkles shoes.
“Yes? Is everything okay with the guard?”
“Um, with the guard, yes. Everything’s good. It’s just that…” I swallow. I can’t believe I have to admit this. “I’ve lost the key to our equipment shed.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I can’t believe I did this when I know how important that key is.
Our shed holds everything we need for our competition shows, plus flags from past competitions, parades, and various props.
It’s even possible that Sire broke the rules by giving me access to school property like this, but he did it because he trusted me and knew Faith wouldn’t be around all the time.
And now I have to stand here and watch his expression slacken when he hears that I let him down.
“You lost the key? And you’re just now telling me? Hazel, we need to be on the field in thirty minutes.”
I drop my eyes to the ground. “I know, I’m so sorry. I could have sworn I had it—I even saw it with my things when I put them down this afternoon—but I can’t find it anywhere. I don’t know what happened.”
“I should have the master key somewhere…” He glances around distractedly, and at least three other people call out to him in distress.
“There’s other things I need to take care of first, but Faith should be here soon and she’ll have her copy.
” He frowns. “But I have to say, I’m really disappointed in you.
I thought I could trust you to be responsible, and now this happens for our very first show?
” He shakes his head. “This better be the last time, okay?”
I nod decidedly. The threat of tears burns my eyes, but as soon as he turns away, I scrub at my face until the feeling is gone. It’s bad enough that I can’t keep hold of a simple key. I don’t need to look like a crybaby when I’m supposed to be helping the rest of my guard.
For once, I’m ecstatic to see Faith arrive. She’s more surprised than upset with me about the lost key, and luckily she has her copy so we get our flags just before we’re supposed to march onto the field for the national anthem and fight song.
She squeezes my shoulder and whispers, “Everything’s just fine. Now, be strong for your group.” Then she gathers us all together and exclaims, “You look spectacular!”
“Everyone’s here tonight,” Callie whispers. “They’re all going to be watching us.”
Deja and Keira glance over at the stadium, which is quickly filling with people. Attendance depends on the weather and how well the football team is playing in a given year, but I’m always surprised by the number of people willing to spend their Friday evenings sitting on cold metal bleachers.
“I think I saw Henry and Sam walking in,” Rosa whispers.
“Don’t worry about it,” Devin says. “No one cares about us. Everyone leaves to get concessions when we’re playing.”
“My mom won’t,” Li whispers.
“Don’t overthink it,” Faith says. “This is what you’ve been preparing for.”
Luckily we’re stopped from more pep talks because Sire calls us to attention, and we head into the stadium for the start of the game.
The sun is low in the sky and the bright stadium lights are on.
Cheerleaders line up in front of the bleachers, and the stands are filled with a mix of students and families.
Many of the adults are bundled in green-and-white sweatshirts, while the teenagers are happy in their T-shirts.
And, of course, there’s the group of guys sporting only body paint on their upper halves.
Football is definitely popular in Ohio, but our school doesn’t have the money or enrollment to build a really good team.
The end zones aren’t painted with fancy designs, and there are no balloon arches for the players to run through as they enter the field.
But we have a good cheerleading squad, and a very big band, and we manage to get the crowd fired up nonetheless.
Of course, it helps that band parents make up a strong contingent of the attendance.
As soon as our shoes hit the turf, screams and cheers fill the air.
I scan the crowd and easily find my parents and Kelsey.
It’s impossible not to see them when they’re holding enormous GO HAZEL!
signs over their heads. I swallow down my nerves.
Hopefully Sire and Faith keep the key mishap to themselves.
For three years, my parents have watched the color guard struggle. For once, I want to impress them.
The beginning of the game isn’t too scary because all the guard needs to do is stand at attention while the band plays the national anthem, then do our simple combos of windmills, figure eights, and carves for the fight song.
Then we head to the end zone, where special bleachers have been set up for only the band.
Percussion sits near the bottom because many of their instruments are too large to haul up into the stands.
And the color guard is expected to sit along the bleacher edges to frame the band.
Luckily, Nova and I are well versed in this, so she makes sure to sit at the end of a row so I can sit next to her.
The first half of the game goes fast. I’m used to the usual schedule: cheer and play from the stands during the first half, then a short halftime show, followed by free time during third quarter.
We only perform our first competition song, so there’s not a lot to mess up, but even those few minutes aren’t clean.
I see several guard members dropping catches or being out of place and I have to fight to keep a smile on my face.
I pray Brody and Max are too busy marching to notice.
I walk with Li over to the concessions when we’re released during the third quarter. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Is it about that last catch? I know it wasn’t as smooth as it could have been, but I promise I’ll get better before our competition,” Li says, a worried expression on her face. “I’m going to keep practicing every day.”
“Oh no, that’s not it at all,” I reassure her. “I didn’t even notice the catch. You’re doing awesome.”
Li’s quickly becoming one of our best members.
I can tell how much she’s been practicing away from school because every time she comes to rehearsal, things are cleaner than they were the day before.
I’ve even had her help some of the other members, although I don’t know how much they appreciated that since she’s the only freshman.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something else entirely,” I continue.
“Nothing is certain yet, but I’ve been debating about starting a D&D group, and I wanted to see if you’d be interested in that?
Just hypothetically. And, fair warning, I’ve never run a game before, so I don’t want to promise anything. ”
Since Mom and I talked on Monday, I’ve kept returning to the idea of running a game.
There are a ton of reasons not to do it.
The time commitment alone is scary once I factor in the actual game time plus the additional time I’ll need to plan out our campaign details.
And then there’s Max. I’d be a lot more excited about this if he wasn’t involved.
But I know how much it would mean to Nova for her to finally get to play her ranger after thinking about it for so long.
Plus, as the Dungeon Master, I’ll be the one in power and I can shut Max down whenever I need to.
I figured it was a good idea to put out some feelers before investing any more thought into the idea. One look at Li tells me that she didn’t pay attention to my warning or the idea that this is hypothetical. Her whole face transforms with joy and she starts jumping up and down.
“Are you serious? Like seriously serious? You want me to join your group?” She jumps even higher.
I laugh, feeling a bit jumpy myself. “If it actually happens, then absolutely! I’ve never done this before, but having someone so excited feels like a good start. But again, it’s not set in stone yet.”
She gives a little shriek, and her glasses almost fly off in her excitement. A few other band members watch us, probably wondering what in the world could be making her this happy. “Omigod, I’d love to! Ooh, can I use the character I made at your house?”
“I don’t see why not.”
Her excitement is so infectious that I can’t help grinning myself. Even my guilt about the lost key and worries about Max feel lighter right now.
“Thank you so much! This is like the coolest thing ever. I promise I’ll be a good player!” She claps her hands together. “Who else is playing with us?”
“I’m still working on that, but Nova for sure. She’s been bugging me for years about this, so she’s all in.” I rock back on my heels. “And…well, possibly Max.”
That stops her short. She freezes mid-jump and her expression falls. “Percussion Max?!”
Her voice is loud, much louder than I’ve ever heard her before. I glance around. There’s enough commotion happening around us that most people aren’t paying attention, but Max is close by. He’s laughing with a few percussion kids, though thankfully not Brody. He narrows his eyes suspiciously at us.
I take her elbow and pull her away a few steps. “I’m not sure about it either,” I say in a quieter voice. “That’s why I said I didn’t want to make any promises. We might only make it one game before we have to kick him out. But our parents are old friends, and they want me to include him.”
She glances over my shoulder—where I’m sure Max is glowering at me—and slowly nods. “Okay. I can’t imagine it going well, but I don’t want to be left out either. Unless he starts being a jerk to me, and then I’m out.”
“If he says anything to you—to any of us—I’m kicking him out. It’s my campaign and my house, so he has to do what I say.”
She giggles. “I like the sound of that. Now I kind of hope he does say something just so I can watch that.”
“Let’s not hope too much for that. But you’re in?”
“Totally.” She pulls me into a quick hug. “I’m going to grab a slice of pizza, do you want to come?”
“You go ahead, I need to find Nova first.”
She practically skips away and my heart wobbles. She’s so sweet. I hope I haven’t just signed her up for a nightmare D&D experience.
I glance around for Nova, eager to tell her the news, but instead Max stalks up to me.
“Were you two just excitedly planning my murder?”
The question is so unexpected that I laugh before I can think better of it. “Yep. I needed an accomplice and Li is very excited to lend a hand. You should expect us in three to four business days.”
His mouth quirks up into the tiniest of smiles and I feel weirdly triumphant that I can still get that reaction out of him.
“Seriously,” he continues, “why was one of your color guard members screaming my name like that? It was disturbing.”
I hesitate. I’m still not sure, but I guess I’m going to have to talk to him about it at some point.
“Do you know if your mom is planning to have you come to my house every Sunday from now on?”
Any hint of laughter drops from his expression, and his mouth presses into a straight line. “We’re still discussing it.”
“So, that’s a yes. My mom already said as much.”
“I’m sure she did.”
I shake my head in annoyance. “What’s with you and your vendetta against me and my mom?”
“What’s with you and your mom talking about me all the time?”
We both glare at each other for a moment and then I sigh. “You know what, never mind. This was never going to work.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’d been debating starting a D&D game on Sunday nights.
Nova’s been asking me to do it, and I thought it might be something you could do with us on Sundays if your mom is forcing you to come.
Li was freaking out because I’d just asked her to join as well.
” I put my hands on my hips. “But it’s obviously a horrible idea.
I don’t want to run a game where one of my players is going to question everything I say, or have constant snide comments, or just be insulting.
It’s not worth it. You can watch TV downstairs, I’ll stay in my room, and our parents will have to deal. ”
I walk away, shocked by the disappointment welling up inside me.
Not because of Max, but because I won’t be able to spend this time with Nova and Li.
Maybe I can still hold the game some other time when Max isn’t around.
Fridays and Saturdays are hard right now because of football games and competitions, but once marching band season is over it’ll be different.
Nova and Li will be sad, but they’ll understand that we need to wait.
Max jogs up so that he’s standing in front of me, and I’m forced to stop.
“You wanted me to join your D&D game?”
“Wanted is the wrong way to phrase that.”
“Okay, but you were willing?”
“I was.”
His jaw works back and forth, and his eyes study my face. “We always talked about starting a game together.”
His words fill me with unexpected emotion.
We had always talked about it. We spent hours and hours reading the D&D manuals and brainstorming stupid characters and thinking about campaign ideas.
I had loved that time together—honestly, I’d loved all our evenings—but the way Max acts now makes it seem like none of that ever happened.
It’s as if he doesn’t even remember it. To hear him acknowledge it now is a gut punch.
“It won’t work, Max. We can’t get along for more than two seconds.”
He looks back at his percussion group as if he’s debating something and opens his mouth. Then he closes it and takes a breath instead. “One.” Another breath. “Two. There, that was two seconds. Probably even three.”
“I…” I blink in surprise. “Are you saying you want to be part of the group?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve never played a tabletop role-playing game before. Although, what are the chances I could get you to run The One Ring instead?”
I throw my hands in the air. Three seconds into this conversation and he’s already trying to convince me to change the game I’m running. “No, we’re not switching to a Lord of the Rings–themed game just because you might be joining.”
“Fine, fine. I like the sound of your game too.”
“Good…well…” Honestly, I don’t know what else to say.
Someone calls Max’s name, and he looks back over his shoulder.
“I’ll give you an answer on Sunday, okay?” he says.
I guess that means he’s coming over again.
“Yeah. Okay.”
He heads back to his friends, but I stay there, still trying to wrap my head around what just happened.