Chapter Thirty-One
We’ve got this. We can do it.
My stomach wobbles as we all head to our starting positions. I look from side to side as I go through the motions of stretching and placing my flags, catching the eye of whichever guard members are close enough so I can give them a nod of reassurance.
We march off the field, my heart still on fast-forwarding speed.
“Did we kill it?” I ask Faith as soon as I find her waiting on the sidelines.
“Yes! Absolutely phenomenal!” She claps and waves over the rest of the guard. “You all gave me goose bumps. It’s the best I’ve ever seen you!”
“Eeeeee!” Li squeals and throws her arms around me. Madisyn and Addison pile onto our hug, and soon the entire guard is one massive squealing huddle.
“This is what hard work can bring you!” Faith exclaims. “Now go relax in the stands and enjoy the other band performances. And hey”—her voice gets more serious—“no matter what happens, you all should be very proud of yourselves. You represented Glen Vale color guard very well.”
We make our way to the bleachers to await the awards ceremony at the end of the competition.
Max is already there, surrounded by friends.
He catches my eye and mouths nice job. My heart aches to sit down next to him, give him a huge hug, and analyze every minute of the performance.
I want to eat crappy nachos by his side, and talk about our chances as we watch the other bands perform, and kiss him whenever I feel like it.
Instead, I walk right past him and remind myself that soon we’ll be able to do all those things.
Nova climbs up a few bleachers from her clarinet friends and sits next to me. “How do you feel?”
“Like my heart is about to beat out of my chest. But Faith said it’s the best we’ve ever performed, so I’ll take it. Your solo sounded as amazing as always.”
“Thanks.” She shrugs. “It’s not a hard piece of music.”
She’s definitely deflecting. I know the solo is hard, especially when all eyes are on you, but Nova is self-effacing to a fault, so I let her have that.
“And, even better,” I say, “Brody was noticeably silent when the guard passed him on the bleachers, so it feels like we already won.”
Nova applauds me. “If you can shut him up, then you deserve every trophy they have. You’re definitely my hero.”
A roar of laughter comes from the percussion and Nova slips her arm through mine and squeezes. “I have a good feeling about this awards ceremony.”
“I’m going to puke from waiting, so don’t sit close to me.”
Four other bands perform, then there’s a break so the judges can calculate their scores, and finally the disembodied voice of the announcer returns to say that the award ceremony is about to begin. Li sits down at my other side, looking almost as nervous as I feel.
“And now what you’ve all been waiting so patiently for: our award winners.”
I immediately tense and Li grabs my left hand while Nova leans into my side on my right. The announcers go through several other categories before getting to ours.
“The award for Best Overall Percussion goes to…Oak Grove High School!”
For a moment, I’m elated. Percussion officially lost our bet.
Still, it’s hard to feel pure joy when the entire percussion section deflates a few rows in front of me.
Brody might be sitting there, but Max and Felix are there as well.
I know how much Max wanted it and how hard he worked.
I can’t find it in myself to celebrate his loss.
“Next up is the award for Best Overall Auxiliary.” I curl over in a ball and hold my breath. Nova and Li both lean closer against me. “And the award goes to…Glen Vale High School!”
Screams erupt all around me. Hands grab my arms and shoulders, shaking me so hard I might fall off the bleachers.
“We did it!” Li screams. “We did it! Best in show!”
Nova throws her arms around me and squeezes tightly. “Ahh, congratulations! I’m so proud of you!”
It takes me another second to fully comprehend before I can jump up and scream with them. The announcer keeps talking, but I can’t hear a thing except screaming. All of a sudden, the rest of Glen Vale jumps out of their seats and our section of the stadium fills with more cheering.
I turn to Yori, who is now the closest to me. “What’s going on?” I call.
“The band got a Superior rating—we’re going to state!”
My screams raise another octave. I grab on to any band member I can see, shaking them and giving them hugs as my eyes fill with tears.
It doesn’t feel possible. Of course I wanted this to happen, and I’m so incredibly relieved that we’re going to state, but the best in show award?
We actually did it? We won the bet? I can’t believe it.
When the awards ceremony is done, the guard half jumps, half runs down the bleachers.
People yell out congratulations as we pass, and Sire stops us at the bottom to tell us how proud he is.
None of us can stop shrieking and laughing as we make our way back to the band buses.
Even Callie, who has always seemed the most apathetic, is beside herself with excitement.
“Hazel!”
I spin to find Mom, Dad, and Kelsey running toward me. “My god, Hazel! You did it!” Mom gushes and pulls me into a hug.
“Thanks, Mom,” I breathe into her neck. “We’re all freaking out, we’re so excited!”
“Of course you are! And you deserve to be! Oak Grove was stellar today. But not as good as you.” She hugs me again before passing me to Dad and Kelsey.
“Great job, honey,” Dad says more quietly. “So proud of you.”
“You guys were way better than last time,” Kelsey tells me.
I laugh. “Thank you, I guess?”
“But it’s the truth!” Mom cries. “And it’s just the beginning for you.
Today is best auxiliary, next is the senior MVM award and Superior ratings at state!
I can already see it!” She’s so excited she’s literally jumping up and down.
Unfortunately, her excitement has the opposite effect on me.
I haven’t even processed our win yet, and Mom is already talking about the next thing?
Dad rubs my back and gives me a small smile. “There’s time to think about all that later. For now, go celebrate with your friends.”
I race off, happy to get some distance from Mom and spend time with Nova.
Although, now that I think of it, an even better idea comes to me.
Max and I should tell our sections right now, before we get back on the buses.
Then he and I can sit together, along with Felix and Li and Nova, and we won’t have to hide anymore.
It’ll be the perfect end to this incredible day.
I wave goodbye to my family and go in search of Max so I can tell him my plan.
But another possibility pops into my mind as I scan the crowds and peek down each row of school buses.
What if he doesn’t want to see me tonight at all?
I’m sure he’s upset, maybe even a little angry, that guard beat out percussion.
I hesitate. Maybe I should give him some space for now.
“Hazel!”
I spin at Max’s voice. We’re both standing between two school buses, shielded from view. For the moment, we’re alone.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” I call and walk in his direction. “I’m sorry about percussion—”
But I don’t finish my sentence because Max sprints headlong toward me. When he reaches me, he wraps his arms around my waist and twirls me in a circle so that my feet fly off the ground.
“Hazel, you did it!” he cries. “You won!”
He puts me back down, and I stumble. My throat tightens with emotion at his reaction, and I struggle to say, “I can’t believe it.”
“I can. I always knew how great you guys could be.”
“And…you’re not mad?”
He grimaces. “It’s not your fault we couldn’t bring home the win. Percussion is feeling defeated right now, but we’ll bounce back. I bet some of us will even have a good time learning your guard choreography.”
Relief floods through me. “Max, listen, I’ve been thinking and…what if we told our sections about us now? Tonight. I don’t want to keep us a secret anymore.”
He leans back. “You want to tell them?”
“Yeah, I do.” I take his hands in mine. “Aren’t you sick of trying to pretend we don’t care about each other? I know the guard will be shocked, but they’ll get over it.”
“Max?” someone asks. “What’s going on?”
Max jerks his hands from mine. We both turn to find a small group of Glen Vale percussion members walking toward us. At the front are Jamila, who plays the snare drum with Felix, and Niko, a cymbal player. Behind them are a few other percussion players. Thankfully, Brody isn’t with them.
Max takes a small step away from me. It’s probably not more than a few inches, but it might as well be a mile. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he asks casually.
“We were coming to look for you,” Niko says slowly. “Jamila’s mom suggested we grab milkshakes to make up for this horrible competition and we wanted you to come.” He frowns and glances between me and Max. “Or are you already busy?”
“Not busy. Just congratulating Hazel on winning our bet.”
The others look less than impressed at that statement. Jamila gives Niko some side-eye and crosses her arms over her chest. “Yeah, we saw. That was quite the congratulations.”
“Don’t be a sore loser,” I snap.
“All right, everyone calm down,” Max says. “Hazel and I go way back. We’re old friends.”
“Huh,” Niko replies. “Because I could have sworn I was picking up on some other vibes.”
More band members join the fray, probably curious about why we’re all standing around. I see Felix and Li, and Nova’s there wearing a stony expression.
“What’s the holdup? Are we going or not?” Brody’s loud, grating voice cuts through the group. He pushes his way to the front and rolls his eyes. “Are you seriously wasting precious time talking to Hazel? Let’s go.”
“Who are the toilet cleaners now, Brody?” I smile maliciously. “I bet it must be so hard knowing you lost. Although, to be fair, you do already have a lot of experience with being a loser.” I know I’m not helping matters, but I can’t resist rubbing it in just a bit.
Brody turns his glare on me, but Niko interrupts. “Actually, I don’t think Max is going to hang out with us tonight after all,” he tells Brody. “He’s already got a date.”
A few people snicker. My heart speeds as I turn to Max. I lift my eyebrows slightly, urging him to rip off the Band-Aid and tell them. It’s his section, so I’m not going to do that for him, but it’s clear that the time for secrets has passed. They’ve already guessed anyway.
But rather than pulling me close and announcing his feelings, he’s quiet. Tense. Tell them, I think desperately. Say the words.
Yes, I’m dating Hazel.
Yes, I care about her.
She’s important to me.
Max clears his throat, his eyes wide and harried. He looks to his section and then back at me. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and then he turns so he’s fully facing them.
He shakes his head derisively. “Are you kidding? Me and Hazel? Of course we don’t have a date. I was just trying to be the bigger person and congratulate her—something the rest of you could stand to do more of.”
I fall back a step.
“The bigger person?” Brody says with a snort. “Please. I know you still have that equipment shed key.”
The shock of the words is so sudden that I really think I might be sick. He has the key that I thought I’d lost? I turn to him. “What the hell? Max?”
He pales and waves his hands in front of his face. “It’s not like that. We were never really going to do anything.”
A few percussion players scoff, as if they beg to differ with his version of events, but he rounds on them. “Not. Now. I’m not getting milkshakes tonight, so you can head out.” He turns to me. “Hazel, don’t freak out, just listen to me.”
The others linger, probably hoping to see us blow up in a huge fight, but my jaw is clenched too tightly to say a word. Felix ushers his section away with a nervous glance back at us. Only when we’re alone again do I have the strength to say something.
“You stole my key?”
Max looks sick. “It was for a stupid bet, back in August, before our first football game. But I never really meant to go through with it.”
“But you thought about it? About…” I can barely get the words out, imagining what they must have had planned. “About vandalizing our equipment? Ruining our flags?”
I know I’m right when he squeezes his eyes shut. “For like a second. I know I can be competitive, but I wanted to win on my own merits, not because I sabotaged my competitor.”
I take a jerky step backward. “I just…I can’t believe you did that. I would never have done something like that to you or anyone in percussion.”
“I know…”
“I was livid with myself for losing it, and Sire was so disappointed in me,” I whisper. “But it turns out it was never my fault to begin with. You stole it from me.” I shake my head in disbelief. “And you never told me, Max. How can I possibly trust you?”
“Because it was almost two months ago,” he pleads. “Things have changed so much—I’ve changed so much. I swear I would never hurt you. That’s why I couldn’t go through with it. I imagined seeing your face when you opened that shed and I knew I could never do anything like that to you.”
I wrap my arms around my stomach and stumble backward a few more steps.
“I should have told you, but I was scared that if I did, then this would happen.” He gestures between the two of us.
“I couldn’t risk losing you. You’re the best thing in my life—you always have been.
Even when we were kids, I loved your giant curly hair, and how your laugh was louder than anyone else’s, and how competitive you were, and the way I could say whatever I wanted and you always understood what I meant.
And now”—he gestures to me again—“you’re so much more than even that. ”
“I’m the ‘best thing in your life,’ but you can’t admit we’re dating? That’s not how this works.”
“That’s not fair,” he says quietly. “They caught me off guard. You caught me off guard. I thought we’d decided we were going to keep things a secret and I wasn’t prepared…”
The same nausea from this morning is back, burning my throat and making my stomach swim.
“You already made it perfectly clear that percussion is the most important thing in your life. Isn’t that what you told me when I came to your apartment?
Well, you’re in luck, they’re going for milkshakes right now.
Why don’t you go spend the rest of the evening with them?
Because you definitely aren’t spending it with me. ”
I turn and walk away.