10. Melissa Domaine #2
“I just don’t wanna lose myself again,” I admitted, my voice low.
“I spent too long tryna make men feel comfortable. Shrinkin’ myself.
Buildin’ them up while they tore me down.
I promised myself I was done with that. Now here come Roman, actin’ like he see straight through me and don’t give a fuck about my walls. ”
“That’s what got you scared,” April said quietly.
“Exactly,” I said. “He don’t back off when I push. He come harder. And I don’t know if that mean he really in this with me or he just like the chase. I can’t afford to get that wrong again.”
Charlee took a sip, lookin’ at me over the rim. “Do you feel like he usin’ you?”
I thought about it.
The way he stayed with me when that shit happened on the island.
The way he sat up in that chair all night instead of leavin’.
The way he ordered food without askin’, the way he listened, the way he watched.
The way he followed my car last night and sat in that truck till I texted I was inside.
“No,” I said finally. “I don’t.”
“Do you feel like he could really hurt you?” April asked. “I’m not talkin’ about annoy you. I mean hurt you on purpose.”
I shook my head before I could stop myself. “Nah. Not like that.”
“Then what you runnin’ from?” Charlee asked. “Somebody finally showin’ up how you been sayin’ you want, or the fact that if this go left, you know it’s gon’ break you in a different way?”
I swallowed hard, eyes burnin’ a little.
“Both,” I said honestly.
Fee reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “We gon’ be here either way. Whether he end up bein’ your forever or your lesson. Just don’t let fear make the decision for you.”
I sniffed, blinkin’ fast so I didn’t fuck my lashes up.
“You really sound like somebody mama already,” I muttered.
“That’s ‘cause I am,” she said, rubbin’ her belly.
April smiled. “And for what it’s worth… Roman love hard. I see how he still move behind Mo name. He not sloppy wit’ feelings. He just intense.”
“I don’t need nobody else intense in my life,” I said. “I already got enough chaos.”
“But he not chaos,” April said. “He bringin’ it to order, even if it feel loud right now.”
I let that sit.
Our food came…chicken and waffles for Charlee, shrimp and grits for me, some big-ass omelet for Fee, and avocado toast and salmon for April ‘cause she swear she need to be smaller for her wedding gown.
The convo shifted for a minute.
We talked baby shower colors, if Fee wanted a theme (she didn’t care as long as it wasn’t corny), how we was gon’ get her a pedicure before she delivered ‘cause her feet “belonged to the streets” right now, according to Charlee.
April pulled out her notebook with bridal shower ideas, and the way her face lit up when she talked about walkin’ down the aisle lowkey made my chest hurt in a good way.
Charlee, halfway through her second mimosa, laid her hand on her stomach.
“I think I might be pregnant,” she blurted.
We all froze.
“Bitch, what?” I asked.
She looked around, eyes wide. “I’m serious. My boobs hurt, I been nauseous in the mornin’, and my period late.”
Fee’s mouth dropped. “By how long?”
“Like… two weeks?” Charlee said.
“Two weeks?” I repeated. “And you just now sayin’ somethin’?”
“‘Cause it might be nothin’!” she rushed out. “I been stressed. Work crazy. My sleep all over the place. It could be that.”
April stared at her. “Have you taken a test?”
“No,” she admitted. “I’m… scared. I talk too much shit about kids to end up pregnant on accident.”
Fee started laughin’. “Oh, this karma.”
“Shut up,” Charlee said, but she was laughin’, too. Then her face got serious again. “If I am… that’s gon’ change everything.”
We all fell quiet, lettin’ her sit in that.
I watched her face.
Loud-mouth, wild, reckless Charlee looked… small for a second.
And in that moment, lookin’ at my friends, one belly big and scared and excited, one glowy and half-stressed about weddin’ vows, one maybe pregnant and shakin’ under all that toughness, I felt somethin’ shift in me.
Life was movin’ us whether we was ready or not.
Fee was about to be somebody mama.
April was about to be somebody wife.
Charlee might be both before the year was out.
And me?
I was still sittin’ here swearin’ up and down that me and Roman was “nothin’,” while he moved like he’d already decided I was everything.
“You quiet,” Fee said finally, lookin’ at me. “What you thinkin’ about?”
I stared at my shrimp and grits for a second, then at them.
“Honestly?” I said. “I’m thinkin’ I might be the last holdout.”
Charlee snorted. “Girl, please. You the first one deep. The rest of us just catchin’ up.”
“I’m not deep,” I argued, but it sounded weak even to me.
They all laughed.
“Okay,” April said, smilin’ soft. “So when you leavin’ here, you goin’ home or to Roman’s?”
I opened my mouth.
Closed it.
“…Home,” I said.
Fee tilted her head. “He got a key?”
I hesitated.
“…He know the gate code,” I whispered.
“Aht,” Charlee said, pointin’ at me with her fork. “Exactly. Y’all not a thing, but he get past security.”
“Shut up,” I said, but a laugh slipped out anyway.
They laughed with me, but underneath that, there was somethin’ else sittin’ in my chest.
Fear, yeah.
But also this little spark of… hope?
I hated that word.
Hope had gotten me hurt more times than I could count.
Still, when my phone buzzed and I looked down, saw his name lightin’ up the screen.
Roman: You good?
I couldn’t pretend my heart didn’t do that stupid little flip.
I typed back before I could overthink it.
Me: Yeah.
Me: Just at brunch with the girls.
Roman: Aight. Enjoy yourself.
Roman: Text me when you on your way back.
Charlee peeked over. “Mhm. ‘We not a thing’ my ass.”
“Mind your business,” I said, but I was smilin’.
‘Cause maybe I wasn’t ready to call it what it was.
Maybe I still needed time to trust that this wasn’t just another crash in slow motion.
But sittin’ at that table, watchin’ my friends step into new versions of they selves, I knew one thing for sure:
Whether I liked it or not, Roman Blake was already tangled up in whatever my next chapter was about to be.
And no matter how loud I tried to swear we weren’t a thing…
Everybody around me… including my own heart, was startin’ to call bullshit.