Romancing on Jeju

SOMETIMES YOUR SIGNALS GET CROSSED

The Searching for Honeyman project was born out of a conversation with Do Romi. It may seem cliché to say now, but no one could have predicted then just how dramatically that conversation would change their lives. That day was a special one for Park Hadam, not only because of what it would ultimately come to mean, but because it also happened to be her thirty-sixth birthday. It was the day she distinctly felt she had crossed over that decade’s halfway mark and into her late thirties. There was another reason that day was so special, too, but Hadam didn’t have time to dwell on it. Right then, she was sitting—alone and anxious—at a table for four in a popular restaurant with a line that went out the door and around the corner.

Hadam’s waiter had already come around to her table three times and filled her glass with water, but if he was judging her for taking up the table, he didn’t show it. For that, Hadam was grateful. Her seat faced the door at such an angle that the people waiting in line could see how long the other chairs at her table remained empty. To avoid their pointed stares, Hadam studied the menu so hard, she practically memorized it. She had just decided on a salad when a familiar face appeared in the doorway.

“Romi, over here!”

Romi made her way to the table, her long, fanned-out skirt fluttering and grazing other customers in the restaurant as she moved around them.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “And on your birthday too. I’m such a mess. Sorry! Really.”

Sure enough, the look of apology on Romi’s face was as pure as 24-karat gold. Hadam knew Romi had a tendency to be late, so she had come to expect as much. But the past half hour had done a number on her nerves—rather than irritation or resentment, Hadam felt more relieved than anything to see Romi come through that door.

“No, no, I’m sorry,” Hadam said. “I picked a spot near my place, not yours. It was hard to find, wasn’t it?”

Romi waved her hand. “Don’t be silly. It’s your birthday. Of course we should meet up closer to where you are. I just ended up on the subway headed for Dunchon somehow.”

“What? But this is East Ichon-dong.”

“I know. When I realized I should be headed toward Ichon Station, I got off and backtracked. Then I got here and realized I had forgotten the name of the restaurant.”

“Huh? But I sent you the directions yesterday.”

“I know, but my battery died. Earlier, when I transferred to Line Four, I texted you that I’d be a little late. My battery conked out right after. I got off at Ichon Station and kept trying to remember the name of the restaurant. I asked some people on the street whether there was an Italian restaurant called C’est Si Bon nearby, but no one had heard of it. So I was wandering around for a while, looking for the right place.”

“This is a French restaurant called Bon Vivant ... How did you end up finding it?”

Romi opened a menu. “I kept asking random people while I was walking around the area. The fifth or so person I asked was walking their dog and told me there was no C’est Si Bon, but there was a Bon Vivant.”

“Right ...” Hadam had figured as much after a half hour had passed from the time they were supposed to meet up. She blamed herself for not having met Romi at the station so they could walk over together.

“Where’s Chakyung, by the way?” Romi asked.

“Ah, she told me beforehand she would be a little late. She has an executive meeting tomorrow. She’ll be here after she finishes up her presentation.”

Just then, Hadam’s phone pinged with a message.

“She says she’s here,” Hadam said, laughing. “Coming up the street now.”

“Oh, that worked out perfectly! Now we can all order together.”

As Yoon Chakyung stepped inside the restaurant, she dodged the harsh looks from all the people waiting in the sweltering heat who must have thought she was trying to cut the line. Don’t be mad at me, she thought. My friends are already waiting inside.

Chakyung spotted a pair of familiar faces in the corner. One of them had chin-length blond hair, which she kept tucking behind her ears as she studied the menu. The other had short hair and was wearing jeans, and she kept tapping away at her phone. As Chakyung approached their table, Hadam—the short-haired one—looked up and waved.

“Chakyung, you’re here already!”

“What do you mean, ‘already’? I’m so late. Sorry about that.”

Romi grinned so brightly, her eyes disappeared. She pointed to the seat next to her. “Hey, I was super late too.”

Chakyung sat down, setting a white shopping bag tied with a black ribbon down on the table. “Happy birthday, Hadam.”

“Oh, are we doing gifts now? I have one too!” Romi rummaged around inside a big bag on the floor and handed Hadam the pink bundle she pulled out.

“Thanks, you two.” Hadam seemed flustered for a moment over what to do with the presents. She set them down on the seat next to her. “I’ll open them after we eat. First things first, let’s order. I’m starving.”

Once they had cleared their plates, their waiter brought out tea and coffee. Hadam opened her presents. Romi’s gift was a pretty pink wool scarf. Hadam was surprised, considering the current season, but she ran a hand over the scarf and did her best to mask her confusion.

“It has ... a nice texture!”

“I thought the color would complement you really well. I know it’s summer, but the material is a cashmere blend, so you can bring it when you go places with air-conditioning.”

The shopping bag held a sample bundle of new cosmetics that Chakyung’s company was promoting. In a yellow box, there was a bottle of grain-scented perfume—a new product from a brand Hadam had seen in upscale stores abroad when she was overseas filming last spring. The prices had been so high that she’d barely looked at the items before returning them to their shelves.

“I thought this fragrance suited you. It’s not too overpowering, so it should be good to wear for work.”

Something flared up in Hadam’s chest, but she tried a spritz of the perfume on her wrist, determined to suppress the feeling. The fragrance reminded her of a field in the English countryside, its faint scent tickling her nose. Hadam told herself she was tearing up simply because of the perfume. She steeled herself in preparation for sharing the news with her friends.

“It smells lovely, Chakyung, but I won’t get to wear it to work right away. As of today, I quit my production job.”

There was a brief silence. It took about twenty seconds for Romi and Chakyung to decide how to react.

Chakyung spoke first. It was in her nature to take the lead on breaking through the awkward tension in such situations. “Good for you,” she said. “That couldn’t have been an easy decision.”

“Yes, good for you!” said Romi. “Now you can take a break and work on something of your own!”

“I’m sorry to come out of nowhere with news like this today. But I realized I’m already in my late thirties—I’m afraid if I don’t do my own thing now, I might never be able to.” Hadam had been working as a documentary producer for seven years. She had directed photo shoots of all sorts of animals, from elephants to praying mantises, and had been everywhere from the Himalayas to Buenos Aires. She had no fears about going to the South Pole to film penguins, but it was being contracted out to work on the films that made her feel like it was time to step down. She wanted more say in the jobs she took on.

“When I quit, though, something else happened that really made me mad.”

“What was it?” Romi asked, already livid on her behalf.

“One of my coworkers, another producer, is getting married this month, and a senior male coworker asked me if that was the reason I was quitting.”

“What kind of crap is that? Did he actually believe that would make you leave?” Chakyung narrowed her eyes.

“Well, he said he always thought the two of us looked good together. We’re around the same age and started at the same time, so we get along better than a lot of other people at work, and last year when we were filming this documentary on South America, I helped him out a few times when he was getting absolutely nowhere on his own, but I wouldn’t say we were close. You know how it is, though—a lot of times when you have a couple of single people around the same age, they tend to get paired up.” Hadam sighed.

“Still, it’s a good thing you didn’t mistakenly think he had feelings for you. I’ve had that happen so many times,” Romi said, grimacing.

“Yeah, but when the coworker who’s getting married approached me, he implied that I had done exactly that—assumed he had feelings for me. He said he was sorry I had to find out through rumors that he was getting married, that he should have come to me directly and told me. But I thought, Why? ” Hadam recalled her coworker’s face as he handed her the wedding invitation. He had seemed sorry at first, then relieved to have the upper hand.

“There are so many people going around without an ounce of common sense in their heads. It’s good you quit working at a company like that.” Chakyung set down her coffee, her voice softening all of a sudden. Deep down, she didn’t think retiring or quitting should be taken lightly, but she felt that now was the time to encourage her friend before anything else.

Hadam seemed lost in thought. “I agree, but I wonder if I gave him mixed signals? If I caused him to misunderstand?”

“You’re not the type. You’re a softy, but you’re always clear about your feelings.”

“You think so? The whole situation upset me so much, but then I started questioning whether it was my fault.”

“It’s not. Lots of people mistake kindness for something more than that.” Chakyung had a tendency to be blunt, but there were times her no-nonsense style could be comforting. This was one of the reasons Hadam had first wanted to be her friend.

“That’s why I almost moved to Jeju Island to become a beekeeper,” said Romi.

One of Romi’s quirks was tossing out comments without any context whatsoever. This was one reason Hadam had wanted to be her friend too. But Hadam had to admit she was thrown by this particular comment, which had seemed to come completely out of left field.

“You said ‘that’s why’ ... but how is that connected to this?” Hadam asked.

Chakyung, on the other hand, seemed totally unfazed. “You’re saying you were one of those people who mistook kindness for something more, and that almost led you to move to Jeju and take up beekeeping?” she asked.

“Exactly,” Romi said gleefully. “It all happened three years ago ...,” she said, launching into her recollection of events. “If I remember correctly, I went to Jeju three years ago sometime in September. I’d been invited to take part in a joint trade fair. I’d worked on this project where independent artists and companies partnered up to make and sell goods. They told me to sit at our booth and explain our goods to people. I worked the booth for two of the three days, but since I didn’t have to stay the whole time, I thought I’d explore Jeju as a tourist. In the end, I barely got to see anything there. But anyway, I had a ton of Instagram followers at the time, and I posted that I was going to Jeju and wanted recommendations on where to eat, where to go.

“But then this one guy came to the fair to see me. He looked nice—he was wearing jeans and a light summer jacket, and he seemed to be in his midthirties, around the same age as me. He told me he was a fan of my illustrations. He’d been following my Instagram for a long time and came all the way to the fair because he wanted to meet me. That made me happy, you know? He didn’t seem dangerous or anything. He bought us donuts and coffee, and we talked for maybe a half hour, forty minutes. He said he was a beekeeper. I’d never met a beekeeper before. Once we made it past the initial awkwardness, we started talking about different ways to revamp the image of the beekeeping industry. I asked him what he thought about using illustrations to create a brand image, things like that.

“Until then, I thought this man was just a fan who came to meet me out of curiosity. You think maybe he just wanted to commission an illustration from me? Sure, that’s possible. But hear me out. He came back the next day too. Wearing this nice clean jacket with cotton slacks. His outfit that day looked more expensive. And his hair? I don’t remember if his hair was different, but when I think back on it now, he had maybe styled it in a slightly neater way. Anyway, this time, he gave me chocolates. Not the ones you’d get from a mini-mart or department store but, like, handmade ones. Later, I posted a photo on Instagram, and someone commented that they were from this famous chocolatier in downtown Jeju that had won all kinds of awards. That day, we went to a café nearby and talked for about an hour. The day before, he’d come to see me in a big—what do you call that?—right, an SUV. But that day, he was driving a sedan. Had he rented a different car? I was wondering that too. Unlike the previous day, we didn’t talk much about beekeeping. We just chatted about life on Jeju—the weather, how he liked the scenery, that sort of thing. The more we talked, the more I felt my heart pounding and my face getting all hot. Was he attractive? I think so—he definitely gave off a much better impression the second day. He was average height and sort of on the tan side, maybe, or maybe not. Either way, he looked good to me! For some reason, I got this feeling. Like what if I married him and moved to Jeju to live as a beekeeper? Why are you two staring at me like that? There are people who know from the moment they see someone that this is the person they’re going to marry. That’s how I felt.

“When we went our separate ways, all I said was goodbye. We didn’t hold hands. We didn’t even exchange numbers.

“Why didn’t I get his number? Well, I thought we’d naturally keep in touch via Instagram. He could send me a DM, you know? I had a strong feeling we would meet again. He said he was my fan. I came back to Seoul and posted something like, ‘Enjoyed Jeju all the more because I met such a sweet person.’ I even added a ton of hashtags, like #FunMemories and #SweetChocolates. There were so many hearts and comments on that post. But he didn’t leave a single one. He didn’t even DM me! I went looking through the #JejuBeekeeping hashtag, too, but I couldn’t find him. I was never able to track him down. He hasn’t reached out to me since.

“Yes, I’ve been waiting for him. Even though I may have been mistaken all along.”

“Hmm. This seems pretty different from Hadam’s situation. Considering everything that happened between you two, I don’t think you were mistaken at all.” Chakyung bit her tongue to keep from adding, Even though you were probably rushing into things .

“I wasn’t, right?” Romi’s eyes gleamed. “I know I’m not that reckless.”

“Yeah. It’s risky to make generalizations here, but isn’t there usually a certain behavior or quirk that comes out when someone’s romantically interested in someone else? Like in a straight relationship when a man is interested in a woman?”

Romi nodded. “That’s right.”

“Wait. One sec.” Chakyung slid her tablet PC and pen out of her bag and opened up a memo app. “Check this out,” she began, writing neatly on the screen as if she were giving a presentation. Romi leaned in close to watch while Hadam looked on, too, tapping away at something on her phone all the while.

SIGNS THAT SAY “I’M INTERESTED IN YOU”

1) Coming to see you not just once but twice

It would have been enough to come say hi to you once, since he knew you from social media, but he came by twice. That’s not just mere curiosity. Meeting once is fate, but meeting twice is intentional. Besides, if he hadn’t been into you the first time you met, he wouldn’t have come to see you again. To add to that ...

2) Dressing up the second time you met

He wore a jacket and jeans that first day and gave off a more casual vibe, but the second day, he dressed up a little. That means he was interested in you. He wanted to look a bit cooler to you—that’s a sign that he was in the early stages of liking you.

3) He bought coffee the first day, but chocolates the second

Coffee seems like something you’d buy an acquaintance, but chocolate feels a bit more like a present. If he gives you chocolates on the second date? The kind you can’t just buy anywhere? He’s giving you a thoughtful gift. This is clearly something you would normally do to show you have an interest in somebody. So you can infer that he liked you on day one and came back to show you that on day two.

4) He switched cars

No one switches cars overnight, right? Doesn’t the fact that he changed cars and came to see you the second time obviously mean he planned to take you somewhere and had asked to borrow someone else’s car? Everyone knows it’s easier to drive someone around in a sedan than in an SUV. And borrowing a car is no easy task—it requires a lot of forethought. Couldn’t you interpret that as a sign that he’s interested in you? I’m positive you were reading all his signals right.

Chakyung paused to catch her breath. Romi clapped, satisfied, as though she were in the audience at a real presentation.

“That’s right—the vibes on the second day were definitely good! We even locked eyes a bunch of times.” Romi was soon swept up in her own thoughts. “But I guess I can’t really know for sure.”

“No way. He was definitely interested in you. He got you chocolates!”

As Chakyung gave a briefing of the points she’d outlined, Hadam studied her phone, muttering to herself. Chakyung and Romi turned to look at her.

“Romi,” Hadam asked, “where was that exhibit?”

“The exhibit? Hmm, I don’t know the name of the area, but it had lots of hotels—the Shilla, the Lotte Hotel. And there was a big exhibit hall nearby.”

“It was probably the Jungmun area, and the place you mentioned was probably the convention center. I found a newspaper article about a trade fair like the one you described that was being held there around that time.”

Romi and Chakyung had long admired Hadam’s ability to gather information the way a worker bee would gather honey and arrange it in a clear pattern they could see.

“And the chocolatier that makes the chocolates you got as a gift is in the heart of Jeju City, near city hall. Since that guy is a beekeeper, I doubt he would work downtown. But he went all the way there to buy the chocolates and then went all the way to Jungmun to give them to you,” Hadam went on. She held up her phone to show her friends the map with a thick blue line drawn from the chocolate shop to the exhibit hall to indicate the route between them.

“About twenty-five miles. As long as a marathon course. It’d take more than an hour to travel this, even by car. Then he’d have to travel the same distance on the return trip. That’s a long trek to make for someone you only know from social media. Plus it was the second time he came to see you.”

“When you put it like that, I guess he was interested in me!” Romi raised her hands as if to clap, but then she paused, thinking deeply. “But why didn’t he contact me again? I even sent him a signal of my own when I wrote that he was the ‘sweet person’ I met.”

As far as Romi was concerned, she had definitely given him the green light—the universal signal to approach her. But then he’d simply vanished. Why was that? It was a mystery that was all too common in relationships, a riddle everyone believed they knew the answer to. It often came down to those famous words that had swept the globe for the last two decades: He’s just not that into you.

Chakyung studied Hadam. Their eyes met. Chakyung carefully weighed her words.

“Maybe something went wrong the second day.”

Hadam thought hard. Was it really just that this guy didn’t like Romi? After he’d gone to such lengths for a chance to see her a second time, however briefly? Even if he wasn’t interested in her, he could have at least been polite about it. Was it too much to think he could have said a simple hello on social media after all that?

“I don’t think that’s it,” Hadam said. “Romi said she was even thinking about marrying this guy. That kind of feeling isn’t usually a one-sided thing. It happens when something clicks between two people. Don’t you think so, Chakyung? What was it like when you met Chanmin? When you thought, I’m going to marry this person ?”

Chakyung thought about her fiancé, Chanmin. There had to have been something between them that made her think she wanted to marry him, right? Was there something between them? She didn’t answer.

“I didn’t get the feeling that I messed up or made him lose interest in me,” Romi said.

Chakyung cleared the memo on her tablet and started writing a new list. “If we suppose that you did in fact give him the green light,” she said, “there are a few possible hypotheses.”

REASONS THE GUY WHO SHOWED A CLEAR INTEREST IN YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE CONTACTED YOU AGAIN

1) He likes you but lacks confidence

This is common for most guys. They lack confidence, so they hesitate. They don’t even ask you how you feel. Plus you didn’t ask for his number, so ...

2) He likes you, but his job is more of a priority

Same thing as number one. He’s hiding his insecurities behind excuses. This is also really common.

3) He’s married or already seeing someone

Maybe?

All was silent for a moment. In Bon Vivant, the customers were trickling out one by one, and the lights had dimmed. Candles had been put out. The waiters moved quietly to clear the empty tables. It was almost closing time. The three women sat there, each imagining her own version of this man they hardly knew.

He could have been married. Even earlier, Hadam had considered this possibility. That would explain why he would give off all those signals that could be taken as interest, only to never approach Romi again. There were people like that in the world, after all—people who skirted accountability. But it made her sad to think that Romi had held on to her fond memories of him for three whole years.

“You’ve made a lot of guesses,” Romi said. “But why aren’t you considering the most plausible reason?”

“And what would that be?” Chakyung asked.

“He might have amnesia. Maybe he got into an accident that night after seeing me.”

It was hard to tell whether Romi was joking—pulling a line straight out of a Korean drama—or whether she was 100 percent serious. Chakyung almost burst out laughing, but she stopped herself at the sight of the sincere look on Romi’s face. If a man had completely forgotten about you, maybe it was better to chalk it up to amnesia rather than assume he was married.

“Well, I suppose that’s possible,” Chakyung said, frowning. “Many things are possible.”

Hadam was listening in, but all kinds of scenes kept playing in her head. A swarm of bees, a field of yellow flowers, blue seas and green mountains, people leaving the city and going to Jeju Island ...

She slammed her hands on the table, rattling their teacups. Romi and Chakyung looked up in surprise.

“Let’s find out.”

“Find what out?” Romi asked.

“The reason that guy didn’t reach out to you again.”

“But how?” said Chakyung.

“Let’s go to Jeju. To find that man, the beekeeper. Romi, you want to know what happened to him after the last time you saw him, don’t you? And, Chakyung, your company’s been looking for an eco-friendly project to build a campaign around, right? This could be a documentary, a marketing campaign, and a search for a long-lost love, all in one.” Although Hadam hadn’t had more than a single glass of wine at dinner, she had forgotten about the drinks she’d had with her freelancer friends earlier that day after quitting her job, so she didn’t consider that this all might have been the alcohol talking. But sometimes alcohol brings unexpected gifts—genuine passion, pure curiosity, and artistic inspiration.

Hadam declared, “We’ll call it Searching for Honeyman .”