Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
TIA
I snag two bowls of hot food before Jason drops the shrimp in and bring them back to my hut. I’m still thinking about what Gail said. About how we need to talk it out, and the best thing we can do is to communicate freely. More than that…that Rem’eb isn’t an asshole for his plans to return. I know his plans are anything but selfish, but it’s hard to be willing to give him up for the bigger good when all I want is for him to stay by my side.
The closer I get to “my” end of the beach, my khui begins to hum, louder and louder. It’s been far more insistent lately, with the smallest thing arousing me and my dreams full of filthy scenarios. I know it’s just going to get worse until resonance is fulfilled, and it’s another reason why the situation frustrates me so much. Resonance doesn’t give a fuck if Rem’eb abandons me, but I sure do. I duck into my hut with the bowls in hand to find the object of my desires is awake, and he’s pulling on layer after layer of clothing, probably in order to come and find me. His expression brightens at the sight of me, worry easing off his face. “Tia. You have returned.”
“I brought food,” I say, holding a bowl out for him. “Then you and I should probably have a nice, long chat.”
He tilts his head, studying me, his brows furrowed as he tries to make out what I’m saying.
“Noj’me,” I tell him. “After this.”
He nods. Food, then find the translator.
I sit next to him, my khui singing in my breast. It’s hard to concentrate on anything when all I want to do is touch him. I want to push that fur out of his lap and sprawl over him. I want to lick the head of his dick, not my carved bone spoon. Kissing him and the mental image of his tongue dancing against mine fills my head, and I’m so distracted that I feel as if I’m about to come out of my skin.
A hand touches my knee and I gasp, shocking pleasure jolting through me.
We both stare at each other, clutching our empty bowls. He leans in to kiss me, and I pull back, because I have to get my mind settled on where this is going first. I need to know what my future is going to look like. “Noj’me.”
“Yes. Let us find her.” If he’s hurt by my refusal, he doesn’t show it. Always so stoic, Rem’eb. It’s the chief’s son in him, I guess.
We wash our bowls and return them to the fire, and then wander through the camp looking for Noj’me the Attendant. Everyone’s lingering around camp and talking in whispers, and I remember that we’re all supposed to be helping out to do Flor’s surprise wedding feast. It seems more important in this moment that we find Noj’me first, though.
I’m not sure we’re going to be able to help anyone with resonance humming like it is. Even now, I’m fighting the urge to reach over and rip the layers of furs off of Rem’eb so I can touch his warm skin and let my hands roam all over him. If we’re apart, the resonance sensations are annoyingly distracting but tolerable. Together? My thoughts have been hijacked by an absolute dick-hound and all I can think about is sex.
Sex sex sex.
I’m not going to be able to hold out against resonance for much longer. I know others have held out for weeks, and Josie and Haeden took over a month to consummate things. I have no idea how the hell they did that, because I can’t resist constantly looking at Rem’eb, and when I look at him, things go haywire. My nipples get hard, my body clenches around nothing, and my panties get wet. My breathing speeds up.
It makes me want to avoid being around the rest of the tribe, that’s for sure. The last thing I want is someone pointing out that I’m sweating or that I look distracted. And if one of the newcomers so much as looks at Rem’eb, I might claw her eyes out.
The idea of being rational has been completely abandoned. Now I’m just a snarling, feral creature that needs to get laid. I think Rem’eb is just as lost in this as I am. He stumbles when he walks, as if he’s not paying enough attention, and he reaches for my hand constantly. Then the moment our fingers brush, he pulls away as if burned.
I don’t know how we manage to find Noj’me, given that neither of us is paying much attention to where we’re walking. Somehow we do manage to find her, though. She’s with Devi, who’s questioning her eagerly about life underground. If I had my wits together, I would have guessed that she’d be chatting with Devi, who loves to learn about the ecology of this planet. But since all of my brain cells are currently fixated on how good Rem’eb smells as he stands right next to me, well…I can’t be blamed for nearly walking over Noj’me and Devi both as they sit together on the beach, Devi’s son N’rav playing nearby in the sand.
“Yes, but can you describe them to me in greater detail?” Devi is asking, an animal skin spread on her legs and making notes on it with a charcoal-tipped bone.
Noj’me looks confused at the question. “They are mushrooms.” She shrugs. “Just mushrooms.”
“I need you to detail them for me—the color, the scent, the length of the stipe, if they grow in clusters or separately, if they have gills or flesh. Also the environment they grow best in. As much information as you can, please.”
“In…cave?” Noj’me shoots us a helpless look as we approach. “They are cave mushrooms. Big ones.”
Devi’s writing instrument scratches on the hide. “And how big is big, exactly? Are the textures of the mushrooms different when they’re smaller than they are as they grow larger?”
I clear my throat. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we need a translator. Can we borrow Noj’me for a while?”
Both women turn to look at us, hand in hand, distracted and resonating like a symphony. Noj’me smiles politely, her gaze focused on our chests, where the source of the endless humming is coming from. It’s as if she knows exactly what we’re going to ask about.
Devi opens her mouth to protest and then snaps it shut again. “Yes, of course. We’re just talking about some of the aspects of the mushrooms that their people grow. I would love to have a sample to study to see if we could cultivate it up here, but I suppose it’s not warm enough.” Her expression grows wistful. “Though maybe we could artificially make an appropriate environment somehow. I’m still not entirely sure it would work unless there’s some sort of dormant root system we can activate…”
I clear my throat again.
“Right, right, of course. There are far more pressing problems than fungal colonies.” Devi rolls up the skin on her lap. “Thank you for your time, Noj’me. May we talk again soon?” She smiles at all of us as Noj’me gets up to leave. N’rav races to his mother with a shell in his hand, proudly showing it off, and Devi is distracted. “That one is lovely, my boy, but we’ve already recorded that one.”
“Pretty,” N’rav says, holding it out again.
“So it is.” Devi takes it from him, beaming. “I stand corrected. This one is absolutely worth keeping. We shall put it on our shelf of ‘attractive but scientifically superfluous’ discoveries. Good job, N’rav. You’re such a big help.”
He giggles and races off into the sands again, no doubt to look for more shells.
Noj’me approaches us, her expression troubled. “What is su-per…su-per…”
“Superfluous,” I finish. “It means duplicate.”
She blinks at me. “Doo-plick?—”
“Double,” I correct. “A repeat.”
“Aaaah, repeat. Yes.” She nods sagely. “Devi knows a great many of the oracle’s words. She is very wise.” She gestures at the wide open beach. “Where talk?”
The beach isn’t busy today. The weather is nice, the faraway twin suns casting down their faint sunlight with all their might. It means it’s a good day for hunting and going out to do chores that are put off during blustery weather. It shouldn’t feel as if we’re on parade, but with my khui humming and Rem’eb at my side, I feel conspicuous. Like all eyes of the beach village are on both of us, wondering if we’ve fucked yet.
I can’t even blame them. If I was on the other side of this, I’d be watching us, too.
I point at a distant rocky outcropping near the shore. It’s just far enough away that no one will be able to hear our conversations, but not so far that it’ll be a huge hike back to the village. Which is good, because I’m not sure I have the energy to trek far. Every bit of me feels like it’s trembling, all because of resonance and its need to be fulfilled.
We make our way over, and Noj’me perches on the flat part of a broad rock, crossing her legs and then resting all four arms on her knees as she watches us. I sit across from her, my hands clasped in my lap, and watch as Rem’eb sits next to me. Instead of keeping his hands to himself, he slides one to my waist, another on my shoulder, and pulls me close. It makes my khui go haywire, and when I glance up at him, our eyes meet.
And then I’m lost. I want to crawl into his lap and kiss him until we’re both panting and naked. I want to straddle him and guide his dick between my thighs. I’d hold him carefully, rubbing the head of him against the entrance of my body and making both of us wild before I let him slide deep into me. Then I’d ride his dick until it unfurls inside me, filling me with his release?—
Noj’me speaks, jarring me from my filthy thoughts. “So, Tia the Stranger, tell me your words.”
I jerk my gaze away from Rem’eb’s heated one, distracted and flustered. “Right. Of course. My words.”
Now is the time I say everything. It’s just that…I haven’t really thought this all the way through. I keep getting distracted. I turn to Rem’eb, who’s watching me with understanding, worried eyes.
“I need you to make a deal with me,” I tell him, my words feeling weighty.
“Tia the Stranger needs you to make with her.” Noj’me says. “Make resonance, I think.”
“Make a deal,” I clarify, and it takes all of my being not to shout at her. “A bargain. An agreement.”
“Aaaah,” Noj’me says. “She wishes for you to agree with her.”
“Agree,” Rem’eb says, puzzled. “Over what?”
I’m starting to think we’d be better off without a translator. Noj’me’s grasp of our language is decent, but she gets just as much wrong as she does right, because she doesn’t understand slang or idioms. “We exchange things we want,” I say, trying again. I take one of Rem’eb’s free hands in mine and clasp it tight. I avoid eye contact, because if I look him in the eye, it distracts me and I need to focus. “You want resonance. I will do that if you go somewhere with me temporarily. It won’t be for forever, but it’s important.”
“Wait, too many words at once,” Noj’me says, looking frustrated. “You speak words different than the others.”
Right, because I can’t quite repeat some of the sounds the sa-khui make when I speak their language. No wonder she struggles to follow along. I focus on Rem’eb instead and start over. “We have been holding off on resonance.” When Noj’me repeats my words more or less correctly, I continue. “It’s not because I don’t like you. I like you too much. It hurts to think about you leaving once we have resonated and made a child. Have you changed your mind?”
Noj’me translates, and when she finishes, Rem’eb sighs heavily. His hand squeezes mine. “I cannot change my mind, my Tia. My people need a better leader. I fear what will happen if someone does not step in.”
I nod, trying not to feel disappointment. Of course I was hoping he’d feel different after being together for the last week, but it’s too much to hope for. He’s known them all his life, and me just a few short weeks. Why would I be important enough for him to abandon everything? He’s important to them.
Even though the answer is expected, it still hurts.
“Then I will join you in bed, and we’ll make a baby. But I want you to do something for me. I want you to take a journey to the Ancestors’ Ship with me. I want you to get the language lasered into your head. I want us to be able to talk. Really talk without any confusion, any interpreters. After that, I won’t hold you if you have to go.”
Noj’me translates as best she can, but she gets the point across, more or less. They both get confused when I mention the “language dump,” as Georgie calls it. It takes a bit of explaining for them before I settle upon telling Rem’eb and Noj’me that the “Oracle” of our people will provide learning to them at a very quick pace.
“It will be a journey of several days, and it will have to be after we have fulfilled resonance,” I admit. I don’t think I can travel far feeling the way I am.
“I do not mind a bit longer,” Rem’eb says. “I will take our time together and be grateful.”
Grateful. I smile thinly. I guess I can be grateful too, right? Or I can try.
“I will come as well,” Noj’me says eagerly. “Set’nef the Wanderer and Tal’nef the Swiftest will wish to come, too.”
Suuuuper. But I can’t exactly say no. If they plan on staying above with everyone else—and from what I can tell, the brothers don’t intend to go back, and Noj’me wants to stay and learn a while but plans to go back later. They all need a translator chip or the language dump if they’re going to be able to communicate. It’d be the height of selfishness for me to insist Rem’eb and I go alone, no matter how much I might want that. “Of course.”
“And perhaps some of the clones and taters,” Noj’me continues, chattering happily. “This is exciting!”
Rem’eb just watches me. His hand goes to my knee and he rubs it, and I swear, even through leather, his touch burns me. “Are you all right with this deal?”
“It’s the only choice I have, isn’t it?” I whisper.
Noj’me leans in, a hand to her ear. “I miss your words. Speak again?”
“I said yes, I am happy,” I say louder.
We can’t keep going on like this, after all. And if I vomit out everything I’m feeling to Rem’eb and it changes nothing? Then it was never meant to be anyhow.
Noj’me claps her hands. “I will speak to Colleen and the other clones. Perhaps they will enjoy a journey. Surely they want to see more of this world.” She pauses, thinking. “What about the dragon man?”
I pry my gaze from Rem’eb’s, trying to concentrate on her excited words. “Ashtar? No, I don’t think he’ll come.” If it was a smaller group, I might suggest that Ashtar fly us to the Ancestors’ Ship. It’d be far quicker. But Ashtar has been wary around the ancestors ever since Rem’eb started asking questions about healers. I think he worries that someone’s going to get it in their head to steal Veronica, and since Ashtar can be quite destructive, I think it’s best to keep the two groups separate. “No Ashtar. Just Rem’eb and Tia.”
“Rem’eb and Tia,” Rem’eb agrees, the hand on my back skimming over my spine. It’s like we’re alone together in that moment, and I can’t take my eyes off of him. I ache with how badly I want him. Need him. “When do you want to start, my Tia?”
Start? He must mean him and I…when do we want to try to make a baby?
No sense in waiting any longer, I decide. I take his hand from my knee, lift it to my lips, and kiss his fingertips. “Now.”