Chapter 2
The cafeteria was abuzz with activity and chatter this time of year.
We were almost at full capacity. Two days ago a new team had arrived from the state of Wisconsin, and just last week two more people had joined us as part of an Australian and US partnership project — something to do with meteorology that I did not entirely understand.
I sat down at our usual table. Grant was already there, and a new addition was his secret boyfriend, Dr. Adrien Cole. I still could not believe that Grant had waited seven years for his high school crush and had somehow engineered his love story into a happily ever after.
Grant was one of the few people on the station who knew I was gay. You did not exactly go around announcing that kind of thing. But Grant was gay and we had bonded over that the first time we met a few years ago. Like me he was also a diver, but unlike me he was not a scientist.
Over the years I had teased him mercilessly over his crush on Dr. Cole.
He would obsessively track every single thing about the man on the internet, and to be honest I had never believed the feelings were reciprocated.
I had genuinely thought it was something he had cooked up in his head. I was so very wrong.
Now it meant I got to watch them together right across the table. Not that they were openly doing PDA or anything. I got the feeling Adrien was not entirely comfortable with that kind of thing yet — he was still coming to terms with his own sexuality.
Seeing Grant so happy made a part of me ache. Would I ever get there? I did not even know where to begin with Sam. He had built walls around him higher than the Gulag. I had no clue about his sexuality either.
Sam came back after chatting with the chef. He sat down next to me and without a word started eating.
“So what’s the news on your birds?” Grant asked, breaking me out of my moping. Daniel hadn’t been wrong. I was moping. The bastard.
Grant nodded at the laptop I had open on the table beside me.
“A fascinating case of species-wide population change,” Marcus cut in, sitting down at the table.
Usually he did not join us, but since Adrien had arrived on the station he had taken a special interest in the celebrity scientist, much to the chagrin of Grant.
At some point Grant was going to have to explain to Marcus that Adrien was officially taken.
“How so?” Adrien asked me, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. “Sorry, I should probably know. Hopefully it’s nothing to do with my guys.”
I chuckled. “No it’s not.” I raised my fork and pointed at him. “Even though your guys eat my guys, I have chosen to maintain peace here,” I replied with a lofty air.
“That’s very noble of you,” Adrien grinned at me. “So tell me about your study. Grant tells me you are about to go on a week long field study?”
“Da. My current research is about the asymmetrical population movement of Adélie penguins. Most people know about emperor penguins thanks to that movie, you know?”
Adrien nodded.
“Adélie penguins are the only other penguins along with the emperor penguin that are completely Antarctica-adapted. They breed and live right here in Antarctica.”
Adrien nodded. “I saw quite a few whenever we were out scouting for leopard seals.”
“A few. See, that’s the thing. Had you come here a few decades ago they would have been all over the place.”
“Really?”
“They used to be a lot more. The population of Adélie penguins around the Antarctic Peninsula has declined sharply. The early researchers who first discovered this got concerned, right? But guess what?”
“What?” Adrien asked.
“When they exchanged notes with researchers in other parts of Antarctica a new story emerged. Apparently the overall population is not declining. Adélie penguin colonies in Antarctica are just going through a very interesting change.”
“Huh. What’s the hypothesis?” Adrien leaned forward, excited interest playing on his handsome face.
“Sea ice,” Marcus quipped.
I nodded at him. “Unlike other species, Adélie penguins need sea ice for their hunting.”
“Ahh, I understand now,” Adrien nodded. “That’s something that has affected the leopard seals as well. The shrinking sea ice around here due to the warmer climate.”
We talked some more about our studies while we all ate the delicious food cooked by our chef, Theo. Marcus left our table after a while.
“When do you guys leave?” Grant asked, glancing at Sam and me.
“Saturday,” I replied.
“We can drop you off,” Grant offered.
“Thanks, man.”
Later, Sam and I went down the stairs to the clinic on the first floor, also known as my roommate’s office.
He was the only medical personnel on the station, and as such we all treated him with a certain reverence.
He single-handedly took care of all kinds of aches, pains, colds, and god forbid the occasional serious injury.
He also ran his own NASA research, which was the coolest thing.
“All right, I am going to ask the usual pre-departure questions,” Daniel said, looking at both of us. “You know the drill. Have you experienced any recent changes in weight, appetite, thirst, or urine output?”
We both looked at each other. Then said no at the same time. Daniel tapped on his iPad.
“Excellent. Any mood changes?” He gave me a meaningful glare.
I glared right back. He knew exactly why my mood had changed. It had nothing to do with any medical problem and everything to do with Grant, who had gone and found himself an awesome boyfriend. I replied no, mulishly.
When I turned to Sam to hear his answer, he was staring at me with a questioning expression. Maybe I was acting more moody than my usual baseline.
The thing was that Sam did not know about Grant and Adrien. And he of course did not know about my unrequited feelings — feelings that had been going on longer than Grant’s had. I was twenty-five. That was a whole ass decade.
“Sam, what about you?” Daniel asked him.
“I’m fine, Dr. Park.”
Of course he was fine, I thought sullenly. It was not him who had to hide his feelings at every turn. Why did he have to be all handsome and brooding like this? Why couldn’t he be a dick? Why couldn’t he be someone who had no interest in my penguin studies?
But no. Instead he had to be all invested in my Adélies.
I needed a bit of time and a bit more distance from Grant and Adrien. I was glad I was going away for a week. I would get my head on straight while I was happily cataloguing my penguins. I would just get over Sam, I decided. This was it.
“Viktor, did you get that?”
Shit. I had zoned out. “Uh, sorry. No. What did you ask again?”
Daniel blew a breath and then with visible patience mustered, repeated himself. “I was asking about your pre-departure kit. Is it all stocked?”
“Oh yeah. I checked and double checked and triple checked,” I assured him.
He opened his mouth but I cut him off.
“I know, I know. I tend to forget stuff and that is why I triple checked. But if you want I can bring it to you and you can check for yourself.”
“No, that’s fine. I trust Sam.” Daniel looked down at his iPad and tapped away. But I caught the hint of a smile. He was teasing me.
“You’re a prick,” I told him.
He ignored me and proceeded to take our blood pressure and all kinds of different baseline data. Once he was done he turned to the two laptops set up on one side of the clinic.
“You’re both in excellent health. Everything checks off. One last thing for my NASA study and then you both are good to go.”
Daniel was such a rule follower. Not one time did he miss doing everything by the book. I would make a terrible doctor. I would just skip most tests if the patient told me he was fine.
“The computer will run you through two short tests for attention span and working memory. Once you’re back from your trip I will run these tests again to check the effects of prolonged isolation.
You both already know that is what I am doing for my NASA study, but I still have to get your informed consent every time. Do I have your informed consent?”
“Da. Now hurry.”
“Yes, Doc.”
We parked our butts in front of the terminals and went through the series of brain games, as Daniel liked to call them. Usually I enjoyed these, but it was just not my day. When I was done Daniel looked at the results and gave me another look.
“What now?”
He hesitated, then looked up at Sam. “Could you give us a moment, Sam? Doctor-patient confidentiality.”
Sam looked taken aback. “Sure.” He gave me a long glance and then quietly left the clinic.
I groaned and dramatically flopped back into my chair.
Daniel cleared his throat and seemed to pick his words carefully.
“Viktor, I know you are a bit disturbed right now, but I have been taking your data for four years and you know I track it. I do that with all personnel here, and I have never seen such atrocious numbers from you.” He turned the iPad toward me and showed me a graph that looked more or less stable across four years and then plunged sharply down.
“Damn,” I muttered with feeling.
I glanced at the ring on his finger while I took a moment to gather my thoughts.
“Look, I know this seems concerning to you. You are married and yet you overwinter here year after year. I have never seen you mope the way I am currently doing. I hand it to you, okay? I am with Sam every single day and yet I cannot seem to get my head out of my ass. But I have a feeling this one week is going to be the fix. I will finally get over him. I am determined.”
Daniel opened his mouth. Then closed it. He looked away and tapped his stylus idly against the iPad. Finally he looked back at me.
“Just be careful. Promise me?”
“Of course I will be. You don’t have to worry about me.” I added a smile to reassure him. Besides, what was I going to do — run away with the penguins?