Chapter 13
SPARROW
Iran with no idea of where I was running to, hot shame burning through me.
I just needed to get away from the prince, from the laughter of the crowd, and from Elowin.
I had spent my entire life waiting for the moment I was presented to the prince, imagining every detail of how it might play out, and what had happened?
The prince had been unimpressed with my magic, and then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, I’d humiliated myself by kissing him.
And he’d been polite about it.
Tears burned my eyes as I ran, making the market blurry and indistinct, like the world viewed through a window on a rainy day. I was only vaguely aware of my surroundings and was jostled roughly by the crowd, and I wasn’t expecting it when someone grabbed my shoulders and said, “Sparrow?”
I tried to pull back, but then I recognized a familiar, concerned face. “Silrisar?”
“What happened?” he asked.
“I made a fool of myself in front of the entire market,” I whispered, swallowing back more tears. “It was awful. He wasn’t interested in me, and my magic didn’t work, and everyone laughed at me, Silrisar. I really am nothing but a joke.”
“Oh, Sparrow,” he said with a sigh and pulled me into a hug. I listened to the steady beat of his heart under my ear, grateful that he hadn’t asked for more details. Although he probably didn’t need to, did he? It must have been obvious to anyone with eyes that I was no match for a prince.
No wonder they’d laughed at me.
The worst part wasn’t even the prince’s polite refusal.
If I was honest with myself, I was relieved that he’d turned me down.
He seemed perfectly nice and he was undeniably handsome, but when we’d kissed, there had been no spark at all.
And when I tried to imagine being wed to him, I couldn’t picture it at all.
Instead, my treacherous mind filled with pictures of Elowin—his smile, his green eyes, the feel of magic pulsing through me whenever we kissed, and butterflies.
Always butterflies.
Except there would be no more kissing Elowin, not now. He’d been sent to fetch me as an errand and was probably glad to be done with me. My chest ached at the loss.
“Can I come with you when you leave?” I asked Silrisar.
He raised one dark eyebrow. “You’re not going home to Hillstowe? Or staying here with your envoy?”
I blinked back the tears that were trying to make a reappearance. “He’s not mine. And all this time I thought he was a guard, and he’s not. He’s royalty.”
“And?” Silrisar asked. He guided me into his tent, then picked me up like I weighed nothing and perched me on a tall stool and swung himself up onto the matching one next to me. “It seemed like you might have feelings for him, that’s all.”
I leaned into his side, my heart clenching. “I do,” I admitted. “But I don’t think he feels the same way about me. Elowin knew my duty lay in making a royal match, yet he never bothered to mention he was the prince’s cousin, even when we became close. So he must not care for me at all.”
But even as I said it, I struggled to believe it. It didn’t fit with the Elowin I knew and, yes, loved. But what other explanation could there be?
Silrisar hummed under his breath, then said, “Maybe he didn’t say anything because you were so determined to marry the prince, hmm?”
My heart fluttered as I considered it. I had been very single-minded in my pursuit of Prince Aldian, and Elowin had respected that, just like he’d respected all of my wishes.
“Perhaps,” I said. “But it doesn’t matter now. He won’t want me after the spectacle I just made of myself.”
“Well,” Silrisar said, a grin splitting his face, “for someone who isn’t interested, he seems very intent on finding you. Look.”
He pointed, and I saw a figure I recognized instantly striding determinedly along the path, looking from side to side. When Elowin spotted me, he started to run.
“Sparow!” he called, and he didn’t sound angry that he’d had to chase me. If anything, he sounded relieved. He quickly closed the distance between us. “Are you alright?”
My throat ached as I shook my head.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Are you really the prince’s cousin?” I asked.
He nodded. “On my mother’s side. My name is Elowin Haewen-Fyreham.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s never mattered to me,” he said, “and because I thought it wouldn’t make any difference to you. You came here to marry Aldian, Sparrow.”
I blinked back fresh tears. “Yes. But then my magic didn’t work and everyone laughed.”
Elowin sighed. “And is that all that’s preventing you, then?”
“Well, he doesn’t want me,” I said and then added, in almost a whisper, “and maybe I don’t want him either.”
Elowin’s mouth twitched. “Say it again.”
I glanced at Silrisar, and he smiled and nudged me with his elbow. I said, “Maybe I don’t want him either.” My lip wobbled. “But I’m the Fyreham Lathian! I’m supposed to want him!”
Elowin snorted. “Why? So your parents can afford to hire a maid?”
“My mother really hates making cheese,” I said in a small voice. “She’s terrible at it, Elowin.”
“I know,” he said. “Your parents gave me refreshments when I met you.” He shrugged. “I’m the prince’s cousin, Sparrow. I can afford to hire your parents a maid. Marry me?”
My jaw dropped and the blood pounded in my ears.
It was the perfect solution! My parents might be disappointed I wasn’t marrying the prince, but if Elowin granted them enough money to hire a maid, and possibly even a gardener, then they would at last be restored to the manner the Cranhawc-Hazelthorns, in their gentility, deserved.
Elowin wasn’t a prince, but he was a noble elf, and I liked him.
I loved him. And perhaps he loved me too, and not only for the length of my hair or my impeccable manners.
He loved me in taverns, when I was drunk and playing the lute.
He loved me in the woods, when I was tangled in a bush.
He loved me on hot air balloons, when I told him about birds to distract him from being sick.
Marriage to Elowin was the perfect solution because he was perfect.
I should have said yes.
Instead, I said, “But.”
“But what?” Elowin asked me, and my answer tumbled out before I even knew what it was going to be.
“But maybe I don’t want to get married at all,” I said, dizzy as I heard the words and realized that I meant them. “Maybe I want to do the things you said I could do, like play the lute, or work with Rowan, or buy a horse and travel the continent. Or maybe I want to do different things to that.”
Elowin smiled. “Then that’s fine too. But would it be alright if I wanted to do those things with you?”
“Oh yes,” I said, relieved and delighted. “Yes! That would be wonderful!”
Elowin reached out and touched my knee, and I leaned forward into his kiss. I closed my eyes, reveling in the touch of his lips, the way his hands found a resting place on my hips, and the bubbles that burst in my bloodstream just from kissing and being kissed by Elowin.
“Well, would you look at that?” Silrisar murmured.
Elowin pulled back, and I opened my eyes to see an entire kaleidoscope of brilliant butterflies bursting into life around us.
“Hello again,” said Prince Aldian that evening as he joined us at the dining table inside The Three Cats. “Birdoswyn, was it?”
“Sparrow,” I said, flushing faintly.
Aldian took a seat across from Elowin and me and smiled as he saw our joined hands resting on the table. “Looks like everything worked out, then.”
“It did,” Elowin said. He smiled too and squeezed my hand. “How was your day?”
Instead of answering with words, Aldian unbuttoned his tunic and peeled the fabric open. My jaw dropped as I saw the gold and silver tattoo that shimmered on his chest. It was a dragon, and whatever charm made it shimmer also made it move. It saw me looking and turned its head and winked.
“That’s amazing!” I exclaimed.
Aldian grinned. “Isn’t it?” He closed his tunic again, tucking the dragon away. “I can probably get you a good deal from the artist if you’re interested.”
“Oh, no,” I said automatically, and then thought for a moment. “That is… can they do birds as well?”
“You’ll end up covered in them,” Elowin said, but there was no note of disapproval in his tone. “You couldn’t possibly pick a favorite bird.”
I leaned against him. “Could you?”
“Sparrows,” he said without hesitation and warmth bloomed in my chest. “But I might not get a bird. I might get a butterfly.”
Prince Aldian raised his eyebrows. “Why a butterfly?”
“Because of this.” Elowin leaned over and kissed me, and there was a soft breeze as several butterflies danced around us before dissolving.
“Oh, that’s marvelous! Is this the magic you were trying to show me earlier?” Aldian tilted his head. “Of course it only works with Elowin. It must be sympathetic.”
“Do you mean it feels sorry for me?” I asked.
Aldian laughed. “No, sympathetic in the magical sense. It means that the magic is created where a bond exists, like between two objects, or in your case, I suppose, two elves.”
I chewed my lip while I pondered his words. “So it’s not my magic after all?”
“I think it’s probably a shared magic,” Aldian said. “Which explains why nothing happened when you kissed me.”
I gazed at Elowin in wonder, contemplating the idea that what we had—what we shared—was so special it made magic come to life. Elowin gazed back at me, his mouth curved into a gentle smile I thought I would never tire of seeing. Then I realized the prince was still watching us.
I flushed. “I should have known my magic wasn’t very impressive on its own.”
“Oh, the slight warming thing?” Aldian asked and sucked a breath through his teeth. “I suppose it must have its uses?”
“Don’t say that about your magic.” Elowin nudged me with his shoulder and then said to his cousin, “It does have its uses. It saved us from getting a chill when we bathed in the stream, didn’t it?”
“And it’s very handy when the strawberries in the garden are slow to ripen,” I added.
“Do you enjoy gardening?” Elowin asked me, his face lighting up.
“You’ve tasted my mother’s cheese. I’m committed to growing decent food,” I said with a rueful smile. “And yes, I like it a lot. I like growing things, and I like seeing what birds and animals come to see what’s happening.”
“No wonder your magic is sympathetic,” Prince Aldian said. “You really are a matched pair, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness?”
The prince waved a hand. “Well, that’s what Elowin does. He wants to be… I can’t think of the word, but he’s far too interested in breeding high-yield potatoes and talking about different types of beans, aren’t you, Elowin?”
“It’s an agriculturist, Aldian,” Elowin said, rolling his eyes. He said to me, “I’m a student at the university in Emberleigh.”
“Oh! That sounds fascinating!” I said eagerly, and Elowin smiled proudly.
“I keep telling him you can’t breed a potato,” Aldian said. “Put two of them in a candlelit room, and nothing happens at all. They don’t have the parts for it!” He shrugged. “I suppose this is why I’m a prince and not a scholar.”
“Yes,” Elowin said. “Lucky for all of us.”
If Aldian had a reply, and I was sure he did, he didn’t get the chance to use it because at that moment Rowan entered the room.
“Hello, Aldian,” she said and leaned down and kissed his cheek. Then her gaze slid to where Elowin and I were still holding hands. “Oh good! You figured it out.”
“Rowan,” Aldian said. “Make me a tunic? I’m going to need one that shows off my new tattoo.”
“Show me,” she said briskly, and Aldian happily displayed his dragon, flexing his chest muscles to make it dance.
He seemed like a very different elf than the noble prince I’d met earlier at the Ceremonial Pavilion.
He was relaxed and laughing and, although it seemed ungracious to even think it, a bit of an idiot?
I was no longer offended by Aldian’s refusal to marry me. Elowin had explained that it wasn’t personal and that Aldian didn’t want to marry anyone. That was probably for the best. Besides, he wasn’t the elf for me.
Elowin wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his side. I fitted against him perfectly. When he pressed a kiss to my temple, a single tiny butterfly appeared and vanished in a shower of sparkling dust a second later, and I tilted my head back and smiled up at him.
I didn’t want, or need, a prince to marry.
I just wanted someone who gave me butterflies.