Chapter 1 #3
"Always such a liar," he murmured. Fondly—or was that her imagination? It wasn't as though Theira had any experience relating to another person honestly. She'd have to decide—later.
Theira sniffed, turning back to her shelves so she didn't have to care what her face did as she enjoyed the spark she always felt playing with him. "I could brew a mind control potion if I wanted."
"Far be it from me to question your skill."
No, he knew that all too well.
Abruptly she said, "It's for rejuvenation, with a little added for pain management. It'll help you heal faster to get back in the game."
Varius didn't answer.
When she looked back, he didn't look encouraged—his whole body sagged.
Her heart clenched. He might have been her enemy once, but that was not a good sign.
Looking forward to sparring with him had once been the only light that kept her going. If he didn't want to fight, was there anything left between them? Since her escape she had thoroughly demonstrated she didn't know how to be a light for anyone else.
But he was here under her grace and knew it, so maybe she could try the direct approach and just ask what in Gaia's name he needed from her. How novel.
Potion bottles in hand, Theira returned to his side, set them down, and looked him hard in the eye. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"
"They'll follow me," Varius whispered. "I shouldn't have brought you into this."
Oh for Gaia's sake, what a fucking martyr. "I promise I was perfectly capable of not opening my door."
Varius suddenly smiled faintly, and it was like the whole room grew warmer. Oof.
"Were you capable of not opening the door?" he asked her. Teased her. "Not knowing what I was here for?"
Ha. He had her there.
In a way, he knew her better than anyone. That was dangerous.
But part of the whole point of leaving was that she didn't have to care about that anymore. At least, not the way she had.
"You're on my turf," Theira reminded him. "I can maneuver you into a truth spell any time I want. Tell me."
The light faded from his gaze, and she ached with regret at the loss.
Finally, eyes closed as if he couldn't bear to look at his words, Varius ground out, "Sobanus ordered me to march on the city."
It took Theira a moment to realize he didn't mean Korossia; he meant one of the Aurelian Empire's own cities.
Well, that certainly explained what had gotten Varius moving. He not only would never have done it, he wouldn't have stood for it. His loyalty was to his people, not their aristocratic oligarchs, and anyone on either side of the border knew it.
"There's been more unrest," Varius said.
"The empire calls more and more people, younger every year, to fight in a war with no end in sight.
There are fewer to work the fields, to make the boots and arrows.
We salvage them from the dead. I did what I could to protect rebels who protested, getting them out of jail, paying fines so some could stay home.
Sending kids to fight is bad enough. The patricians expect me to murder them? I can't. I won't."
Theira squeezed more of one salve onto her hands and worked it into the monstrous muscle of his arm. "Caius Sobanus is a known asshole. Do you think he really expected you to?"
Varius was silent a moment. "I don't know.
It was obviously a loyalty test, but I've never disobeyed direct orders like that before.
If he wanted me out of his way, he could have just fired me for not managing to win their war yet.
" He sighed. "But Sobanus is an asshole, and he wouldn't miss a chance to stick a knife in my ribs first."
"It may be more than that," Theira commented.
"Sobanus isn't stupid. Firing the most successful legatus?
People would have never stood for it, and if he thinks the rebels might see you as a figurehead, the only way to get rid of you is to kill you—and to get your own soldiers to do it so you're not martyred.
He'll have told them something different about why you left. "
Varius grunted. "Yeah. That much was clear."
Sorceresses worked alone. She'd never been responsible for soldiers, but she knew how seriously he took his responsibility to defend them, and having to kill them in order to escape would have cracked something in him.
No wonder the fight had gone out of him.
"I'm sorry you had to face them like that. "
At this point Theira had finished usefully working a potion into Varius’ ribcage and was just massaging the area, feeling the play of his ridiculous muscles under her hands.
"Me too," Varius said softly. "But it's better than it could have been. Sobanus knew I'd avoid the barracks, but expected me to go to ground in the city. He didn't think I had anywhere to go."
It took Theira a moment to realize he'd looked down and was now just watching her touch him. His feet were firmly planted on the floor, and she was kneeling between his legs.
His eyes as he watched her were dark, glittering.
She grinned up at him, as if it were not embarrassing to be caught distracted by the realness of him, here, when he'd just been forced to flee for his life.
"You're half naked in my kitchen and I can finally satisfy my curiosity," Theira said with a shrug.
Varius looked faintly stunned.
Oh no. Had she misread after all? She didn't have anything like his charm and ease with people.
Maybe that was too personal. She didn't want to destroy the surreal truce they had going, so she tried one more time to make it into more of a joke.
"Any wounds that would justify taking your pants off?"
Silence.
On further reflection, if her goal was to set him at ease, that may not have been the joke to do it.
Theira shriveled internally as she forced herself to sit back to keep him from being uncomfortable here in a place he came to only because he had no other options—more uncomfortable—because she wasn't sure she could bear it if someone finally came to her for help and then she was the reason they fled.
She was just about to get to her feet when Varius said, his voice dry and very, very rough, "Unless you have a rejuvenation potion with a little more kick, I don't think you'll be impressed with anything in my pants tonight."
Theira kept her expression one of mild amusement but thought he could probably see the brightness in her eyes.
Unreasonable, for her heart to soar like this, from so little—but he was playing, despite the devastation made of his life in the last day, and with her, when he knew better than anyone what she could do.
She hadn't misread him, or made him uncomfortable. At least, not so much that he was going to flee from her.
Then again, given what it had taken to get him to move, he would withstand a lot of discomfort if he thought he had to.
Maybe she didn't deserve to have nice things after all she'd done, but that wasn't how she wanted him.
Theira smiled, so he wouldn't think she was fleeing, and withdrew back to the kitchen. "After this healing, you're going to sleep like a rock anyway."
"Not magical sleep?" Varius asked. "You know they'll come for me, I don't want you—"
"Varius. Why did you come here?"
A beat.
Theira crossed back to him and leaned down, her eyes right in front of his.
And then with heat in his voice, Varius said, "Because if anyone can get the better of them, it's you."
Theira's smile was slow and feral.
It was so nice to be appreciated without the cowering.
She purred, "And it will be my pleasure."
The fire in him faded, and his shoulders slumped. "But what can be done? They won't give up. This war will go on forever."
She eyed him critically. A little hopelessness after the day he'd had was entirely justified, but that wasn't how she wanted him, either.
And she didn't think it was what he wanted.
So the Sorceress Transcendent just said, "Sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow."