Chapter 4
What did you do to make Eddie hate you so much?
I asked on the third night of our journey.
We’d barely spoken over the last few days.
Ralis is a long ways from Anspolis and we still have a little over a week of travel ahead of us.
I’ve thought of several plans for what to do when we arrive but even I know that none of them are great.
Cerri and Eddie are likely panicking over where I’ve gone but I know neither of them have any connections in Ralis.
Despite his aloofness, Vizor had been very…
attentive to me. We’d been stopping way more than necessary at the various watchtowers and every time he made sure that I’d eaten enough food until I’m stuffed.
I felt a little bad because in a few cases we’d cleaned out the food stashes but when I tried to leave some for the next patrol that stopped by, Vizor just stared at me intensely until I kept eating.
Sometimes I’d have to get people’s attention before I spoke with them. But Vizor kept close enough watch on me that I could just start signing and he wouldn’t miss anything.
I was also pretty sure that he was sleeping next to me every night.
He was sneaky about it. Somehow he always knew when I was pretending to be sleeping to catch him moving closer to me.
But eventually I’d fall asleep for real and only stirred slightly to turn into the warmth more.
It was driving me a little crazy because I didn’t know with absolute certainty that he was doing this or if I was just dreaming it all up.
Every morning when I woke he was several feet away from me and I was cold. It was… confusing. Rationally, I should hate him. I mean despite the fact that he clearly didn’t like going along with this plan—he was still doing it.
Vizor pursed his lips together and I knew he didn’t want to answer this question. Probably because he didn’t want to spark another fight.
I told him that he was going to get Cerri killed one day… he hesitated. Just like he had his mother.
Anger flashed through me and I started to say something harsh before pausing. Vizor knew what it was like to lose a mother. Even if he didn’t like Eddie, that was an especially cruel thing to say. I cocked my head as I studied him. Why?
Vizor’s expression went carefully blank and he didn’t answer.
I thought about it more. He’d clearly decided that the best bet to surviving in Anspolis was by cozying up to Thorod and my father.
Cerri was in direct opposition to her father—that wasn’t a secret.
Let me guess. Cerri tried to sway you to her side, better the relationships between you two.
And you knew that the best way to get her to back off was to hurt Eddie.
He blinked. Yes.
I shook my head. You should have chosen them.
Vizor shrugged. Agree to disagree.
My fingers rubbed at where the collar was beginning to chafe my skin and Vizor grimaced. I would take it off if I could—at least until we got closer to Ralis. But your father didn’t give me a key.
He could be lying to make me feel better.
Trust him more. Not about the not having the key part—that I was sure was true.
My father would have liked knowing that he held that control over me.
But if Vizor had the key, would he truly have taken the collar off and trusted that I wouldn’t fly away on him?
And the better question—would I have fled from him? Even knowing my father would likely kill him for losing me? Not that long ago I wouldn’t have hesitated…but now I wasn’t so sure what I’d choose. Perhaps it was for the best that he didn’t have the key.
I could believe that he really would set me free. And he could believe that I wouldn’t run away from him.
Tell me about Ralis? I asked, trying to distract myself from my own confusing thoughts. Are there any redeeming qualities to the city? Is it at least patrolled well and safe?
I knew by his sly grin and the way his eyes lit up that he knew what I was really asking.
The city is a cesspool and the guards who patrol are lazy.
They manage to do a decent job of keeping the trakdi out but it’s easy to sneak past the patrols.
His expression sobered. But Lynette, Ralis is far from all the other cities.
There would be nowhere for you to go. Running once you got there would be a mistake.
Agree to disagree, I gave him a smile that didn’t reach my eyes.
Don’t, he signed sharply. Don’t smile at me when it’s a lie.
The false smile fell from my lips. What would you have me do, Vizor? I may not have Cerri’s outright fire, but do not mistake me for weak.
I’ve felt your punches, darling. He touched his jaw where I’d hammered a hit days ago. I’d never consider you weak. Only desperate.
I shrugged. As you’ve pointed out. It’s a cruel world we live in. We all do what we must.
When Vizor’s stare grew too intense, I looked away, my heart pounding rapidly. Slow deliberate movement caught my attention, like he didn’t want to startle me as he moved closer, and Vizor touched my cheek. His fingers trailed down jawline before he dropped his hand away.
Come. I want to show you something. Please.
He rose from where he’d been kneeling and held out a hand.
I took it and let him guide me up the winding stairs to the roof of the watchtower.
The brisk night air rolled over my skin.
I’d stolen a cloak and a change of clothes from the last watch tower.
Leaving behind my dingy dress in exchange for pants that fit me decently but a tunic that was far too large.
It was warmer than the dress but I’d always been sensitive to the cold.
Vizor pointed up at the night sky, I looked up to the cluster of stars he was pointing at.
One shone very brightly and three others made almost a triangle above it.
He gently tapped my hand to get my attention again and then explained.
The Hunter’s Mark. If you are in Ralis and find yourself outside the city in need of a direction to go.
Find that constellation and follow it. It will take you in the direction of Isonver.
The mesas surrounding that city are shorter than they are elsewhere.
Once you see that, you’ll know you’re getting close.
I raised my gaze to the sky again, studying the constellation and making sure I could find it again, before dropping my attention back to Vizor. Thank you for helping me.
He gave me a wry smile. Still the bad guy here.
True. I gave him a lopsided smile. But at least you’re the bad guy who’s kind of a good guy.
That makes no sense.
Before I could second guess myself, I stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. His eyes were wide when I dropped back down. I’m cold, let’s go back inside. Tomorrow night you can tell me the best ways to slip past the guard patrols.
He shook his head but the smile remained on his lips as he led me back downstairs. Once again I fell asleep with a distance between us. And once again I dreamed that I was sleeping surrounded by warmth and comfort.