Chapter 16
The tower is strangely quiet with most of the servants gone.
I'm not sure how it's going to be explained away that the servants have gone, but Lady Eyre remained and died, but I'm sure it's already been thought of.
A lot of them will just be able to start over with a new name, or maybe even just in a new place.
Others will be boarding the boat that will take us back to our castle.
I walk through the courtyard and pause to look up at the tower. Some good things have happened here, but I'm still not sad to see it go. I'm certainly glad that I won't have to deal with Lady Eyre again. I know there's a chance I'll run into her at the castle, but I'll be able to walk away.
A roar cuts through the air, and I look up in time to see Fen swooping down from the sky.
His dark red wings stretch outwards, temporarily blocking the sun from view.
It should be terrifying, but there's nothing to worry about as far as Fen is concerned.
I know he's not going to hurt me, in this form or his other.
Several streams of fire burst from him as he sets the tower on fire.
Some parts go straight up in a blaze, while others start more gradually, growing until they're something more.
Even though this is where we agreed to meet, and he assured me I'd be safe from the flames, I'm a little nervous about being so close, and hope he'll be done soon so that we can get away from here.
He circles the tower three more times, paying extra attention to the window that belongs to Lady Eyre's room, where the body Vasia and I staged to pretend to be her is waiting to be burned.
I say a prayer under my breath for the real dead woman.
I know this is what she wanted, but I still feel like it's right to acknowledge her.
I'm not even a religious person, but burning the dead is something sacred that unites many cultures around the world, being burned by dragon flame even more so.
Fen reappears, still in dragon form. He comes lower, until I start to wonder what his plan is.
My heart races as the large dragon lands in the courtyard beside me. Not knowing what makes me do it, I reach out, and he lowers his head so I can touch him. His scales are warm to the touch, and reflect the raging fire in their smooth, dark-red surface.
He gestures with his head towards his back, and it takes me a moment to realise he's inviting me to get on.
I'm a little nervous about it, never having ridden a dragon, at least not like this, but I have to admit to being curious.
He sets his head down on the cobbled floor of the courtyard, allowing me to sit over his neck.
Not really knowing what else to do, I use pieces of his mane to tie myself in place, and wrap my hands around a few more strands.
Nervous excitement spreads through me as his wings stretch and he gets to his feet. My heart jumps to my throat as he lifts into the air, causing the wind to rush around me. It's cold and loud, but it's exhilarating to feel his powerful body beneath me.
He circles the tower a few times, and I look down at the burning building. It's strange to see the place that's briefly been our home go up in smoke, but at the same time, there's a part of me that's glad, and that wants to see it gone.
A rumble comes from beneath me, and it takes a moment for me to realise what's happening.
A stream of bright orange flame bursts from Fen and lights a barn on fire.
I know there's nothing left to ruin other than the building itself, the Damsels and Lady Eyre having taken everything of value, but it still feels like a waste.
The cold air this high in the air chills me, and I lean closer to Fen, accepting the warmth that his scales bring.
He must realise, or else he's done with making sure that the tower is burning, as he finally stops circling and starts to fly away from the tower.
It's amazing how small everything looks from up here, the people look like ants, and the fields like pieces of a patchwork quilt. Even more surreal is how quickly it passes us by. Dragonback is so much quicker than riding, or taking a carriage.
After a while, that's proved when we catch up with the Damsels caravan, the carriage and carts trundling along at a speed far less than ours.
Fen points his head down and flies lower, passing just above and casting his shadow over them. For a moment, I think that he's going to take us down to the ground so that we can meet them, but he flies past, gaining height and speeding further towards the coast.
The warmth emanating from his scales chases away some of the cold, but I'm still feeling it by the time we reach the sea, and the boat waiting to take us back to our home.
Fen finally lands, coming to a stop just before the port town, probably so that people don't make the connection between him and the dragon they've just seen overhead.
I have no idea if dragons exist that don't have a human form, but maybe that's part of the point.
He lays his head down on the ground, and I untangle myself from his mane with numb fingers. I slide to the ground, feeling a little bit unsteady on my feet after the ride.
Red and gold smoke fills the air, making me cough a little as Fen appears in front of me, no longer the large red dragon, but the man.
"How was your first dragon flight?" he asks.
"Amazing," I respond. "Though next time, I want some warning so I can bring a warmer cloak," I say.
Fen chuckles. "Next time?" He steps closer and pulls me into his arms.
I nestle into his warmth. "Or not, if you don't want to take me flying again."
"You can ride me any time you want," he jokes.
"And I intend to take you up on that offer." I kiss his cheek.
"Oh, you are cold."
"It'll pass," I promise. "And it was worth it to see everything from that height. Even the burning tower." I sigh at the thought, still a bit conflicted.
"Are you all right?" Fen asks, looking down at me with concern.
"Not really," I respond. "It's been a very intense mission."
"It has," he agrees.
"I know we've done what we set out to do, but it still doesn't feel like enough."
"Stealing away Lord Alfson's daughter and burning down his tower isn't enough?" Fen asks.
"You know it isn't." I take a deep breath. "He's going to care more about the tower than his daughter, isn't he?"
"More than likely."
"I just...I don't understand how we can live in a world where that's possible. She should matter. And I say that with not liking her."
Fen chuckles. "You can dislike someone while accepting that they should be seen as a person."
I lean my head against his chest, taking comfort in the steady beating of his heart. "I know that."
He wraps his arms even more tightly around me and kisses the top of my head. "We did a good job, Ingrid. Now, we go home, we rest, and we get up tomorrow ready to fight another day."
"We rest, huh?" I reach out and touch the collar of his jacket. "And how much of the rest do you intend to do with your eyes closed?"
"That depends on how much you're there with me for."
My lips quirk up into a smile. "All of it."
He laughs. "Then I don't think I'll get any sleep at all."
Even though I do feel good about that, it doesn't do anything to stop me from feeling like I've not done enough.
"I know what you're thinking, Ingrid."
"I'm not thinking about bedding you."
"I didn't think you were," he responds. "You have got to accept that you've done enough for today.
I'm not saying that it's enough for forever, because it isn't. That's not how it works.
But you have done enough for today, for this week, and for this year.
You're no good to anyone if you're exhausted.
You won't be able to protect anyone, save anyone, or make the world a better place if you drop dead from exhaustion because you've tried to do it all at once. "
"Then how do I know I've done enough?"
His expression softens as he looks at me, and I realise there must be some kind of plea in my eyes. He reaches out and touches my face, the gesture tender and full of affection. "I know you. I don't think you're ever going to think it's enough."
"Reassuring," I murmur.
"But isn't that why you wanted to go out on missions for the Damsels?" he asks.
"Yes," I admit. "You know how it was when we were growing up. Our parents wanted us to make sure we knew three things..."
"How to defend ourselves, how to keep calm, and that we need to use our position for good," he says. "I remember, they used to have us recite that mantra every morning with Vasia. What was it?"
"I won't let my emotions control me. I will fight for others' freedom. I will protect those who can't protect themselves." It comes out smoothly, the years of having it drilled into my head making it easy to remember.
Fen chuckles dryly. "That's the one. I can't believe I forgot."
"I can't believe you did either."
"We're doing what we promised, Ingrid," he assures me. "And we'll keep doing what we promised. Lady Eyre is just going to be the first of many."
"Mmm, and hopefully the next one will be a little bit more tolerable."
He snorts. "I guess we'll see about that."
I smile at him. "How long do we have until the others arrive?"
"Long enough that we can get to the inn, claim a room, and have something to eat."
I raise an eyebrow. "You want everyone to know about us already?"
"I've been sure about you since the moment I realised you felt the same way I did. But if you'd rather we kept this quiet..."
"No, that's not what I want. Vasia already knows, and she's the only person whose opinion matters."
"True," he agrees.
"So let's go find the inn. Hopefully, they have a nice warm fire, because I really am cold."
"Here." He shrugs off his jacket and holds it out to me.
"I can't, you'll get cold."
"I'll be fine," he promises. "Please?"