Chapter 6
The firebugs’ buzzing became louder until the noise drowned out every other sound around us.
I covered my ears and looked over to Madden, who stared with an open mouth, and I could see the memories in his eyes, like haunting shadows.
“What happened with the firebugs?” I yelled.
“What?” he screamed back, bringing his hands over his ears.
I just shook my head. Now wasn’t the time to have this conversation. Madden grabbed my arm, urging me back, but I shook out of his grip and pointed a finger at his chest.
“You have to face them,” I said.
He must’ve understood me because his eyes widened. He began to speak, and I read his lips, though I still couldn’t hear him over the buzzing. “No—that’s not—this isn’t my curse.”
I slowly spoke to make sure he registered every single word. “It doesn’t matter. We all have demons in our past, and the only way to move forward is to stop running. Someone wise told me that.”
Madden stared at me for so long I wasn’t sure he’d been able to read my lips like I hoped, then his gaze flicked back to the firebugs, all of them gaining speed, their flames seeming to grow bigger as they got closer.
He nodded, firm and assured. I wasn’t surprised, exactly.
Well, I was a little surprised. I thought of every single man who’d come before Madden.
None of them would have been willing to do this, to face a challenge like this head-on.
I grabbed his arm. “Wait,” I shouted in his ear. “We need a plan. How do you fight these things? Or is that what you need to do? I mean . . . I touched my dragon nightmare and it vanished when I remembered something, but you have your memories.”
Madden stared ahead as the swarm of firebugs lifted in the air. “I think I know what I have to do. I have to kill them.”
The words were just loud enough for me to hear, and I stilled. “And how do we do that?”
“I don’t know, Princess.”
I elbowed him, which made him laugh.
“Are you ever going to call me Sera?”
“Not the time,” he yelled.
I rolled my eyes and looked above us. Fire began to rain down, and Madden and I both leapt in opposite directions to avoid the onslaught of embers and burning ash.
I landed in the sand, rolling to my feet, and saw Madden do the same.
Only now we were separated by fire. So much fire.
The bugs hung in the air, smoke and flames wafting from them, a wall in between us. I barely saw his outline.
It’s not like we could use our fire magic on these bugs. Fire didn’t effect them. There was no water anywhere near here, and besides, we’d have to dig to find a water source. We’d be dead by then. Or, well, I wasn’t sure what would happen if the bugs set us on fire, but I did not want to find out.
This wasn’t my nightmare to face. Maybe I needed to let Madden take the lead on this one.
Madden’s face was now visible, and I realized he’d thrown sand over the bugs, snuffing out the fire. The weight of it pushed them to the ground and Madden crushed them with his boot. Of course. Sand was a natural deterrent for fire.
I ducked as a flame came my way, then scooped up a handful of sand and dumped it over a few of the bugs. Their flames died out and they fell to the ground. I stomped them out, but more swarmed forward, and I had to roll to the ground when my tunic caught on fire.
I thought I heard Madden call for me, but I didn’t want him distracted. I could take care of myself. He needed to focus on his problem, on this nightmare.
I didn’t even know other peoples’ nightmares could affect them in this curse.
More flames rained down, catching alight on my pants, my sleeves, my collar.
There were too many. The only parts of me that weren’t on fire were .
. . the parts covered in sand. I rolled quickly, coating my body in sand.
It got in my eyes, my ears, covered my face and filled my nail beds.
But it worked, putting out the fire, making the nightmares’ attack ineffective.
Now I just needed to fight back.
I stood, but I was no longer in the cursed land.
I blinked a few times at the bright world around me, sun shining over head in a blue sky.
I was running over sand dunes with a woman.
She was older. She looked like me with the same golden shade of blonde hair.
Except hers was streaked with gray. Her blue eyes twinkled, and every time she smiled, lines creased her face.
I had a feeling I’d traced those lines with my fingers many times.
She laughed and twirled, and I copied her movements.
Firebugs floated over us in the sky, but they didn’t attack.
We weren’t afraid of them. Little embers floated down and she held out her hand.
One fell into her palm and she blew on it, watching as it flew through the air.
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they, Seraphina?” she asked. “Look at them up there. Everyone is afraid of them, but the truth is, they just want a chance to shine, like everyone else. If you leave them alone, they won’t hurt you, and their fire won't burn.”
We danced underneath the firebugs as the sun sank in the sky, their flames growing brighter and brighter. I felt so free and happy. And loved.
Heat seared my arm, and I yelped in pain, looking down at as my forearm sizzled.
The woman's eyes crinkled, a frown replacing her smile. "Seraphina, darling, are you okay?"
Her voice grew distorted, and the world shifted. I squeezed my eyes closed, and when I opened them, I stood back in the cursed world.
The wind had blown sand off my arm, and fire had burned my skin, which now sizzled and blackened.
I grimaced, standing and dumping more sand on top of the fire bugs.
The woman had said they weren’t a threat, but at this point, we’d angered them and they weren’t just going to leave us alone.
Plus, that was my memory. Just because I’d danced under some firebugs, it didn’t mean that’s what Madden was supposed to do.
I continued to scoop up sand as fast I could, dumping it over the bugs, flames continuing to shoot out. Every time a rogue flame zoomed toward me, I rolled into the sand, re-coating myself.
Sweat rolled down my face, stinging my eyes. It soaked my clothes, and they stuck to my body. The heat from their flames was becoming unbearable. I didn’t know how much longer Madden and I could do this. He stood across from me, now clearly visible as he continued to dump sand and crush the bugs.
"I won't stop fighting," he yelled. "I will never stop fighting."
As if they'd heard him, the buzzing died down from the firebugs, and they began lifting in the air.
They were retreating. I bent over, breathing hard, hands on my knees, and when I stood, they were gone.
Madden had fallen to his knees, looking as tired as I felt. Sand crusted his brown hair, covered his face and clothes, and burn marks stretched over his hands and arms.
“We need to get cleaned up.” He nodded toward the burn on my arm. “And get you something for that.”
I took a deep breath and trudged through the sand toward him, dropping down to a seat. “Not until you explain what that was all about.”
Madden’s jaw locked.
“I almost got burned to death. I think I deserve some answers,” I said.
He sat next to me, bringing up his knees and hooking his arms around them.
“When I was ten years old, firebugs attacked my village. They descended on our homes, raining fire down on our livestocks, our crops, everything. My mother and father told me and my brothers to run and hide in our cellar, and we did. For a while all we heard was the buzzing, but then we heard the screams.”
Tears pricked my eyes.
“My two older brothers crawled out of the cellar, even when I begged them not to. I was frozen with fear. Soon I heard their screams too.”
“Madden.” I put my hand on his arm.
“I didn’t leave that cellar until there were no sounds left. No buzzing, no cries, no screams. I found ashes instead of bodies. Almost half my village was decimated, and I’d done nothing.”
“You were a boy.” My voice was rough, edged by tears and by the need to make Madden understand this wasn’t his fault.
That strong jaw tightened. “I should’ve done something.”
“Madden, you can’t blame yourself for this.” My eyes widened. “That’s why you had to kill the firebugs. Because you regret not helping to fight them back then.”
He nodded, and his head hung.
“Have you been all alone this entire time?”
He hesitated, and his knuckles whitened as he curled his hands into tight fists. “Have you ever heard of the Band of Mercenaries?”
I shook my head. “Well, maybe I have, when I had my memories, but I don’t recall the name.”
“They found me and offered me a deal. They’d provide me with food, shelter, protection, and in return, I work for them.”
My brows crinkled. “Work for them?”
“We got paid to complete missions for people around the continent. Find missing loved ones, fight off dangerous creatures, rescue those in trouble . . .” He trailed off. “Kill, if needed.”
I swallowed, wondering what he wasn’t telling me. What he said was the truth, but there was something missing, and I couldn’t figure out what.
Then again, Madden had divulged a lot of his past just now, and maybe I needed to be patient to learn the rest. It hit me that I wanted to know the rest. I wanted to know everything there was about this man, and I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. Scared, yes. But also hopeful, maybe?
“They’re my family now,” he said. “The mercenaries. They’ve been there for me through everything. They taught me to fight, taught me to be more than that scared boy hiding in the cellar.”
I shook my head. “That not who you were.”
He quirked a brow. “And how do you know that?”
“Because you’re more than just a fighter.
You’ve gotten me to face my nightmares, to remember things I never thought I’d remember.
Never thought I wanted to remember.” I shifted, aware of how our legs were now touching, how that barest graze sent a blaze through me that had nothing to do with my fire magic. “I think I had a mother.”
He barked out a laugh. “Of course you did.”
I elbowed him, which just made his grin widen.
“No, I mean. I remember her.” I thought of her dancing under the firebugs.
“I think she might’ve been the one who planted the seed in my head that these creatures everyone fears don’t have to be our enemies.
That we can live in harmony with them. I think she inspired me to befriend the dragons.
She loved me. We had fun together. And I loved her too. So much.”
Shadows crossed Madden’s face. “Princess, look—”
I raised a finger to his lips. “Don’t. You don’t have to tell me what happened to her, to my father. If I’m stuck here, cursed, then I assumed they were dead, and I’m not ready to hear about that yet.”
I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to remember their deaths, what happened to them. Especially not after that memory I’d experienced, that love I’d felt.
I realized my finger was still pressed against Madden’s lips and lowered it, looking away.
I wasn’t ready for this either. I might have liked Madden, found myself drawn to him, but I didn’t know that I could open myself up to anything more.
Not right now. “We should go get cleaned up,” I said, “and get some rest. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Madden stared at me for a minute like he wanted to say something, but thankfully, he just nodded and stood.
I didn’t know how I was going to sleep next to him tonight, how I was going to survive the rest of our journey together when every day felt like I might be falling for him, deeper and deeper, until exactly like a raging fire, he might consume me whole.