Chapter Twenty-Five
Elizabeth noticed something very odd about Mary. She spent a good deal of time not just speaking with Mr. Collins, but also speaking about Mr. Collins. The night prior, for example, she had come to Elizabeth’s room and announced, “I do not think him so very unhandsome, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth, genuinely confused, said, “Who is not unhandsome?’
“Why, Mr. Collins, of course.”
Elizabeth sat up straight in surprise. Cautiously, she replied, “I suppose he is not unhandsome.”
“Well, it is only that Kitty and Lydia think he is ugly, but I do not think so. What do you think?”
“We know better than to take anything Kitty and Lydia say seriously, Mary. And, for what it is worth, I do not think him ugly, exactly…” She had trailed off.
Mary had beamed. “Nor do I!” And with that, she had bounced out of the room. Yes, actually bounced!
And just now, at breakfast, Mary had looked up and blushed when Mr. Collins had taken the chair beside hers.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Mary was in love with Mr. Collins! Heavens! How had that happened? Why had that happened? And precisely when had that happened?
She was determined to put these questions to Mary as soon as possible, but the opportunity did not present itself until that evening. Elizabeth went to Mary’s room, where she found her sister scribbling furiously in her diary.
Mary looked up and said, “One moment, Lizzy, I just need to finish this thought before I lose it.”
Elizabeth sat herself on Mary’s bed and waited.
“I am all attention now, Lizzy.” Mary left her desk and sat beside Elizabeth on the bed.
“Mary, are you in love with Mr. Collins?”
Mary turned bright red and hid her face in her hands. “Oh, no! Is it obvious to everyone? How very mortifying!”
“I do not think it is obvious to everyone, no, though Jane would see it in a moment. Mary, tell me about it.”
Mary peeked between her fingers. “Tell you about it?” she repeated.
“Yes! What does it feel like? Come, Mary, sit beside me. It is likely that I shall never fall in love, so I must learn about it from other sources.”
Mary obeyed. Sitting on the bed beside her sister, she said, “Well, it’s like the world is suddenly a different place, and he is the center of it!
I wake up and my first thought is of him.
Will he sit beside me at breakfast? At tea, if it happens that our fingers touch while I am passing him his cup, my fingers feel as if they are sparkling, and a sort of shiver goes up my back!
But I do not know if he feels the same, Lizzy, and when I think of the possibility of him marrying elsewhere, or leaving without making me an offer, then the world goes dark and silent, and when I think about that, here alone at night, I sometimes weep.
Oh, this all sounds so crazy, does it not? ”
“Not crazy at all, Mary.” Elizabeth sighed. “I envy you!”
“Envy me? You envy me! But Lizzy, you are the one who is so beautiful, so charming, so very much admired by everyone!”
“That is kind of you, Mary – and truthfully, I think you have me rather confused with Jane – but I envy you for the good fortune of having experienced love!”
“Even if he does not love me back?” Mary whispered.
“Even so,” Elizabeth said. “But I think he does care for you, Mary, and I believe he will make you an offer.”
“Do you think so, Lizzy? Really? Oh, I would be the happiest girl in the world!”
“You would have a good deal to put up with, with that patroness of his,” Elizabeth said, smiling at her sister. “But, then again, you would someday have Mama’s bedroom!”
They laughed together.
But Mary was worried about her sister. She gave the situation a good deal of thought before putting quill to paper.
Dear Jane,
I know you are supposed to be finding a beau in London, and I certainly have no wish to delay or disrupt such a worthy endeavor, but something is very much amiss here at Longbourn.
I am certain that Lizzy has told you nothing of it, so it falls to me to do so.
Lizzy will be quite angry with me for doing so, but I believe it to be my duty.
Longbourn is failing. The harvest was poor, several tenants left, our accounts are in arrears and, of course, Papa has no savings.
Longbourn needs three thousand pounds as soon as possible.
We cannot ask Uncle Henry to help us, as Papa has already borrowed money from him, with no hope of paying it back.
As a result of all of the above, it has been decided that Lizzy is to marry our new neighbour, Mr. Bingley, and then he will be persuaded to set the family to rights by giving us the money that we need.
Lizzy is heartbroken, of course. I need not remind you that she, like you, always swore to marry only for love. Mr. Bingley is a very nice man, handsome and well-mannered, but Lizzy does not love him. She likes him well enough, she says, but no more than that.
Of course, it was immediately suggested that you be sent for, as Mr. Bingley was likely to fall in love with you at first sight, but Lizzy made Papa promise that you would be allowed to marry for love, even if she would not be so permitted.
You would not be happy, I think, to be kept in the dark as to events here, so I have taken it upon myself to betray Lizzy’s confidence in writing this letter. I pray, Jane, that I am doing the right thing!
Truly, if you are in love with someone, Lizzy would not wish in any way to come between you and the object of your affection! But if not, well, I hope that you can find it in your heart to return to help us here. If nothing else, having you to confide in would be of immense help to our poor Lizzy.
Please do not mention any of this to the Gardiners, as there is nothing to be gained by having Uncle feel badly about not giving us more money!
With love,
Mary