Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Romeo
Two fucking weeks and I still couldn’t get away to see Fiona.
The texting had slowed down, but only because we spent more time talking on the phone now.
Hours sometimes, late into the night when the clubhouse finally quieted and I could steal some privacy.
I loved the sound of her voice when she was tired and it softened, and the husky edge it had when she first woke up.
I loved hearing the frustration when I teased her because I could always tell when she was fighting a smile.
Then there were those breathy little gasps when I flirted with her and the genuine, unguarded laugh I could pull out of her when I turned the charm all the way up.
That laugh did things to me no woman’s laugh had any fucking business doing.
God, I missed her.
I’d been all over the damn clubhouse looking for King, checking the bar, meeting room, and even the kitchen where he sometimes disappeared when he needed to think.
I had to get out of here for a couple of days.
I needed to see Fiona before she started wondering if all my promises were just pretty words meant to keep her hanging on.
As I approached the room Chasm had been staying in, I heard his voice through the open door.
“She wasn’t meant for this life. She’s moved on.”
“No, she hasn’t,” I said, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed.
I knew exactly who he was talking about. Morgan Delany. The woman he’d left behind and apparently never stopped thinking about, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.
“What the hell would you know about it?” he snapped, whipping around to glare at me.
“I saw her last Christmas.”
Chasm stood slowly from the edge of the bed, his entire body going rigid. “What the fuck were you doing in Rosewood?”
“My cousin got married.”
“Sugar? Wasn’t she already married?”
“Nah, she killed that abusive bastard,” I said casually. “Another cousin got hitched. But I saw Morgan while I was there. At the reception, actually. She was wearing this blue dress, hair pulled back. Looked good.”
“Did you talk to her?” he asked.
The desperation beneath the gruff tone wasn’t nearly as hidden as he probably thought.
I shook my head, and something shifted across his face before he caught it.
King had been quiet since I walked in, standing near the window with his arms crossed, listening to every word.
He’d asked me to check on Morgan when I went to Rosewood last Christmas.
He knew damn well she hadn’t moved on, even if Chasm was too stubborn to believe it.
“Then how the fuck do you know anything?”
“I talked to her mama.” I smiled. “She’s the only one in Rosewood that knows anything about you.”
“Devlyn doesn’t know?” His voice cracked with the realization that Morgan had kept him a secret from her best friend. “Well, I’m not surprised. Morgan wasn’t meant for this life,” he repeated. “I’m sure her business keeps her busy.”
“What do you know about her business?” King asked, stepping away from the window. “I thought you hadn’t seen her?”
“I haven’t.”
Chasm answered too quickly, and the tightening of his jaw said there was more to it. He might not have seen Morgan, but the bastard knew what she was doing. How he knew was another question entirely.
Before either of us could push, Chasm shoved between us, his shoulder catching mine as he stormed down the hall.
“Tell Zombie I’m on my way,” he called over his shoulder, already heading downstairs.
King and I followed him outside.
“Romeo, Shotgun, Ace, Big Ben, and Archie, go with him,” King bellowed.
Son of a bitch.
“I don’t need fucking babysitters. I’ve done just fine on my own,” Chasm shouted without bothering to stop.
“You weren’t president then. And as your president, suck it up, buttercup.” King’s smirk only deepened Chasm’s scowl. He turned toward the clubhouse again and clapped me on the shoulder as he passed.
“You’re going with them. Keep an eye on his stupid ass.”
I dropped my chin to my chest and exhaled through my nose.
So much for Rosewood.
I pulled out my phone. My thumb hovered over Fiona’s name before I finally typed the message I’d been dreading.
Me: I can’t come to Rosewood yet, Cher. Club business has me tied up.
The three dots appeared almost immediately. That realization made sending it by text instead of calling feel like the coward’s way out, but I couldn’t stand the idea of hearing the disappointment in her voice when I was already pissed enough about causing it.
Ma Belle: Okay.
I stared at the single word. Fiona could say a hell of a lot with one word when she wanted to.
Me: Don’t do that.
Ma Belle: Do what?
Me: Give me one word when you have twenty sitting behind it.
The pause was longer this time.
Ma Belle: You have things to take care of. I understand.
I closed my eyes.
Of course she understood. Fiona had spent most of her life learning how to accept disappointment without asking anyone to rearrange their world for her. That didn’t mean I wanted to become one more person she practiced on.
Me: Understanding doesn’t mean you aren’t disappointed.
Another pause followed.
Ma Belle: I just thought I’d see you.
There it was. No accusation. No guilt. She’d simply wanted me there.
Me: I thought I’d be there by now.
Ma Belle: But you aren’t.
Me: No.
Ma Belle: That’s disappointing.
I rubbed a hand over my chest.
At least she wasn’t pretending anymore. I’d rather know I’d hurt her than have Fiona tuck it away somewhere because she thought protecting me from her feelings mattered more than letting me see them.
Me: I know. I’ll make it up to you.
Ma Belle: You always do.
Me: You’re letting me off too easy.
Ma Belle: You’re not as hard to forgive as you think.
I stared at the screen for a moment. She could forgive me and still be disappointed. The two weren’t mutually exclusive, and I wasn’t going to use the first to ignore the second.
Me: There’s plenty to say. You’re just trying not to make this harder for me.
Ma Belle: Would it change anything if I did?
Me: No. But I’d know you wanted me there.
Ma Belle: You already know that.
Me: I need to hear it anyway.
Ma Belle: I wanted you here.
Fuck.
Me: Fuck, Cher. I want to be there.
Ma Belle: I shouldn’t have assumed it would be soon.
Me: You didn’t assume. I told you I would come.
Ma Belle: It’s not your fault.
Me: Doesn’t mean I don’t hate disappointing you.
Ma Belle: I’m not angry.
Me: I’d almost rather you were.
Anger I understood. Anger came out swinging and gave a man something to push against.
Ma Belle: I’m just tired of missing you.
I read that twice.
Me: You think I don’t feel the same?
Ma Belle: Sometimes I don’t know what you feel.
That one landed deep inside my chest. For more than half a year, I’d been so damn careful about giving Fiona space that maybe I’d created too much of it. I knew exactly what I felt. She only knew what I let her see.
Me: Then let me make this one clear. I’m not staying away because I want to. I’m handling what I have to so nothing follows me when I finally come to you.
Ma Belle: When will that be?
Me: The first minute I can get free.
Ma Belle: Promise?
I stared at the question.
Me: Ma Belle, there is nothing in this world that could keep me from you forever.
Ma Belle: That wasn’t what I asked.
A laugh escaped me despite everything. My woman was fucking smart. She wasn’t letting me charm my way around the question.
Me: Yes. I promise.
Ma Belle: Okay.
Me: That one still sounds sad.
Ma Belle: It is.
Me: I’ll make it up to you.
Ma Belle: How?
Me: I’ll think of something.
Ma Belle: You’d better make it good.
Me: You’ll have my complete attention. That good enough?
Ma Belle: It’s a start.
I smiled down at the phone.
Another apology hovered at the edge of my thoughts, but I didn’t send it. She didn’t need another one. She didn’t need another paragraph explaining why I wasn’t there.
She needed me to eventually fucking show up.
I slid the phone into my pocket and headed downstairs.
Shotgun, Ace, Big Ben, and Archie were already outside checking their gear. Chasm stood beside his Harley, staring across the compound while his thoughts went wherever the hell they went when that distant look settled over him.
I climbed onto my bike and wrapped my hands around the grips.
For months, I’d convinced myself distance gave Fiona some kind of protection from the shit we were dealing with. Nebraska and Virginia were far enough apart that the violence surrounding the club couldn’t easily spill into her life.
After the attack, that reasoning didn’t comfort me the way it used to. Fiona was still in Virginia, still far away from everything happening here, still safe. But for the first time, all I could feel was the distance itself. I’d spent months treating those miles like they were protecting her.
Now they just felt like they were keeping me from her.
And now King was sending me in the opposite direction again.
I understood why. Chasm was stepping into a presidency while half his life was coming apart around him. Letting him take off alone while the rest of this shit remained unsettled would’ve been fucking stupid.
Understanding it didn’t mean I had to fucking like it.
I started the engine and felt the familiar vibration roll through me. Fiona’s last few messages were still sitting heavy in my head.
I wanted you here.
I’m just tired of missing you.
Sooner or later, I needed to stop asking that woman to trust that I’d eventually arrive and actually show the fuck up.
Ace pulled up beside me. “You ready for this shit?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
Ahead of us, Chasm was already rolling toward the gate.
I shook my head and put the bike in gear.
“Then let’s get this shit over with.”