Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
RONIN
SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
I’m standing outside in the pouring rain. Who does that? Me, apparently.
My umbrella shields the worst of the downpour, but I can still feel water soaking through my denim jeans as I stand in front of my grandparent’s bookstore, working up the courage to step through the door.
I was perfectly fine a moment ago, hyped up on a mix of adrenaline and nervous energy. But as soon as I spied Mellie through the window, all curled up in her favorite chair reading, my heart fell through my body, down into the drenched pavement. I’ve been stuck here ever since.
“Come on, Ronin. You came here with one thing to do, and you’re gonna walk in that store and you’re gonna fucking do it.
” My personal pep-talk does enough of its job to get me in motion, and I finally swing open the front door.
I stop to shake out my umbrella before closing it up and leaning it against the wall just inside the entrance.
Grandpa is behind the front counter and he glances up at the bell that gently rings out into the silence of the quiet shop.
He puts down the book he’s reading, pushing his glasses up to his hairline as he takes me in.
I’m sure my dripping, disheveled state is alarming to anyone with eyes, but Grandpa knows me better than anyone else, save perhaps Grandma.
“Hey there, Ro,” he says, concern etched into the lines of his forehead. “Everything okay?”
I glance over to where Mellie sits but she doesn’t appear to have noticed my arrival. Ducking behind the front desk, I sidle up next to my grandpa, discreetly placing myself where I know Mel can’t see me.
“Yep, totally fine, Grandpa.” I shove my hands into my pockets before remembering my wet jeans, and pull them out to lean on the desk. “Just wanted to stop by. Check in, you know. See how you’re doing today.”
Grandpa eyes me for a moment before declaring, “You’re full of shit, son.”
I choke back a laugh. “Language, Pops,” I retort. We hold each other’s stare for a heartbeat before each of us breaks, our low laughter echoing in the quiet room.
“Am I that obvious?” I concede, groaning.
“To me? Yes.” Grandpa nods toward the back of the store. “This have anything to do with that best friend of yours sitting back there?” His graying eyebrow lifts as he shoots me a knowing look.
I shake my head. “You know, that talent of yours is very annoying sometimes. I never get to have any secrets from you.”
“Blame your grandma. Learned everything I know from that woman, I tell you.”
Glancing once again in Mellie’s direction, I lower my voice. “I…I think I’m gonna ask Mellie out. On a date. With me,” I force out, the first time the words have been spoken aloud around another person besides my own reflection in the mirror.
“Ah, I should hope it was with you,” Grandpa replies with a snort. “Well, I’d say it’s about damn time, but then again, you’re only seventeen. Everyone’s timing is different.”
“What do you mean?” I turn around, leaning my back against the front desk.
Grandpa pauses, his gaze somewhere else. Another time, another couple on his mind. I’ve seen that look before, anytime he’s about to give me one of his love speeches about him and my grandmother.
“You and Mellie remind me a lot of me and your grandmother, you know,” Grandpa begins. “I met your grandma when I was young, around the age you are now. It was love at first sight for me, but your grandmother did not see things the way I did at the time.”
I smile, knowing what comes next. I’d grown up hearing both sides of their story and it never gets old.
“We spent years as nothing but friends. Hell, we each dated other people, but for me, it was always Nora.” His eyes take on a misty, faraway guise.
“She was such a firecracker back then. Still is, to this day.” He smirks at me before continuing, “Anyway, it took her getting engaged to some pompous ass to light a fire under my own. When I finally confessed my feelings to her, the first thing she said to me was, ‘Well, it’s about damn time, Julian. You almost made me marry some pig just to get your attention.’ Like her engagement was my fault! ” Grandpa chuckles once more.
“Are you implying that I shouldn’t wait for Mellie to be engaged before I finally tell her how I feel?” Shaking my head, the joke lands flat as the idea of her with someone else settles deep in my belly and churns.
“No, you idiot.” Grandpa sighs, but there’s a smile gracing his features. “It’s all about timing, that’s the point I’m getting at. So you’ve had a thing for Mellie since you were kids, right? That doesn’t mean it was the right moment to tell her you like her.”
Something on my face must change because Grandpa clears his throat.
“Or, love her, even. But you’ve taken the time now to get to know each other, to find the intimacy only true friendship can bring.
That relationship above all others should be cared for and nurtured.
All the romancey stuff?” Grandpa waves his hand as if to dismiss the notion.
“That all falls into place exactly when it should. For me, it was seeing your grandma almost settle down with someone who wasn’t me.
” He pokes my arm. “For you, who’s to say when that time will be?
Could be now. Could be five years from now. ”
I ponder his words, letting them settle into the moment of silence between us.
“Well on that note,” I finally say, pushing off from the desk and leaning down to give my grandfather a hug. “Wish me luck, then.”
Grandpa pats my arms before shooing me away. I walk around the perimeter of the store, circling to the back and coming up behind Mellie’s chair a few moments later. I take a deep breath before I speak.
“What are you reading?” My voice cuts through the silence.
Mellie jumps, looking up in alarm before her gaze settles on me and stills, softening.
“Oh, hey Ro.” She shifts in her chair, turning to face me while placing her book on her lap.
“Picked up Dracula again today. Guess the weather put me in the mood for something broody and gothic.” She clears her throat, glancing around the store as if coming out of a trance.
“Ah, cool.” I shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, silently cursing the rain again as I focus on my feet, scuffing a sneaker against the wood grain.
Now’s the time, buddy. If you’re gonna do it, now’s—
“What’s up?” Mellie asks, breaking the brief silence. “Were you looking for me?”
Another deep breath. In and out.
Lifting my chin, my gaze collides with her amber stare.
God, she’s so pretty.
“Yeah, actually, I was. Um, I was wondering what you’re up to this weekend. Have any plans yet? Are you—” I trip over my words. “Are you going to the bonfire on Saturday?” My pulse thuds so loudly, so violently, I’m sure Grandpa can hear my heartbeats from up front.
Mellie’s cheeks turn a rosy pink. She glances down at her hands before looking back up, not quite meeting my eyes this time. “Oh, um. Yes, I’m going. Actually…” She blushes a deeper shade. “I…have a date.”
“A…date?” My words echo hers, reverberating through my mind. A mind that is currently empty, all thoughts flooding out, washing away with the rain outside.
“Yeah, so Conrad actually asked if I wanted to go with him. To the bonfire.” Mellie clarifies. Her hands twist in her lap.
Is she nervous? Why would she be nervous? She’s not the one failing monumentally at life right now. She’s not the one about to sink through the floorboards, never to be seen again. I’ve never wished so hard for the ground to swallow me up as I am right this very second.
“Conrad? Your biology partner? That Conrad?”
“Yes, that Conrad,” Mellie replies, defensive. “What’s wrong with Conrad?”
“Nothing, I guess.” I blow the hair out of my face and sink back on my heels. “I just didn’t know you had a thing for him. That’s all.”
“He’s cute,” Mellie says in a quiet voice. My heart snaps in two, but she keeps going, oblivious to my pain. “He’s always nice to me, and lets me borrow his notes when I get confused in class. And, he smells good.” She finishes, finally glancing back up at me.
He smells good? Fuck me.
“Ah. Well, then, if he smells good…” The attempt at humor lands, and Mellie giggles before reaching out to slap at my arm.
“Stop it! Don’t make fun of me.” Mellie sits back, seeming more at ease.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I reply. I start to back away, hands still tucked away in my pockets. “Well, okay, I gotta go. I’ll see you later, Mel.”
Before she can get a chance to reply, I spin on my heel and beeline for the back exit.
I abandon my umbrella to save face in front of my grandpa.
On the outside, I’m composed, my face made of stone.
But inside—inside, I’m breaking apart into a million tiny pieces.
I finally get the nerve to act on my feelings and fucking Smell Good Conrad beat me to the punch.
I’m reminded of my grandfather’s story and I shake my head.
I’m not about to disrupt Mel’s date, not if she genuinely likes this guy.
So much for good timing.