Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
MELLIE
FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
I’m dying.
This is what it feels like to die. It has to be, because I cannot take another minute of this overwhelmingly horrifying pain. My lower abdomen feels like it is simultaneously on fire but also being stabbed by a hundred knives all at once.
This is womanhood, or so they say.
Womanhood can screw right off.
My first period came by surprise two days ago.
I’ve been expecting it for some time seeing as how I’m turning fifteen in five months and all the other girls my age already got theirs years ago.
Nothing prepared me for how awful it is, though.
None of my friends warned me about period cramps, the new bane of my existence. What a bunch of jerks, all of them.
Even as I think the words, my heart betrays me as it pulls at the memory of my best friend back home.
Home.
Not anymore. Ever since I moved to this loserville of a town, Sonia has barely talked to me. We used to keep up with emailing and phone calls, but it was always me initiating contact with her, so I’ve stopped trying.
Whatever. I don’t need her anyway. I’ve got Ronin now.
Ronin… The only good part about my parents dragging me across the country.
Another piercing cramp grips me and I scrunch up in my bed, holding my stomach tightly as the wave of pain crashes over me. Literally, what is this absolute hell?! I whimper in pain before the cramping recedes, and my body relaxes ever so slightly back into my mattress.
Three soft knocks tap on my bedroom door.
“Go away,” I yell weakly. A tear escapes down my cheek and drips onto the pillowcase under me. My hair falls across my face in a strawberry curtain, shielding me from whoever dares to talk to me right now.
“Mel?” A quiet voice calls through the closed door. “Can I come in?”
I grunt in reply, and Ronin must take that as a yes because he eases my door open, poking his head into my dark room. The only light comes from the TV flickering silently on my dresser, forgotten.
“Hey, Mel,” Ronin murmurs, coming to kneel beside my bed. “Are—Are you okay?”
“No. I’m dying,” I mumble into my pillow.
Cool fingers part the hair covering my face, softly stroking the strands away from my sticky cheeks.
“You’re not dying, Mel,” Ronin says, a shake in his voice that I can’t tell is from amusement or fear. Maybe a mix of both. I’m probably the most terrifying thing he’s ever seen right now.
I turn my face up, meeting his concerned gaze. His brow is pinched, those blue eyes swimming behind his black frames. For the first time in the last day, I take stock of my appearance, realizing I haven’t showered since yesterday and I’m still wearing my day-old pajamas. Great.
“You’re not dying,” Ronin repeats in a soft voice. “You’re going to be okay.” He pauses and grins. “I think.”
I try to swing a punch at his arm and miss. He chuckles and the sound is a balm to my aching body.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
A slight blush creeps up Ronin’s neck, pinking his cheeks.
“Um. I brought you some stuff. I thought you might need, like, something to help.” He clears his throat and averts his gaze.
Standing, he pulls a bag from the floor behind him and then perches on the edge of my bed.
I scoot over to make room and he slides further on, his long legs dangling over the edge.
Ronin dumps the contents of the bag onto my fluffy pink comforter and I sit up to get a better look. Brushing my tangled hair out of my face, I take in the spread of candy and the assortment of menstrual supplies my best friend has brought me. There’s even a DVD buried under there.
“Ronin, what is all of this?” I pick up a package of heating pads and drop it back onto the bed.
“I didn’t know what you’d like or what would help you feel better. You looked so miserable the other day and I just wanted to, like, help you feel better. I didn’t like the idea of you up here all alone, in pain or whatever. You are in pain, right? It…hurts?”
I nod. Ronin’s arrival distracted me from the cramps, but I grip my stomach as another one crests.
“I hope this is enough. I wasn’t sure what to get so I just got a little bit of everything?” His tone is unsure, his statements more like questions rather than explanations.
He hands me the box of heating pads. “I asked Grandma to help a little,” he admits.
“She said these should help with the cramps. And this is the brand that Antonia recommended for pain meds. It’s supposedly good for periods?
” He hands me a bottle of Midol before pushing a pile of junk food toward me.
“Here’s some of your favorite candy, and I got you a soda, in case you’re thirsty.
Oh! I also remembered the new Animal Collective CD came out, so I grabbed you a copy so you have something to listen to while you’re in bed.
” His voice trails off and he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, still not meeting my gaze.
“And this?” I giggle as I swipe up the DVD from under the pile of candy. “Twilight is supposed to make me feel better?”
Ronin laughs, rubbing his palm down his left cheek. “Yeah, I don’t know. It was with the new movies to rent at the market so I grabbed it.”
I survey everything spread across my blanket for a moment before looking up at Ronin. He finally lifts his head, blue stare connecting with mine.
An unfamiliar feeling spreads throughout my chest. This is the first time since coming to this town that I don’t…hate it. My anger begins to subside, making room for something new.
“Ronin, I don’t know what to say,” I start. “This is—”
“Too much? It’s too much, you can say it. Ugh!” Ronin runs both hands through his thick hair. “Stupid Twilight. Should have just left that at the store.”
“No, Ro. This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. It’s perfect. Thank you.” I reach for his hand. He lets me take it and I give it a squeeze. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
His face flushes again, but he squeezes my hand back. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too, Mel.” Ronin’s breath hitches and he doesn’t break eye contact, his gaze soft on my face.
“And, I know exactly what will make me feel better right now.” I hold up the movie, a smile playing on my lips. “You wanna make fun of sparkly vampires with me?”