Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
MELLIE
It’s astounding how your life can change in the blink of an eye. One minute you’re finding yourself falling in love with your hometown, building a life that you weren’t sure you’d ever want.
Happy.
Next, you’re searching for cheap apartments in LA. For the second time.
I snap my laptop closed, blowing out a huff of air. I’m not doing this again. I won’t take the job. LA is the last place on earth I want to move back to.
I’ve changed my mind dozens of times since telling Ronin about Jack’s offer. She’s been generous enough to allow me more time to think it over, and I’m utilizing that grace period. I can’t seem to settle on a decision one way or the other.
How can I even think about leaving Ronin?
Leaving The Reading Nook, and all of my friends here?
My family? It starts to feel like too much every time I consider all of the possibilities, and my brain goes into anxiety-driven panic mode.
It shuts off, buries its head in the sand like the cowardly ostrich it is, and ignores making a decision for another minute, another hour. But I’m running out of time.
I text the group chat, desperate for some best friend therapy.
Emergency wine party?
Bree
uh oh
Brooklyn
We’ll be right over
Sydney
omw bestie. need snacks? of course we need snacks. be there in twenty.
My heart swells. This is why I can’t leave.
What would I do without my best friends?
These women are my sisters, and I can’t imagine going through life without being able to call an emergency bestie meeting whenever I need them.
I swipe over to my text thread with Catalina and invite her over as well.
I’m going to need the full force of my support group for this one.
Bree and Brooklyn are first to show up, a noisy clatter of bottles and voices filling my dining room as they set out the variety of wine they brought with them.
“We weren’t sure how desperate this meeting was, so we brought some of everything. Red, white, rosé—you name it, we got it.” Bree heads into my kitchen to grab glasses, setting them on the table. “What can I get ya, Mellie?”
“A glass of red, please,” I reply, sinking into a chair at the table.
By the time Sydney and Cat arrive, I’ve already downed one glass and have started on my second.
We gather around the table, each of us with a drink, before Sydney breaks the silence. “So, I’m guessing you finally told Ronin about the job offer?”
Bree’s head whips in my direction. “What job offer and why am I just now hearing about it?!”
I grimace. “In my defense, I didn’t actually tell her. Syd was with me when it happened, and I haven’t even discussed it with her yet either. I’ve been hiding at home having an internal breakdown over it.” I sip my drink. “But yes, I told Ronin.”
“So what’s the job?” Brooklyn asks, leaning back in her chair with an arm slung across the back of Bree’s.
“It’s actually pretty perfect, you guys.
” I fiddle with the little charm hanging from the stem of my wineglass before meeting their waiting faces.
“Writing for a new show set in a small town. It’s practically made for me.
It’s the exact job that I spent all that time in LA waiting for, and now it’s fallen into my lap when I least expected it. ”
When I least want it.
“Aw, Mellie,” Bree says softly, reaching over to grab my free hand. “You’ve worked so hard for an opportunity like this, and if you ask me, nobody deserves it more. But, I have to ask. Is this what you even want anymore?”
Cat hasn’t said anything yet, and I search her face, gauging her reaction. She gives me a small smile. “Evan and I would miss you terribly if you go, Mellie, but you know we support you, no matter what you decide.”
“Thank you, Cat.” My heart feels heavy at the thought of leaving my little brother again. During one of the most important times of his life, too. What kind of sister does that?
“I guess I just feel conflicted because, yes, I did work hard for this, but I’ve felt so connected here in Blue Fields.
I’m happy at the store, I’m happy being with my family and all of you.
And I’m so, so happy with Ronin, and I’m terrified of changing that.
Of messing things up between us yet again, over almost the exact same thing. ”
The table is silent for a few moments as my words sink in.
“What does Ronin think about all of this?” Sydney asks, sipping from her glass of rosé.
“That’s the thing. He thinks I should consider it, like seriously consider it.
” I can still see the expression on his face.
Trying to be strong for me, but I know him.
I saw right through that, down into the depths of him, and how much it will destroy him again if I leave.
I shake my head. “I just can’t justify doing that to him again. Can I?”
“Look, Mellie,” Bree starts. “None of us here can tell you what you should do. But this is not the same situation as it was last time. You’re not leaving anyone behind if you decide to do this for yourself.
You hear me, right?” Her usual carefree demeanor has been replaced with a seriousness befitting the situation.
“We all love you, and support you no matter what you do. And Ronin is right, as usual. This is a huge opportunity to do something you’ve dreamed about for years!
You owe it to yourself to explore every inch of this.
Figure out if it’s still what you want, deep in here. ” She pats her heart for emphasis.
“Is there any way you could work remotely?” Brooklyn asks, ever the logical, pragmatic one among us.
“No, not entry level like this. Jack made it clear I’d need to be in office, at least to start. And that could be for months, or longer. I’d have no way of knowing.”
“When do you need to let her know?” Sydney asks.
“The end of the week. They’d want me there soon to get acclimated and meet the rest of the team.” I look at Cat. “I’ve already made sure with Jack that I’m clear to come back for the wedding, though. I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”
Cat smiles, a bit of tension easing and softening her face. “Thank you for thinking of us, Mellie.”
“Of course. Can’t miss my little brother getting hitched.” I let out a deep breath. “So, I guess I’m considering it?”
My heart rate picks up immediately, the anticipation of a new job, writing in an actual writer’s room, working on a real-life show—all of it causing my skin to tingle and my blood to pound in my ears. I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about doing this.
The vision of my book on display at The Reading Nook tugs at the back of my mind, but I shove it down for the moment. My stomach twists at the thought of giving up one dream to pursue another.
“There’s a ton to think about if I accept,” I add.
“The Nook, for one. I can’t leave Nora in a lurch, even if we’re almost out of the busy season.
And figuring out how to make a long-distance relationship actually work.
” I shake my head. “I don’t know! This all sort of makes me feel like puking, if I’m being honest.”
My friends laugh. The feeling of anxiety that had burrowed deep in my chest lessens, the tight feeling giving way to one that scares me even more, while at the same time sends a thrill through my body.
That I can have this dream job, and still have Ronin and my friends.
It seems like too much to ask for, but a girl can dream.