Chapter 8 #3
But then Lila sets her cup down, and she looks at me, and her warmth goes serious in a way that makes me pay attention.
“I do have to tell you the real part, Hallie. The part that isn’t funny.
There’s no taking this back. When you take his bare hand, that’s it, you’re his, forever, no divorce, no undo.
The bond is for life. If you left him after, it would, it would kill him.
Literally. There’s no divorce amongst the Xylan.
When you choose to take his bare hand, you have to be at a point where you can see yourself staying with him for basically the rest of your life.
You can’t test things out and date Rook, like we would on New Earth, and then break up with him when things turn wrong.
This is a biological thing where he would be physically tied to you for the rest of his life.
So for all of us, we didn’t clasp hands until we were sure.
Sure that we wanted to be with that male for forever and have his babies immediately, because the mating ritual is for breeding in their species and you will get pregnant right away. ”
The courtyard is quiet.
“And none of us were tricked into any of this,” Naomi adds. “I walked into mine with my eyes wide open. And I would do it again tomorrow.”
“Same,” says Jana.
“Same,” says Roxy.
“Every one of us,” Lila continues. “Gladly. Knowing everything.” She reaches over and squeezes my gloved hand.
“It’s not a trap. It’s the best choice I ever made.
Because you need to remember, you’ll never have to worry that he’s cheating on you.
Xylan physically can’t cheat. He’s imprinted upon you and will only have sex with you, for the rest of his life.
I consider that a lot of responsibility that I’m taking on for that male, being considerate of that.
It’s a lot and not for everyone, so I just needed you to know it’s a choice.
A real one. Yours. Even though he said he can scent you ahead of the clasping, knowing it will prove real, this does not mean that you have to do this.
You can leave at any time, and not do this with him.
You have choices. When everything dies down and it’s safe again and you realize you and Rook actually aren’t that compatible and you still want to pursue that dream of opening your own business on New Earth, you do that. ”
“Or,” Leah cuts in, “If, on the other hand, you can see yourself living this life, staying here with us, with Rook and starting a family, then you clasp hands with him. It is a big life choice though, deciding not only the mating for life angle, but also living here on Timbur, so far away from New Earth and everything you’ve known.
You’d have to always live here, he can’t ever change jobs and move with you to live somewhere else.
So, it’s totally fine to take your time with this.
And either choice you make, no one will judge you or think badly of you.
There is literally no pressure, just do what feels right for you. ”
“Follow your heart,” Jana agrees.
I look down at my gloved hand near hers and think about a different gloved hand drifting across a chessboard toward mine, and stopping, a breath away.
“Speaking of which.” Ines sets down her cup, and the register of the courtyard shifts, the wine-warmth folding into something more focused.
She’s been working directly with Scar, and when she talks about it the journalist tone comes back into her voice, precise and careful.
“I have an update on the whole reason why Hallie is here. Well, not really an update, nothing’s broken open, but the trail is warming. ”
I sit up.
“Grytel’s people came back to us with new info.
The factor you named, Hallie, the one inside House Vaszneth, he’s real.
Confirmed and still active on Chronos, in position, doing exactly what you said he was doing.
Which means Grytel is taking this more seriously and it means we know where to point.
It also means the House doesn’t know yet that we know.
That’s our advantage and we’re keeping it. ”
“And Grytel’s actually helping,” Roxy says, half a question, the scientist in her never quite trusting a variable that flipped sign.
“Grytel’s actually helping,” Ines confirms. “Which is its own kind of strange, trusting a male I know all of you and the crew spent rotations certain was the villain. But his information’s been clean so far. He wants the same thing we do, he just wants it for his own reasons.”
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” Jana quips.
“Yep.”
“What about the transporter station?” I question. “To me, that’s the most worrying part. I came through there, which means they know I’m here.”
“Unresolved,” Ines says. “Somebody was asking after a human arrival at the transporter station. We don’t know who, we don’t know who sent them, and it hasn’t happened again.”
“Ugh. This is my fault,” I hear myself say. “All of it. I walked in your front door with this whole thing strapped to my back and I handed it to all of you and now there’s someone asking questions at a station because of me—”
“Stop.” Ines says it flat, and she leans across the table, and her dark eyes are fierce.
“Stop right there. I was chasing this story before you ever showed up. This was mine before it was yours. Every woman at this table chose this fight when she clasped a Fever Brother, because their enemy is our enemy now.” She holds my gaze.
“You didn’t bring this down on us. You brought us the map on how to fight back. That’s a gift.”
“She’s right,” Lila says.
“It’s our fight too,” Naomi tells me. “We chose it. You’re not standing in this alone.”
“Thank you,” I say with a watery smile. “Thank you.”
Roxy stands and stretches, and on her way past my chair she stops, and rests a hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad it was our door you knocked on,” she says, simple as that.