Chapter Eighteen
SELWIN
There’s a warm, hard body pressed against mine, spooning me possessively. I’m so blissfully content that I don’t want to move but reluctantly, I open my eyes. It’s not a dream, because when I blink and look around, I notice the details of the room.
It’s not mine.
I look down, spotting the freckled arm that’s clutching my waist—and that I’m clutching onto in return—and everything about last night comes rushing back.
Me showing up at Finn’s unannounced.
Kissing him, coming with him, sleeping in his bed... So much for taking it slow.
Last night was surreal in the best way.
Today is real in the worst way.
Guilt and anxiety washes over me. What happens now?
I don’t want to leave Finn, or his bed, but we need to figure out what the hell we’re doing.
It’s just sex, so I shouldn’t be panicking, but what if Finn wakes up and freaks out?
What if he says we made a mistake? What if last night was the only night I get to spend with him?
My stomach clenches and I worry my lower lip. There’s so much at stake here.
Which is why you told Finn it wasn’t smart to do this, remember?
Not smart, but necessary. I didn’t lie when I said I couldn’t stay away from him.
Christ, it was so hot when Finn and I came together.
More than that. Most of my hookups are eager to fuck because of what I do, not who I am.
But not Finn. He sees me, as me. And when he came undone, I couldn’t stop staring into his eyes.
I was a goner too. Fuck, that hand job was the hottest, most intimate sex I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot.
Well, you did call him sweetheart.
That was just the heat of the moment. I think. Yes, that’s all it was.
Bullshit.
I’m afraid there’s more than lust going on here and I’m not sure I know what to do about it.
About that, and the reality that I was Finn’s first. Accepting that he’s into guys is one thing, embracing his queerness is another.
He’s going to need time to deal with this.
Or maybe he’ll want to forget it ever happened.
Then I remember that Finn doesn’t do casual.
He wouldn’t have invited me in if he didn’t want this.
Us. What are we anyway? Friends who fuck?
Rationally, that works, even if my gut tells me I’m a liar.
This is all it can be. Anything else is…
“Mmm.” Finn grunts softly in my ear and pulls away.
Damn, I don’t like the separation between us.
It’s ironic because when I sleep with someone, it’s about getting off and getting gone, not cuddling all night.
I didn’t expect to feel any different this morning, but I do.
I turn over to find Finn stretched out on his back, one hand tucked under his head, the sheet barely covering his hips, exposing V-lines that I desperately want to explore with my tongue.
His auburn hair is a sexy mess, his face relaxed, and then he blinks and…
shit, those slumberous golden eyes stare back at me.
I don’t see panic or any sign he’s ready to bolt, but you never know.
“Are you okay?” he asks me quietly.
Shouldn’t that be my line?
I nod, taking in the sight of him.
Finn lets out a slow, sinful smile, and of course the twin dimples I’m fucking obsessed with. The sight kickstarts my heart and my dick. Fuck, I want to ravage every inch of him. I offer a smile in return, and he leans over to claim my lips, neither of us giving a shit about morning breath.
“Yes.”
“Sel.”
Finn rolls on top of me, pining me against the mattress, and the bold move drives me wild. He teases me, nipping my lower lip and easing the pain with this tongue.
“Finn,” I moan. “Don’t stop.”
Both our cocks are so damn hard, and his body covering mine is exactly what I need.
Last night wasn’t the end.
I clutch Finn’s hair, kissing him deeper, sucking on his tongue, reveling in his moans.
“Sel,” he whispers as he kisses my stubbled cheek, trailing a path down my neck, licking and teasing the skin below my ear, my hot spot.
“Yes,” I groan and shudder, my climax racing closer to the edge. “Oh fuck.”
Christ, I have the control of a twenty-year-old…
“Too good. I need… I need—” I pant.
You.
Finn continues to kiss his way down my chest, licking and teasing my nipples. I’m encouraging him, holding tight to his hair, when he gently scrapes his teeth over my nipple, causing ripples of pleasure.
I can’t hold back. “Shit, I’m gonna come.”
This orgasm’s going to wreck me.
This orgasm, this man…
“I want to see, feel it,” he murmurs in a gruff voice. “It’s all for me. I can’t believe it, but it’s all for me, isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” I chant.
Finn doesn’t hold back, taking my mouth in a rough kiss that makes me whimper.
I cup his jaw, bringing him in as close as we can get.
I’m sweating and shaking, drowning, dying and coming back to life all at once.
It’s too much for me to handle. My balls pull up tight and my cock jerks as I spill hot cum over his abs, and his stiff dick.
“You are so fucking sexy,” Finn groans as he pumps his hips against mine, rubbing his dick into my cum. “Sel!”
He shoots his load, soaking me with ropes of cum as we rut together, unable to stop. I don’t let go, transfixed by the flush on his face and the way those incredible eyes survey mine.
I’ve never been wrecked by sex before and I’m in way over my head.
Man, am I ever.
“Frotting… is so hot, but next time… I want to fuck you,” Finn pants, his face flushing darker. “I mean, if that’s something you want. I shouldn’t assume. Sorry.”
He hides his beautiful, bashful face in the crook of my neck, and I smile against his hair.
“I’m vers and I definitely want,” I reassure him and kiss his head.
Finn raises his head and offers a wicked grin.
“I’ve only slept with one person, but I have very good instincts.” He pauses. “But I might need you to guide me. I don’t want to hurt you or—”
“You wouldn’t. I know you, Finn, and I know it’s going to be amazing.”
My cock is getting hard again imagining that scenario.
“You want me to manhandle you, don’t you?” he teases.
This time it’s my turn to blush, and Finn catches it, offering me a wink. Occasionally I like to let go and let my partner take control. Something I rarely do in my day-to-day life. There’s nothing like the euphoria of being pounded into oblivion by a hard cock.
“You’re a hockey player, so I know you like to play rough.” Finn kisses me. “Always being on guard on the ice probably means you need the opposite when it comes to sex.”
How the hell does he know that? My mouth drops open, and Finn gives me a knowing look. The way he can read me is unreal and kind of freaky.
“You want me to pin you to the mattress and fuck you hard,” he whispers. “Make you mine?”
The flush spreads down my body and I shiver, my dick now fully erect from Finn’s suggestion. Sweet Finn is sexy and vocal and it’s my total undoing.
I’m just about to confirm his question when I hear an alarm ping. Damn interruption.
“That’s me,” Finn states and rolls off me to reach for the nightstand. “Ack, I almost forgot about practice. We gotta get up and eat.”
The mention of work has my cock deflating in record time.
“Ngh.”
I rub a frustrated hand over my face.
“Come on.” He turns over and swats my hip. “Shower, breakfast, rink. Let’s go, old timer. Move it.”
“I’m only twenty-eight, so knock it off with the old-timer shit,” I say with a smile. “I never suspected you were this bossy.”
There are many layers to Finn Baran, more than I first thought. And I think—no, I know—I’m in a situation where I don’t know any of the rules.
“You bring it out in me,” he replies with a wink. “I should be nervous. Honestly, I thought I would be, but waking up with you feels like the most natural thing in the world.”
I swallow hard at his statement. Finn slowly climbs out of bed, and I savor the view, taking in his long, taut body, and the golden freckles that kiss every inch of his skin, including his round, luscious ass.
I want to take my time and taste all of them.
He turns around and I spot the cum drying on his belly—his and mine—and I want to say fuck it, get back in bed.
I’m about to tell him just that when I look up and catch his naughty grin.
“There’s a lot about me you still don’t know,” he admits. “I’m sure the reverse is also true.”
I finally slip out of bed and walk around to stand in front of him, my hands sliding to his hips.
“Then I guess we both have a lot to learn.”
Finn nods. “If you want to continue this?”
My reply is interrupted by a loud buzzing sound. I recognize it immediately.
“That’s mine.” I reluctantly let go of Finn, grab my pants from the floor, pull out my phone, and silence it. “I guess you’re right, we better get moving.”
“Yep. But that means no flirting, sexy glances, or kissing. Especially no kissing,” Finn calls out over his shoulder as he heads to the bathroom. I’m fixated on his tight ass flexing and I’m totally distracted. “And no shared shower!”
Damn. He’s stricter than most refs.
“Okay, I’ll go make breakfast.”
He stops and turns around. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Shut it and get in the shower,” I quip.
“Look who’s the bossy shit now?” he chuckles and closes the bathroom door.
I wander out of the bedroom to the kitchen, grab paper towel and soap, and quickly wash up. It’s only after I finish cleaning myself that I realize his blinds are open.
Jesus Christ, where’s your head today?
I jog back into the bedroom, throw on my pants, and then return to the kitchen to raid his fridge and cupboards.
Finn’s got a ton of food in this place, but finding what I need quickly is challenging.
Things aren’t labeled or sorted in any kind of order, and I’m reminded of his messy stall at the rink.
I bite back a laugh at Finn’s chaotic tendencies.