Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Noah woke first the following morning. Beside him, Luke lay fast asleep, his features relaxed and peaceful. The steady rise and fall of his chest was hypnotically soothing, creating a moment of perfect contentment Noah hadn’t experienced in a long time. His body ached in ways he’d never experienced before, caused by acts he prayed they’d find a way to repeat again. Often.
In that quiet moment, Noah allowed himself to appreciate the warmth of Luke’s body next to his, the peaceful expression on Luke’s face, and the familiarity of his presence. Their evening together had been magical in ways Noah couldn’t fully articulate. It had transcended physical intimacy, creating a deeper emotional connection that left him both exhilarated and slightly uncertain. It scared the hell out of him.
Noah watched Luke sleep, his mind drifting back to the night before. The way Luke had touched him, the intensity of their shared gazes, and the incredible bond they had formed made Noah feel alive in a way he hadn’t known was possible. It was as if every piece of his life were falling into place, but with that came an undercurrent of fear—the fear of losing what he’d only just found. The fear that his son wouldn’t always be as accepting as he had been so far. That the world around them would create issues they couldn’t overcome.
He shifted slightly, careful not to wake Luke, and reached for his phone on the nightstand. Noah knew he would need to wake Luke soon. They both had a long day of work ahead of them, and he assumed Luke needed to run home for his work clothes.
Noah took a deep breath, steeling himself. He knew his fears and doubts were natural, a part of embracing something new and potentially life-changing. But he also knew he couldn’t let anxiety control him. He had to trust in the connection he and Luke shared and the love growing between them.
Noah quietly slipped out of bed, leaving Luke to sleep a little longer. He tiptoed out of the bedroom and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. The early morning sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow over the familiar space. There was still plenty of work to be done, but Luke no longer dreaded having to spend time in the room. He started the coffee maker, the comforting aroma filling the air as he prepared breakfast.
As the coffee brewed, Noah leaned against the counter, reflecting on the profound connection he and Luke had shared the night before. The way Luke had made him feel—physically and emotionally—had exceeded anything he had ever experienced. He found himself smiling at the memories.
He had no idea what the future held, but now that Eli knew they were dating, he hoped they’d eventually reach a point where he felt comfortable with Luke spending the night. It wasn’t hard to imagine the three of them enjoying lazy weekend mornings together.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs broke through his thoughts. Luke appeared in the kitchen doorway, his hair tousled from sleep and a soft smile on his face.
“Morning,” Luke said, his voice still rough with sleep.
“Morning,” Noah replied, feeling a flutter in his stomach at the sight of Luke. “Coffee’s almost ready.”
Luke crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Noah from behind, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “You should have gotten me up before you came down. What’s on the agenda for today?”
Noah turned in Luke’s arms, leaning in for a gentle kiss before answering. “I have a staff meeting after school, so I’ll be a bit later than usual. Rachel is usually on deck to pick him up if we run long, but I need to confirm that with her.”
Luke’s arms tightened around Noah. “How about I pick him up instead? I’ll be in the area after finishing a job nearby, and it would save Rachel the trip. I’m sure she’ll be ready for a nap after having the kids over last night.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure she knew what she was getting herself into.” Noah felt a mix of gratitude and a slight pang of concern. “That would be great, thank you. But are you sure? I don’t want to impose on you.”
Luke smiled, his thumb brushing gently against Noah’s cheek. “It’s not an imposition at all. I love spending time with Eli, and it’ll give us a chance to work on his fielding. He’s nervous about coach-pitch this summer.”
God, Noah loved how Luke had integrated himself into their lives, helping Eli with baseball like it was his pleasure. While Noah had looked forward to the idea of playing catch in the backyard with his son like so many did, the reality was he wasn’t a sports person. At all. There was a reason he’d turned into a total bookworm in middle school.
“Thank you,” Noah said, feeling a wave of warmth at Luke’s willingness to help. “That would be really helpful.”
They stood there for a moment, lost in each other’s gaze, before the sound of the front door opening broke the spell.
“Dad! I’m back!” Eli’s voice echoed through the house as he entered, his excitement palpable. He came to an abrupt halt as he entered the kitchen. Luke there before school wasn’t something that happened other than the days following the storm when he was there as soon as Noah woke up, trying to get the house back in order for them.
Eli threw himself into Luke’s arms. “Luke! I didn’t know you were coming over this morning!”
Rachel mouthed I’m sorry as she entered the kitchen. “Someone said he needed to see you before school. I tried to give you a heads-up, but you didn’t answer your phone.”
Crap. Noah’s phone was still sitting on the bathroom counter upstairs. “Thanks for trying.” He turned to Eli, arms open, when Luke put him back on the floor. “Hey, buddy! Did you have a good night with Aunt Rachel?”
“We had so much fun even though Aunt Megan said Livy and Emma couldn’t spend the night. We watched a movie after dinner and made ice cream sundaes. She even had whipped cream and sprinkles to put on top! And this morning, she made me pancakes with even more sprinkles!” That explained the fact that he was talking a thousand miles a minute.
Eli’s excited chatter filled the kitchen as he recounted his sleepover adventures. Noah listened, smiling at his son’s enthusiasm while also feeling a twinge of anxiety. The domesticity of the scene—Luke making breakfast, Eli chattering, Rachel watching them with a warm smile—felt almost too good to be true.
Noah chuckled, ruffling Eli’s hair. “Sounds like you had quite the night.”
“It was awesome!” Eli turned to Luke. “Can we watch a movie tonight too? And maybe have ice cream again? Or maybe you could bring cookies again.”
Luke laughed, glancing at Noah with a knowing smile. “I think we can arrange that. But first, you need to get ready for school, buddy.”
Somehow, Noah had completely missed the fact that Eli was still in his pajamas. Probably because he was rarely dressed for school when they first saw each other in the morning.
Eli’s excitement dimmed slightly, but he nodded. “Okay. But it’d be better if I could go to school in my jammies. Sometimes, they let us.”
“Today’s not a theme day, buddy.” Noah nodded toward the stairs, and Eli bounded out of the room.
As Eli dashed upstairs, Rachel stepped closer to Noah and Luke. “I’m glad you both had a good night,” she said, her voice low. “Eli couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was for your date.”
“Thanks, Rachel. We had a great time.”
Rachel’s expression softened. “I can see that. Now, don’t do anything to screw it up.”
Noah nodded, appreciating her understanding. “That’s the plan.”
Eli bounded back down the stairs, his backpack in hand. “Ready, Dad!”
Noah checked his watch. Luke handed him a wrapped breakfast sandwich. He gave Luke a quick peck on the lips, earning him an awwww from his sister. “All right, let’s get going. We don’t want to be late.”
Luke walked them to the door, giving Eli a high-five. “Have a great day at school, buddy. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Eli beamed up at Luke. “Okay! Bye, Uncle Luke!”
As they drove to school, Eli chattered excitedly about his plans for the day. Noah listened, a smile on his face, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had settled in his stomach. This morning had been almost perfect. Too perfect. He wanted Luke there with them every morning now, but that might send Eli the wrong message. There was no handbook for this sort of thing.
“Dad?” Eli’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Did you have a good time on your date with Uncle Luke?” Eli asked, his eyes wide with curiosity.
Noah hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I did. We had a really nice time together.”
He tugged at his collar. It suddenly felt hotter in the car as Noah remembered the nice time they’d had. And once more in the middle of the night. But he couldn’t let himself think about that when his son was right behind him.
Eli grinned. “That’s good. I like Uncle Luke. He’s nice and fun, and he helps me with my baseball stuff. I think you two should go on more dates.”
Noah’s heart swelled with love for his son, but the doubt lingered. “I’m glad you think so, buddy. We’ll have to see what happens. Sometimes, grown-ups have to think about other things too. Like making sure we’re doing what’s best for everyone, including you.”
Eli seemed to ponder this for a moment. “But Uncle Luke makes you smile a lot. And he helps me with stuff. Isn’t that good for everyone?”
Noah felt a lump form in his throat. Eli’s simple logic made it all sound so easy, but Noah knew it was far more complex. “It is, buddy. But sometimes, we have to be careful to make sure everyone’s happy and safe.”
Eli nodded, seeming to accept this explanation. “Okay. But I still think you and Uncle Luke should go on more dates. You both look really happy when you’re together.”
Noah pulled into the school parking lot, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions. As they walked toward the school entrance, Noah couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. He glanced around and spotted Jimmy Crowley leaning against his car, a smirk on his face.
Noah’s stomach churned as Jimmy approached them. “Morning, Thompson. Heard you had quite the party at your place last night.”
Noah tensed, feeling put on the spot. “Oh?”
Jimmy’s smirk widened. “Yeah. Heard you and Luke Garrett went to dinner and then got distracted when you were going into your house.”
Noah’s face heated, and he felt a rising tide of anger and embarrassment. “Luke is a good friend, yes.”
Jimmy chuckled, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Sure, sure. Just make sure you’re not causing any small-town scandals, huh? We all know how people talk around here.”
Noah’s heart pounded as Jimmy walked away, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. The doubt that had been simmering beneath the surface now boiled over, threatening to consume him. He dreaded the thought of Eli being caught in the crossfire of small-town gossip.
As Noah watched Eli enter the school, his mind raced with thoughts of what Jimmy had said and the implications of their budding relationship. He worried about the potential fallout and how it might affect Eli. The weight of responsibility pressed heavily on his shoulders, and he found himself questioning whether he was making the right decisions for both himself and his son.
The drive to the high school was a blur of conflicting emotions and thoughts. Noah’s heart ached with the uncertainty of it all, and he found himself yearning for the simplicity of the previous night when everything had felt so right and pure. It sucked so much that assholes like Jimmy Crowley could hold something like falling in love over his head. And it was beyond fucked up that Jimmy’s words weren’t simply empty threats. If the wrong person caught wind of him and Luke being together, they could raise enough hell to get him fired.
You’re being ridiculous. Maybe years ago, but…
Noah’s stomach churned when he realized he had no idea if Maple Hill was ready for an openly gay teacher. He’d assumed he wasn’t the only one, but the more he thought about it, he hadn’t heard of any other out teachers.
When Noah’s head was still a mess as they were dismissed from the staff meeting after school, he realized he needed someone to talk to, someone who could help him make sense of the chaos in his mind. He reached for his phone and dialed Jenna’s number, hoping she could provide reassurance and guidance. He needed her to tell him he wasn’t an awful, selfish father for wanting to have more in his life than Eli.
“Hey, Noah,” Jenna answered, her voice warm and comforting. Noah heard voices in the background. He glanced at the clock on his dashboard and did the mental math. It was only two in the afternoon out west, which meant Jenna was still at work. Probably out in the field. And yet she hadn’t sent him to voicemail, likely assuming he was calling about their son because it was absurd to think he’d be calling about his romantic angst.
“Hey,” Noah said, his voice heavy with emotion. “Do you have a minute? I can call back if this isn’t a good time.”
“Of course,” Jenna replied. “What’s going on? Is everything okay with Eli?”
Noah took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “Yeah. Sorry, I should have started with that. He’s doing great. Had a sleepover with Rachel last night and came home hopped up on sugar. I just… I need to talk about Luke and Eli and everything that’s been happening. I’m feeling really conflicted, and you’re the only person who knows what’s going on who won’t tell me I’m being foolish if my concerns are valid.”
“Well, that sounds ominous. Okay, tell me what’s been going on,” Jenna said, her voice filled with concern.
Noah recounted the events of last night and this morning, from the encounter with Jimmy to Eli’s innocent excitement about his date with Luke. He expressed his fears about involving Luke so deeply in their lives and the potential risks and complications that came with it. He stopped short of admitting to his ex that he was in love.
Jenna listened patiently, offering words of reassurance and understanding. She reminded Noah it was natural to feel doubt and fear when navigating new territory, but she also encouraged him to trust his instincts and to be honest with himself and Eli.
“You need to do what feels right for you, Noah,” Jenna said. “I think you’re probably getting ahead of yourself unless you plan on Luke moving in over the weekend. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. If Eli has questions, be honest with him. Don’t be scared to tell him how you feel about Luke, and if you want Luke to spend the night sometimes, talk to Eli about that too. He doesn’t need to know what’s going on behind closed doors, and neither does anyone else in town. Even before this, I’m not sure how you moved back there. You knew damn well everyone’s in everyone else’s business.”
“Yeah, but it’s home.” Noah felt a sense of relief wash over him as he listened to Jenna’s advice. He knew she was right—he needed to trust himself and take things one step at a time. But the lingering doubt still weighed heavily on his heart.
As he ended the call with Jenna, Noah reflected on their conversation and the conflicting emotions that swirled within him. He knew he had a lot to think about, to consider, but he also knew he couldn’t let fear control his actions.
Noah gathered his things and made his way into the house, his mind still a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. As he approached the back door, he heard the sound of laughter and playful shouts. He rounded the corner to find Luke and Eli playing catch, their faces lit up with joy and excitement.
Luke noticed Noah’s presence and walked over to him, a concerned look on his face. “Hey, is everything all right?”
Noah forced a smile, trying to hide the turmoil within him. “Yeah, just a lot on my mind. Everything’s fine.”
Luke’s eyes searched Noah’s face, seeing through his facade. “You sure? You can talk to me, you know. About anything.”
Noah took a deep breath, acknowledging the fears and doubts lingering within him. He knew he needed to be honest with Luke, to share his concerns and work through them together. But for now, he decided to enjoy the moment, to appreciate the happiness that surrounded them.
“I know,” Noah said, his voice soft. “Thank you. I just… I need some time to process everything. But I’m glad you’re here. Really glad.”
Luke’s face softened, and he squeezed Noah’s hand. “Me too. You’re sure we’re good?”
“Better than,” Noah assured him. Because they were. He wasn’t sure where they were headed, but they’d find a way through it. As they stood there, watching Eli play, Noah knew that he had a lot to think about, to work through. But he also knew he had something special with Luke, something worth fighting for. And he was determined to face his fears and doubts head-on, to work through them and build a future with Luke by his side.