Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Dad, can I have more bacon?” Eli held up his empty plate, syrup from his pancakes dripping onto the worn wooden table.
Noah nodded, reaching for the platter. “One more piece, buddy. We’re eating later than normal, and I don’t want you to still be full when it’s time for lunch.”
“Actually,” Cathy said, peering into the fridge, “lunch might be a bit delayed. I could have sworn I bought everything yesterday, but we’re missing several ingredients for the potato salad and we’re almost out of milk.”
“Make a list, and we’ll run to the store after breakfast,” Luke offered.
Noah hesitated, glancing at Eli. His son was already turning back to Mason, asking if he could learn how to fish today. Noah sucked in a sharp breath, not sure he was comfortable with Eli messing around with sharp hooks. On the other hand, the ease with which Eli had settled in with the other kids warmed Noah’s heart.
“I don’t want you boys running all over for me,” Cathy protested. “I’m sure your dad won’t mind heading into town.”
“We can go,” Noah agreed, pushing back from the table. He wasn’t used to having people he could leave Eli with, so disrupting his fun wasn’t the issue he was making it out to be in his head. “Eli, you good staying here with everyone?”
“Uh-huh.” Eli barely looked up from where Mason was explaining different types of bait to him. “Can we practice diving while you’re gone? Emma says she can teach me.”
“No diving,” Noah and Luke said simultaneously, sharing a look that made Megan snort into her coffee.
“Your dad and Luke should be back before it’s time to swim, but if they’re not, we can wait to head down to the lake,” Megan suggested.
“Swimming is fine,” Noah added, “but stay in the shallow area. And listen to Megan and Drew, okay?”
Eli nodded absently, still focused on Mason’s lesson. Noah’s chest tightened—the need to make sure his son was safe warred with the desire to let him spread his wings.
“He’ll be fine,” Luke murmured, close enough only Noah could hear. “Drew’s a great swimmer, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he and Mason wind up fishing instead since that’s all he’s talked about this morning.”
Noah knew Luke was right. The lake house felt safe, with plenty of responsible adults around. And Eli was having so much fun with the rest of the kids. This was the life he’d always wanted for his son.
“Here’s the list,” Cathy said, pressing a piece of paper into Luke’s hand. “And maybe grab some more hot dogs? The kids went through quite a few yesterday.”
They gathered their wallets and keys, Noah pausing to drop a kiss on top of Eli’s head. “Be good, buddy. We won’t be gone long.”
“Okay, Dad.” Eli flashed him a quick smile before turning back to Mason.
Noah followed Luke out to the truck, the morning sun already warming the air. The lake stretched out before them, calm and peaceful, promising another perfect summer day. As they climbed into the cab, Noah caught himself smiling at how natural this felt—running errands together, sharing quiet moments between the chaos of family life.
“What?” Luke asked, catching his expression.
“Nothing.” Noah reached for Luke’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Just…happy, I guess. I knew Eli was missing out on having cousins to grow up with and all that, but seeing how easily he’s fitting in with Mason and the girls has me ready to kick myself.”
“Why’s that?” Luke asked as he backed up and turned the truck around.
Through the side mirror, Noah caught a glimpse of the kids spilling onto the deck, their laughter carrying across the still morning air. His chest tightened with emotion—love for his son, gratitude for this family that had welcomed them so completely, and a deep, steady affection for the man beside him.
“I’ve avoided getting serious with anyone because I didn’t want to hurt him,” Noah admitted. A little voice in the back of his head reminded him that if he hadn’t been so cautious, he might not have met Luke. “But in doing that, I kept him from experiences like this one.”
“You’re thinking too hard again,” Luke teased, his thumb tracing patterns on Noah’s palm. “And maybe there’s a reason neither of us met that special someone until my sister begged me to help you.”
“I think you might be right.” Noah smiled, pushing away the lingering whisper of anxiety. Eli was safe, surrounded by people who already loved him like family. Everything was perfect.
The drive into town was peaceful, filled with comfortable silence and shared glances. Noah let himself relax into the simple joy of being with Luke. They had the rest of the weekend to make memories and strengthen the bonds forming between their families.
He just hoped they could find everything on Cathy’s list quickly. He was already looking forward to getting back to the lake, to watching Eli play with Megan’s kids.
It felt like everyone in town had the same idea as them as they pulled into the grocery store parking lot. He’d anticipated the nearest town being quiet, like Maple Hill, but streets were already packed at ten on a Saturday morning. Then again, this was a popular tourist town, and the weather was supposed to be perfect.
They hurried as much as they could through the store, wanting to get back to the lake house before the kids went swimming. Noah trusted Megan and Drew implicitly, but he still worried about his son swimming when he wasn’t there. Eli was a good kid, but he didn’t always think before he acted.
They could see the kids playing on the dock when they returned to the house, their shouts and laughter carrying across the yard. Noah smiled at the sight of Eli with the others, his orange swim shirt making him easy to spot among the group.
“Got everything?”
“Think so.” Luke consulted the list one final time. “Though Mom will probably remember something else the second we walk in.”
“Here, let me grab that,” Luke offered as Noah reached for the heavy bag with the gallons of milk. “You can get the lighter stuff.”
Noah handed over the bag, gathering up the remaining groceries. The lake sparkled in the late morning sun, perfect for the afternoon of swimming they had planned. Everything felt right—the warmth of the day, the sound of children’s laughter, the easy domesticity of putting away groceries together.
A shriek followed by chaos shattered the peaceful moment.
Noah’s head snapped up at the sound, the grocery bag slipping from his fingers as he saw Eli stumbling backward on the dock. Time slowed to a crawl, stretching like taffy as he watched his son’s arms pinwheel, trying to catch his balance.
Then Eli disappeared over the edge.
Luke was already moving, the gallons of milk hitting the ground as he sprinted toward the water. Noah stood frozen, watching milk spread across the gravel like spilled paint, his feet refusing to move.
Move . Why couldn’t he move?
Drew’s splash barely registered as he jumped in after Eli. The world narrowed to the space where his son had been, then wasn’t. Somewhere, he heard Megan hollering for her kids to get off the dock, Luke’s voice steady as he yelled something to Drew.
“Got him!” Drew surfaced with Eli in his arms, the boy coughing and spluttering but seemingly unharmed. “He’s okay, just swallowed some water.”
Noah’s legs finally cooperated, carrying him toward the dock where Drew was already passing Eli to Luke. His son’s face was pale, water streaming from his hair, but he was breathing. Alive. Safe.
“I’m sorry,” Eli choked out between coughs. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“Shh, buddy.” Luke wrapped Eli in a towel, rubbing his arms. “You’re okay. That’s what matters.”
Noah reached for his son, needing to feel him solid and real in his arms. But Eli clung to Luke, face buried in his chest as he continued to cough up lake water.
“Let’s get him inside,” Megan suggested gently.
Noah followed numbly as Luke carried Eli toward the house, his mind replaying those terrible seconds in vivid detail. He should have been there. Should have been watching. Should have…
“Noah?” Luke’s voice broke through his spiraling thoughts. “Can you grab his bag? We should get him out of these wet clothes.”
“Right.” Noah’s voice sounded strange to his own ears. “Of course.”
He watched Luke settle Eli on the couch, still shivering despite being wrapped in the towel. It was still early enough in the summer that the water was cold despite the warmer air. His son’s coughs subsided, but he looked small and scared, nothing like the excited boy who’d learned the theory of fishing over breakfast.
“I really am sorry,” Eli whispered, his voice rough. “I know we’re not supposed to lean over the edge, but the fish was so cool and?—”
“Hey.” Luke crouched in front of him, his voice gentle. “Accidents happen, buddy. You scared us, but you’re okay. That’s what matters.”
Noah’s chest tightened as he watched them, guilt and gratitude warring in his heart. He should have been here. Should have been the one comforting his son, not standing frozen while others saved him.
“Here.” He handed Luke the dry clothes, his movements mechanical. “I should… I need to…”
He retreated to the kitchen, where Cathy was stirring hot chocolate, and his mother’s voice echoed in his head: A parent’s job is to protect their child, not give in to their every whim.
He’d failed. He’d been too caught up in his perfect morning with Luke, too comfortable leaving Eli with others, too…
“Noah?” Luke appeared in the doorway, concern etched on his face. “He’s asking for you.”
Noah couldn’t move. Couldn’t face his son, knowing he’d failed to protect him. Couldn’t process how quickly everything could change.
“We should have stayed here and let your dad run to the store,” Noah managed, his voice trembling with worry. He took a few deep, measured breaths, reminding himself to stay calm. The more he panicked, the more it would upset Eli. Noah hoped the opposite would be true, and he wouldn’t feel scared if he didn’t think he was “supposed to.”
“Hey, you can’t beat yourself up.” Luke stepped closer, steadying him with a hand on his arm. “It was an accident. It could have happened even if we were here. And he’s going to be fine, but he needs you right now.”
Noah nodded, forcing himself to move. Each step felt heavy as he made his way back to the living room, where Eli sat huddled in fresh clothes, clutching a mug of hot chocolate. His son looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes, lower lip trembling.
“I’m really sorry, Dad,” Eli said again. “Are you mad at me?”
The question hit Noah like a physical blow. “No, buddy.” He sat beside Eli, pulling him close. “I was just scared. When I saw you fall…”
“Drew got me really fast,” Eli assured him, snuggling into his side. “And Uncle Luke had a towel ready and everything.”
Noah’s throat tightened at how easily Eli referred to the others, how naturally they’d stepped in when he’d frozen. He kissed his son’s damp hair, breathing in the familiar scent now tinged with lake water.
“Try to finish your hot chocolate,” Noah said, his voice steadier than he felt. “Then maybe you should rest for a bit.”
“But, Dad?—”
“No arguments.” The words came out sharper than he intended, making Eli flinch. Noah softened his tone. “Please, buddy. Just for a little while.”
He felt Luke’s concerned gaze but couldn’t meet it. Instead, he focused on watching Eli sip his cocoa, cataloging every breath, every movement, reminding himself his son was safe.
Safe because others had been there when he wasn’t.
The thought settled like lead in his stomach, heavy with implications he wasn’t ready to face.
Noah grabbed Eli’s wet clothes off the floor, needing something to do with his hands. Through the window, he could see the other kids back on the dock, with Drew sitting guard. Eli wasn’t with them—he’d nodded off on the couch, exhausted from his ordeal.
“He’s fine, you know.” Megan’s voice was gentle as she joined him in the laundry room. “Kids have accidents. It happens.”
“I should have been there.” Noah smoothed nonexistent wrinkles from Eli’s shirt. “I’m his dad. I’m supposed to protect him.”
“Noah—”
“You don’t understand.” He gripped the edge of the dryer, knuckles white. “He’s all I have. If anything happened to him…”
“But nothing did happen,” Megan reminded him. “He got too close to the edge and fell in. It’ll be a learning lesson for sure. You need to remember he’s got more than just you looking out for him now.”
The words hit too close to the fears swirling in Noah’s mind. He’d let himself relax, let others take responsibility for his son’s safety. Let his growing feelings for Luke distract him from his most important job. He was so comfortable around this family that he’d chosen to be selfish and steal a little time with Luke rather than being there to watch his son.
“I need some air,” he muttered, easing past Megan.
He wandered out to the back deck, staring at the spot where Eli had fallen in. To his right, spilled milk had dried in the sun, leaving a pale stain on the gravel. Such a small thing, yet it felt significant somehow—a reminder of how quickly everything could change.
Voices drifted through the open window behind him:
“Are you sure Dad’s not mad at me? He told me to be careful, and I wasn’t.” Eli’s voice was still rough from coughing.
“No, buddy.” Luke’s response was immediate, gentle. “He was just really scared when you fell. Sometimes grown-ups need time to process being scared.”
“But you weren’t scared. You helped right away.”
“I was terrified,” Luke admitted. “Everyone reacts differently. Your dad loves you so much, Eli. He just needs a minute to remember that you’re okay.”
Noah’s chest tightened at their exchange. He should be in there, comforting his son, not hiding out here wrestling with his fears. But guilt and doubt kept him rooted in place.
“He’s been happy,” Eli was saying. “He smiles more now. But maybe…maybe he’s mad that I ruined everything?”
“Hey, no.” Luke’s voice was firm. “You haven’t ruined anything. Your dad’s happiness isn’t something you need to worry about, okay? That’s grown-up stuff.”
Noah pressed his palms against his eyes, fighting back tears. His withdrawal was hurting Eli, making him doubt himself. This was exactly what he’d promised himself would never happen—letting his personal life affect his son’s sense of security.
“Can we still go swimming later?” Eli asked hesitantly. “I promise I’ll be more careful.”
“That’s up to your dad,” Luke replied. “But I bet if you ask him, he’ll say yes. He just wants you to be safe.”
Safe . The word echoed in Noah’s mind. Wasn’t that what mattered most? Not just physical safety, but emotional security? And here he was, letting his fears damage the very thing he was trying to protect.
Movement caught his eye—Drew teaching Mason proper diving form while Megan spotted him. The easy way they worked together, sharing responsibility for their children’s safety, made something twist in Noah’s chest. He’d been so focused on being everything for Eli that he’d forgotten children needed more than one person to rely on.
“You okay?” Luke’s voice behind him was soft, careful.
“No,” Noah admitted without turning around. “I keep thinking about what could have happened if Drew hadn’t been right there. If you hadn’t…”
“But we were there,” Luke reminded him. “And we always will be.”
Noah finally turned, meeting Luke’s concerned gaze. “That’s what scares me. I’m supposed to be enough for him. I promised myself when Jenna and I split that Eli would always come first, that I wouldn’t let anything—or anyone—distract me from being the parent he needs. Jenna’s counting on me so she can do her job.”
“And you think being happy makes you a worse parent?” Luke stepped closer, his presence steady and grounding. “Having someone you love other than him somehow diminishes your ability to be there for him?”
“I don’t know.” Noah’s voice cracked. “I just know that when he fell, I froze. And you…you didn’t hesitate. You knew exactly what to do.”
“Because I love him too,” Luke said simply. “Not the same way you do—I know I’m not his father. But he’s become part of my heart, Noah. Just like you have.”
The admission hung between them, heavy with meaning. Noah wanted to reach for Luke, to let himself be comforted by the steadiness of his presence. But the image of Eli disappearing over the edge of the dock kept playing in his mind, a stark reminder of how quickly everything could change.
“I should check on him,” Noah said finally, stepping back. “I’m going to take him back down by the other kids. I can’t hold him back just because I’m scared of something happening to him.”
Did he want to let Eli anywhere near the lake right now? Hell no. But that was his issue. Eli wasn’t scared, despite falling in, and Noah needed to help him get back out there.
“Okay. I’ll help Mom with lunch.”
The afternoon passed in a blur of careful supervision and forced normalcy. Noah sat on the dock while Eli played in the shallow water. Drew and Luke took turns helping the kids practice their swimming. Every splash made his heart race, but he forced himself to stay, to show Eli that one accident didn’t mean he would turn into a helicopter parent.
They didn’t go boating until late in the afternoon, and Noah was pretty sure Luke’s parents made that decision to give Noah’s frayed nerves a bit more time to get over the earlier excitement. If so, it worked. It also helped that all the kids had to wear life vests from the moment they got onto the boat until they were back at the dock.
Dinner was quieter than breakfast had been, the kids exhausted from a day spent in the sun and water and the adults ready for some downtime. Eli stuck close to Noah’s side as if sensing his father’s unease. When bedtime finally came, Noah found himself lingering longer than usual over storytime, memorizing every detail of his son’s peaceful face as he drifted off to sleep.
Now, standing in the upstairs hallway after checking on Eli one final time, Noah felt the weight of the day settling heavily on his shoulders. The house had grown quiet, most of the family having retired to their rooms. Through the window at the end of the hall, he could see Luke sitting alone on the balcony, illuminated by the soft glow of the porch light.
Noah knew they needed to talk. The conversation couldn’t wait until morning, not with the way he’d been withdrawing all day. He owed Luke more than that. Taking a deep breath, Noah headed outside, each step carrying him closer to a conversation he both dreaded and knew they needed to have.