Chapter Forty-Two #2
He looks at me with focus. “Go on.”
I take a deep breath in and out. “The thing is, when I fought you to stay with Marcia, I didn’t realize that winning the apartment would mean losing you .
I sort of assumed you’d stay in New York and that maybe we could continue what we started.
I also don’t think I even realized how much I liked you…
loved you… until it was too late.” I lower my gaze for a beat before raising my head again.
Adam’s eyes are wide, but he remains silent, probably assuming I have more to say.
I swallow hard. “There’s more to my speech, but please put me out of my misery if you don’t feel at all the same way.” My heart is still thumping frantically.
His lips curl up in the hint of a smile. “I’ve missed you, Brina.”
“Yeah?” The word comes out choked and I hold a breath, bracing for the but that I pray doesn’t follow. That he used my nickname is a good sign. It’s more intimate and less likely to be followed by a rejection. Right?
He nods. “I miss watching trashy television with you. You’ve made me believe the people on Love Is Blind are actually there for the right reasons and not just to collect followers.
I miss the way the bathroom smells like Valentine’s Day after you shower because of your body wash.
I miss the way you blush when I take my shirt off.
I miss how easily I can make you blush in general.
Like right now.” His eyes dance. “You’re such a good friend to my grandma.
You love reading. You’re smart and tech savvy.
You put up a good fight when you believe in something.
And you’re really hot!” This time he blushes.
“I didn’t expect to fall for my grandmother’s roommate, but that’s exactly what I did.
” He licks his lips. “Which is to say, I love you too.”
Because I’m temporarily mesmerized by the quick flash of his tongue, I hear his words on a brief delay. But when they sink in, my rib cage expands and my cheeks spontaneously stretch into a huge grin. He loves me too!
It’s my turn again. “When you came to my room to say goodbye, I was too afraid to ask you to stay, but I wish I had.” I swallow hard. “If you’re settled here, would you consider trying a long-distance relationship?”
Adam reacts to this with a shake of his head. “I don’t want to do long distance.”
The air whooshes out of me like a faulty tire. “Does that mean that you don’t—”
“I’m moving back to Manhattan.”
My breath hitches. “You are?” His words warm my heart like a cozy wool sweater. I have so many questions, but he’s still talking.
“Moving back here didn’t magically change my dad’s relationship with my grandma or who he is and likely always will be.”
“Marcia filled me in. I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you hoped.” I reach for his hand and lock it with mine.
“Win some, lose some.” He rubs a finger along my knuckle. “But in the meantime, you’re not the only one who has been regretting things they didn’t say that night in your bedroom. I also want to date for real, and I’ve finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up.”
My mouth drops open. “And?”
He smiles.
“Wait.” My body hums with excitement. “Do you want to be a librarian too?”
His gaze wanders the length of my body. “We’d make a very sexy pair of librarians, no doubt, but as much as I enjoy being a page, the answer is no.
I want to be a middle school English teacher…
like my grams. It’s not a whim this time.
Going back to school is not just an excuse to avoid another job.
I mean it. Maybe The Outsiders will be in the curriculum,” he says with a crooked grin.
My hand flies to my mouth. This fills me with so much joy, I could burst. There’s a round of applause from the event room, almost like they’re happy for Adam too.
It’s perfect. Adam always enjoyed the tween and teen programs at the library best and is an advocate in the fight against book banning in schools.
“I’ve already applied to the master’s programs at Fordham, Hunter, and Columbia.” He grins sheepishly. “I haven’t even told Grams. I was planning to do my own grand gesture if I got accepted somewhere.”
“Of course you’ll get in somewhere!” The man already has an Ivy League education. I’m positive he’ll make a brilliant teacher—as long as his students are able to put aside their crushes long enough to listen to his lessons. I stroke the soft skin of his arm below the sleeve of his T-shirt.
“I should know in a few weeks. After that, there’s only one thing left to figure out.”
“What’s that?” I lower my hand and move out of the way to give a customer access to the books on the table.
Adam gestures for me to slide closer to the bookshelves. “My living arrangements. You think I can find something on RoomBridge?”
I cluck my tongue. “Possibly, but I have a better idea.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Marcia thinks she might move in with Sharon at some point.”
His eyes widen in mock horror. “My grandma? Living in sin? No!”
I giggle. “You’re missing the point. If they shack up, I’m going to need a new apartment and roommate. Are you interested? Or is it too soon? It’s not happening immediately so we have time to date like regular people who don’t live together first.”
He lessens the distance between us and takes both of my hands in his. “We’ve already lived together, so not too soon. But I have some conditions this time around.”
I lace my fingers through his and squeeze. God, how I love holding hands. People underestimate how electrifying it can feel when you’re in love. We’re in love! “Lay them on me.”
He strokes my thumb. “We share a bed.”
Heat pools down my stomach and lower. “No brainer. What else?”
He shrugs sheepishly. “Actually, that’s it.”
“Well, I have a few conditions of my own.”
“Do tell.”
I drop his hand and straighten my back to emphasize the seriousness of this conversation. “We have to buddy-read Sunrise on the Reaping .”
Adam flicks his wrist. “Easy. What else?”
“I’m not sure you’re going to like this one.” I bite my lip.
His gaze travels to my mouth and stays there. “Let me be the judge.”
“You can’t wear a shirt while flipping our mattress. Or while baking dog and non-dog treats. In fact…” I say, tilting my head back and forth and tapping a finger to my lips. “You’ll be prohibited from wearing a shirt about seventy-five percent of the time.”
He nods. “Like when I’m really, really cold.”
“Yup. And when we have guests over.” I wave my hand in front of his chest. “I don’t want you flaunting all this to other people.” I assume a serious expression and shrug. “You in or out?”
Without hesitation, he says, “I’m in.” Then he drops my hands and scratches his head. “What will my grams say?”
Normally, bringing up one’s grandma in the midst of a grand gesture would be a turnoff, or at least awkward, but not this time. “It was her idea.”
His cheeks glow. “She’s so smart.”
“The smartest.” I can’t stop smiling. “I can’t stop smiling.”
“I have a solution for that.” He pins his eyes on me, heavy lidded and smoldering.
I know where this is going and check my left and right for spectators, but when I turn back to Adam, he’s only looking at me.
“No sneaking around anymore.” He lowers his head and brushes his lips against mine, at first feathery light but then deeper and more passionately, releasing one of his hands to place it on the back of my head.
I use mine to tug his T-shirt and draw him even closer.
I picture the scene as captured through the window of the bookstore. Two people kissing in a room surrounded by books with pages and pages of fictional love scenes and happily-ever-afters.
But none are more romantic than ours.