Chapter 28
Rooster
It is absolutely insane how I can go from more content than I can ever recall being to a sense of foreboding hitting me in the chest like a freight train.
The pleasure I felt earlier with Morgan was unprecedented.
We grabbed a shower, but with unspoken rules, we didn't take things any further. Sitting in bed with her, arguing over what to watch on television, felt natural. We laughed, joked, and teased each other for our complete opposite likes in movies and television series before settling on a show about animals in the Arctic.
There was no awkwardness. Silent moments were spent holding her hand or with my arm wrapped around her back. When she snuggled deeper into my embrace, I felt a sense of wholeness that I hadn't felt in a long time. It's as if she wedged herself into a part of me that I didn't know was missing.
She dozed in my arms, and when I reached over to turn off the lamp, she sleepily asked if she could stay in bed with me, chuckling sleepily when I told her I'd hold her down if she tried to leave.
As content as I was, I still couldn't fall asleep.
And that's how I find myself right now, with her in my arms, face buried in my chest.
I should be internally celebrating, but of course, this is the opportunity my mind takes to wander. As it does, doubt begins to settle inside of me.
Henry had no reason to reach out to me or tell me to take care of our girl while he was working. I go years at a time without any contact from my twin, but I can't let myself forget that he placed her in my life. Since Henry has never been one to give gifts without expecting something in return, I should know better than to think this situation is any different.
As the hours drag on, my mind refusing to settle, I begin to grow uneasy.
Why has she stayed attached to me? I know my value and worth, but Twisted is so very talented in what he does. He's fit, and objectively speaking, he's a good-looking guy.
Morgan didn't want him. She zeroed in on me, the nerdy IT guy, who looks exactly like the man who traumatized her.
The longer I think about it, the less sense it makes unless she picked me for a reason. There haven't been any red flags that I've noticed, but that doesn't mean that she isn't just a great actress. It's very possible that she has been bread-crumbing me, giving me exactly what I didn't know I was looking for until she presented it to me.
Does she seem too perfect for me because that's the role she's playing?
It would be a serious long con if that was the case. Is Kaylee involved? I tracked Henry's movements before Heathen went to the warehouse, where he picked Kaylee to marry. Could Henry have been a part of that as well?
I can lie here and make myself crazy over the questions.
Hell, Henry's game could be to simply get in my head and make me doubt everything so that I ruin my chance with Morgan. The fact that my brother hates me so much that he's willing to ruin my life bothers me more than it should. But I accepted Henry for who he is a long time ago, despite there always being that niggle in the back of my mind that wishes he would just wake up one day and decide he wants to be a decent human being because I love him. I know that will never happen. Family wasn't ever one of his priorities, and there's no sense in wishing he'd change that now.
I don't know if putting distance between myself and Morgan is the right choice, but if she's nothing but a gift from my twin, I don't know if I'll be able to ever trust that what we have is real even if she is also just a pawn in one of his games.
With her sleeping quietly beside me, I almost have to force myself out of the bed. I don't want to give in to the voice in my head, but I also want to be cautious and not get blindsided by Henry's plan. I know he's up to something, and it kills me that I haven't been able to figure out his angle yet.
Maybe there's also a certain level of fear that his end game could leave me brokenhearted where Morgan is concerned.
She shifts slightly when I slip out from under her, and I hold my breath, looking down at her to make sure she stays asleep.
A sickness forms in my gut as I stand up and grab clothes appropriate for leaving the room.
Sneaking out of the room to go do research and try to get to the bottom of why she's in my life feels like a betrayal to her. Sickness pools in my gut with every step I take down the stairs.
The same thoughts that kept me awake and pulled me out of bed with Morgan form a layer of overwhelming exhaustion when I take a seat on my office chair.
Still, my fingers work over the keys.
My first order of business is a recheck of my system to ensure Henry hadn't stuck some weird code inside when he messaged on the app earlier. It seems clear, but there's always a chance that he has a timer set on his intrusion, and it won't be discovered for a very long time. My brother has always been a pro at the long game. His patience is unmatched.
As I search, I can't help the argument in my head about what I want to find. Do I want there to be proof that what I've started with Morgan will turn sour because of my brother, so I feel justified in my thoughts about wanting to clam back up and build a wall between us?
Do I want those worries to go unfounded, giving me an opportunity to build something bigger with her? The latter would still always keep that whisper of doubt, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin a good thing with a wonderful woman with unfounded worries.
My back muscles grow stiff, and tension from sitting at my desk, along with the worry I have for this entire situation, ‘cause every muscle in my body to ache to the point that I inwardly wonder if I'm getting sick.
My eyes grow gritty, sandpaper-like as they dart back and forth between my screens as I run program after program, trying to find a hint at what Henry has been up to.
It isn't until I sense someone at the open door of the conference room that I realize I've worked through the entire night, and the sun is starting to rise.
Morgan gives me a sleepy smile from the doorway and guilt for what I've been up to for hours swims inside me.
I open my mouth to apologize but stop short of confessing what I've done as I walk across the room to greet her.
"Good morning," she whispers, her voice still filled with sleep. "You're already working?"
"Yes," I answer.
It isn't a lie, and I justify it by reminding myself that I have been tasked with tracking Henry down for what he did to Kaylee, despite my real reasons for leaving her in my bed alone hours ago.
I reach out for her, not knowing how long I'll get to live in the fantasy of pretending she's mine on some level before Henry blows it all up. Without hesitation, she steps into my arms and rests her head against my chest.
"Think you could spare some time for me today?" she asks, her words slightly muffled from how she has her face buried against me.
"You have to work."
"I was thinking about calling in," she replies.
I don't know if she can feel me freeze in her arms. Is it a red flag that she wanted to go back to work so she could save her vacation days for the trip she was planning to turn around and now wants to stay here after we connected the way we did last night?
I don't sense manipulation in her tone, just the hint of an ache to spend time with me, but that doesn't mean that she isn't the absolute best actress Henry could find.
There's always the chance she's one of Henry's pawns, just like I've always been in his games.
I don't know which voice in my head to believe, and I hate the fact that it's starting to look like I may end up losing her, no matter what the outcome may be.
"I have a ton of stuff I have to do today," I say instead, not wanting to be the one to ruin things before I find out what's really going on. "I may have some time this evening."
She takes a step back, a wash of cold immediately replacing her warmth against my chest.
Sadness fills her eyes, but she simply nods and gives me a weak smile.
"Work it is then, I guess."
"Sorry," I mutter, fighting the urge to tell her that I can skip work too.
"It's fine," she says, resting her hand right over my heart.
The action makes it pound harder in my chest.
"We're adults, right?"
"We are," I quickly agree.
"And we have plenty of time."
"We do," I say, my voice cracking a little at the end. I cough, clear my throat, and give her a smile.
"Wanna wash my back in the shower?" she asks with the hint of a devious smile pulling up the corner of her lip.
"We'd never leave my room," I tell her, leaning in and brushing a kiss against her lips. "I have to get back to work."
She lifts up on her toes, pressing her lips against mine one last time before walking out of the conference room.
I can't help but think that no matter what I do in this situation, it’s going to end up being the wrong choice.