29
W hite moonlight. The rush of the wind. Woods and farmland for miles around.
Davis and I sit on the tailgate of his truck. It feels like we’re the only two people in the world. I stare at the tiny cabin where Davis and I would meet six years ago. Frantic, fumbling, starved for each other.
I point at a bright orange stake in the ground. More are scattered back in the trees. “What’re are those?”
“Boundary lines,” Davis explains. “We own the land all the way back to the falls. Land we’ve let sit for a good ten years.” He rubs his jaw. “With the ranch finally making some money, we could put it to use.”
I frown. “Knock it down?”
“Not sure yet.”
“We’re in the north,” I say, remembering what he told me about the direction of the cabin. “And the ranch is…” I incline my head to the left. “That way.”
“That’s right.” Davis’s deep voice is hypnotic in the dark. “You want to go inside?”
“No.” I smile when there’s a rustle of fabric, and Davis drapes his jacket around my shoulders. “Tonight is a night for secrets.”
He eyes me with amusement. “You sure Fallon didn’t slip you a shot?”
I laugh. Heat warms my chest. I feel alive. Breathless. Becoming.
Squish rolls in my belly, and I press my hand against the patter of his little feet. My son.
This night. Freedom.
There is something in the air, a rush of brave.
A rush of me.
“Secrets, then.” Davis exhales and I watch those big shoulders of his relax. “Okay. You start.”
I smile in the dark. “Pregnant woman goes out to a bar and has a great time.”
Davis grips my thigh with his brick of a hand. The steady brush of his fingers provides a comfort. “Man on the verge of killing every brother he has.”
I laugh. “You’d never.”
“Don’t tempt me.” He sighs and removes the whiskey bottle cap to take a swig. “Ford was out of line.”
“He was, but…we can bullshit or we can tell the truth.” At my words, Davis arches a brow. “It’s something Fallon said tonight,” I explain. “And I think she’s right. I think what I’ve been doing ever since I got back here is bullshitting myself that I can get back what I lost. And I can’t.”
Davis looks at me, but stays silent, carefully scooting closer.
I blow out a shaky breath. “I realized tonight that the girl I used to be is not coming back. And that’s okay.”
Tears prick my eyes. I study the outline of the gnarled and twisted trees in the darkness. Scenes out of a horror story, but with Davis beside me, I’m not frightened. I am safe. And it’s why I came back, isn’t it?
To have something, someone to hold on to—strength.
And Davis is one part of that strength.
But I’m the other part.
“Aiden King,” I say.
Davis hitches a breath.
Saying it out loud is like releasing a poison.
“That’s my ex’s name.” My stomach knots as Aiden’s face flashes in my mind, but I push on.
“I met him when I worked as a pastry chef at La Rêve. He made me feel special, visited me early in the morning while I prepped my kitchen. He became my lover. And then my investor. He was charming, handsome, rich. Holy trinity on paper.” I chance a glance at Davis.
His face is tight, emotionless. I know it’ll never be easy for him to hear this.
I take his hand, then say, “I was stupid, I suppose. Some girl from Montana who thought she could make it, who thought she found a light.” I sigh. “I never saw what he was until it was too late.”
“No. Not stupid.” Davis strokes my arm. “Dakota, you’re not a bad person for looking for a good love.”
My heart pinches at the memory. “When we moved in together, after the bakery was open, that’s when I knew something wasn’t right. The dynamic changed. He was off. Annoyed when I’d leave to go to work. He’d come to the bakery and sit at a table all day until I went home with him.”
Davis’s brow furrows.
“Aiden was good at the long game. Lying in wait. Making me feel fucking crazy when I was talking rational. Taking inventory on just what exactly he wanted to diminish about me.
There were all these tiny put downs. Critiques of my skills. He was an investor, but he wasn’t a chef. I wouldn’t listen to him.” I chuckle. “Aiden trying to keep me down only made me work harder. I got better. Bigger. And he…he couldn’t handle it. He got angry.”
“Because he knew you deserved better,” Davis growls.
I nod and cross my arms.
“Three months after opening the bakery, I was closing up for the afternoon. And like always, Aiden was there. He was counting the money in the till, complaining that we were in the red. I told him he was crazy. That it was too early to worry about money. And then he…”
I pause and look into the dark.
“Tell me,” he says gruffly.
My eyes flick to him. “He slapped me across the face. Just once. Told me it was his responsibility to take me down a peg. I was so surprised I just went back to closing down.”
In the dark, Davis’s face is a mask. But that strong jaw of his is clenched, and I recognize murder in his eyes.
“There were other things,” I whisper. “Cutting me off from you. My father. Fallon. And I let him. I couldn’t just leave Aiden. He wouldn’t allow it. He’d hunt me down. He’d take my bakery. I felt like I had so much at stake, and Aiden King doesn’t lose. I didn’t want to accept the truth.”
Silence stretches through the darkness like a heavy cloak.
“I thought I could compartmentalize. That maybe, somehow, we’d just dissolve. And it worked. Until the night he broke my arm.”
Davis tenses. His fingers dig into his biceps.
“We were alone in the bakery one night. And out of nowhere, he started making all these angry demands. Sell the bakery. Stop working. I couldn’t help myself.
I laughed and told him to fuck himself. And it was like I flipped that switch.
” I close my eyes. “It was the real Aiden. The violent temper. The rage.”
The night sky stretches above us. Stars blink in and out. And then I whisper—
“He broke my arm with a rolling pin.”
Davis swears. A dark, violent sound.
He’s suddenly on his feet, pacing in front of the truck, as though he’ll combust on the spot if he stays still. I can practically hear the gears of his jaw grinding together.
My fingers shake as I trace them over the small scars on my arm. “He pinned me to the counter, and he brought it down. And then I passed out.”
The ground crunches as Davis moves to the front of the truck.
I slip off the tailgate. “Where are you going?
His eyes look wild, crazed. “To get on a fucking plane to DC and kill the guy.”
“ No .” I hook my arms around his massive frame, stilling him. “You stay with me. I need you here. We need you.”
I feel the rage melt out of his body. Davis heaves a sigh, and then he turns, crushing me against his chest. He’s shaking. “Jesus, baby,” he murmurs, his chin sweeping the top of my head.
I sniffle, burying my face in his chest.
“What happened then?”
“He took me to the emergency room. I knew if I said anything, it’d just end in more of the same. I was in pain and hysterical. All I could do was let him take me home.”
I look up. Silent tears slip down my face. Seeing them, Davis reaches to wipe them away, but I shake my head, wanting them to fall.
“He apologized, but in the same breath, he told me it was my fault. Told me if I ever tried to leave him, he’d kill me. He’d find my family. He’d make me pay.”
A shudder rocks my frame, but Davis holds me tight.
“Aiden’s the perfect monster. Calculating and charming. You never think…men like this…”
“He’s not a man.” The frozen rage in Davis’s dark gaze steals my breath. “He’s a piece of shit. A coward who tried to manipulate a strong woman because he was never good enough for you.”
I let his words settle. Let my breathing steady. Then I say, “The next week I found out I was pregnant.”
Davis swears.
I look down at my belly. “Squish woke me up. He saved me. I stayed with Aiden for another week, getting my things ready. And then we got in that huge fight and…well, you know the rest. It all burned down.”
His hands shift to my shoulders, holding me closer. We sway in the headlights, under the glow of the moon. That last unfinished dance from Nowhere. “Tell me,” I whisper against his broad chest. “Are you mad at me? Do you think less of me for staying with him?”
“I’m fucking furious.” His voice grates out.
I look up, feeling vulnerable, but when I see the fierce flash of protection in his eyes, warmth spirals through me.
“I am fucking livid that a man thinks he has a right to lay hands on you. To take that happy from your eyes. I hate myself for not being there and protecting you.”
Tears sting my eyes at the raw rage in his voice. “I didn’t love Aiden.”
I swear he stops breathing. His massive body goes still, fingers clenching tighter around my shoulders.
The weight of his gaze on my face singes as I go on. “I thought I did, during those first few months. But it wasn’t love. It was something to fill the space. Your space.”
His big hand curls around the back of my neck. “That’s because you never should have been his.”
Butterflies explode in my stomach. “And why’s that?”
“Because you’re mine,” he says gruffly, and my heart tumbles. “And I’m the fucking fool who let you go.”
“Why did you?” The words wrench from my very soul. I’m aching to know, even if it hurts.
He stares into the dark and says, “I wanted to make you happy, so I let you go.” This time, he looks at me. His throat works. “I let you go because I love you.”
I gasp. “What?”
“I love you, Dakota.” His hands move to cup my face. “I’ve loved you since that summer before you left.”
Tears fill my eyes. The aftershocks of his words ring in my ears. “I never—I never knew. You never said it.”
“And I’ll damn myself until the end of my days for that.” A tortured groan wrenches itself from his mouth. “I know I fucked up and lost you. I know I—”
I let out a sob. “No, you didn’t fuck up.” I search his eyes, push him back when he tries to take me in his arms again. Because it’s my turn. “I love you too. I have always loved you, Davis.”
For a long second, he looks stunned.