Chapter Nine
Jacob
Starting something I cannot finish is an awful idea.
There is no way I can finish this thing with Jillian the way I want to. Because I want to spend days in bed, touching, kissing, adoring every single inch of her. I have one night. Two, if I can make her spend another night with me. Neither of us want her to go, even if we know she will have to soon.
Riding away from the ranch after agreeing to camp out again, I watch her guide her own horse as the sun sets in the distance. This is our final night together, so I want to treasure each moment. As we ride, we talk about how perfect it is here together. How warm the air is, how sweet magnolia trees scent the breeze.
“Would you ever...could you see yourself on a ranch, honey?”
We both go quiet after I say the words I have been thinking since last night. I want her. I want her at my side, on my horse, and in my bed. Well, tonight it will be in the sweet grass beneath the stars. I would build her a bed, a house, a damn castle on a hill if she gave me a chance to be hers.
“Why so thoughtful cowboy?”
“Thinking about castles,” I answer before I reach over to kiss her neck.
Jillian’s soft body trembles visibly and I smile. I love how she shows how I affect her, how she never holds back or hides it. Just the same as I can’t stop kissing her skin or her sweet mouth. Once I get inside her, I don’t know if that will be enough for either of us.
We’re both addicted to how good we feel together.
“About building us one? With a stable of horses to tend to. Don’t forget a princess suite for our little princess.”
Sliding off my horse, I pause. Nodding at her, I hold her gaze. “I could never forget her. We would give her ponies, castles, camping under the stars, whatever her tiny heart wanted. I would give you anything, Jilly Bean.”
Between us the air shifts. It has been hot with want, with hunger. Playful with teasing, laughter, playing in the lake or at the paddock. This is different. Pulling her down from her horse, letting her soft body slide down mine, I slip my hand to the back of her head, tilting it back gently.
“You would,” she whispers, voice trembling. “Give everything to the ones who matter to you. Could you give me tonight, Jacob? I can’t...can’t promise tomorrow or any days after. Will you give me tonight, even if I don’t deserve it. Even if I should not be the one you....”
“Yes,” I growl, lifting her against me hands beneath her ass, grunting as she locks her legs around me. “Said I want it to be you. I meant that. I know it might not be forever or some dream romance for you but for me....it is.”
There, I said it. I admitted it to both of us. I want her—more than some rent-a-cowboy weekend. I could build something with her. Castles if she wanted it. A cabin on the mountain, a cottage here in Iron Hills. Anything for her. For her daughter, who deserves everything the same as Jillian does.
With that in the air between us, we set up camp. I start a fire while she lays out thick, woolen blankets beside a hill, providing us coverage. What I said won’t stop tonight. Nothing can. We both know that. Reaching out for her as the sun sinks in the skies, I dip my head to touch my brow to hers.
“Can I take my time with you? I want to see you in the firelight, Jilly Bean. I want to touch you for hours. Want to get so deep inside of you I can’t find my way out. Could you let me do that, honey?”
“Yes,” she breathes, hands rubbing up my chest. “Take all the time you want, Jacob. I am all yours now. Every single part of me is yours.”
There is more truth to her words than we will admit. Jillian belongs to me in ways she won’t ever belong to someone else. Just the way I belong to her. I might never get to call her my wife or give her my babies, but I can give her tonight, I can give her what I never wanted to give to anyone else.
Reaching out, I undo the buttons on her top. Well, it’s mine, the one I wore last night and put on her while being a jealous child. Seeing her in it makes my dick jerk. Mine. Jesus, she looks up at me with eyes that tell me she knows it, that she is mine.
Shaking hands push the shirt off her shoulders, a little moan humming from her throat. Her soft, perfect tits bounce just a little as the shirt falls, my hands there to cup them, thumbs brushing over the pink nipples. Bending, I suckle one, then the other, into my hot mouth, scraping my teeth over the numbs.
My little cowgirl likes it to hurt a little.
“Most beautiful thing I ever saw in boots,” I tease, tugging at the zipper on her shorts.
“Jacob,” she cries my name, her thighs rubbing together. “Stop talking. Keep that pretty mouth on me, cowboy,” she snarks, gasping as I lick between her tits, sucking marks, biting at the soft flesh.
“Good at both, honey,” I shoot back as her shorts fall off.
Standing back, I just look at her. Just about twilight out, the orange sun lights her up with a warm glow. It’s the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. I fall to my knees as if I’m at church to worship. In a way, I am. Going to worship her beautiful body with the cute dimples at her back, the pink marks on her hips and tummy from becoming a mother, all the parts she claims make her less than perfect.
Watching her, I lift one leg, draping it over my shoulder. Jillian whimpers as I lick her slit, groaning at how good she tastes. It gets sweeter each time I eat her pussy. This creamy, juicy need drips down her thighs and floods my mouth. Closing my lips around her budded clit, I suck hard, my fingers pushing inside her gently.
“Oh God, yes,” she whimpers, hips rocking as I pump my fingers inside of her, matching her rhythm.
Need boils inside of me. Reaching down, I yank at my zipper, freeing my aching cock. The tip drips with need. Rubbing my fingers over the tip, I lift them to her mouth. Moaning, she suckles, swirling her tongue to get it all. That is all I can take. Pulling back from her pussy with a loud, wet suck, I grasp the back of her thighs. Lifting her, I lie her back on the thick pallet of blankets, crawling over her.
Jillian claws at my shirt, almost ripping it off before her hands push inside my jeans. Kissing her throat as she wraps both hands around my thick cock, I bite her silky skin, feeding off her sexy sounds. Her hands start working me as I spread her thighs, fitting between them.
“Don’t make me come,” I beg as pleasure pounds down on me.
“I want you to come, baby,” she whispers against my jaw. “We have all night. Can’t my cowboy stud come for me all night?”
“Ah, fuck,” I rasp as she flicks her tongue at my ear, biting at the lobe as her hot, dirty words warm my skin. “Yeah, honey, I can. I get so fucking hard for you…oh fuck, I’m gonna come. Can I come on your pussy? I want to see my cum on that pretty little thing.”
Moaning a throaty, raw moan, she nods, falling back on the grass with a laugh. Fooling around with her, touching, kissing, it has been so good. Fun. There is no fumbling or confusion from my lack of know-how. We’ve just had a good time together figuring out how we can please each other.
Kneeling between her spread thighs, jeans bunched at my knees, I press my jutting cock against her wet folds. Eyes rolling back, I let her stroke me, faster, harder, my breath panting. Jillian wriggles beneath me, rubbing her soaked pussy against my shaft.
“Come on me, baby,” she commands, pressing the swollen crown between her slit, rubbing it back and forth against her clit.
“Fuck, that’s so hot, honey,” I grunt, unable to look away.
Heat blazes through me unlike I have ever felt. Sure, she has made me come a few times before. My right hand helped me get there a few times too. This is not the same. This is…it’s hot, it burns in my gut, my heart galloping like a startled horse, my balls drawing up.
“That’s it, baby,” she purrs, smiling as I come, jerking in her hands as she works the orgasm out of me. “God you’re hot when you come, Jacob. Who made this big cock come, baby?”
“Fuck, yes, Jillian,” I hiss as my hand wraps around her throat, closing tight. “It’s so fucking pretty covered in my cum. Need to blow inside you now. Can I…honey can I fuck you now?”
“God, it’s so hot you ask permission. Makes me so damn hot. Yes, yes, baby, I want you to fuck me. I want you inside me.”
Kicking off my jeans with my boots, I waste no time. Reaching towards the duffel, I grab a condom. I want to be raw inside her, but she chooses. Shaking her head, she tosses it aside. Falling over her, I crush my mouth to hers as I fist myself, rubbing through my mess.
“Jillian, I…this is everything. I am so damn blessed it”s you.”
Watching her eyes in the flickering firelight, I slowly push inside of her. Her tight, wet heat welcomes me with rippling, delicious waves. Being inside her confirms what I knew the moment we crashed to the ground together.
I could fall in love with this woman. Hell, I might be there.
“Oh, baby,” she whimpers so soft, so sweet, hands cradling my face. “That’s so good. Deeper, don’t stop. I want all of that inside me. Go as deep as…oh, yes, yes, yes, Jacob!”
Growling at the skies as I twist my hips, punching forward until I am as deep as I can get, I take a moment. I’ve felt pleasure a dozen times since she’s been here. Nothing close to this. Not as good as being tied to her, body, soul, my spirit tangling with hers as tightly as our bodies twist together.
With the fire warming our skin, I thrust slowly, taking my time just as I said I hoped to. The sweet, slow slide inside of her is so good, I don’t think I can stop. I thrust faster, harder, rocking her little body against the ground beneath us. My mouth never leaves hers, unless I am kissing her throat, biting marks at her shoulders or tits, sucking at her nipples, anything to keep those ripples fluttering up my cock.
“Yes, baby,” she pants, licking my mouth as she locks her limbs around me. “Come closer. You’re so beautiful this way, Jacob. God, you’re so goddamn beautiful. Don’t stop, it’s so damn good. So…oh, oh, that’s it, I’m coming. Yes, yes, yes, I’m coming, don’t stop!”
Finding her hands as she arches beneath me, her orgasm shaking her body, I pin her arms above her head. I pump harder, but slow down the thrusts, wanting to drag the moment out. This makes her shout, a smile at her lips as she cries my name, making me even harder inside her.
Glancing down, I watch in fascination as her pussy grips me tightly, spasming as she comes hard. Never seen something so hot. It makes me hard all over again and I turn so we’re face to face, hiking her knee up to my ribs. Her cries tell me it’s good, so I start thrusting again, watching her face as we whisper in the dark, sweet, soft, sexy things.
“Jesus you’re beautiful in the firelight, honey,” I rasp, licking her throat, her collar, biting down as she whimpers for me.
Jillian claws at my back, telling me to touch her. Pulling her knee higher, I manage to slip my fingers between us. Rubbing the rough tips at her clit, I love the sounds she gives me, the way she pants my name, how her tightness goes even tighter, all but choking my thrusting dick.
These rough touches stir another orgasm. Hell, it feels good. Jillian teased about me going all night, but she was spot on. I never want to stop. I never want to pull out of her, never want to break the connection. Each time she comes, I just get harder, I just want more, I cannot stop.
Pushing me over, she sits astride me, throwing her golden hair back. As she starts to ride me slowly, grinding against me, I am dealt a whole new level of pleasure. Seeing how her skin glows in the flickering fire, how her full breasts sway as she moves slow, faster, slow again, it’s what wet dreams and filthy fantasies are made of.
“Don’t stop,” I plead, hands kneading her ass, smacking it playfully. Jillian moans, nodding her head as she bounces faster. I smack again and she grinds her hips, rubbing her clit against the base of me. It’s so hot watching her use me this way to chase another orgasm.
“No, I-I can’t. Feel so good inside me. Jacob, please, I…oh, yes!”
Obeying her commands because I would do anything this woman asked, I sit up. I follow her lead, grasping her thighs to help her move on me. We both like this, my arms going tight around her to lift her. Her tits brush against my chest, her mouth fusing to mine.
There seems to be no end, wave after wave of pleasure riding us both. Jillian comes with her tongue in my mouth, telling me how good it is, how it’s the best thing she’s ever felt. I can’t speak or I would tell her it will always be this good between us.
I am glad I can’t speak because we won’t get always together.
Rage fuels the final moments of our first round of lovemaking. Because I know I will have to let her go. I told myself, told her too, I would be fine with it. It was a lie and we both knew it. I want her here, at this ranch or one like it with the animals I can rescue, her little princess, and us.
Because she says I like to rescue things, but she rescued me.
For so long, I refused to let someone in. After I lost everything I had ever had, why would I open myself up to that again? Jillian showed me it could be worth it. Because she lost everything too, didn’t she? Here she is despite that, laughing, smiling, riding horses again, having a good time because she decided to open herself up.
We come together as I accept this might be enough. It has to be enough. Jillian proves you can let someone in after your heart is torn out. Because her leaving will do that. It will tear my heart right from my chest because she will be taking most of it with her.
Still, I can love with whatever I am left with, can’t I?
Lying in the dark as we murmur in the dark, I want to tell her I love her. Or that I could, at least. That I love her for the time she has given me, and for what she has shown me. It might not be a love you build a life with, but I would disagree. It would be enough to start.
“Jacob,” she whispers softly, brushing her fingers down my face as we cuddle by the fire. “This was beautiful. It was all I could have dreamt of. This time with you.”
“It was. It is honey. I am so blessed to have a single moment with you. Can we…can we not talk about these moments ending? I want every single moment until they’re gone, Jilly Bean.”
“Yeah, cowboy. Every single moment until they’re gone.”
Spending the rest of the night making love to her--as promised--I cherish every word, every touch, every single moment as our last.