25. Dane
Even in my semi-inebriated state, I shared my location, and as soon as I did, Warren told me he was on his way and to stay put.
That could be a good sign.
The rumble of an engine slows, and headlights flash, turning into the lane to the field. The truck disappears behind a line of trees and shuts off. After the slam of the door, Warren’s voice calls out.
“Dane?”
“Over here!”
Warren shines a flashlight, and I watch as he heads towards me. The light bobs in the darkness as he walks, and the closer he gets to me, the more anxious I become. He said he was coming to get me, but maybe it’s to say goodbye.
When he finally reaches the truck, he flips off the flashlight and hops up on the tailgate to join me.
“Want some?” I hold the bottle of SoCo out to him, and he wrinkles his nose.
“No, thank you. Did you drink all that tonight?”
“Yep. Seemed like a good idea.”
Warren gently takes the bottle from my hands and lets it drop to the ground.
“Heyyy,” I whine. “I paid for that and might need it.”
“Dane.” Warren’s hand is on my cheek, and it feels so good to have his touch on me.
“I like how you feel. My skin likes yours. I missed you.”
A small huff sounds from Warren. “Maybe we should wait to talk when you’re sober.”
“I’m sober enough to understand what you tell me, and I can talk. Not much else, but I can talk.” I inhale deeply, and there it is. “Did you know you always smell like the juiciest tangerines? It’s delicious.”
This time, Warren laughs out loud, and I really hope I get to hear it again. Forever even.
“It’s the body wash Maise bought me for my birthday. I kind of like it.”
“She loves her Uncle Bunny.”
“She does.”
“So do I.” Okay. That’s the whiskey telling me this is a good time to declare my feelings.
It’s not a lie, but probably not the best delivery.
“It’s true. I love you, and if you’re here, to tell me to fuck off in person because you’re thoughtful like that.
I’ll still love you.” I nod my head in a single curt nod. “Just so you know.”
“I’m not here to tell you to fuck off. I’m here to tell you I shared your story with my family and—”
“Oh god, why?” I wish I could fling myself backwards on a mattress right now. How the hell can I look at those people again? Will I ever get to try Gabe’s lasagna again? When did I last eat, anyway? Fuck, I’m hungry. “Did you bring any food with you?”
“I think I have tic tacs in my truck.”
“Oh.”
Warren grabs my hand and kisses it. Damn, that’s like knight-in-shining-armour shit.
“Dane, babe, I needed to tell them so we could help, and we have a plan if you’re on board. I was hoping to explain it to you now, but I don’t think you’re in the shape to follow along.”
I want to talk, I do, but I’m tired and hungry…I think. I could just be tired, but I’m happy Warren is here. He’s still holding my hand!
“I could use some sleep.”
“Let me take you home. We can talk in the morning.”
He hops off the tailgate, and I point to the pile of blankets behind me. “This is home.”
“My home, Dane. You’re coming home with me.”
“Oh.”
Do I always give one-word answers? That doesn’t sound like me. I’m positive I was more eloquent. Or colourful. I do like to swear a lot.
“Don’t drink that shit,” I say as I hop off the truck and wobble when I land. “It’ll fuck you up. I used to talk good.”
Warren wraps an arm around my waist with another laugh.
“Okay, lightweight. Come on. You can sleep it off, and we’ll talk in the morning.”
“Will you hold me while we sleep? I’ve never slept better when you do.”
Warren’s steps falter, and he pulls me closer.
“Yes. I’m never letting you go.”
“Oh.”
Something is tickling my face.
“Oh shit. Nibbles come here.”
My eyelids scrape like sandpaper across my eyes when I struggle to focus on Warren’s voice.
“Nibbles?”
“My rabbit wanted to see who was snoring in bed at 10 A.M.”
“It’s 10 A.M.? Shit.” My eyes finally adjust, and Warren sits on the floor next to the bed with a black-and-white floppy-eared bunny in his arms. His finger strokes between its ears, and if I didn’t love him before, I just fell for him all over again.
That brings a flood of memories back from last night, and I throw my arm over my face.
“How much did I embarrass myself last night?”
Warren laughs softly. “Just a little. You were kinda cute.”
The blankets rustle, and then the familiar tangerine scent of Warren is much closer.
“I’m setting Nibbles on your chest so you can’t run away. She’s curious about you.” The tickling returns. It’s rabbit whiskers along my cheek as she sniffs me, and my lips curve in a smile.
“Is it good or bad that she’s curious?”
“Oh, very good. She’s usually the shy one, but she went right to you.”
My arm moves off my face more slowly as I bring it to her fur. “She’s so soft!” I pet her gently, and she nips at the top of the blanket, leaving a tiny tear. “Don’t make your dad mad and tear things apart, little bun.”
I’ve never been this close to a rabbit before. No wonder Warren likes them. They’re so cute.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” Warren asks, and I shift my attention to the warm brown eyes next to me. I know what he’s talking about, despite the drinking, and he deserves better than sloppy declarations from a man half drunk.
“I’d rather tell you when I don’t have whiskey morning breath and smell like I bathed in it.”
His lip quivers, and he draws in a shaky breath. “Okay, but I’ve been up since six, and I’ve had plenty of time to think about words, so I’d like to say them now.”
“I’m listening.”
“I want to be with you. I’ve loved you since that first shared hotel room, I think.
Maybe even before. I didn’t want to because love always ends badly for me.
I didn’t want to feel that again, and how could I have feelings for the guy who was the biggest asshole ever?
” There’s no malice in his voice as he recites the words he’s obviously been waiting for a while to say.
“But the more time I spent with you, the more I kept seeing these brilliant flashes of who you really are, and you’re really freaking great. ”
He reaches out to brush the hair off my forehead. Nibbles tries to bump his hand off me, and the most tender gaze I’ve seen from him settles on me. God…I’ve never felt so undeserving of affection before.
“Even after knowing what I’ve done? You still think that?”
“Yes, I do. I wish you could see everything about you that I do. You’re a great man, Dane. The biggest heart, an incredible roper, and you kiss so hot, I think you might not be real.”
Dammit, now I feel like I’m blushing again. How the fuck does he keep making that happen?
“Warren…I…I don’t want to be a charity case. I come with a lot of fucking baggage.”
“Did you not hear me? I love you. With all my fucking chest and when I love you, it’s not goddamn charity.
Love helps and nurtures, and…and…” His breath hitches.
“It’s not always fucking easy, and I know we have different lives currently, but never have I ever met someone as equal as me in my life.
Even my most timid rabbit went to you. Love isn’t charity, Dane.
I’d give it to you freely, no matter what, and not out of some sense of duty. ”
Not once does he raise his voice, and I hear the words. His gaze on me never wavers, and this is the face he gets in the ring. When he’s focused on the prize. This time, the prize is me, and I sort of want to jump and scream about that.
“Sorry, I’ve loved no one like I do you, Warren, and it scares the shit out of me. You weren’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. Last night I drank because I didn’t want to think of a life without you. It wasn’t my finest moment.”
Warren wrinkles his nose like one of his rabbits.
“Just don’t drink that shit again. I can’t stand the stuff. Pick something better, like JD, next time.”
“Gross. I prefer sweet stuff. In fact, I almost grabbed peach schnapps until I remembered you smell like tangerines, then I got sad all over again.”
Warren shakes the bed with his low, rumbling laugh.
“If I found you wasted on peach schnapps, I’d never let you forget it.” Warren’s grin returns as he punches my shoulder. “Get up and showered. I left you a toothbrush on the counter. Come downstairs after, and I’ll fill you in on what the lawyers have advised. Then we decide what’s next.”
Lawyers. Fuck, this is all getting real.
“I’ll see you down there.”
“Clarence said he’d be here after lunch if you’d like to talk here, or we can go to his office. It’s up to you.”
Warren settles on the couch next to me after setting his coffee mug on the table.
“I thought he didn’t like rodeo.”
Hunter returns to the room and joins us, sitting on the loveseat across from us.
“He doesn’t compete, but he knows the world and the life,” he says as he watches us.
“He also knows how important it is to all of us. You don’t need a lawyer to meet with the rodeo association, but it wouldn’t hurt to have him speak for you. ”
“I’m letting you all down if they suspend me, or worse. I…I never thought losing rodeo would be a choice. I don’t know what to do without it.”
It’s been such a part of my life and my means of support. How do I possibly survive without it?
Hunter clears his throat and raises an eyebrow at Warren. Father and son have a silent conversation, and Warren squeezes my hand. “My dad wants to offer you something.”
“Let’s take a walk.” Hunter stands, and Warren remains sitting.
“Just me?”
“Just you.”
Warren leans forward to get his coffee. “I’ll still be here. Take the walk and see what he says.”
“Um…okay.”
Hunter is already at the door with his boots on. I quickly pull mine on, and he opens the door. He leads us to the fence closest to the farmhouse that marks the beginning of the pasture with a view of the Rocky Mountains in the distance.
“When I was a little younger than you, I made some bad choices. I was in love with my rodeo partner, too, and I let him down. Not in a good way, either.” He sighs and looks off into the pasture, and I notice the grey hair peppering his still-thick dark hair. “You don’t have to repeat my mistakes.”
“I don’t see how that’s possible when I have to tell the association what I did. They won’t let me compete. Warren won’t get that championship.”
Hunter tilts his head to study me. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, he won’t have another team roping partner. Kind of hard to do it by yourself.”
“But he does rope by himself. In tie down just like you. Warren could have beaten you, hands down, ten years ago every time, but he always overthinks and gets in his head. It’s just a side effect of his childhood.
He might not get the team roping title, but he can still do tie down.
” He turns to look back into the field. “And he won’t win because you’re not competing…
he’ll win because he’s a champion and he’ll have you cheering him on. ”
A bird flies by, chattering away, and I never thought about Warren on his own. How selfish am I to only think of us as a team?
“I always thought he was better than me.”
Hunter smirks. “He is, and don’t let your guard down. Warren will explode with your support.”
“I…I’m sorry for bringing this to the rodeo school and your family. It was supposed to be a secret forever.”
Hunter shrugs like it’s really nothing serious.
“It’s probably better this way. You have choices now that you never had before. Your sister will still have her care without you busting your nuts and being homeless. You can both be happy.”
God, the thought of not handing over all my money to her home is more of a relief than I thought it would be.
I didn’t know about contracts and geared to income and all the other stuff about these places.
I just called and found a place with space as long as I had the required deposit, and said yes.
All this time, all I had to do was mention my income wasn’t what I declared. I thought it was what they needed to hear. Which I likely wouldn’t have disclosed anyway, but still…Maybe I could be better off now if I’d just taken a minute to fucking breathe and research shit.
“If I can get a second chance, so can you. I made a mess of things for a while. It was only once I asked for help that things truly changed. I stopped being this stubborn ass and let people help for real.” Hunter turns to me again and leans an elbow on the fence.
“Second chances aren’t easy. Sometimes they’re harder than the first go-round.
You’re under extra pressure. What if I fuck up worse?
Did I do it right? Is it enough to make up for me being a shit head before?
” I press my lips together at Hunter’s bluntness.
“The point is, Dane, it’s never easy, and when you get a second chance at anything, it’s human nature to want it better.
My son deserves happiness, and so do you. I have an offer to make it better.”
“An offer?”
“If the rodeo thing doesn’t work out, I have a proposition for you.”
I pause and think of Warren and his rabbits, how he came to rescue me from the bottle last night and has done so much to help me. Not with charity, like I want to believe. No, he wants to because he loves me. I really like the way he loves me.
“Okay. I’m listening.”
When Hunter finishes with his offer, he waits as I digest it all. It’s a lot, and I’m truly overwhelmed, but what he said earlier about second chances keeps bouncing around in my head.
“I accept.”
His grin brings out extra lines around his eyes. “Excellent choice. Now let’s get into the house in time for Clarence. That kid is a stickler for being prompt. Warren is probably antsy that we’ve been gone so long, too.”
We turn to walk to the farmhouse.
“I’ll admit I was scared you might have a gun when we first came out here.”
“What makes you think I don’t?”
My feet stumble, but Hunter’s strong hand grips my elbow. His laugh booms in the ranch yard, and he eventually releases my elbow.
“You’re gonna be all right, kid. Maybe next time ask about a weapon before leaving with someone, though.”
Hunter’s grin is just as mischievous as Warren’s. It’s probably better that I don’t know if he’s joking. I have enough to worry about.