Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ROSE
I can’t believe this is happening.
I thought this was as bad as it could get, but this?
Someone out there, someone I know, trying to hurt me?
Not trying . They did. In so many ways.
But why? I try to be kind to everyone, even that awful Diem. I don’t brag about my accomplishments. There are no contentious relationships in my past. No one I’ve wronged, at least that I know of.
Is there really someone who hates me that much?
I can’t believe it. But it’s happening.
A lump lodges halfway up my throat. My eyes burn. My nose prickles.
“What about your ex?” Ian’s voice is calm, but there’s a tension behind his words. His hand is rigid around mine. “Was he upset when you ended things?”
“Um.” I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around this. “I don’t… No. I mean. He didn’t seem like it.”
“How long ago was that?” Finn asks. He has a stylus out and ready to jot down my answer on his tablet. “And how long were you together?”
“Six months ago. But it wasn’t serious. We never… And I only saw him for a few months. We weren’t a good fit.”
“And you broke up with him? Or the other way around?”
Heat fills my cheeks. Ian knows about James, but talking about relationships in front of two people I don’t really know…
“I know it’s uncomfortable,” Zane tells me kindly. “We have to ask so we can best protect you.”
“I did. But it really wasn’t serious. I only saw him every couple of weeks. Both of us were busy. I can’t imagine, though… James wasn’t right for me, but he was nice. And he wasn’t upset when I ended things. He said he understood. Wished me luck.”
A shared glance passes between the men, followed by a series of raised eyebrows and tiny chin lifts. “He may have said that,” starts Finn, “but?—”
“You’ll look into him.” Ian states it flatly, cutting Finn off.
“Of course,” Finn agrees. His forehead creases. “If you can just tell me everything you know about James, I’ll get it to Leo.”
So I do, dredging up every small detail I can think of. And it feels icky and uncomfortable and all I really want to do is run into Ian’s bedroom and hide under the covers so I can pretend none of this is happening.
But that’s not all. Then Ian throws out Diem as a possible suspect. “This woman is directly benefiting from Rose’s injury. If Rose wasn’t hurt, she wouldn’t have gotten that show at the gallery.”
“But to break my hand?” I turn to Ian. “She’s an artist. She knows what could happen. Even if she was jealous, to ruin my entire career ?” Tears are pressing at the back of my eyes, and my voice wobbles dangerously. “I just can’t?—”
“I’m sorry, Rose. But we have to consider it.”
I know he’s right. But it sucks.
And it sucks telling them about all the other artists in competition with me. Not unpleasant ones, like Diem, but people I actually like .
As I talk for what feels like hours, Ian’s gaze never leaves me. Worried. Gentle. Caring. Each time my voice cracks, he rubs my arm or my neck or he gives me a kiss on my head and says things like you’re doing great and not too much longer and it’s going to be okay .
Just as I’m trying to recall the last name of the painter who worked in the studio next to mine, Ian interrupts me. “I think Rose is done for now.”
“But.” I blink at him. “I’m not done?—”
“You can think about it later.” His tone leaves no room for arguing. To Zane and Finn, he explains, “She’s exhausted. After last night…”
Zane nods, understanding. “Of course.” His gaze shifts to mine, softening. “I’m sorry, Rose. You’ve been doing so well, I didn’t think to stop you. But Ian’s right. We have plenty to start with. You can take some time later, get us any other names you think of.”
Part of me is thankful for the brief reprieve; the other just wants to get this over with. But I can feel the tether on my tears fraying, and it’s only a matter of time before it breaks. And if I am going to cry, I’d rather it not be in front of Finn and Zane, no matter how nice they are.
“So the other part is protection.” Finn leans forward in his seat and meets my gaze. “Given everything that’s happened, we feel that staying at your apartment alone wouldn’t be a good idea. Even with added security, there are too many—” He stops. “Anyway. We could assign someone to be with you twenty-four-seven. Or we can move you someplace safer.”
Going back to my apartment doesn’t sound great to me either, but given my finances, I’m not sure a hotel would be a good idea. “Where would I go?”
“We have an apartment at Blade and Arrow,” Zane answers. “It’s used for clients. Friends. Family. You’ll be protected there…” He trails off and casts a meaningful look at Ian.
“No.” Ian’s quick to answer. “Rose can stay with me. We can add some security here, and I can protect her.”
My heart jumps. Stay with Ian? I want to, but would it be a good idea?
“What about the gym?” asks Finn.
“I’ll bring Rose with me. She can sit in on my classes. And I have Chris there as backup. Plus, all the other trainers will keep an eye out for anything suspicious.” There’s no hesitation, like he’s already planned all this out.
“That would work.” Zane glances back at me. “But what do you think, Rose?”
“I…” My words catch in my throat. I want to say yes, but I’m worried. Is it too soon? Ian’s already dealing with all the crap going on in my life. If I move in with him… will it be too much? Will I ruin this amazing thing between us by rushing him?
“If you don’t want to…” Hurt flickers in Ian’s eyes, but he quickly hides it. “If you think the apartment at B and A would be better?—”
“It’s not that.” My heart starts beating hard. “I just—” Heat floods to my cheeks. “I don’t… I’m…”
I don’t want to explain my conflicted feelings in front of Ian’s friends.
“You know, we don’t have to decide right this second,” announces Zane. He stands and exchanges a quick glance with Finn. “We can get all this info to Leo. Think about it, Rose. Let us know sometime today, so we can make arrangements.”
A few minutes later, Ian and I are alone again.
Once he sees Finn and Zane out, he sits back down on the couch beside me. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. Tiny lines etch across his forehead. “I thought you might rather be here than at an apartment in a place you don’t really know. But if you don’t want?—”
“It’s not that.” There’s that lump in my throat again, but now it’s there because I realize I hurt him. Ian offering up his house, asking me to stay… it’s no small thing for him. “It’s not that I don’t want to stay, Ian. I’m just… I’m scared.”
“Scared? Why?” He pauses. “Of me ?”
“No. No .” I catch his hand, clasping mine around it. “I’m scared it’ll be too much. Too fast. I don’t want you to feel responsible for everything. Already… it’s a lot, Ian. This is supposed to be the fun, easy time in our relationship. And you’ve had to do so much for me?—”
“I don’t have to, Rose. I want to.”
“But if I live here… it hasn’t been that long. What if…”
What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do about him?
“What if what, Rose?”
“What if I ruin things?” Those stupid tears are right there , and I blink them away furiously. “I really like you, Ian. I don’t want to push. You’re the best—” My voice breaks. “I can’t. I can’t let this person ruin what we have.”
“Hun…” Ian touches my cheek, and his finger comes away wet. “It’s not like that.”
Emotion is swelling up, thick and choking. Everything I’ve been shoving back is surging forward, trying to escape.
“I can’t screw this up. I can’t. Everything else is… I can deal with my hand. And my career possibly being over. And the nightmares. The fear.” My voice rises as I go on. “I can handle it. I can. But with you… ”
“Ah, honey.” He cups my cheek, brushing away more tears.
“I don’t want to ruin this.” And now I’m full-on crying.
His voice is gentle. Soothing. “You’re not. You won’t.”
Between small sobs and sniffles, I stutter out, “I had it all planned… Last night. I was going to make dinner… and have wine, and cannolis, and I had a really pretty dress. I wanted us to make love. And it all got ruined.”
“Oh, Rose .” Gathering me in his arms, Ian lifts me onto his lap. His eyes are pained.
“Don’t you see? I can’t let this person ruin everything. Especially not… what I feel… for you. I can’t.”
“They won’t.” His hand cups my cheek, thumb brushing at the wetness there. “They can’t.” A pause, and then, “Nothing could scare me away from you.”
Gaze intense, dark with emotion, he continues, “You’re special, Rose. I never thought… I wasn’t looking for anyone. I didn’t think I wanted it. But with you? You’re everything I want. Everything I need.”
In a small voice, I ask, “I am?”
“Yes, my sweet Rose. I know it hasn’t been long, but I’m sure. Yes, I want to protect you, because I care about you.” He swallows hard. “A lot. And I want you here.”
Oh . Hope kindles. “You do?”
“Yes. I do. But—” His eyes turn a stormy blue. “Do you want to stay?”
Warmth expands inside me—relief and happiness and breathless anticipation—and I twine my arms around Ian’s neck. “Yes. I really do.”
An exhaled breath ruffles my hair, followed by lips pressing softly at my crown. “Okay. Good.” Relief tinges Ian’s voice. “I’ll make sure you’re comfortable here. Anything you need, just tell me. I’ll make it happen.”
Tilting my head back to meet his gaze, I reply honestly, “The only thing I need here is you.”
Emotion moves across his face, and for a moment, his vulnerability is exposed. “Ah, Rose.” He swallows hard. “I just?—”
But whatever he’s about to say is interrupted by a wet nose nudging at my arm. Baxter wedges his fuzzy face between us, for the first time ignoring Ian and focusing on me. Then he stretches up and licks my face, which is both sweet and kind of gross at the same time.
“Baxter!” Ian scolds. “Don’t lick Rose’s face.” He wipes at the damp spot on my face, adding apologetically, “Sorry, hun. I think he could tell you were upset.”
“It’s okay.” I pat Baxter’s head, and he gives me a happy, doggie-smile. “I don’t mind.”
Ian stares at me for a second; his gaze assessing. Something he sees in my face makes his brow furrow, and he says, “You need some rest, hun. Before we figure out any of this moving in stuff.”
Teasingly, I ask, “Are you saying I look tired?” Tired is actually a massive understatement. After getting almost no sleep last night, I’m exhausted.
“No.” It’s a quick denial. “Of course not. You look beautiful.”
His answer pulls out a small laugh. “It’s fine. I know how I look.”
“Rose. I mean it. You’re beautiful. But I know you’re tired. And I don’t want you getting sick.”
“Maybe after I get all my things? Then I could take a nap.”
Ian brushes a kiss across my lips, then cuddles me against his chest. “Or take a nap first. And then I’ll ask some of my friends to go over with us to help.”
“Well—” A giant yawn nearly cracks my jaw. “Maybe a nap first. But later, maybe we could have the casserole? And the cannolis? And…” My eyes widen hopefully. “Other stuff?”
A smile brightens his face. “Tonight, if you’re feeling up to it. Definitely soon.”
“Okay.” Resting my head on Ian’s chest, I let my eyes close for a second. My voice slurs as I add, “After my nap.”
“Do you want to go to the bedroom, hun?” Another kiss presses to the top of my head.
I could. But it feels so good here, wrapped in Ian’s embrace; the one place in the world I feel safe. I murmur sleepily, “Can I just… stay here for a minute?”
“Of course you can.” My eyelids drift down as Ian strokes my hair and murmurs, “Rose. You can stay as long as you want.”