Chapter 21 #2
He sipped wine and thought my question through. “ Personally ? I’ve never been the underdog.”
“ Not even when you prospected?” KC regaled me with stories of his torture during that phase. He was drunk, of course. And Bear wasn’t too pleased with him but I found it enlightening.
Bear’s beard shifted. “ It’s been a bit since I was that asshole.”
His cursing attracted more attention. And he noticed this time.
“ Fuck off and mind your own business.”
One of the groups whispered louder, their heads clustered together as they plotted Bear’s demise.
He shifted in his seat to address them directly.
“ Listen up, Buttercup , I own half this town. Me and everyone who puts on this vest.” He tugged at it, emphasizing the name tag that proudly announced him as “ Bear .” “ Gape all you want, but I can buy you, your place of employment, and even the fucking church you attend every third Sunday . You might wanna think about that before you talk anymore shit about me and my woman here.”
Great . He looped me into the circus. I rolled my head on my neck to work the tension free, then plastered on a sappy smile to grace him with. I even mouthed a perfidious, “ I love you” at him.
He winked at me and mouthed back an exaggerated lie. Then he tacked on “witch” into his beard.
That was more like it. I didn’t have to pretend the blush or the grin I tried to hide. He did like me, but not in the stupidly normal way that would drive me into insanity someday. Nope , this was unwholesome and wicked. Luckily , our food arrived and people stopped staring so blatantly.
And for all his bossiness, he got the order right. The food was amazing. The wine bottle ran dry about the same time I straightened my utensils in a cluster and placed my napkin to the side. The waiter fussed a bit then let us be in that short window between meal and check.
“ I was upstairs figuring out how to untie that damn cilice. And you bellowed at me about tampons.”
His eyebrow went up. He set his napkin down and mirrored my arrangement of utensils. The waiter came and fussed some more, suggesting dessert or coffees. Bear asked for the check. As soon as the server was out of earshot, he nodded to me to continue.
I double-checked to see if anyone was still eavesdropping.
Most of the restaurant had cleared out of our section, not wanting to linger around the big bad Bear .
“ Carl has a stash point behind his toilet. I grabbed.” I shrugged, trying to remember why it had been so important.
Beth’s hollow eyes flashed through my thoughts, nudging me to speak.
“ Beth , his sister, is going through her second battle with cancer. I started growing my hair when she got it the first time. By the time she beat it, it wasn’t long enough. ”
I laughed, silently and bitterly. My nose stung with the memories. “ She got better. We all thought that the chemo and stupid prayers fixed her.”
I closed my eyes, remembering that horrible time.
I’d been on the precipice of returning to the fold.
For her. Luckily , science and healthcare intervened and I was free to continue exploring who I was and what I wanted out of life.
“ Three months ago, she found the first swollen lymph node. Within four weeks, it became more than one, and she started losing weight. Then she got sick. Really sick. I moved back to help her and John .” My head shook back and forth without any will behind it.
“ Carl’s a perfect match for donation. We all knew this the last time.
But no one wanted anything to do with him because of—” The waiter arrived with Bear’s card and discreetly set the leather folder beside his elbow before slipping away.
I swallowed the pain. “ She’d gotten better.
Then … wham, so much worse. Because he’d already been tested years ago, the medical team suggested she pursue the stem cell donation.
But Carl wouldn’t listen to anyone. Except me.
I wouldn’t have been at Carl’s otherwise.
Trust me when I say that. I wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing .”
Bear shifted to sign the check and held the binder up for the waiter to grab. But he made no move to gather his coat or anything. Instead , he took another sip of wine and silently encouraged me to do the same.
I drained the glass. “ I took the money so he’d have to come back, just in case the donation didn’t work.
I’m bound to this. So , I can’t.” I can’t give you the money.
“ You are justified for getting angry with me about this. But I’m not going to back down.
” I stared at the table to hide my sad frown.
I knew I was hurting him and the people he cared about.
I knew stealing from Carl was a long shot, and likely would make me a bigger target for his evil.
But if Beth got better, then it was all…
Well , evil would do some good for a change. Was it worth it? Maybe not. But hope and love were fickle things. Hard to shake, and even harder to hold onto.