CHAPTER 12 Improving
He finished the tea and sandwiches then returned to Elizabeth’s room and fed her again an hour later.
She finished the broth and drank the tea then appeared to sleep more soundly than before.
The doctor returned and pronounced - guardedly - that Elizabeth had improved.
Darcy remained at Hunsford till late evening, still beside her and holding her hand.
At one point Mr. Collins returned home, sat with him and attempted to make conversation.
“Lady Catherine is not happy with your plans to marry Miss Elizabeth,” he said.
He wished to berate the man but did not want to be asked to leave. Therefore he settled for giving Collins such a cold stare that the man thankfully said no more on the matter, and eventually left the room.
Jane Bennet also sat with him for some time, doing some embroidery. She sat a little behind him and occasionally left the room in order to allow him more time with Elizabeth. And while he was alone with her, he was able to say things that he hoped would generally soothe her.
At one point, so tired from lack of sleep, he said truthfully to Elizabeth, “I love you. Even if you never accept me. I shall always love you.” He was so weary, it seemed, that he lost his ability to filter his words. Perhaps that was why he had been so honest over the past few days.
Some time close to midnight he was awakened by Charlotte Collins who put a hand on his shoulder and told him it was time to return home.
“You have done all you can, Mr. Darcy. And the doctor says she will be well. I shall stay with Lizzy now. And perhaps you may call again in the morning.”
He looked questioningly at her and she added, “Yes, the doctor is nearly certain she shall be well. Her fever is much lower and she is sleeping soundly.”
He blinked, as she smiled reassuringly at him.
“Well then…I shall take my leave.” He stood up and stretched his limbs. “Goodnight, then, Mrs. Collins.”
“Goodnight, Mr. Darcy.”
He walked down the stairs and out of the house, then stood at the front garden and stared up at her room.
The light was gone, now, so Charlotte Collins must have put out the candles.
It felt strange to be leaving her, after having spent so many hours by her side.
He did not like this uncertainty, the knowledge that something might change and that he would not be there for it.
If he could, he would simply have slept in the garden.
He wished to remain nearby till there was absolutely no doubt that she would be well.
But unfortunately that was not possible.
Thus, he walked along the dark lane to Rosings, wondering how early he could return the following morning.
Once there, he was let in by the Mr. Cullen, went straight to his room and fell upon the bed, waving even his valet away.
He awoke at dawn, removed his boots, then fell back into bed again. For once he slept but did not dream.
When he awoke the next morning, it was already past ten (more than two hours beyond his usual time to rise.) He called for his valet, was shaved and dressed then went down to the breakfast parlour. Everyone else was already there.
“Darcy,” said Lady Catherine, “you are up late. Does this have anything to do with your spending the whole of yesterday at the parsonage?”
“You know it does, Aunt,” he said wearily.
“Well, Mr. Collins has already come and gone. And he says that Miss Elizabeth has awakened.”
“Oh, has she, Mother?” said Anne. “I am glad to hear it.”
“You do not seem to mind, Daughter,” said Lady Catherine, “that Darcy is abandoning you in favour of a lady who is so far beneath you.”
“Oh I do not mind, Mother. For it was I who abandoned Darcy, if you will recall.” She gave him a sidelong glance and a wink.
“Well then,” said Bingley, “shall we call at the parsonage today?”
“Making progress with the lovely Miss Bennet, are we?” asked Richard.
Bingley blushed but only smiled and began to eat his food more rapidly.
Darcy, on the other hand, was not certain he wished to go at all. For Elizabeth had not really seen him since the day he proposed. And he imagined that her opinion of him remained the same. Nor did he wish to impede her recovery.
“Perhaps…I shall call tomorrow,” he said eventually.
“Tomorrow!” said Richard. “You have been there, literally, night and day. And now that she is better, you decide to stay away? Whatever for?”
“I cannot explain it,” he mumbled.
“Oh leave him alone, Richard,” said Lady Catherine. “If he wishes to stay at Rosings then let him stay at Rosings.”
“Well, I for one am going,” said Bingley. “And I advise you to do the same, Darcy.”
Lady Catherine gave Bingley a disapproving look but he simply ignored it and smiled at her.
Half an hour later, Darcy sat in the drawing room with Lady Catherine and Mrs. Jenkinson and attempted to distract himself.
Eventually, Lady Catherine, who had noticed his distraction, said, “Well if you must go, then go, Darcy!”
“What do you mean, Aunt?”
“You have hardly heard a word I said!”
“I am sorry, Aunt, I shall try to attend.”
“Well, do not put yourself out on my account.”
He looked at his indignant aunt and thought how well she took the news that he was in love with a woman other than her daughter. And she never actually complained that he had spent so much time at the parsonage the day before.
He suddenly stood up, walked over to Lady Catherine and kissed her on the cheek. Mrs. Jenkinson turned away slightly but he saw that she was smiling.
“What is the meaning of this, Darcy?” asked Lady Catherine. “What has gotten into you?” Though her words were stern, she was actually looking at him with a fond smile.
“I am not certain what has gotten into me,” he replied softly. “But I appreciate your forbearance…about everything. And your willingness to house both my friend and my physician. Also, thank you for being there for Georgiana and myself in place of our mother.”
Lady Catherine looked slightly tearful as she said, “I have always loved you as a son.”
“I know.”
They were quiet for some time and Darcy noticed that the sun was now in the centre of the sky.
“I do not see,” said Lady Catherine at length, “why you do not call on her. Now that she is better, I would think that you would.”
“True but…she did turn down my offer of marriage…”
“You proposed?” asked Lady Catherine.
“Yes, you did not know?” responded Darcy, thinking that his aunt was the only one who did not know of it. And now both she and Mrs. Jenkinson knew. “Yes, I proposed shortly before she became ill.”
“So then what? Should you not have even more reason to see her?”
Darcy grimaced. “The thing is, Aunt, she refused me.”
“She refused you! But…you are such a kind, handsome and generous boy. How could she?”
“Miss Elizabeth does not seem to think so. You see, I insulted her during my proposal.” He went one to describe his disastrous proposal in greater detail. Strange, that he should make Lady Catherine of all people his confidant.
“Those objections,” said Lady Catherine, “were natural and just. And Miss Bennet should have realised that. Although…as proposals go, it was rather insulting.”
“You see what I mean, then.”
“But you have already spent quite a bit of time there over the past few days. Therefore, I assume she thinks better of you.”
“But she was not awake, you see, during these visits.”
“Not awake!”
Darcy nodded, feeling forlorn. “But now that she is awake, I fear that she will not wish to see me.”
“Perhaps you are simply being maudlin due to lack of sleep,” said Lady Catherine.
“I do not think that it is simply a matter of sleep, Aunt. Although…she has said my name on occasion, particularly during her fever.”
Darcy went on to describe to his aunt how Elizabeth called out his name at times and how he assisted her to eat and drink.
“I simply cannot be certain of anything…at this point,” he said. “Perhaps it is the lack of sleep that has addled my senses…and clouded my judgment.”
“Well then, you have my permission to return to bed. Or…even go to the parsonage if it is your wish…”
“Thank you, Aunt,” he said slowly, “perhaps I will return to bed.”
“You are not becoming ill, are you?”
“No, simply tired.”
“You do not wish to go to the parsonage?”
“No,” he answered, feeling infinitely weary. “I believe I am no longer needed there.”
He left Lady Catherine and Mrs. Jenkinson, returned to his room, and, for the second time that day, fell into bed with his boots still on.
Some time later that afternoon, he was awakened by the sound of a throat being cleared somewhere within his room. He opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to see Richard sitting in an armchair a few feet away from his bed.
“Miss Elizabeth is awake,” he said.
“Yes, Mr. Collins told us so earlier. Did you see her?”
“Of course not. She was still too weak to go downstairs. But the point is she was significantly better.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
“Will you not go and see her?”
“I suppose I will. Perhaps tomorrow. Or the day after.”
“Tomorrow! But you have been with her night and day! Why should you stop coming now?”
Darcy shrugged. “Because…she turned down my offer of marriage.”
“So now you shall simply give up, after everything you have done for her?”
“No, of course not! But I am simply giving her a chance…to recuperate. Without any interference from me.”
Richard nodded slowly. “But do you not think that your presence will help in her recovery?”
Darcy sighed. “It may. But it may also hinder it. And I will not risk it.”