7. Seraphina
7
Seraphina
Six months later
For six months, I’ve been playing girlfriend in public and secretly dying on the inside. I put on a facade, pretending I’m okay with everyone else while keeping myself distant. I have no friends anymore, no confidants. My sisters were disgusted with my apparent decision to give Mitch another chance, and my brother, Rafe, was equally as confused.
They sat me down, confronted me, and asked me if I needed to speak to someone about my mental state. I pretended I was okay and presented the calm, quiet Sera that they’re so used to when what I really feel like doing is screaming and tearing something apart.
And that’s how I got here, lying against my pillows while my sister attempts to talk me into going to a backyard barbecue at her boyfriend’s house in honor of our brother and his decision to enlist in the Marines.
“Aves, it’s not that I don’t want to come. It’s that I don’t think I should come.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I survived a knife attack, Celeste went through hell, and Serena basically kicked her father’s ass single-handedly, with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.”
“Ava, no, I didn’t. I don’t even smoke cigarettes,” Serena’s voice sounds out in the background.
“That’s beside the point. Ser, Rafe leaves in a few months for basic training. This may be the last time that all of us will be able to get together before he leaves.”
I look at the ceiling, dismissing my sister’s words. My parents are throwing a going away party for him before he leaves, plus Ava comes home for Sunday dinner once a month with Greyson, so we see each other regularly.
“Do it for our country, Sera. ‘The red, the white, the blue,’” she sings, taunting me with an off-key rendition of “Do It for Our Country.”
“Whoever let you watch Grease 2 should be banished to hell.”
“Now that you mention it, our redheaded wonder is familiar with hell.” Ava pauses to yell, “C, Sera said you need to go back to hell.” She laughs before continuing in a lower voice, “Back to the topic at hand. You are coming on Saturday. Lincoln doesn’t care.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat at the mention of Lincoln. Our month and a half of friendship comes crashing back at his name, and I shut my eyes, willing away the discomfort.
“I didn’t say Lincoln was the reason I didn’t want to come.”
“Okay, then Mitch isn’t invited.”
“Ava.” I sigh. “Mitch isn’t the reason either.”
“Okay, then it’s you. I’ve made the decision. I hereby declare Seraphina Rose will be in attendance on Saturday for a barbecue.”
I can’t help the laugh that spills out of me. “You’re impossible, Ava.”
I can hear the smile in her voice when she replies, “And that’s why you love me. Speaking of Mitchy, how is he?”
Twisting my lips, I consider how best to answer. The last thing I want to do is talk about Mitch. “He’s fine,” I offer because, really, what else can I say?
“Okay then.”
“And how’s Greyson?”
“Well, I thought you’d never ask.” I hear the sound of ice clinking before she continues, “He got an apadravya piercing a few weeks ago.”
I furrow my brows, turning the word over in my mind until knowledge strikes me. “Ava… is that what I think it is?”
“If you think it’s a piercing that goes straight through the tip of his dick, then yes.”
I let out a cough, choking on her words. “Jesus Christ, why would you tell me that? Aren’t you with CeCe and Serena right now? They don’t need to know that.”
“Sera, save us,” CeCe calls from the background, and my sister shushes her words.
“Don’t be such prudes. Anyway, the guys are picking us up soon. I need to finish getting ready before we head out tonight. Make sure you bring B and Rafe with you when you come this weekend. Leave Mitch at home though?”
“Ava,” I groan.
“Fine, fine. Bring that little dickhead. But Sera, if he says anything I don’t like, I’m going to make Greyson beat his ass.”
“You’re really enticing me to come, I have to say.”
“Stop bitching. Now, I really have to go. Love you, bye.” She hangs up without waiting for my reply and wreaks havoc on her friends, her boyfriend, or whichever small community they’re visiting today.
I love my sister, both of my sisters, but sometimes they’re overpowering.
Sighing, I drop my head against my headboard and look to my ceiling as though it will show me what to do.
Unsurprisingly, it’s as blank as the plaster above my bed.
The last time I saw Lincoln, I had a bite on my neck from the best kiss I’ve ever received. But every time I see Mitch, I want to vomit. My skin becomes cold, my pulse quickens in dread, and I feel an overwhelming sense of unease that won’t seem to go away.
—
“Fin, sit on my lap.”
“What? No. There are plenty of chairs around the fire pit. Why do I need to sit in your lap?”
Mitch’s hold on my hand tightens, causing shivers of discomfort to travel up my arm. “Seraphina, do as you’re told. Now, sit with me.” His hand continues to exert pressure until my body collides with his. I try to keep myself upright, in a perched position on his lap, but Mitch refuses to let me put any distance between us. I’m not sure if this sudden display of possessiveness is for me or for the group scattered throughout Greyson, Dante, and Lincoln’s yard, but it makes me uneasy.
“Mitch, you’re hurting me,” I whisper, turning my head so that no one can hear my words. “Let go.”
Though his smug face offers a smile, his mouth is tight. “Relax now, Fin.” His order is enunciated by the increased pain he’s inflicting. Like a puppet, I lean back into him, willing my body to relax when all I want to do is flee. “Good girl.”
My body shudders, though not in the way Mitch probably interprets. He releases his grip and lets his fingers coast along my outer thigh. It takes everything in me not to shift away from his touch.
I become distracted, letting the conversation flow around me until the weight of a gaze presses into my chest. I don’t need to look up to know that Lincoln’s eyes are on me, but like a masochist, I do. The bright green of his eyes glows as he stares at me like he’s drinking my form in. I allow my gaze to run over his perfectly chiseled face, the tattoos on display on his neck, forearms, and legs, and the scowl marring his full mouth.
He looks pissed.
Glancing down, I let embarrassment settle over me. I shouldn’t have come here, despite what Ava said.
I zone out of the conversation until Mitch’s voice breaks in. “We’re staying at a STEM camp this summer with the guys. My parents arranged it.”
Whipping my head around, I shake my head emphatically. “I’m going to work in the library for a few more months while I’m home instead of spending the summer at a camp in Pennsylvania with people from high school I don’t want to see anymore.” Last month, I accepted a clerical position at the county library, and though it’s time-consuming, I love getting lost in the stacks of books.
His face grows red as I talk. “No, Fin, we’re doing the camp. My parents got us a cabin with Rich and Cory, remember?”
Narrowing my eyes, I prepare for a fight. “I already accepted the position at the library.”
“You’ll have to tell them you can’t do it.”
“No, I—” He doesn’t let me finish. His fingers pinch my skin, cutting off any protest I had in me. Pain engulfs me as his fingers twist. Looking down, I see red on my skin, and my vision turns hazy. Giving in to his manipulation for a moment, I mutter, “Of course,” to get him to release my skin. In my peripheral, I see Lincoln get up from his seat by the fire pit.
I don’t know what’s going on with Mitch or why he’s being so physical right now, but I know I need to get away from him. After a minute, I excuse myself from the group, claiming I need to use the restroom. I feel the angry blue stare of Mitch on my back, but I ignore it as I slip through the side door.
“Lincoln,” I call out, biting my lip as I wait for him to turn around. I don’t realize that I’m holding my breath until he turns around and devotes all his focus to me. “Why aren’t you talking to me?” I blurt out, grimacing as soon as the words leave my mouth.
I know why he’s not talking to me; it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.
“Didn’t know I was allowed to. Mitch the Dick seems to be making all the decisions for you.”
I can’t hide the frown that tugs on my lips at his words, at his tone.
“That’s not fair,” I volley back.
“Not fair? Seraphina, he’s answering every question for you. You can’t even work at a goddamn library this summer because his mommy and daddy paid for a cabin in the woods, which sounds like the start of a fucked-up horror film. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you with him?”
He’s not wrong; a cabin in the woods sounds horrible. He doesn’t know that I have no plans of going and that I don’t want to be here with Mitch. So what can I expect Lincoln’s reaction to be? “Lincoln, it’s not that simple.”
One moment, he’s on the other side of the room, and the next, my jaw is cradled in his large, rough hand. His touch is light, a stark contrast to the bruises yet to form on my skin from Mitch’s pinches. His voice drops, a mere whisper of sound. “It is that simple. Why is he here?”
I don’t know if it’s the warmth from his hand or that I’ve finally reached my breaking point, but I open my mouth to tell him everything: the threat to my parents, Mitch’s family’s blackmail, and the pressure I feel to keep everything together when I’m so close to falling apart. But I don’t have a chance.
Just as I open my mouth, Mitch’s voice rings out, his tone cold and angry. “Fin, where are you?”
Lincoln shuts down as soon as he hears his voice. Dropping his hand, he steps back, flexing his fingers in protest.
“I’m sorry, Lincoln.” I want to scream, but I settle for a murmur.
“Me too, Sera,” he mutters with a shake of his head as he turns on his heels and walks up the stairs.