Chapter 10 #2
The sun warmed me, a gentle embrace, but I was grateful beyond words for the baseball cap. Hopefully the brim would keep me from getting a bright red nose, but I couldn’t even say I would mind the price in exchange for the moments of stolen peace.
Jeremy guided the boat into position then set the oars aside. We drifted in the quiet together, the sounds of the city barely a whisper around us.
The moment stretched timeless, as if everything I recently experienced could be put away for a while and we could just breathe together.
I sighed, thinking the water had that ability—to erase everything but peace.
I could see why they spent so much time swimming or in the water.
I inhaled again, finding something inherently good about the place and the moment.
He asked softly, “So what were you going to say before? I haven’t forgotten.”
I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply through my nose. My lips curled into a smile despite my intention to keep my expression neutral. I doubted very much that Jeremy ever missed a beat. “I didn’t say it because it was sort of judgy, so I chose to keep my thoughts to myself.”
Jeremy lifted his eyebrows, a slight smile curling his handsome lips. “Judgy? Now I for sure need to know what you were going to say.”
I sighed. “Look, I don’t know your parents.
I’ve never met them, but I get that your life is very different from mine.
I really have no right to pass any judgment on them or their choices at all.
Despite those obvious facts, when you guys talk about your parents, you sound like you can’t wait to get away from them.
Of course, that makes me wonder what they could’ve done to make you so pissed.
Maybe they’re horrific? Although Julian seemed to love your mother. Only you know, but I …”
He sighed, holding up a hand to stop me. “You lost your parents and want me to remember that I still have mine.”
“We only get one set each, right?” I shrugged. “Feel free to ignore me, though.”
He shook his head. “Not everyone. Sometimes, we get more than one each.”
I supposed that could be true, so I conceded the point easily. “Sure. Stepmoms, stepdads, or whatever. Families come in all shapes and sizes.”
He almost laughed. “Right. I see why you would think that.” He nodded, as if I confirmed something for him.
“Your point is the same, and I get it. You’re right, I could lose them, and it probably would destroy me.
Granny lost her husband and his brothers in a car accident.
” He looked away, staring up at the sky.
“All together, one Sunday afternoon, a few years before I was born. I don’t know how it didn’t destroy her.
I know it hurt my father and his brothers. ”
I touched his arm. “It sounds like there’s a lot of men in your family, but I didn’t know that about your Granny.”
“She’ll tell you about it eventually, but yes, for several generations we’ve had nothing but boys. It’s just one of those things. Maybe we only produce male sperm.”
I giggled then covered my mouth. “Sorry, it’s so stupid but I’ve never heard anyone say the word sperm out loud outside of health class. It just sounds ridiculous.”
His smile grew, genuine amusement lighting up the remaining shadows in his gaze. “Well, if I knew all I had to do to make you giggle was to say sperm , I would’ve said it last night.”
We smiled at each other for a long moment, and it felt like I could fly. My heart thumped so hard, and such joy filled my chest, I could hardly breathe around it.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t take my family for granted. I’ll work on it.”
I sucked in a breath, reminded myself of his shoes, and bluntly I said, “So I know you play water polo, hook up with more girls than Julian, and don’t mind if people mistake you for your brother, but I don’t know much else yet about you.”
He leaned forward on his elbows, the boat shaking a bit, his face closer to mine and his body in my personal space. “Did he tell you that?”
I continued, ticking things off on my fingertips as if I made a list. “I know you’re not impressed with the library or the jazz club as dates, and I know you love the water.
I know that you notice everything. I’ve noticed you’re ambitious and responsible, a rule follower …
to an extent. I noticed that you were inclined to dislike me, but for some reason, you’ve changed your mind.
” I didn’t mention I wanted to know why he changed his mind.
I also didn’t mention how sweet he could be when he wanted.
I certainly didn’t mention how handsome or funny I found him.
“So, Jeremy, tell me other things about you.”
He nudged my foot with his own. “I’ll talk if you will. Let’s turn it into a game, sound fair? One truth for one truth, back and forth. How about that?”
I leaned forward on my own elbows, refusing to give up ground to him. “There has to be a time limit. We’ll get too personal otherwise.” Not to mention I could use the standards to protect myself if things started to get hairy.
“I like personal, but I see your point. Okay, ten minutes work? Afterward, we’ll go back to rowing so I can admire how beautiful you look in the sunlight.”
My cheeks heated up, and I swallowed, my mouth going dry at the heat in his too close gaze. “You’re pretty beautiful yourself.”
Wow . Did I just say that? Before I could guilt myself for being so honest, his slow smile rewarded me for my bravery before his growly voice answered, “Thank you, Alatheia.”
I took a deep breath, wondering if he could feel every single word I spoke on his skin … the way I seemed to feel his. “And now I’m thinking I might have made a huge mistake. You’re eventually going to make all of this blow up in my face, aren’t you?”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch lingering.
“I won’t. I’ll keep your secrets. I only play games when I have no choice.
I have no desire to play games with you.
You aren’t looking to hurt my family or destroy us.
I’ll admit, my initial response was defensive, but strangers always make me nervous.
” He leaned even closer, until I could practically feel his breath hot against my skin.
“There’s a truth. How’s that? My first one. Strangers make me nervous.”
I leaned back, my own breathing unsteady.
Somewhere nearby, a bird sang, but my heart thumped too fast and my skin flushed with heat.
I closed my eyes for a second before I decided what truth to give him in return.
Finally, I blurted, “I’m bad with people.
I understood them when I lived with my mom, I think.
I had friends then, and the few adults I knew liked me a lot, or that’s how I remember it.
Once I moved to the city, though, I learned rich people are a different breed of human.
One I can’t make sense of, no matter where in the world they pick for my city. ”
He nodded, his gaze locked on mine steadily. “I think I would feel like a fish out of water if I had to go live in your old life suddenly, too. I … I do have to lie sometimes. I don’t like to lie, but I’ll do it to protect people I love.”
Well, aren’t you interesting? “How can I tell if you are lying to me?”
“You wouldn’t know, because I’m good at it. We all are, truthfully. My whole family, we’re a bunch of big old liars. Still, I’ll admit neither I nor any of my brothers want to lie to you. That’s part B of my truth, actually.”
I rubbed my eyes. “Unless you’re lying about that,” I pointed out.
“I’m not.” He reached for my hand, his thumb brushing against my knuckles again and sizzling my flesh to life. “But I get that I just gave you lots of reasons to doubt me, especially since you don’t trust anyone easily.”
You knew he noticed almost everything. Still, it unnerved me for him to strip me so bare.
“Okay, so my turn for a truth. Um, I don’t know anything about my family, not really.
I know that my mom and dad took off, but I don’t know why.
My father died then we moved again. Eventually, after my mother died, I ended up placed with her family.
I look at my life as kind of having eras—a time before, with her, and the time after.
No one in my after knows anything about my before.
Whatever they do know about my mom and dad’s lives, they don’t choose to share it with me.
Due to that, I just … have a bunch of memories with no way to decode what any of it means or why it was. ”
Maybe I said too much? Before I second-guessed myself too badly, I decided I didn’t share anything he couldn’t learn by looking me up online. None of what he would find there would be about the true me, either, since nothing online connected me to Poor Relation .
Or the Big Lie . That isn’t online either .
“I wouldn’t trust anything your aunt said anyway.
She’s not a good person. If your mom took off to get away from her, she probably had a good reason.
” He looked away. “I can always tell. It’s part of what my mom calls my hyper-vigilance.
Was it my observation you called it? Anyway, I knew she wasn’t just drunk last night.
I would bet she is a mean bitch sober, too. ”
He wasn’t wrong, so I couldn’t defend her. Still, I knew from personal experience—it could be much worse than my current aunt. I didn’t intend to share that particular story in our game of truth, though, so I said, “Your truth, your turn.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair as if to shake loose a random fact. “I fucking hate water polo. I love the water, but I hate the game.”
A laugh gurgled out of me on my next exhalation. He chose such safe ground, a clear redirection from the unsafe territory I picked. “Then why do you play?”
“Because that is what we do . We excel at sports. Barrett golfs like a pro. He also rowed. Julian and I are water polo champions.”