Chapter 15
T he city continued to thump around us as my face throbbed, but neither Phoenix nor I said a word for a few long moments. Maybe, like me, he was just feeling particularly hopeless and couldn’t be bothered to pretend?
Finally, though, he cleared his throat. “So far, I haven’t seen you drink or do any drugs.
Despite the fact you could be prostituting yourself, I find it extremely unlikely.
I’ve spent a lot of time with prostitutes, and to be honest, you don’t have what it takes.
You haven’t stolen anything or committed any noticeable crimes that I’ve seen.
Why on Earth would they be trailing you? ”
“I don’t know.” My voice sounded small, even to my own ears.
I couldn’t muster up the strength to pretend in that moment, though, so I admitted, “I’m just their poor relation, so I honestly don’t know why anyone would waste the money.
They haven’t made any secret of their plans to send me to boarding school as soon as possible, and they guilt trip me over every bite I eat, so them spending money on a tail?
I … I just don’t know. I can’t make it make sense. ”
My head throbbed again, more insistent, so I placed my cool palm against it. I didn’t want to cry any more in front of Phoenix, not even from pain. He wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to trust with my weaknesses, despite them being bared to him regularly. He winced as he looked at me.
“Your poor face. You’re going to be black and blue. Stay here a second. Here, hold my board.” He didn’t wait for me to reply before he passed me his skateboard, one of the wheels still spinning.
The green crossing symbol had appeared on Fifth Avenue, so Phoenix rushed across the street.
I sighed. Despite following him without hesitation to catch the PI, I wasn’t sure if I could keep up with him normally, since he was all over the place.
I didn’t want anything more than to go home and ice my face, yet I would be forced to stand on the sidewalk holding a skateboard for who knew how long?
A few seconds passed, and a woman on her cell phone almost collided into me.
I sighed, shifting the board to my other hand.
I couldn’t just stand in the middle of the sidewalk, I would need to get out of the way.
I backed up a little bit, toward the nearest building rather than the road.
I forced myself to breathe, trying to remember the calming videos I looked up online one night for giggles.
If I lost my self-control and cried, I would never get my shit figured out, and I was tired of being in the dark.
Maybe the tail had to do with what happened in Chicago?
Were they worried I might … what? Seduce my uncle?
The only other possibility was that they might want to see if I told anyone about what happened, but I wasn’t even sure what difference that would make.
Just then Phoenix appeared across the street coming toward me, and I exhaled in relief. After the light turned, he jogged back to me, his hands filled. What is he holding?
When he approached, he handed me some ice in a paper towel.
“Hold this against your cheek. The vendor over there gave it to me. He’s a friend.
Also, this is for you.” He offered me a partially opened red rosebud, the slightest flush of peach touching its base.
“I just thought … maybe it would make you smile. You’re really going through something lately, and this is pretty. ”
A small plastic holder at the base of the stem held water, keeping the flower fresh as I twirled it in my fingertips. A faint fragrance drifted to my nose, momentarily lifting the weight off my aching heart as I touched the velvety petals against my lips.
I couldn’t speak right away, my throat clogged with emotion. “Thank you, Phoenix. This is the first time anyone has ever given me a flower.”
“Really?” He shook his head, surprise obvious on his handsome face. “That should be criminal. Gretchen the Poor Relation should have a word with you, but then again, she has it better than you do. This won’t be the last time you get a rose, Alatheia, I promise, but I’m glad I’m the first.”
I really looked at him for the first time since he’d rescued me on the street.
I didn’t think he’d slept or had been anywhere near a bed since I last saw him, since he still wore the same clothes.
I could faintly smell cigarettes on him, and his red rimmed eyes stared at me a little blearily.
I realized again how I’d jumped on his back, as though it was totally normal and not completely insane to ride on the back of his skateboard.
He was reckless, or I was stupid? Whichever the case, I couldn’t bring myself to care in the moment.
The ice helped my cheek immensely. Despite stinging at first, it quickly began to numb my bruised skin. I finally explained, “I wanted to get bagels for all of you. That’s why I left the building.”
“I could go for a bagel.” He nodded, as if agreeing to my plan. “Come on. Jump on my back again.”
Reason apparently failed me in that moment, because despite knowing it wasn’t safe or logical, I didn’t care, nor did I want to second guess myself for once.
I just wanted to ride behind him, holding the ice to my cheek and the rose to my heart in one hand, while I clung to him with the other as if he knew what to do next.
When we got to the shop, Phoenix bought the bagels, despite my objection. “I wanted to get you guys a surprise. To do something for all of you. You keep … doing things for me.”
He shrugged as we walked together back to the apartment building. “We’re super rich. Don’t fret about it. We never do.” I glanced at my ice, which had begun to melt and drip water on me, but he carried the bagels and board, so I didn’t want to pass it to him.
I already decided I would keep the rose, maybe pressed in a book or something. I would have to look it up, but I wanted to preserve it and the way I felt forever, if I could.
The doorman gave me a startled look when I entered, but Phoenix shook his head.
“I didn’t do it, Rick,” he called over his shoulder, as if the doorman might have suspected him.
“Ah, I didn’t think you had, Phoenix,” the man replied before clearing his throat. I glanced at Phoenix, a bit surprised he remembered the man’s name. Maybe it wasn’t just a Barrett thing, it might be a Lent thing.
I offered my hand to Rick. “I’m Alatheia.” Eventually, I needed to stop acting like I shouldn’t be there. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself before. I’m staying with my Aunt Tricia.”
Rick quickly reached out and took my hand, shaking it with a smile. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you officially.”
“Thanks for everything.”
Phoenix waited for me to catch up to him near the elevator. “Was that hard for you? To talk to someone you don’t know because you don’t know what they think of you? It used to be hard for me sometimes, I think.”
“How did you get over it?” My face started to throb again, but I resisted touching the no-doubt growing bruise.
He side-eyed me. “Who knows? Nothing good for me, probably, as that tends to be my way.”
Phoenix turned his key at his granny’s place, and I followed him inside. The silence in the apartment made me check the time on my phone. I blinked in surprise—it wasn’t even nine yet, though it felt like a lifetime had passed since I’d left.
I glanced at Phoenix, guessing I’d caught him on his way here to crash for the night. Instead of going home? I wondered. Maybe he didn’t think he wanted his brothers around, but he seemed to find his way back to them anyway.
They are a foursome. Where one goes, they all go.
He crossed in front of me as I noticed Jeremy asleep on the couch, on his stomach, with one arm dangling off the couch next to him.
I could hear the slightest snore coming from his open mouth.
Phoenix grinned at me over his shoulder before he disappeared into the kitchen, returning a second later without the bag of bagels.
I noticed he chewed one—an “everything,” if I wasn’t mistaken—and carried a fresh bag of ice for me.
He placed it on my cheek without saying a word, and I gratefully accepted the cool relief. Then he crossed to the sofa across from Jeremy. In a second, he spread himself out, arm curled behind his head, closed his eyes, and seemed to fall asleep with the bagel still in his hand.
Shifting from foot to foot, I wondered where the other Lent brothers might be hiding.
A glance in the maid’s room proved fruitless— no one was there— but I didn’t want to disturb Dina if she was resting in her room.
I stood there just like that until the ice started to melt when I quickly discarded it in the garbage can.
I guessed Julian and Barrett were in the guest room together, unless they’d left.
I decided if they weren’t in a common room, I wasn’t going to go check on them, considering anything other than the living room, kitchen, or dining room as her family’s private space.
Instead, I carefully perched on the loveseat and with the ice still on my cheek, then grabbed her notebook.
I wouldn’t type, since it might wake Jeremy and Phoenix, who both likely needed a few hours to sleep off the night before.
Still, I could read and then later be able to type it faster.
Anyway, I would rather work than think about my family, and realizing that made my stomach clench .
I didn’t know what to do really, and suddenly I felt terribly young, just a girl, lost in a huge world, and not even making new friends could save me from my monsters.
I wiped at my silent tears, wishing the truth was so easy to scrub away.
Either way, they wouldn’t do. Crying never fixed anything, and I didn’t want to blur the ink on the page with tears.
Forcing myself to concentrate, I began to read.
June 19 th , 1966