Chapter 24
H is words touched me, but I was afraid I had to spoil the moment. “No sunblock, which was dumb, but I’m going to burn if we don’t find shade.”
He widened his gaze. “Fuck. Okay. Let’s go. We can walk toward town and get a car from there. Sorry I didn’t think about it.”
“Not your job to think about my sunblock.” I kissed his chin. “Otherwise, I would stay here kissing you all day, if I could.”
Did I just say that? Heat flooded my cheeks, and I flinched, but he caught the expression and grinned at me. “I love that you said that. Come on. I would love to stay here all day kissing you, too, but I won’t let my redhead get too much sun.”
We turned to leave but he abruptly stopped me, putting his arm around my back. “Shit.”
I saw it then. A group of guys approached us, and I recognized one of them. The brother from New Jersey who Julian clocked the night before sported a black eye but otherwise didn’t look too hurt or upset.
In fact, he wore a big grin. So did the other two guys.
“Lent,” the one next to Jersey greeted us first. “This is quite a coincidence. Who’s your friend?”
Phoenix’s body felt strangely stiff and hard next to me. He wasn’t happy about the situation, which made me tense up, too. What is the problem?
“This is Alatheia,” Jersey answered for Phoenix. “Don’t say anything about her or Julian might appear out of nowhere and hit you in the eye.”
This made the first guy bounce on his feet. “Dude, is this the girl who got you hit in the eye? I love it. And it was Julian? He’s the nice one.”
I couldn’t help but remember Phoenix and Jeremy joking about the same thing the night before.
Finally, Phoenix spoke. “Don’t talk about my family.
Just don’t.” He visibly swallowed. “This is Alatheia. Alatheia, this is Jo and Randall.” Jo, the guy who sold him drugs right before the art museum?
The one Jeremy wanted to punch? I figured that was why Phoenix was so tense, but what were they doing there?
“Don’t talk about Alatheia, or to her, either. Let’s go.”
“Hold on,” Jo said and held up his hands. “You must be getting low. Want some more? I have it on me. We could take care of it right now.”
Jersey grinned. “And if you want to spot me some because, you know, your brother hit me, and it made my father go nuts, since I am obviously a pussy, that would be fine, too.”
Phoenix tilted his head. “You want to talk about this now? Here? In the middle of the beach, where anyone could see us? While I’m alone with Alatheia? Not happening, guys. Get your own drugs. Jo, I’ll talk to you later.”
He tugged my hand and led me away from his drug dealer, the kid from Jersey, the Randall guy. I hurried to keep up with him so he didn’t have to drag me.
We were walking back toward town before he spoke again. “I can’t believe that just happened.”
I grunted noncommittally. “You really weren’t happy to see them.”
He snorted. “That’s an understatement. No, I didn’t plan to run into them while I was alone with you.
They’re relatively good people, for drug dealers, and the kid douchebag we have to put up with every summer.
I mean they’re fine, I think? But things can go wrong.
There can be violence.” He winced. “I’m not letting anything like that happen to you.
” He stopped walking and pulled his hand back.
It trembled slightly, so he steadied it with his other hand.
“The last thing Barrett said to me was to keep you safe, and then that happens?”
I didn’t understand. “I didn’t feel threatened. I’m fine.”
“Right, but the implication was that you wouldn’t be safe with me. You are safe with me. I promise you that, Alatheia. You are.”
I believed him. Maybe it was senseless, maybe I was foolish, but I did. “I know that. I do.”
He pulled me into a tight hug, his scent enveloping me. “Sorry, I just ...” His voice trailed off.
It would have been easy for me to suggest he get help or stop or do whatever he had to do so that he didn’t have to have moments like that.
But, I wasn’t an idiot. Phoenix had to want it for himself, and I wouldn’t trivialize how hard that was going to be for him.
If it was simple, he probably would’ve stopped already.
“Whatever you are worried I might be thinking, I’m not.” I whispered in his ear. “So don’t worry. It’s been a beautiful day.”
He audibly let out a breath he must have been holding. “I worry about just about everything all the time.”
I knew the feeling. “It’s exhausting, right?”
“It is.” He smiled again. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten today?”
“We had a muffin earlier. I don’t know when I have to get ready for whatever we are doing tonight, so I don’t know if I should try to eat a real meal now or wait.”
He scrunched up his nose. “If you’re not hungry, wait another hour or two.
That way you’re not hungry at the Madison’s house.
They won’t have any food, I guarantee it.
Alcohol, yes. Food, no. We go to school with them, so I’m ashamed to admit I’ve looked inside their fridge at two in the morning. There was no food.”
I found the news interesting, but I wondered how they could be an empty fridge family. Why? What were the implications? Was it a weight control thing?
“Why don’t they have food?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. They might not eat at home, if they eat.
I actually know a lot of people who don’t eat at home.
We almost never do in the City. My parents are upstairs, while we’re in our apartment.
None of us can cook, so we go out or order in.
I guess that’s eating at home, right? Just bringing food in? ”
I never considered it much. “I think if you bring in the food, it still counts as eating at home.”
“Then I guess maybe twice a week, but maybe not that much going forward, because Barrett is leaving for school. He won’t be in the apartment as much, since he’ll be sleeping in his dorm.
He tends to be the one who stops and brings home food.
The twins have water polo, which keeps them out later.
I guess I’m eating by myself in the future. ”
That sounded awful. “Well, as long as I’m in the City, you can eat with me.”
“Yeah?” He gave me an easy smile and I got a peek at his dimple again. “Okay. Good.”
We walked together until he used his phone to get a car to come for us. Despite the traffic, one arrived quickly and we climbed in together.
After such a nice day, the sadness that usually haunted me because of the impermanence of my life struck me. I rested my head on his shoulder, hoping it wouldn’t bother him since he’d done it to me a couple of times. He kissed the top of my head before he leaned his own against mine.
“You okay?”
There was no point in trying to explain it. I had so little time with him. Why make it sad when we’d been so happy? “Yes. How about you?”
I took his trembling hand in mine and squeezed it. He squeezed back, warm and so safe next to me. “You sure?”
“Sometimes I just get like this? Normally, no one notices or cares, so I’m not used to having to explain it. I would rather just let it pass than give it any more power, if that’s okay? I know I get quiet, but I’m quiet most of the time anyway. The way I talk with the four of you is anomalous.”
He kissed the top of my head again. “We can be quiet together. It will be a joint quietness. What would we call that? Quiet companionship?”
I liked that. A lot. In fact, it made me smile.
When we finally got back to the cottage—the title still preposterous for their enormous estate—moving trucks seemed to be everywhere.
One group of men moved the furniture out of the house into a truck while another group hauled other furniture inside.
Another group of people were carrying in decorations and what looked like food preparations.
I smiled at Phoenix, gesturing to it all. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“A house party in the Hamptons? Yeah. There is one every weekend, but we need ours to be the best. It is, too, every year.”
He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it while we walked toward the front door.
“I should go back to your Granny’s. I’m her companion. I actually have stuff to do for her.”
“Okay. I’ll walk you there.” He motioned and I followed him.
“I guess your house isn’t a food-less house at parties?”
He shook his head. “No. My mother even stops whatever fad diet she is on for the occasion. I bet there are no aspects of her current vegan kick at the party.”
“She ate steak last night. She is not vegan all the time.” A thought dawned on me. “You think it’s okay that I go? I haven’t actually been invited.”
“Of course it’s okay. It would be weird if you didn’t, since you’re staying here. If it makes you feel any better, we can say you’re my date.”
I caught sight of Julian, then, on the patio under an umbrella clicking away on a laptop.
Phoenix nudged me. “We’ll grab you sometime after ten tonight for the foodless house with the drinks and the noise. It’s mind numbing, but it’s something to do.”
“Will you let me see your video game sometime?” I felt strange asking, especially since he didn’t know I created Poor Relation .
He tilted his head, considering it for a moment. “Maybe when I’m sure it’s not crap.”
Phoenix left me then so I walked over to Julian. With the ocean behind him, he looked like he belonged in a magazine ad for beach living. He didn’t look up when I came over, clearly focused on his work. I sat down quietly, not sure if I should leave without saying anything at all.
He lifted his head finally then jolted. “Alatheia, how long have you been here?”
“A second.” I leaned forward. “Are you writing?”
“I am, but it’s weird. I want to write plays, but I think this might be more of a book, so that’s what I’m doing right now.”
I loved the idea. “Maybe you’re just a writer in general. You go where the muse takes you, so to speak.”
“Cool. We’ll go with that,” he said then leaned back in his chair.