Chapter Seventeen
Vera
What comes after cloud nine?
Cloud ten?
Or is it just a deep feeling that you are totally screwed?
When Wyatt dropped me off after our date, I was on cloud nine. I was sore in the best places, satisfied in a way I hadn’t been in a very long time, and second-guessing myself in the best way.
Maybe I could have it all.
Then Sunday morning rolled around, and I checked my email to find that word had gotten around about my business.
“How much to ship to Toronto?”
“Can you have one ready by Friday?”
And then there were the orders. My seventeen orders were now thirty-two. This was a problem I never saw coming. No one thinks their business is going to do too well.
Fuck.
Before I could panic too hard, Ben came down the stairs. “Hey Mom, I need to get my tux for prom, and order a corsage for my date.”
“Morning to you, too.”
He put some bread into the toaster. “Morning! Oh, and my tuition deposit is due at the college, and I can’t figure out how to pay it online. They have a weird transfer system that makes no sense. Can you have a look? The deposit is due tomorrow.”
“Yeah, no problem.” The words didn’t match the swirling in my gut. I had to get these nightstands done; I had to answer the emails, I had shifts this week at the diner, and of course my son came first.
I took a deep breath and did what moms do.
I shoved my overwhelm aside and got shit done.
“Make an appointment to get fitted for a tux. Try for Tuesday because I don’t work at the diner, so you can take my car.
Find out what color your date’s dress is, then we can order a corsage to match.
Call the college, and use my credit card to pay the deposit. ”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said around a bite of toast.
I snatched a piece of paper from my notebook and started making a to-do list. I needed groceries, to put money on my credit card for the tuition, to make sure I booked the day of the prom off so I could see my only son go off to the big dance.
I needed more supplies to do the nightstands.
The list kept going, and nowhere on it was there a sweet man with hair that fell in his eyes and a smile that brought one to my face.
I ran a hand through my hair and headed to the garage. I didn’t have time to dwell on that right now; I had shit to do.
I spent every waking minute that I wasn’t busy with work or Ben in the garage or doing supply runs to Springwood.
Wyatt texted me a few times, and I felt awful about how long it took me to reply.
All I sent him was a few words in reply.
I didn’t want to give him up, I really didn’t, but I didn’t see how I could keep him either.
He deserved someone as thoughtful and giving as he was, and I just didn’t know how to be that person and still keep my life going.
Every time I finished an order, more had come in, and my to-do list kept growing.
I had to research shipping costs. I was looking into whether I could send them out unassembled with the hardware and instructions.
People were asking about different colors of stains or custom paint jobs, hardware options. This was so much bigger than I was ready for, and I couldn’t think about the big picture when I had a stack of order confirmations in front of me that needed to be filled.
Thursday after dinner my phone rang, and Wyatt’s name flashed across the screen. I hesitated before picking it up. In my mind, if I didn’t say the words and tell him I couldn’t do this with him, then it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t avoid this forever.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey, you seemed too busy to text this week, so I wanted to call.”
I ran a hand through my hair and realized I needed to wash it. “Yeah, I got a flood of orders for more night stands, I barely have time to eat or sleep, and Ben has some stuff to do for graduation and…”
“And you don’t have time for another thing in your life right now.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Yeah, that is about what it comes down to.”
I chewed the side of my lip, not sure if I should take back everything I said and go see him, or crawl into a corner and cry.
I wanted it all. I wanted my cake and to eat it too. The fact that I couldn’t had never been an issue before, but now, faced with losing Wyatt, I wanted to throw a tantrum like a toddler about how unfair it all was.
“I’m sorry.”
“Look, Vera, I understand you have a lot going on, and it sounds like things are chaotic for you right now. I won’t reach out if you don’t want me to. I don’t want you to feel like I’m something on your to-do list that you have to stress about getting to.”
God, it sounded so awful when he put it that way.
“Can you do me one little favor?”
I blew out a breath. “What is it?”
“Just don’t give up on us yet, okay?”
My heart did a stupid little skip, and I found myself nodding. “Okay, I promise I won’t.”
“Thanks, Vera. Get some sleep, okay? Things have a way of working out.”
Don’t give up.
That was easier said than done.
I woke up on Friday morning to the sound of someone knocking on my front door. I hadn’t slept nearly as much as I should have, but the knocking didn’t stop.
I shuffled to the front door in a t-shirt and shorts, hair in something that resembled a messy bun and a hurricane in one.
I opened the door and Wyatt was standing there, looking unfairly good in jeans, a flannel shirt with a tool belt around his waist. It was a flashback to the first time he stood on my doorstep, except now I knew how good it felt to have his arms around me, and how much it hurt not to have them there again.
“Morning,” he handed me a to-go cup and a bag with the Bend’s Best Brew logo on the side. I took them dumbly, still half asleep. “What’s going on?”
Another Wild Timber truck pulled into my driveway, and two men I vaguely recognized got out.
Wyatt beamed. “We’re having a slow day at Wild Timber today; materials delay, again. So Zane, Elias, and I are going to help you build nightstands.”
“But…you don’t have to do that.” Rejecting help was my default setting, and I jumped to it even though I desperately needed the help.
He rested a hand on each of my arms, and the simple touch had my shoulders relaxing.
“I know we don’t, and I know you don’t like to accept help.
You would figure this all out without me, but sometimes if a hand is offered, you should just take it.
I also know that if I’m going to convince you to go out on a second date, I have to show you that I’m all in.
Not just for dinners out and sex, but for the day-to-day stuff too.
Stuff with Ben or work or your business. You know?”
My heart started to melt and my sleep-deprived eyes watered.
“I want to kiss you and have fun with you, but I also want to be there when you’re stressed or get you coffee when you’ve had a hard day.”
“Wyatt, I—I’m a mess.” I gestured with my hand, which was holding the coffee, to my worn-out clothes.
“And I’m here to help clean it up. And one day, when I’m a mess, you’ll clean me up too. That’s what you want, right? A partner, not another obligation.”
“This is a lot of sweet things to say first thing in the morning. But yeah, that’s what I want.”
“Daylight’s wasting,” Elias called from behind us.
“Go have breakfast, okay? Drink some coffee, then meet us in the garage, and we’ll get as many of these things built as we can.”
I was tired, hungry, undercaffeinated, in desperate need of a shower, and completely overwhelmed. But I was also determined to make this business work, and Wyatt was offering me a lifeline.
I stepped back to let the guys in, then grabbed the breakfast sandwich from the bag and shoved it in my mouth as I ran up the stairs to get dressed. I didn’t have time to dawdle over coffee; I had three trained carpenters here offering to help, and I needed to take advantage.
The things that Wyatt had said circled in my mind as I pulled on some jeans, but I didn’t have time to dwell on them now. I had pushed him away because I couldn’t see how everything could work.
He was here to show me how wrong I was. I wanted to be wrong.
I just wasn’t in any position to decide right now. I needed to clear my head, and to do that I needed to clear the backlog of nightstands.
We set up an assembly line in the garage. I organized while Elias did the initial cuts, Zane did the assembly, and Wyatt sanded and stained.
The guys worked hard. We got a sizable amount of my orders done, or partly done by the time five o’clock rolled around and Zane and Elias said goodbye.
Wyatt was putting the finishing touches on one of the nightstands as I finally had time to look around and see what we had accomplished.
Wyatt had shown up for me in a way I wasn’t sure anyone ever had, and my heart was singing his praises. “Do you have to go, too?” I asked.
He stood up and crossed the garage to stand in front of me. “Do you want me to?”
I shook my head. “I want you to stay.”