Chapter 13
APRIL
April spent all morning reminding herself that this was not a date.
There was no point in dressing up or putting too much effort into her appearance.
But then Crystal’s voice was in her head.
Dress for the job you want. She went for a compromise in the end—a pair of snug-fitting jeans and a shirt cut lower than she would normally wear.
It worked out better than she expected. She looked nice without looking like she had expectations, which she definitely did not.
Maybe she had hopes but no expectations. At least, that’s what she told herself.
She drove to Cal’s house feeling far more nervous than she would if this were anything other than a date.
When she got to the cabin, she hesitated to knock on the door, second-guessing every choice she had made so far.
Had she chosen the right outfit? Maybe it was still too much.
But when Cal finally opened the door, the look on his face was nothing but appreciation.
“You look great,” he said.
“Thanks.” She stepped inside, and he took her coat. “I wasn’t sure how formal this dinner was meant to be. I hope I’m not underdressed.”
“Not at all. This is the Nolen cabin. Wear what makes you the most comfortable. We’ve got no complaints here.” His eyes traveled down briefly, and she caught the quirk of a smile before he said. “On the contrary… you really do look amazing.”
April could feel herself blushing. “Thank you,” she said. Then she quickly changed the subject to something more comfortable. “So, what smells so good?”
“That would be dinner.” Cal closed the door and led April to the dining table. There was a lit storm lantern in the middle, giving off big candle vibes. The table was beautifully set, and Owen was already sitting there waiting for them quietly.
“You’re being so polite, Owen,” April noted.
“I have good manners,” Owen said. “And I swallow my food before talking, too.”
She sat down beside him. “That’s pretty impressive, actually. I always forget, but I’ll try to remember tonight.”
Owen nodded with great solemnity. It was adorable, really.
They ate right away, as dinner was hot and ready.
It was probably the most delicious fish April had ever tasted, with a delicate, mild flavor and a light, flaky texture.
It was perfectly seasoned as well. It was served with a vegetable medley with potatoes, zucchini, and of course, purple carrots.
These were buttery and also perfectly seasoned.
“Where’d you learn to cook like this?” she asked Cal after swallowing another delicious bite.
He smiled from across the table, clearly proud of his spread. “Kids can be the harshest critics. You either learn to cook quick or eat nothing other than peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches and chicken strips.”
“I love peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches,” Owen said with enthusiasm.
“Do you?” April asked. “What kind of jelly do you like best?”
“Grape or strawberry,” he said with no hesitation.
“Have you ever tried blackberry jam?” she asked. Owen shook his head, and April added, “I should make you a sandwich with blackberry jam sometime. I bet you’d like it.”
The boy shook his head again. “I don’t know. I like grape and strawberry.”
“Well, try it, and if you don’t like it, I’ll eat it. Deal?”
Owen hesitated for a moment and then reached over and shook on it. “Deal,” he said.
After dinner, it was story time and bedtime, which Owen accepted with far more dignity and grace than any five-year-old April had ever known.
“He really is such a great kid,” she said to Cal as he gently closed Owen’s bedroom door.
“I agree,” Cal said, “but I’m pretty biased, obviously.”
“From my far less biased perspective, he really is a great kid,” she assured him.
“Thank you.” He went into the kitchen and opened a cupboard to pull out a dark bottle. “Care for some wine?”
“Sure,” April said. “Only a little, though. I do still have to drive home.”
“A small glass then.” Cal pulled two wine glasses down and filled them both about halfway.
April thought it was quite thoughtful of him to only drink as much as she was drinking.
Of course, it was possible he had always planned to have that amount, but she got the impression he was keeping pace with her to make her comfortable.
They sat down together on his couch, him on one end and her on the other. “Dinner really was delicious,” she said. “I have to thank you again for feeding me.”
“Always a pleasure,” he said with a smile. “You’re good company, and Owen quite likes you.”
She laughed out loud at that. “Just Owen, huh?”
Cal chuckled. “OK, fine. I admit it. I like you, too. And that’s saying something. I don’t like a lot of people.”
He wasn’t lying. April had seen evidence of that for herself at the café when Mrs. Jansen had stopped to speak to them both.
Admittedly, Mrs. Jansen could be overwhelming to talk to, but she meant no real harm.
And while she probably thought Cal had been rude with his short, cold answers, April could tell his attitude was coming from a place of discomfort rather than cruelty.
His self-imposed isolation and general distrust of the townsfolk were strange to April, who had seen the difference in him when he was in his own, controlled environment.
It was something she’d been thinking about since she first noticed it.
“Cal,” she began quietly. “I wanted to apologize for Mrs. Jansen the other day. I know she made you uncomfortable. Sometimes, she makes me uncomfortable, too. She’s just one of those people who doesn’t know when to stop, you know?”
“You don’t need to apologize for someone else’s actions,” Cal said.
“And she didn’t do anything wrong, really.
Maybe she was a little rude, but that’s no crime.
” He sipped his wine, and April got the impression he was trying to make her feel better instead of being completely honest. “I do apologize that I allowed my discomfort to show, though. I try not to.”
“Some people are not so good at hiding,” April said with a shrug. “That’s usually a good sign. Those people are more trustworthy. I think so anyway.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. I think it’s a good sign when you’re bad at lying.” She gave him a broad smile. “But I wish you didn’t feel like you had to hide at all.”
Cal heaved a deep sigh and shook his head. “It’s not that. I just… don’t really want to get involved with people in town. I haven’t had great experiences with Summit Falls in the past.”
April found that hard to believe. Summit Falls was such a cozy town, such a homey place.
She couldn’t imagine the level of unpleasantness it would take for someone to want to isolate themselves so completely.
“What… happened? If you don’t mind my asking,” she said.
Part of her felt bad about asking, but another part, the part that drove her to become a nurse in the first place, knew she would not be able to help him in any way until she knew.
Cal stared down into his glass of wine, looking like the reflection of his own past was lingering on its surface.
“Owen’s mother…” he began, but his voice faded and he had to take several deep breaths before he could begin again.
“Owen’s mother did not survive childbirth.
It was the single worst day of my life, and that includes all my time in the military.
It was supposed to be the happiest day, you know?
But the rug was pulled out from under me, and suddenly I had a child without a partner to help raise him.
I had to grieve without letting my grief affect our son too much.
And above everything else, I had to protect him.
I knew I wouldn’t survive losing both of them. ”
April wrapped her arms around herself. She wanted to hug him but felt it would be too forward. He didn’t seem the hugging type. “I’m so sorry,” was all she could think to say. “I can’t imagine what that was like.”
“I won’t sugarcoat it,” he said. “It was a hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
And it lingered, even after it was over.
It lingered in my daily life. Every street corner of Summit Falls reminded me of her.
The bookshop. The café. She worked at the diner in town.
We were saving up to buy a house when she found out she was pregnant.
But we were happy. We wanted to start a family.
Our lives were on track, and it felt like nothing could go wrong.
” He paused, and his voice began to waver as he spoke.
“But then, of course, something did go wrong. I never trusted that feeling again—that nothing could go wrong. I never felt confident that the people I cared about would be safe. Summit Falls is just a reminder of all of it, and a reminder is the last thing I need in my life. I would never be able to forget, not even without all the reminders.”
April didn’t know what to say. She held her wine glass in both hands and stared down at it, then back up at Cal. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I didn’t mean to make you relive something like that.”
“You didn’t,” Cal said. “I relive it every day regardless. It’s not something you get over.
Even Owen is a reminder, although he’s the best kind.
He looks so much like his mother, and I see a lot of her curiosity in him.
” He leaned back and appeared to relax into the conversation a little, which gave April some hope that it might go well.
“I built this cabin and decided to live here partly so that the only reminders I had of her were the good ones. When the only reminders are due to Owen, they’re bearable, you know?
And I felt like I could more easily protect him from here.
It feels safer away from people I don’t trust. Does any of that make sense? ” He looked at her expectantly.