Chapter 18
APRIL
More often than not, though she was grateful for her job, April lamented that it didn’t leave her much time to think.
But over the last few days, she wanted less time to think.
If she had time to think, she had to admit to herself that she was falling in love with Cal.
And then she had to admit to herself that he wasn’t exactly normal.
But wasn’t that what she liked about him?
Would it be right to change him, even if she did it unintentionally? She supposed it was too late to consider the ethics of that. He had already changed. Because of her, he was now spending more time in town, talking to people, letting his son spend time with people outside his family.
She tried to picture her life with him, and every time she did, she struggled to come to grips with it.
While living on the mountain in a cabin in the woods was appealing to her romantic self, the reality of it got in the way.
The commute, for one, would be significant.
Seeing her friends would not be easy. She thought she could probably do without all the creature comforts, but for how long?
When she thought about what it would be like for him to join her in town, she couldn’t help feeling that he would regret it.
He would pretend to be happy at first, but eventually, resentment might creep in.
The last thing she wanted to do was change him in a way he didn’t want to be changed. She liked him just the way he was.
She was also downright addicted to him and wanted to spend time with him every chance she got. So, of course, as soon as she was reminded that the big summer festival was going to be in a couple weeks, she called Cal.
“How many festivals does this town have?” he said when she asked if he’d like to join her. “And do you go to all of them?”
“OK, I think they just like calling things festivals. The art one is questionable. This one really is a festival, though. They have rides and games. And fair food. You can’t turn down fair food.” She was running out of things to tempt him with, but he was already on the same page.
“All right. Let’s do it.”
She’d been about to add more to her spiel, but she stopped herself. “Really?”
“Did you not mean to invite me or something?” he said.
“No. I mean, yes!” She laughed. “Yes, come with me. It’ll be so much fun. And I’ll have my camera. I’ll get some good pictures of you and Owen.”
“When is it?”
“This weekend.” She sounded more excited than she wanted to, but April had always been pretty bad at hiding her feelings. It was one of her great weaknesses, but Cal seemed to like it.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll pick you up.”
She hung up the phone feeling giddy about the festival.
All her worries about what the future held disappeared in a haze of excitement.
That was the key, she decided. There was no point in worrying about what would happen later down the line.
She should just deal with one day at a time.
That was how she’d dealt with scary things so far in her life, and that was how she would deal with this one, too.
One day at a time. First, the festival. Then, whatever came next.
On the day of the festival, the knock on her apartment door was smaller than she expected it to be. It took her only a second to realize it was because it was Owen doing the knocking. She opened the door to see him standing there with a proud smile on his face. “Where’s your dad?” she asked.
“He said I could go get you by myself this time,” he explained.
“Oh, well, I guess he trusts you to do the job right.”
Owen nodded in agreement and said, “Let’s go,” holding out a hand.
“Let me get my bag real quick,” April said.
Once she had her purse, she followed Owen out to Cal’s truck.
It made more sense to take her car, she realized, what with three passengers.
But Cal wanted to drive them, and for some reason, April got the impression it was important to him.
So, she squeezed into the third spot in the truck beside Owen.
The festival itself was right on the outskirts of town.
All the rides and games required a larger swath of land than was available in the middle of town.
For a small-town festival, the place was nicely put together.
All the lights, the sounds of various rides and games, and the smell of sweet and deep-fried foods filled the air.
April saw Cal breathe deeply as he got out of his truck. “Brings back memories,” he said.
“Have you been to a fair before?” she asked.
“When I was very small,” he said. “My parents were struggling and trying to make it work. They thought doing things like this as a family would help us be closer. It never really worked that way, though. They were doing things in the wrong order. You have to trust each other before you can bond in a place like this.”
“That’s interesting,” April said. She supposed it made a certain amount of sense.
On the other hand, at least for her, the best way to begin to trust a person was to spend more time with them, no matter what you were doing.
Obviously, some activities built trust faster than others, but all the time spent together would move you toward that goal.
Either way, it didn’t much matter. “Well, let’s all go have fun. ”
They paid their entry fees, and Cal bought tickets for Owen to use on the rides and the games. He went running into the crowd, but Cal shouted after him. “Don’t go out of our sight, chief! Stick with us.”
Owen pouted but slowed down as instructed.
He immediately found the largest ride on the fairgrounds and bounced up and down in front of it.
“I think you’re too short for that one,” April said.
“Look.” She pointed to a wooden cutout of a cartoon character holding out one hand with the words You must be this tall to ride written on it.
Once again, Owen pouted. “Why?” he whined.
April crouched down to be on his level. “Listen. They have pretty much the same rides every year. This one will still be there next year when you’re taller. And the year after that. And the year after that. Remember the slides?”
He nodded with a frown.
“We have to practice before we go on the big rides,” she said. “Let’s find some smaller roller coasters to practice for the big ones, shall we?”
Though Owen seemed doubtful about April’s reasoning, he eventually went along.
And they started walking toward some of the safer rides for him to go on.
April assumed she would be joining Owen since Cal seemed disinclined to go on any of the rides.
In fact, the more she watched Cal, the more she was convinced he wasn’t having as good a time as she’d hoped he would have.
He seemed deeply uncomfortable with the business around him, the crowd, the sounds, and the many different clips of music from each booth.
It was too much for him. She could tell, even though he was trying to hide it.
The effort he was putting into participating in this event was not something she was taking for granted.
She went with Owen on several rides while Cal held her camera for her.
She’d given him permission to take as many photos as he wanted.
After the rides, they all went to get some lunch, each of them ordering something different—corn dogs, elephant ears, jam-filled scones.
They sat at a picnic table together to eat.
“Are you having a good time?” April asked Owen.
“Yeah!” he said, his face still sticky with jam. “I want to go on the rides again.”
“In a bit,” Cal said. “Let’s tone it down for a few minutes. Your dad’s getting tired.”
Owen rolled his eyes. “You’re too old.”
Cal glared back playfully. “And you’re too young.”
They finished their lunch and walked together toward the game booths.
Owen chose one that required him to throw a ball at smallish targets in order to win one of several tiers of prizes.
April didn’t hold out much hope that he would win anything.
But she supposed it was good for a kid to learn how to lose either way, and losing hadn’t really bothered him yet.
The man running the booth was quite generous with the kid, giving him several extra opportunities to win. When Owen failed to win a toy from even the bottom tier, the man suggested that Owen should let his father win one for him. Cal reluctantly agreed.
The bottom tier of toys was mostly plastic figurines.
There wasn’t anything Owen found particularly tempting.
Further up, things got a little more interesting.
There were board games, posters, fake swords, and stuffed animals.
At the top tier was a row of stuffed animals so huge, April was convinced Owen would not have been able to carry one home even if he had actually won it.
They were almost the same size as the boy himself.
But, of course, those were exactly the stuffed animals Owen wanted to win.
Nothing else would satisfy him. Despite his general disinterest in stuffed animals, one huge octopus was suddenly at the top of his wish list.
“Pleeeeaaaase,” he begged, pointing at the top shelf. “That one. Win that one.”
April thought the only reason Owen wanted such a thing was because the size of it impressed him, not because he had any interest in stuffed animals or deep-sea creatures.
But she also supposed it didn’t matter why he wanted it.
Cal would win it for him no matter what.
And what harm would it do to spoil the boy this once?
Owen watched excitedly as his father threw the ball on his behalf.
It took a few more turns than either April or Cal thought it would to win the thing, but Cal kept trying.
His frustration mounted the more he lost, though he hid it rather well.
The moment was so memorable, April thought it was appropriate to photograph it.