Chapter 4
Sawyer
Candy swung by our table. “Y’all need anything to drink?”
She owned this place, along with her husband, Walker.
My stomach took that moment to growl, reminding me that dinner had ended up in Josie’s belly instead of my own.
“Yeah. Can I get a burger? And one of those fry mountains you sell? What do you want, Marissa? My treat.”
Marissa blinked at me rapidly. Her expression had gone all soft and gooey after I’d given her that little axe-throwing lesson.
It only confirmed what I’d always suspected. Matt’s little sis has a thing for me.
“Um, I’ll have a burger, too. And maybe a Pepsi.”
“Sure thing. I’ll have it out in a few. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Candy was all dressed up for the holiday, just like Marissa.
Although now that Marissa had taken off her fuzzy pink heart sweater, she was left in a red tank top that I couldn’t stop looking at.
I dragged my errant eyeballs back up to her face. “Did you really mean that about the Sunday dinners? It felt weird showing up now that he’s gone.”
“You know my parents think of you as their second son.”
When I realized I’d furrowed my brow, I worked to unknot it again. “Yeah. I’m pretty dang fond of them, too.”
“Why don’t you swing by this Sunday? You can be my guest if it makes you feel more comfortable having an official invitation.”
Her invitation felt like a lifeline to me.
My mom had died young. My daddy was around, but he ran in some dark circles, so I didn’t see him often. Marissa and Matt’s parents had raised me more than he had.
“You really don’t think they’d mind? I don’t want to butt in where I’m not wanted.” I tried to ignore the huskiness that had crept into my voice.
“Are you kidding? They’ll be so excited to see you. My mom used to tell me…”
Her words trailed off as a pink blush spread across her cheeks.
“She used to tell you what?”
“Uh… well, um…”
“What? You can tell me anything, Rissy.”
She swallowed hard, the pink blush on her skin deepening to a dusty mauve. “Well, my mom has some crazy ideas in her head. She says that I should catch you just so you’ll start coming around again.”
A strange sensation spread through my entire body, settling somewhere in the vicinity of my dick. “Catch me?”
“You know what I mean,” she said in a quiet whisper. “And it was my mom’s idea. Not mine,” she added in a rush.
A familiar smile spread across her lips. One that I’d missed more than I’d realized.
“Your mom’s always had some good ideas,” I rumbled.
Now Marissa turned bright red. Then she fell into a stammered recitation of recent events, filling me in on the last six months of her life.
“So anyway, with Matt gone, it’s been quiet at my parent’s house. You know they always wanted a big family. And neither of us has given them any grandkids yet. I’ve been too busy working to think about that much.”
“That’s too bad. You’d make an awesome mom.”
Her eyes flickered with emotion, but not the good kind. I felt like I’d just stumbled on a tricky subject.
Switching away from that, I asked, “Are you still digging in the dirt instead of giving your mom grandbabies?”
“You can’t call it that anymore. I’m an official Environmental Soil Scientist these days, Sawyer.”
“So you get paid to dig in the dirt.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes.
Sweet Marissa had been busy, and she knew I was well aware of her fancy-ass career, but I liked to razz her.
She might not have settled down with a man or started a family yet. But she’d made a big name for herself doing environmental soil science studies in the region, funded by the very wealthy university further north of us.
They were researching what factors exist in a healthy forest ecosystem.
For being all dressed up in her frilly clothes tonight, Marissa was a juxtaposition.
She could clean up nice, but she was a tomboy at heart. She used to tag along with me and Matt all the time. And even if she couldn’t throw an axe, she’d kept up with our pace through many Ozark wilderness adventures.
It was one of the things I liked about her. Okay, maybe I loved it. I could still remember a hike the three of us had gone on not long before Matt moved off the mountain.
Marissa had squealed and flung herself into the dirt when she spotted a rare loess deposit.
She’d rambled on for ten minutes straight about things neither me nor her brother understood.
We’d gotten a garbled lesson about iron oxides and substrates, and even though I hadn’t known what the hell she’d been talking about that day, I couldn’t stop watching her.
The excitement in her voice and on her face had triggered something in my heart.
Rissy would always be the ten-year-old tomboy I first met. But that hadn’t stopped her from growing into a curvy bombshell that made my dick twang every time I looked at her.
She looked down at the table. “That’s actually one of the things I was crying about tonight. Do you remember that promotion I’d been gunning for?”
“Yeah.” She’d been waiting for the opening for over two years.
She pursed her lips flat. “They chose someone else.”
“Fuuuuck. Really? I’m so sorry. So you’re still part-time?”
She nodded. “Yep. I never thought at thirty-two years old with a college degree in my back pocket that I’d be unable to find a full-time job in my career field. I am so fucking tired of working at the Red Oak Market just to get a few extra dollars. I really needed that full-time position.”
Her eyes fluttered up to mine. “Lately I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time for me to admit defeat and take a job somewhere else. There just aren’t enough positions for soil scientists in this region.”
My heart clamped shut hearing that. “Move? You’re thinking of leaving?”
A look of resignation landed on her face.
“What’s here for me other than family and friends?
And they’re great, but they don’t pay my bills.
It’s not like I’ve found a husband. I don’t have kids.
And there are openings all over the country.
” Her voice dropped low. “I’ve been thinking of applying for one in Santa Fe. ”
Everything in me skidded to a stop. I’d never expected Rissy to leave the mountain. Then again, I hadn’t expected that Matt would either.
“Oh,” I said, the word completely devoid of emotion. I felt myself shutting down right there in front of her. “Well, that sucks.”
“Does it?”
I licked my lips nervously. “Yeah. I never thought you’d leave Red Oak Mountain.”
“What difference would it make to you? I don’t even see you anymore.”
“But that’s not by choice. It’s just because of Matt.”
She cocked her head. “What about Matt?”
Fuck. Was I really doing this?
He was going to kill me when he found out, but at the same time what did it matter? I’d lived so long without this woman, dreaming of her, plotting out ways that we could be together, knowing it was impossible.
But the idea of her leaving for Santa Fe was like watching a door that had been cracked open slam shut.
I couldn’t let her leave this mountain without knowing the truth.
“You know, Rissy, there’s a lot I haven’t said. Uh, and it’s all because of your brother. He, uh, made me promise something a long time ago, and I’ve never broken my word on it. But… maybe that was a mistake.”
She squinted at me, crossing her arms in a delightful way that pressed her pretty tits together, deepening the line of cleavage visible over the top of her low-cut tank top. “What are you saying, Sawyer?”
The words were on the tip of my tongue when I froze up, the idea of betraying my best friend eating me up inside.
So I chickened out completely.
Instead of saying what was in my heart, I put on a happy face and drawled out, “Oh, forget that. I’m just talking out my ass. But I hate the idea of you leaving the mountain. You’re like a little sister to me, Rissy. Who else would I tease if you moved away?”
She’d been leaning forward expectantly, but now she sat back, leaning against the back of her chair. A tiny laugh stuttered out of her mouth as the light in her eyes dimmed. “Yeah. Of course.”
I got the feeling she knew I’d been on the verge of saying something big.
Her gorgeous, kissable lips turned down at the edges, and we sat in silence while the roar of the axe house went on around us.
When she finally spoke she said, “I was banking on that promotion. I have so much student loan debt, and I’m never going to dig my way out of it if I don’t get a full-time job. That’s why I was thinking of Santa Fe. There’s even a sign-on bonus if I stick it out for two years.”
She was leaving for money.
That’s what it always was. People either left Red Oak Mountain for money or an adventure.
“How much do you owe?” I growled out.
Rissy sighed. “Around twenty-five thousand.”
That’s when our burgers arrived.
As I dug into my meal, I thought about what she’d said.
After some careful consideration, I told her, “I could help out with that. Plumbers make good money because no one else wants a crappy job, pun intended. I’ve got that much sitting in my savings account.”
She paused with her burger in mid-air. “You did not just offer to pay off my student loan debts, Sawyer.”
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. That’s less than the cost of a new truck.” Which is what I’d been saving the money for. But I’d rather give it to Rissy if it could take a burden off her.
She gave me a tiny smile. “That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever offered, but there’s no way I can take your money. The most I’ll let you do is pay for dinner.”
“Well, I’m definitely doing that,” I joked as I stuffed a few French fries in my mouth. “You’ll emasculate me if you try to go Dutch with me tonight.”
Marissa laughed and tossed a French fry my way. “No one could ever emasculate you. You’re made of testosterone and bull rides.”
“Hey, I only did that once.”
“And you should never do it again. I almost had a heart attack.”