Chapter 5
Marissa
Is this really happening?
The whole night felt surreal. How had I managed to spend the holiday with the biggest crush of my life?
I kept the towel wrapped tightly around me right up until the moment I stepped into the steaming hot tub.
Sawyer was already in it, sexy and shirtless, his muscled arms draped across the edge of the hot tub, hooded eyes watching my every move.
And I swear he looked like he was drinking me up when the towel dropped, revealing my bathing suit and everything inside it.
I quickly sank into the steaming water, too shy to let him examine my body.
Even though I knew his eyes had been trained on my breasts for half the night.
Remind me to wear tight fuzzy sweaters and low-cut tank tops more often if this is the kind of response I was going to get from the crush of my life.
He cut the couple’s cake in half and handed me a plate, holding it high above the bubbles. “I’m sorry I hit that guy. That was probably an extreme response.”
If he knew the amount of times I’d heard a wisecrack like that out of some redneck who didn’t know better, he’d have to beat up half the county.
But it had felt nice having a protector at my side.
“I think that guy will be fine. It’s not like you knocked him out cold.”
Sawyer laughed at that and took a bite of his cake. “So that’s the standard? I can beat up any guy to defend your honor, as long as he remains conscious?”
Grinning back at him, I quipped, “Semi-conscious will do. Really, though, it was sweet of you. Completely unnecessary… but sweet.”
“Kind of like this cake,” he groaned as he took another bite.
His dog, Josie, had come out to join us, circling around on the snow-covered deck until she found her preferred spot, then settled in for the night.
“When did you get her?” I’d never known him to have a pet before.
Sawyer’s brown eyes flickered with emotion. He’d been showing all sorts of feelings tonight. “Life got quiet after Matt left. Josie helped fill in the hole he left behind.”
I cocked my head at him. “I didn’t know you felt left behind, too.
Matt’s probably just going through a thing, but he pretty much disappeared on us also.
He comes by every few months and calls every now and then, but my parents are pretty devastated.
It’s not that they’re upset he moved off Red Oak Mountain.
But he’s not doing a good job of keeping in touch. ”
He furrowed his brow. “I thought it was just me.”
“Nope. He froze us out too. I keep telling my parents it’s because he’s so in love with Vicky. He’ll come back around when he gets done with this lovestruck phase. He’s probably too busy in bed to think about picking up a phone and calling us.”
Sawyer nodded as though I’d clarified something for him. “And then I stopped coming over for dinner, too.”
“Yup. Like a two-for-one blow. Nothing would make them happier than seeing you roll up into their front yard.”
Sawyer got a boyish smile on his face. The man looked vulnerable for a second. “I miss them so much. I don’t really have a relationship with my dad, so your parents have meant everything to me. I just didn’t want to butt in if I wasn’t wanted.”
I tapped him lightly with my foot under the water. “You’re wanted. My dad’s been trying to figure out what he did to drive you two away.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
He looked like he was tickled pink about that, and I was happy that I could help bring him back around.
My mom was going to flip out when she saw me dragging his butt home on Sunday.
I took my first bite of the cake, and then I was moaning, delighted by the explosion of flavors dancing across my tongue. “Holy shit, this is good!”
“Yup,” he said as the last bite on his plate slipped between his lips.
My body woke up as I watched him savor his last bite.
Sawyer was a sexy man, but watching him eat something tasty ratcheted up his sex appeal even higher. He licked his lips while I imagined his tongue licking something else.
He wants to cuddle with me.
I knew that meant there was at least a fifty percent chance I ended up fucking the man of my dreams tonight.
That’s when I abandoned all common sense, scooped a big bite of my cake onto my fork and brought it to his lips. “Open up, big boy. One more bite.”
Sawyer started laughing, his lips parting long enough for me to shove the forkful into his mouth.
Then I got the joy of watching him savor another bite.
After that visual feast, I put the plate down on the edge of the hot tub, where Josie couldn’t reach it.
His brow furrowed. “You didn’t finish your cake.”
“I ate ten pounds of French fries. I’ll have the rest later.”
He closed the distance between us, his sexy eyes still latched tightly onto me as he rumbled, “At least have your raspberry.”
He plucked the lone raspberry off the top of the cake, then fed it to me.
My tongue accidentally licked his fingers as I took the raspberry from him.
Sawyer rumbled out a satisfied laugh at that, his eyes dancing in delight.
Then I broached the topic that had been rolling around in my head all night. “What really happened with Avery?”
She was a pretty young thing who worked at Bookish, the local bookstore in town. The last I heard, the two of them were getting serious. I’d dreaded the day I’d get a wedding invitation in the mail. The gossip mill had been working overtime about those two for a while.
And the worst part was, she was sooo much younger than me. I’d always been afraid I was too young for him. But there was only four years of distance between us. Those two had a decade at least. I hadn’t been able to contain my jealousy when I’d found out they were dating.
He gave a gentle shrug. “Avery’s really lovely. We’re still friends.”
“You’re not together anymore? Matt thought you were getting serious about her.”
His eyes flicked downward, trouble wrinkling his brow. “Serious is a relative word. I cared about her, but…”
“But what?”
I was curious what could possibly cause one of his relationships to implode. If I had that man, I’d never let him go again.
He quirked his lips to one side, then sighed.
“I don’t want to talk bad about her. What I will say is, I really didn’t know how young she was when we first got together.
And I thought we were just messing around.
But… she got other ideas in her head and told the whole town we were in love.
The truth is, from my perspective, we weren’t even dating. We just hooked up a few times.”
“Oh.”
He scrubbed a hand across his jaw, obviously upset. “I didn’t mean to hurt the girl. When I found out about our misunderstanding, I let her down as gently as I could.” His gaze drifted away from me and out into the night around us. “I was never in love with her. I’ve only ever been in love with—”
He clammed up fast.
That stung.
At least Sawyer was honest. He’d only ever been in love with one woman. And whoever she was, he obviously wasn’t with her now, so she must have broken up with him.
It put tonight into perspective for me, though. Whatever happened between us, it would just be a casual ‘cuddle’. Nothing serious.
Could I live with that? Of course. I’d take whatever scraps this man was willing to throw my way; I was that in love with him. But I wanted to know as much as possible about this woman who’d stolen his heart and refused to give it back.
So I asked, “With who?”
Sawyer let out a light laugh as snow drifted slowly down from the sky, framing him in snowflakes that melted as soon as they hit the steam of the hot tub.
But he didn’t answer the question.
Instead he said, “It’s complicated, Rissy.
Look, I was fond of Avery. And I could have settled, but…
she probably deserves someone whose heart skips a beat when they look at her.
And that wasn’t me. It was best to let her go so she could try to find a real match.
Someone who could be there for her more than a few Friday nights a month. ”
“Avery’s drop-dead gorgeous. How could you think being with her is settling?”
If he thought that about Avery he would never consider me. Her breasts were perkier. Her waist smaller. Her smile a little brighter.
Sawyer scooted closer, closing the distance between us in the tub.
“Tell me something, Rissy. Have you ever thought about settling down? Having some kids?”
My heart stopped beating in my chest as I took in the serious expression on his face. Where was that question coming from?
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Sawyer was actually looking at me like I was a woman tonight, and not just Matt’s little sister. Maybe for the first time in our lives.
“Kids?” My voice croaked out, sounding like a rusted door swinging open for the first time in a decade. “All I think about is starting a family. But I need to find my man first.”
His brow furrowed at that. “And you still haven’t found him?”
Could I tell him that he was my man? That no one else had ever come close to comparing to him.
“I-I…” Words failed me.
The cake plate clattered off the edge of the hot tub, hitting the snow-covered deck as he slid closer to me, close enough that I could see the pulse beating in his neck.
He sighed and lifted a hand out of the water, resting it against my cheek.
“What about me, Rissy? Maybe we could start a family together. Have you ever thought about me like that?”
If this was the kind of line he used to get into a woman’s bathing suit, let me tell you ladies, it was working.
The man wanted me.
I didn’t know if this was just a hookup like Avery had been, but it didn’t matter. If Sawyer Reed wanted me, I’d give him everything I had.
“Okay.” My single, breathless word hung in the frosty air for half a heartbeat. Then I blurted out the bravest thing I’d ever said in my life. “Can we start tonight?”
He sat stock-still for a second, the emotion flitting across his face a mystery, before springing into action.