16 - Sophie
16
Sophie
I took Johnny to an ice cream shop closer to the rodeo camp, my favorite place with a bright yellow sign and a line out the door despite the cold weather. Johnny didn’t protest as I bought each of us two scoops in a waffle cone, and a special dog treat for Dusty.
“This might be the best salted caramel I’ve ever had,” Johnny said as we strolled through the rodeo camp, still walking Dusty since he had been cooped up all afternoon.
“They’re a local chain, the best in Fort Worth.”
“You know all the good places,” he said. “I wish I’d met you when I first started competing here. I’ve been going to all the wrong places.”
“I am indeed a treasure,” I said cheerfully. “Thank you for knowing that. How long have you been in the rodeo?”
He paused to swallow a bite of ice cream. “This is my fifth year. Hopefully not my last.”
I frowned over at him. “Why would it be your last?”
Johnny shrugged as we strolled along. “I’m the best cowboy at our ranch, but there’s two younger guys nippin’ at my heels. Anxious to get a shot. If I struggle, the ranch owner might give one of them a chance next year.”
Shit. Now I felt really guilty about getting him so drunk that he performed poorly.
To change the subject, I said, “Would you ever want to own your own ranch someday?”
“Yes ma’am. I’d love nothin’ more than to have a ranch with my name on it.” He grinned over at me. “Probably won’t ever happen, but a boy can dream.”
“Why wouldn’t it ever happen?”
“Well, there’s this thing that runs the world,” Johnny explained. “It’s green, and takes a lot of work to earn. You’ve got a pocket full of it right now.”
“Money,” I said with a laugh.
He nodded and ate another spoonful. “Land’s expensive, especially in Colorado. I’ve been savin’ up for a while, but property values keep going up. Feels like I’m chasin’ down a runaway horse that keeps gettin’ farther away.”
“It’s not much better here. Homes in Fort Worth are twice as expensive as they were just a few years ago. But that’s why it’s a dream. Something to hope for, even if it’s unlikely.”
“Good point. What’re your dreams, Sky Eyes?”
His nickname for me sent a happy little shiver up my spine. I normally hated it when random guys invented a nickname for me, but it felt more genuine coming from Johnny. Personal and intimate, and not just a line he was using to get in a girl’s pants.
“Who says I have dreams?” I replied.
He turned his head to face me as we walked. “Everyone has dreams.”
“Maybe I don’t.”
Johnny stared at me a few seconds, then returned to focusing on his ice cream. “I don’t want to pry, especially if you aren’t interested in chatting. But an hour ago at Billy Bob’s, you told me you’re used to pushing people away. You seemed like you wanted to buck that trend. I won’t push, and I definitely don’t want to go shot-for-shot with you to get you to open up. But I hope you will buck that trend.”
Damnit. He was right.
And deep down, I wanted to open up to him, just as I had at the bar last night while we traded shots of real—and fake—whiskey.
“I want to have a homestead of my own,” I said.
Johnny blinked, like he was surprised I had answered. “Oh?”
“I want to buy a little plot of land and get away from the city. I don’t need a lot of space, just enough to keep some chickens, and a garden. Maybe a cow, so I can have fresh milk and butter. Don’t get me wrong, I love Fort Worth. It’s the perfect little city. But it’s still a city. When I dream about the future, I dream about peace . I want to close my eyes and hear silence—not car horns, or traffic, or people arguing in the apartment next to mine. I want to sit in a rocking chair on my porch with a mug of coffee and stare off in the distance, with nothing between me and the horizon but open land.”
I sighed heavily, like the admission had taken physical effort. But once it was out, it felt good to have said it. I hadn’t told anyone about my dream for the future. Not even Liz.
When I chanced a glance over at Johnny, I found him smiling at me in approval. “That’s a damn fine dream.”
“Still just a dream,” I replied, patting my pocket. “No matter how much I earn in tips, it’ll probably stay that way.”
“Life sucks sometimes,” Johnny said sadly. “Ice cream helps!”
Dusty looked over his shoulder at me, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he made sure we were still going the right way. I reached down to scratch him on the head, then said, “Sorry if I was kind of an asshole to you and Eli.”
“Never apologize for being an asshole to Eli,” Johnny said, popping the remains of his cone into his mouth. “But you already apologized to me.”
“My default position is to act like a bitch to every cowboy I see.”
He immediately shook his head. “You were not a bitch. You were kind of an asshole, but it was well deserved, since we were flirting with you while you were working. I normally don’t do that.”
“Then why’d you hit on me?” I asked.
Staring straight ahead, he shrugged. “You were worth making an exception for.”
Damnit. That was a good line.
“What made you change your mind with me?” he asked.
“I felt bad for making you screw up at the rodeo today.”
Johnny held up a finger. “You didn’t make me screw up. I’m fully responsible for that. But I’m actually talking about last night. What made you open up to me about your ex? I didn’t expect to get such a real answer from you.”
An excuse immediately formed on my lips, but I stopped myself. I didn’t want to lie to him. It felt good to open up for once, and I didn’t want to go back to keeping men like Johnny at arm’s length.
“Honestly? I feel comfortable around you,” I revealed.
“Oh?”
Once again, I took a leap and opened up to him. “I’m not comfortable around many guys, especially not cowboys who are in town for the rodeo. But I was immediately drawn to you and Eli. I didn’t realize it at first, because I was used to pushing guys like you away, but you wore me down enough. It actually felt really good to talk about Trent out loud. That’s not a subject I like to share. But it was like a weight off my shoulders. Like I’m finally healed enough to move on and talk about it without the pain being fresh.”
“I’m really glad to hear that,” Johnny said slowly. “Except for the part where you said me and Eli.”
“If you want, you can pretend I didn’t mention him at all.”
“I think I’ll do that.”
He grinned at me, and I grinned back at him. We had made a lap around the rodeo camp and were back at his trailer.
“Well, then,” he said, letting go of the leash. Dusty ran into the camp and slurped water from the bowl on the ground. “This was fun.”
“Yeah, it was,” I said, glancing at my watch. It was late. But it still felt like the evening had just begun. I was having a great time with Johnny and didn’t want to walk away.
I don’t sleep with cowboys , I told myself. There’s a reason I have this rule .
Johnny was standing in front of me, hands in his pockets, looking like a model on the cover of a cowboy magazine. But he was still so real , authentic in a way that few people were in my life. I felt like I had known him for years, even though our date had lasted less than two hours.
We were in that awkward place where the date could end and I could go home.
Or it could go in another direction.
“Can I buy you dinner next time?” he asked with a hopeful, boyish smile. “Assuming you want there to be a next time.”
I did. I wanted it very badly.
“I’d like that,” I said. “I’m free tomorrow night.”
“I don’t compete until next week. Tomorrow’s perfect.” He tipped his hat at me. “You have a good night then, Sky Eyes.” Johnny held my gaze for three heartbeats longer, then turned and walked over to Dusty. He opened the trailer door and the dog leaped inside.
Disappointment made my stomach sink. That was it? A polite goodnight? I wasn’t sure what exactly I wanted, but this wasn’t it.
Johnny took one step into the trailer, and glanced at me.
Throwing aside all caution, I blurted out, “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”
He stepped back outside. “What do you mean?”
“I expected you to invite me inside,” I insisted. I knew I sounded petulant, but I couldn’t help it. “To offer me a night cap as a pretense for something more.”
“I’m still not ready to drink,” he said with a half-smile.
“Oh. Right. But still, that’s how you end the night? You just tip your hat and say goodnight?”
He cocked his head thoughtfully. “I had more planned for our second date.”
I took a step toward him. “Tell me. What did you have planned?”
Johnny rubbed his jaw and took a step closer. “Well, I was going to take you out to dinner, first. Somewhere nicer than hot dogs.”
“Then what?”
“Then,” he said in that perfect sexy drawl, “I was going to invite you back here for a drink. I make a mean ranch water.”
I walked forward some more, until I was just a few feet away from him. “I like ranch water. Go on.”
“Here’s the thing,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t really make a good ranch water. It’s just tequila, lime juice, and sparkling water. That’s just the excuse I would use to get you back here.”
“So you could do what?” I asked. I was close enough to feel the warmth coming off his body, banishing the chill in the air. “It’s a pretext for what, exactly?”
There was a sparkle in his baby blue eyes as he gazed down at me. I held my breath. For a moment in time, both of us frozen just a few inches apart, our minds were on the same wavelength. I felt like I knew exactly what he was thinking, the imagination behind those lively eyes.
“Then I would kiss you,” he said softly.
I bit my lip. “Oh?”
“Mmm hmm,” he rumbled. “And depending on how the kiss went, we would go from there.”
From a distance, Johnny seemed kind and sweet. But this close to him? I could feel his quiet strength, with the faded scent of leather and sweat. This was an undeniably powerful man, a fact which was easy to forget when he was laughing and giving me that easy smile.
I wanted to reach out and grab him, to run my hands over the muscles I knew were beneath his flannel shirt. But I held myself back and said, “What kind of kiss?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“There are lots of kinds of kisses,” I explained, my pulse quickening. “A polite kiss on the cheek, a peck on the lips. You have to be more specific—”
“ This is what I mean.”
And then he showed me.