Chapter 12 – Andy
Chapter Twelve
ANDY
“It’s pretty up here,” I say, sitting down on the bench. Niki keeps his hold on my hand, sitting down next to me. We’re at an old grotto at the top of a hill overlooking the river. I didn’t know this place was here. It’s beautiful.
“I come here when I need to get away.”
I nod in understanding. Sometimes I need to do the same, but I’ve never really found a place. Usually I’ll just allow myself to get lost in a book. “It’s quiet.” The city noise is gone.
“Yeah.”
I close my eyes, smiling. All you can hear is the wind and the soft splash of the water.
I can see why he likes it here. It's not only quiet, but it's calming. It's a reminder that there is a bigger world out there. You can get lost in the city with the daily grind of life. The hustle and bustle can swallow you up if you let it. When you’re trying to survive, it’s hard not to fall victim to it.
"Makes me think of possibilities."
"What kind?" Niki asks. I open my eyes to see he's watching me.
"Just a different kind of life, you know?"
"I do. I want that for my sister." I smile at that.
There is this whole other side to Niki I don’t think many get to see, and he’s showing it to me. It makes me feel special, and that’s not a normal experience for me.
“I don’t think my mom wants that.” I’d love to get her out of here or on another path, but she doesn’t put any effort into it. “It scares me.” I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that out loud to anyone before. There’s something about Niki that has me doing and saying things I normally wouldn’t.
“It should.”
I love that he doesn’t try to sugarcoat things for me. While it’s nice at the moment, it doesn’t help in the long run. People being honest with me are few and far between, so Niki doing it is refreshing.
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“When people close to you are drowning, they tend to pull you under with them.” As if on cue, I hear the waves hit the rocks below.
“I can’t even swim, so—” I let out a humorless laugh.
“You can’t swim?” A surprised expression takes over his handsome face.
“Nope.” My mom wasn’t taking me to swimming lessons. The most I got was a local park if I was lucky when I was younger.
“Everyone should know how to swim.”
“You could teach me.” I bump him with my shoulder, only teasing.
“I definitely can.”
“I was joking.” I don’t want him to feel obligated or anything.
“You should know how to swim.”
“I think you just want to see me in a bathing suit.”
“Wouldn’t mind it.” He shrugs. There is something about his lackadaisical shrugs that I find oddly endearing.
"But I think you're right. The water is getting rougher, and I am starting to feel like she's pulling me under with her." It's one small thing and then another when it comes to my mom. She knows it’s hard for me to say no to her and uses that against me.
I mean she asked me to go and buy drugs for her, and I did it. I crossed a line I had vowed never to. Soon that will feel normal, and I'd be crossing another line in the sand I tried to draw.
"It can be deceiving."
"What?" I ask, getting a small nod.
"Water is calm and inviting when it wants to be, luring you in, but at the drop of a hat, it can change. It’s fine in the shallow parts, but the more it draws you in, the more dangerous it gets.”
Okay, that's way more of an extensive answer than I thought I was going to get. A reminder that Niki is a whole lot deeper with his emotions than he lets on.
We remain in silence for a few moments. Both of us are lost in our own thoughts.
“I’m getting kind of sleepy now.” I cover the yawn that’s trying to escape. While I don’t want this special time to end, the exhaustion from everything that happened today is starting to set in.
“Let's head back. You need to get some rest.” Niki takes my hand in his, beginning to lead me back the way we came. I stop in my tracks, causing him to turn toward me. I don’t know what comes over me, but I lift up on my tippy toes and place a kiss on his uninjured cheek. “Thanks for taking me here.”
“Yeah.” The one word comes out gruff. We stand there for a long moment; he doesn’t move. I would almost guess he’s not even breathing. Then his eyes drop to my lips, and I unconsciously lick them. “Come on.” He suddenly starts walking again.
I fight a small laugh. Niki runs hot and cold, but I get it. If he’s feeling the things I am toward him, it’s a lot. Not because I don’t want it, per se. The more people you care about, the bigger and harder the load can be, but maybe there are others that can lighten it or shoulder it with you.
We’re both quiet the whole way back to his place. We pass a few random people, but they quickly turn away from us. It's nice to walk down the street and not have to worry about every person. I think I'm with the person people worry over. I actually see one man cross the street to avoid us.
"Here," Niki says when we go back into his place, dropping down to untie my shoes, or I guess his shoes.
"Thanks." It's a small act, one thing a person does when they care and want to care for you. Niki grunts a response. I toe the shoes off. “I’m gonna hit the bathroom and then try to get some sleep.” Niki gives me a nod, and I make my way to the bathroom.
Once inside, I quickly wash up. I straighten my hair for some crazy reason. You’re going to bed, Andy, I remind myself before I open the door and peek my head out. I don’t see Niki. I guess he already went back to the room he was sleeping in earlier. I can’t help the disappointment that I feel.
I shouldn’t have kissed him. Great. Now my mind is racing again. When I enter the room, I stop when I see Niki sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Hey.” I can’t help the smile that overtakes my face when I see he’s here.
“Hey,” he responds. I can’t get a read on him, but fuck it. I go for it.
“We can share the bed if you want.” His brows lift. “I might sleep better. Being in a strange place and all.”
“Not sure that’s a good idea.” He rubs his hand across the top of his head.
“Good ideas aren't what got us here,” I point out. “And honestly, I’m thankful for that.” He tilts his head, a half-smile pulling at his lips.
“Get in.” He pulls back the blanket. “But you better stay on your side.”
I snort a laugh. “I make no promises.”