22. Liliana
Chapter 22
Liliana
Following Smithy out onto the center of the field, I glance up at the stands and think about what it must be like to have thousands of fans screaming your name. To know you could disappoint thousands of people every time you step out here.
I know he doesn’t play on this field anymore, but the stakes are even higher now. I have no clue how many people watch the Pit Bulls games between fans coming to the stadium or watching on the TV, but I know if he doesn’t do well, he disappoints people.
My chest aches when I think about what he told me last week. When we’re not in a good place, his game suffers because of it. I can't help but feel responsible.
“You used to always sit right there.” Smithy stands behind me and twists my body until I'm facing the bleachers. He’s right. I always sat behind left field with Winnie. It was the best way for us to watch Wheeler and Smithy at the same time.
“I miss coming to those games. Winnie and I would get all dolled up before we left the house and after the games, we’d get to party with the entire team.” I smile at the memory.
“Who did you get dressed up for, Sweets?” Smithy murmurs in my ear.
All day, he’s been wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. It’s like he can't live without me in his arms. I'm not complaining. I know in a few short days, our life is going to get chaotic. He’ll be on the road almost as often as he’s home and I'm going to miss him.
“You. It was always you.”
Smithy spins me around to face him. His lips are on mine before I have a moment to breathe. He’s dipping me backwards and giving me exactly what I wanted from him all those years ago.
Then, before I'm ready, he steps away from me and intertwines our fingers. I blink at him in a daze, unable to keep up with him today.
“C’mon, I want to go somewhere.” He leads me off the field and over to where the player locker room door is. The one that exits to the parking lot.
My brows draw together when he stops and leans against the wall. He’s staring off into the distance as a smile spreads over his face.
“The first time I saw you, I was standing like this and waiting for Wheeler to come out of the locker room. I was pissed because we just lost the game. It was a close one and at the last minute, our pitcher got sloppy and ruined our winning streak. I remember stomping out of the locker room and leaning against the wall with my head back so I could look up at the stars.”
“I remember that. You were so upset. You looked so broken.”
“I heard you and Winnie talking. I actually glanced in your direction to tell Winnie to shut the fuck up because her laugh was grating on my nerves.”
“Travis!” I swat at his chest, laughing because I can understand where he’s coming from. Sometimes I want to tell her to be quiet too.
“When I glanced in your direction, I swore I was seeing things. There was no way a woman as beautiful as you could be standing right in front of me.”
“I'm sure.” I roll my eyes.
“I'm serious, Sweets. I was done for before I even knew your name.”
“But you didn’t flirt or ask me out.” I frown up at him. I would’ve remembered if he had. Hell, I would’ve jumped at the chance to date him.
“Oh, I did, baby. I flirted so much the guys on the team made fun of me relentlessly. They kept telling me to move on because you obviously weren’t interested, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk away from you because I knew one day, I’d make you mine.”
“But what about your mystery woman?”
“Ahh, the mystery woman… Do you really not see it? You really don’t know?”
I stare up at him, searching his eyes. If I knew, why would I have asked about her so many times? Why wouldn’t I just call him out.
“Sweets, my mystery woman has always been you.”
“What? No! There was someone else.”
“Nah, it was always you. You were just too blind to see it. I realized after a few months, you weren’t interested. You were too oblivious to your own beauty to realize how amazing you are. You didn’t realize I was flirting because you didn’t expect me to.”
“Then why date other women?”
“I never dated anyone else, Sweets.”
“But you screwed other women.” The words taste bitter as they leave my lips. I know he’s slept with other women, but I don’t like to think about it.
“I did.” He nods his head. He doesn’t make excuses, but he seems almost embarrassed by the fact. “I hate what I did, but I can't change it. I think I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I showered you with attention and tried my hardest to show you how important you were to me, but you were always just out of reach.”
“You could’ve told me.” I lift my shoulder in a shrug.
“You’re right, I could’ve, but I was a pussy and didn’t have the balls to tell you. Hell, I barely had the balls to show up at your date with Kevin. I almost talked myself out of it several times, but I knew things were changing between us. I knew if I let you go on that date and you liked him, I could lose you forever. I can't live without you, Sweets. You’re the only person in the world I’ve ever loved. I plan on it staying that way.”
He tugs me into his arms and holds me close. He doesn’t try to kiss me or say anything else, he’s content just holding me in his arms.
“What else are we doing today?” I peek up at him after a long stretch of silence.
“I have one more place to take you.”
“Where?”
“That cheesesteak place we used to hang out at.”
“The one we were at when we found out you were drafted.” I smile up at him.
“Bingo.” He boops me on the nose before pressing a soft kiss to the tip. “The biggest moments of my life have always included you, Sweets. I don’t plan on that changing.”