Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
Renee
I’d been texting Sampson since Ezra left. But the moment I got my short break, I called him.
“Hey, diva,” he greeted me.
“Hey! I don’t have much time. Tell me what you think.” I spoke fast, filling him in on what had happened with Ezra.
Sampson was silent for a second. I knew he was pondering what I was asking.
“Do it. Clearly, she thought that it was okay to betray you, so I don’t understand your loyalty to her. Especially when you aren’t friends anymore and you don’t plan to go back to being friends.”
“I think it’s because I never wanted to stop being friends with her.”
“I understand that, but let’s keep it one hundred, diva. She undercut you so she would get the scholarship for cheerleading and not you. She had no desire to make it a career move, and she knew it. She did it because she didn’t want you to have it. When she graduated, she focused on modeling. When that didn’t work out for her, she became a content creator. None of that equates to cheerleading. Period.”
He had a point.
“Remove her as a factor, then tell me whether or not you’d want to go on a date with him tonight?”
I exhaled and could no longer run from the truth. “I do.”
“Then do it.”
“I also don’t want to send the wrong message by going over to his apartment late at night.”
“You said he agreed to take it slow, right?”
“He did.”
“Honey, you make the rules. You’re not in a committed relationship without control. Set your boundaries and let him know what they are. There’s a sweet way to do everything. You only have to figure out the details.”
Again… he was right.
“Okay.” I could do this.
“Mhm… so, tell me. What’s he look like?” He changed modes so easily, letting me know it was teatime.
Good thing I had lots to tell.
I knocked on the door, and Ezra answered shortly after.
“I didn’t think you would show,” he said immediately.
“Well, I’m not.” I exhaled and then took a deep breath to summon my willpower.
“Oh.”
“It’s late and I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I was thinking that we could have lunch tomorrow instead. We can still eat roast and do whatever you had planned for tonight. I just prefer it be during reasonable hours.”
Ezra smiled. “Understandable. I’ll see you for lunch then.”
I nodded and began walking away.
“Can I walk you home?”
I thought about it, but it still seemed risky with my hormones demanding to be tried and fucked. “Where’s your phone?”
He pulled it from his pocket, unlocked it, and handed it over. I created a new text message and entered my phone number. I sent a dummy text so we’d have one another’s number.
“I’ll text you when I get there,” I proposed.
“Okay.” He leaned forward and pulled me in for a hug.
Safe. I felt it immediately when I was in his arms.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I said as he pulled away.
“You will.”
I left his place feeling light on my feet and grateful that things had gone my way. It could have plummeted. It didn’t, though. I smiled as I texted Sampson.
Me: He went for it.
Sampson: Because he’s no fool. ??
Me: I guess not.
Sampson: I hope your lunch date is wonderful, diva. ?? Make sure to let me know how it goes.
Me: I will.
Sampson: Good night! ??
Me: Ni ni.
I walked inside my apartment, stripped down, and ran my bath water. I added lots of bubbles so I could soak in a sudsy wonderland. Once submerged, I leaned my head back on the plush white towel and let the rest of my body enjoy the heat of the water. I pulled up his text message, saved his contact, and responded.
Me: Home.
Ezra: Did you enjoy your stroll?
Me: I did.
Ezra: Good. I’m excited about tomorrow. It gives me something to look forward to before the work week begins.
Me: I get that. A little peace of mind. I’m excited too.
Ezra: I feel like there’s a lot to catch up on. We haven’t seen one another in so long.
Me: The past is better left off back there. I’d rather show you who I am now.
Ezra: Respected.
Me: Before we do that. How long has it been since you were in a relationship? I don’t want to be the rebound girl.
Ezra: ?? You’re not. It’s been about six months or so. You?
Me: Going on two years. Do you have any kids?
Ezra: I wish.
Me: Good to know.
Ezra: Are you into the life or are you working at the restaurant because they were passing out jobs?
Me: ?? I am submissive. I doubt they just pass out jobs at a Ranch full of kinky people where safety is a priority.
Ezra: You never know. You’ve been in relationships with that kind of dynamic before?
Me: I have. You?
Ezra: All mine have been.
Me: Whoa. I haven’t been that lucky.
Ezra: I don’t know that I am since I’m still single.
Me: I understand that point as well. But you’ve had time to build your skills, right?
Ezra: I have sharpened certain skills. Are you single?
Me: I wouldn’t be about to go on a date with you if I wasn’t.
Ezra: Date? Who said this was a date?
I froze. He hadn’t actually used that word when he invited me over for dinner.
Ezra: Relax. I’m kidding.
Me: You know your sense of humor is something else. First singing for hours. Then you turned conversations into songs. Now you’re confused about dating me. WTF is wrong with you, crazy man? ??
Ezra: You’re wrong about one thing.
Me: What?
Ezra: I’m not confused. I’ve wanted you since I saw you all those years ago. Something drew me to you then, as it is now.
Me: But you pursued Tammy.
Ezra: She pursued me. Besides, I thought we weren’t talking about the past.
Me: Ezra-1. Renee-0.
Ezra: If we’re keeping score, I need points for the impromptu lunches.
Me: Ezra-1.5. Renee-0.
Ezra: 4 reals? You moaned and everything. That’s at least worth 3 points.
Me: Ezra-1.25. Renee-3.
Ezra: What? ?? Who made these rules? You know, cheaters never prosper.
Me: I don’t cheat. I just win.
Ezra: ??
Me: Now if you don’t mind, I have sleep to get so I’m well rested for my date, that’s not a date.
Ezra: It’s a date all right. Trust and believe.
Me: We’ll see if it’s worth it.
Ezra: In that case, we both should go. Apparently. I need to show you what it’s like to date Ezra Hamilton.
Me: And I’m out. You’re talking in third person now. Ni ni. ??
Ezra: ?? Good night, babygirl.
I bit the side of my lip and tried to contain how giddy I was. It had been a very long time since I’ve been on a date. Not to mention it felt different this time around because of all the work that I’d done over the past six months. I’m still going to therapy weekly, but the risks are substantially down, and I haven’t thought about hurting myself in four months. A relationship was risky, but it wasn’t a concern at the moment because Ezra wanted to take things slowly. That’s what I needed too, for sure.
I followed my bedtime routine: bath, moisturizer, pjs, journaling, a light snack, and then bedtime. Tonight when I fell asleep, all I could think about was the hug Ezra had given me and how out of the ordinary it was. He could’ve leaned in for a kiss. Instead, he gave me the warmest embrace. That said something about him, and it made me trust him a little bit more.