Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
Ezra
I woke up with a text from Renee saying she wasn’t going to switch partners. I exhaled, grateful she hadn’t switched. I responded by emailing her the partner assignment for today. She needed to find a way to drop into her body. I gave her a list of ways to do that.
Dance
Yoga
Massage
Wear your favorite perfume
Clothe yourself in your favorite texture
Renee: What’s the point of this?
Me: To be in tune with yourself. Touch your skin, live in your body, communicate with it, and see what makes it feel good.
Renee: Yes, Sir. Are those my only options? Can I choose more than one?
Me: No, you can do anything you want. Yes, you can choose more than 1.
Renee: Okay.
Me: We’ll chat about it later.
Renee: Yes, Sir. Thanks.
Me: You’re welcome.
My class met on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which meant I wouldn’t see Renee today unless she asked, or I suggested it. Realizing I was still tired, I showered and put on some sweats and a hoodie before making my breakfast. After a quick breakfast sandwich, I laid on the couch and pulled the throw on top of me. Immediately, I smelled Renee on it, and I groaned. Why did she smell so fucking good? Her scent was sweet and subtly spicy. It reminded me of caramel with a little cinnamon sprinkled in. Just a dash.
She…
I woke up to my phone ringing. The living room was dark and clearly the sun had gone down. My stomach ached with hunger, and I was disoriented. I answered the phone without looking at the ID and held the phone for much too long, unsure of what I was supposed to do. A side effect of being in a deep sleep.
“Hello?” Renee said.
“Hey, babygirl.” I heard the rawness in my own voice, so I knew there was no hiding it from her.
“Were you sleeping? I’m sorry.”
“I’m up now. Everything okay?”
“Yes, I wondered if you wanted to have pizza with me tonight. I can have them deliver it to me and I’ll walk over to you.”
“Or I could come to you.”
“Or you could come to me.” Her voice was just above a whisper.
“What should I bring?” I asked her.
“Yourself. I’m hosting. Tell me some of your favorite things. What do you like on your pizza? Thin or thick crust? What sauces?”
I chuckled. “You’re so damn cute. When it comes to pizza, I typically only eat it a few ways. Chicken and pineapple. No sauce.”
“Not even olive oil or butter?”
“I’ve never been asked that. I guess butter would be good.”
“Okay, you said a few ways?”
“Right, second would be stuffed crust, bacon and pepperoni, onions, extra sauce. And third, extra cheese and extra sauce. Pan crust for all.”
“Wings?”
“Hot with ranch. BBQ with bleu cheese.”
“Drink?”
“Root beer or Pepsi.”
“Chips?”
“Spicy Nacho or Cool Ranch Doritos.”
“Candy?”
“Not with my pizza. Brownies or chocolate chip cookies.”
“What are you wearing?”
“Sweats.”
“Is it too soon to cuddle?” she asked.
“Fuck no. I’ve been wanting you in my arms since I saw you.”
“How long do you need?” she asked.
“An hour. I need to wake the hell up and figure out where my life went today. I’m sure my assistant is probably worried sick since I was supposed to have some things in to her today. So yeah, an hour.”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Will do.”
We hung up, and I grunted at how out of it I felt. I guess I needed to cuddle just as much as my babygirl did. No words, only body language. First up, pissing, washing my hands and face, and then brushing my teeth. I checked my face in the mirror and saw the wild hairs sprouting around my face. It was time for a lineup. Haircut, too.
When I exited the bathroom, I picked up my phone to see thirteen missed calls from Kelly. I groaned because she was going to be pissed. I called her back, not bothering with just a text.
“You’re alive.”
“I am. Sorry. I guess I needed some R&R. I passed out this morning and woke up moments ago.”
“Good. I forgive you for getting rest. We still need to discuss a few things.”
I heard movement and knew she was going to her laptop. That woman always had it nearby. “Shoot.”
“Tammy’s supposed to be out this week. She told you about the extra month she needed?”
“Yes.”
“Have you decided about selling yet?”
“No. I haven’t been there in months. Makes me wonder if I should cut my losses.”
“You said it, not me.” She laughed.
“Yeah, I know.”
“There are a few people who want to see some major houses while you’re away. What do you want to do about them?”
“If we can schedule them on the weekends, I can drive to them, stay the weekend, and be back Sunday evening. That way, I can get some sleep before class.”
“All right. Promise you won’t burn yourself out?”
“I do. I love doing these workshops, so I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize it. But also, I have to pay the bills.”
“At a place you aren’t living.”
“Watch it, Kelly.”
“I’m never going to lie to you,” she sassed.
That much was true. “I understand. I haven’t decided what I want to do because I do love the place. It’s starting to feel less and less like home, though.”
“I get that, too. What if you start looking for something else in case you decide to move? Then you’ll have options. It’s not like you don’t have connections to get into places off the market to others.”
“Good point.”
“I know.” She began typing, and I already knew she was looking. “I’ll send you what I find.”
“Okay. Anything else?”
“Nope. Everything else is covered.”
“All right. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Night, boss.”
The call was disconnected, and I went into the kitchen to make myself a small cup of coffee to help shift the fog inside my head. I took it with me on my walk to Renee’s apartment. I got there with a few minutes to spare and knocked.
Renee answered the door, and I smiled big. How could I not when she looked so damn adorable. Pink fuzzy pants, hoodie, slippers, black t-shirt that read “don’t fuq with me” on it, and her eyes were lit up. Her hair was in pigtails and her energy was contagious.
“Hey, babygirl.”
She beamed and motioned for me to come in. When I did, she walked up close and put her arms around my waist. Home. I lowered my head so I could rest in how good it felt to hold her. Her hair smelled freshly clean, as did the rest of her.
“Hello, Ezra,” she mumbled into my chest. “I’m sorry if this feels like a lot, I really needed a hug though.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.
“I must be about to start my period because I feel… yucky.”
“Got it.” I shook my head. “No, this isn’t too much.”
There was a knock behind me, startling me.
“That must be the food. I hope you’re hungry.” She giggled before letting me go.
I turned around and answered the door. It was the delivery person and Renee tried to retrieve it and I stopped her.
“You sign the receipt. I’ll get this stuff,” I told her.
“Yes, Sir.”
After I retrieved everything, I took it inside the living room and placed it on the table there. When I got back, she was finishing up.
“Thank you, so much,” she said, while closing the door.
“What next?” I asked her.
“Uh… you pick the movie, and I’ll get plates and glasses.”
“Okay.”
I left my shoes by the door and came back to the living room. This time I paid attention to the details of it. The feel was soft and homey, like she’d spent time making it hers. The living room was a pale pink paired with cream. Plush pillows lined the small sectional couch, the walls had picture frames of art that were of the same color palette, the cream floor rug beneath the coffee table had pink fringe, and the wooden figures that sat in the corners drew your eyes to their line work.
“It’s okay. Nothing in here will bite you.” She giggled as she came in with a tray of ice, glasses, and plates.
“No, it’s not that at all.”
“Oh… is something wrong?” She looked around as if she expected to see something out of place.
“Not wrong. People pay a lot of money to get this level of warmth in a single room. You’ve done an amazing job of it.”
Renee smiled, and her shoulders relaxed. “Thank you.”
“Where should we get settled in?” I asked, taking her lead on this.
After she set down the tray, she removed pillows from the end of the sofa where it curved. It made the most sense for what she was trying to achieve if cuddling was still on the menu. Renee took my hand and walked me to the couch where she wanted me to sit. I did, and she patted the couch where it extended toward the television. Putting my legs up, she added another pillow behind my back and observed my posture.
“Comfortable?”
“Extremely, thank you.”
Renee smiled big and got to work. She took a plate and opened a pizza box, making the smell of bacon more potent. My stomach growled, and she giggled. She opened the other box and moved it further down the table. Then she arranged all the snacks, poured me root beer into a glass, and then pulled the table closer to the couch. When it dawned on me what she was doing, I moved to get up.
“No, Sir.” She shook her head quickly. “I’ve got it.”
I swallowed, not liking her moving the furniture. Not that it was heavy, I just…
She plopped a pillow on the floor next to me and dropped down to sit. Everything was in reach for her. That’s when I truly saw what was happening here. She pulled a slice of pizza from the left and one from the right side. Two different kinds. On the other side, she put Cool Ranch Doritos, wings in the middle, and handed it to me. She served me while kneeling, napkins underneath the plate. Stunned, I took the offering. A woman on her knees was a weakness I kept to myself–a quick way to get whatever you wanted from me.
“Thank you.”
Renee nodded and took the remote from her pocket. Turning on the tv, she pulled up a popular streaming app. Then she handed the remote to me.
“Please choose whatever you’d like from my list.” While I scrolled, she fixed her own plate.
I chose one of my favorite movies, Silver Linings Playbook .
“Great choice.”
I put the remote beside me and lifted a slice of pizza. Renee sat in the same manner as me, but on the floor .
“I’ve seen this so many times. And I always catch something new.” She giggled to herself.
“Just don’t have a bipolar episode.”
She snickered, getting the movie reference. When half the food on my plate was gone, she passed me my drink. The rest of our time watching the movie went similarly. She anticipated my needs before I had a chance to say anything. When I was nice and full, I gave her my plate and she disappeared to get a blanket. She moved to sit on the floor, and I pulled my babygirl into my lap. It was my turn to get what I wanted. She rested her ass between my legs with her head back against my chest. The blanket covered us, and it felt right. I changed the movie when the first one was over, and she wrapped my free arm around her. That’s when she truly relaxed. She made it halfway through when I heard soft snoring. Maybe the sound of her sleeping so pleasantly was the lull I needed because, despite my long nap, my own eyes got heavy, and I fell asleep sometime later.
I woke to Renee shifting to get more comfortable and her pulling my other arm around her. I had no idea how long I’d been in that position, but I started to ache from sitting. I needed to stretch but didn’t want to disturb her.
“Are you okay?” she mumbled.
“I need to stretch,” I admitted.
“Okay.” She scooted forward, giving me space to do so. “Oh, my god. I had no idea it was this late.”
Her voice was groggy still and I could hear the hesitation in her tone.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m super needy today.”
Standing, I stretched my body and relieved the uncomfortableness from my muscles. “Why does that have to be bad?”
“We’ve been on one date, Ezra.”
“True, but we’re not strangers. We have history. Plus, we’ve spent time together three times before tonight.”
Her eyebrows questioned my logic.
“My apartment, your job, and then our official date.”
“Are you not counting your time serenading me?” she joked.
“Absolutely not. I don’t know that guy.” I chuckled, and she joined me, laughing.
“Okay, four times.”
“Four times,” I confirmed. “Then tonight. It doesn’t shock me that we’re comfortable with one another. Some things just feel right, you know. This does.”
“And you’re okay with that?” she asked.
“Renee, I know we need to learn much more about one another, but I’ve wanted you for a long time. Mind you, those feelings went on reserve when I was with Tammy, but seeing you here unlocked all of that once again. I’m not trying to rush anything. I am curious about where it’ll go. The pace—it is what it is. I’m right where I need to be.”
“Doesn’t make me less scared.” Her words came out barely above a whisper.
“Why?” I asked, taking a seat again.
“I know what I said about leaving the past as the past…”
“But?”
“Mine was a mess. I’ve only been with people who didn’t deserve my affection. I’m tired of that. I don’t want to get pulled into you for it to be so disappointing. Nothing toward you, but my track record is so horrid.” The chuckle she let out wasn’t one of fun and happiness. It was filled with sarcasm and despair. A laugh that was used to cover up pain.
“I don’t want to imagine what you’ve been through. I’m too handsome to go to jail for killing your exes.”
This time when Renee giggled, she was back in the space of lightheartedness.
“Can I trust you, Ezra?” She turned to me, and the glow from the tv shone off the side of her face.
“I think so. I’m always honest, even when it sucks to be so. I don’t have anything to hide. You’re not the only one nervous. I’ve been hurt, too. Lied to. Cheated on. Manipulated. I’ve come to the conclusion recently that those failings are on the people who did it. I’m no less of a man, less of a Dominant, less of a provider or partner because they failed to give me what I gave them. Whatever is meant for them will be. It so happens that I’m not it. They’ve only made me more resilient for my person. She–whomever she is–will get all of me when she lets me in.” I paused, wondering if I was coming on too strong. Then I threw caution to the wind, trusting my instincts. “I’d love it if ‘she’ was you. However, you’ve got to want that, too. If not, we’ll both move on and be better for it. As far as trust, I’ll keep showing up the way I do until you stop being present. My hard rule is don’t lie to me. I can’t forgive it. It’s the way I’m wired. I always make sure I tell all my partners that, though. Communicate. As long as you do, we’ll be fine. No matter how it ends.”
“Why are you so sexy, Ezra?” She sighed.
“I… don’t know.” I shrugged. “It’s in the eye of the beholder though. I’m just me.”
“And it is authentically sexy.” She stood and came over to where I sat. “Honesty falling from your lips is so… hot.” She giggled. “I never thought I’d use that word on someone.”
“Well, you’re just as tempting, babygirl.” I pulled her between my legs and lifted her t-shirt to expose her stomach. Soft, I kissed it before resting my forehead there. Holding her close. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment.
Renee stroked the back of my head, down my neck, and over my shoulders. I knew she wasn’t trying to arouse me, but she had. The way she touched me was sure and fearless. She didn’t ask for permission. She claimed what she wanted with her fingers and it drew me further into the bubble we’d created.
I…
“Ezra…”
I heard her calling my name, pulling me from a half dreamlike state. “Yeah?” I swallowed, trying to erase the sleep from my throat.
“Come on.”
“Right.” I needed to get home, to bed, and actually rest. I stood up and stretched again. When I finished, Renee took my hand.
“Come on.” She led me to the back of her apartment. I followed, assuming she was taking me to a guest bedroom, but she wasn’t.
I slowed at the doorway when I saw it was her space. She tugged me in with a light pull of the hand. I exhaled, calling all the willpower in the world to help me behave.
Bed plus Renee equaled temptation at its finest.
She lifted my sweatshirt, pulling it over my head as much as she could while standing on the tips of her toes. I helped when she couldn’t reach any higher. She went for my t-shirt next. Pants after. Hopefully in the dark, she couldn’t make out how aroused she was making me. She removed her hoodie, pants, and slippers. Her t-shirt hit the top of her thighs, giving me more than enough to look at. When she reached for the hem of her shirt, I stopped her.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I warned.
She giggled but continued, raising it high enough for her to fidget with her bra and remove it without taking off her t-shirt fully. I growled at her, and she backed up to the bed where she climbed in. I watched her ass wiggle and entice me as she moved. She went to the far side, making it clear the closest side was for me. It was cool in here, and the revolving fan in the corner ensured it stayed that way. She was beneath the blanket, waiting for me to join her. Convinced I would be fine, I went for it. However, as soon as I was comfortable, she scooted over and rested her head on my chest, then pressed her body against me. Automatically, my arm went around her and she nestled in.
“Thank you, Ezra.”
“For?”
“Everything.”
Not knowing what else to say, I went with the simple solution. “You’re welcome.” Sleep came easy, and it was the best I’d have in a very long time.