Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
T ressy
I made my way down to the ice from the concourse. I didn’t see anyone else in the seats, although I could hear the guys in the locker room, their voices loud and laced with enough profanity to make my ears burn. It actually made me a little nostalgic for my performing days, when I’d huddle in a dark corner of the set watching the crew set up. They’d become used to me hiding there from my mom and the PR people who had “just one more interview.”
The arena was colder than any set I’d been on, and I stuffed my hands in the pocket of the sweatshirt. It wasn’t a very big arena, probably only held four thousand people. The auditorium my mom had rented for my sister’s concert last night held six thousand. At the time, I’d been amazed that it’d been sold out, because my sister didn’t have that big of a following.
I hadn’t questioned why my mom had wanted to hold my sister’s concert in New York. Tiff wasn’t as well known in New York, didn’t have some of the baggage she would’ve carried in L.A. And when my mom had guilted me into showing up, I had grudgingly admitted that I really should make an appearance.
But then my mom had sprung her trap. Even though she knew how much I hated performing now. How it made me physically ill to even think about getting on stage. It’d felt like a knife in my back when my mom had told me how she’d managed to sell out that auditorium. By promising the return of Teresa Sinclair to the spotlight. Along with a special guest.
“We need you to do this for your sister. All you need to do is this one concert. That’s all she needs to get back on her feet.”
The sound of men’s laughter drew my attention to the tunnel that led out from beneath the seats, pushing away the memories of last night.
My heart began to beat faster, and my lungs squeezed tighter. But this was totally different from the feeling I got just thinking about performing. I wasn’t going to think about why that might be. Instead, I forced myself to look around the arena, instead of staring at the entrance, waiting for a glimpse of Rowdy.
Nope, I was not obsessing over the guy. Not at all.
My gaze slipped to the short walls around the ice, covered with advertisements for local businesses. Tommy’s Auto Service. Martin’s Farm Stand, complete with a map that looked like it’d been drawn by a child. The Daily Register, where you could read all about your favorite teams. The local John Deere dealer and the local hardware store and the local restaurant.
Maybe I really had landed in an alternate reality, where people lived in small towns and actually enjoyed it. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere without round-the-clock delivery and decent Thai food. And the anonymity that came with living in a city of millions.
You’re a snob.
Probably. But I wasn’t enough of a snob not to drool over brawny hockey players with messy hair and scruffy chins, because, oh my god . My breath caught in my throat and my heart did a wild jig when the first guys stepped out onto the ice.
But none of them were Rowdy.
The men began to skate around the ice, but my eyes stayed glued to the entrance. And then there he was. The hair flowing around his shoulders and that smile that could totally sell millions for a toothpaste company. The slightly crooked nose and those dark eyes that made me want to stare into them like a lovesick idiot.
The crowd let out a cheer, but he looked up and looked straight at me, his grin widened, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. I deliberately looked away, watched the guys circle the ice a few times before breaking off into pairs and trios, laughing and talking with one another.
Rowdy and Rebel peeled off with a couple of guys at the other end of the ice from where I was, so I couldn’t hear them. Rowdy leaned on his stick, shaking his head, his mouth curved. Whatever Rebel was saying, Rowdy thought it was pretty damn amusing. And when he was amused, he smiled. This smile was open and free and totally easy.
Why now?
With everything going on in my life, why did I have to catch feelings for a man now? One I didn’t even know. Who was so totally outside the small bubble of my life. Was it a response to the stress from yesterday? Maybe my mind was trying to distract me with lust. If that was the case, it was working like a charm.
A loud bang, almost like a gong, made me start, my gaze snapping back to the entrance the guys had used to get on the ice. A member of the team was rolling out a metal barrel from beneath the stands. He smacked the side with a log again, making that gong sound.
Flames emerged from the top. It looked like the kind of thing you’d see at a campfire. Were they going to roast marshmallows? Make smores? Burn all those jock straps the rookie had collected?
I smiled, shaking my head as I remembered Rowdy’s laughter. And feeling that heat in my gut move lower.
“Mommy, did we miss the rishual?”
I turned with a smile to see Krista running down the stairs toward me. She looked happy, her normal reserve wiped away by joy.
“What have you been up to this morning, baby?”
Scooping Krista into my arms, I hugged her close, loving the way my daughter’s arms wrapped around my neck and squeezed.
“Miss Raffi and I went shopping, and we got stuff for the rishual.”
“And what stuff did you get for the ritual?”
“Stuff to eat! She said we had to have sussefance.”
I smiled at Krista’s adorable mispronunciations. “And what kind of sustenance did you get?”
“Well, Miss Raffi said we had to have some good stuff, but we got popcorn and gummy bears too, because Miss Raffi said we gotta be a little bad.”
“What I said was, you have to be a little bad sometimes . Oh good, we didn’t miss anything. They’re just getting started.”
Raffi smiled at me in a way that couldn’t help but make me feel wrapped in a warm, fuzzy hug. I don’t know how she managed that. The woman just seemed like every cliché ever written of the perfect wife and mother. Of course, she couldn’t be. No one was that perfect.
“Why don’t we sit down and get ready for the festivities to start.”
I moved over so Krista and Raffi could sit next to me. By the time they were settled, the guys had moved the flaming tub to the center of the rink, where the team formed a circle around it. All of the guys held something, mostly pieces of paper. Some of the guys had what looked like stuffed animals, and there were a few things I couldn’t make out. And yes, the rookie was holding the jockstraps.
I still wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen, but strangely, I couldn’t wait to see. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, and I barely wanted to admit it to myself, but I was fascinated by Rowdy. Big, boisterous, loud. Someone I never would’ve found attractive before but now couldn’t seem to look away from. What did he always find so amusing? I’d never met anyone who smiled as much as he did. He couldn’t be that happy all the time. It just wasn’t possible.
“Do they do this every year?”
I spoke in a near-whisper as I saw other people sliding into seats throughout the arena. No one sat too close to the ice, as if they were giving the team privacy.
I felt like a voyeur, watching something forbidden. Or sacred. Which was totally ridiculous. They were playing a game, not fighting fires or curing cancer. But as more and more people filtered into the stands, the quieter it seemed to get. It almost felt like church, or at least what I remembered of church from the few times I’d been in one.
“Yes. It’s been a tradition since the second season.” Raffi kept her voice low, as well. “The boys don’t like to admit they’re superstitious, but they don’t mess with traditions.”
“Rookies, listen up!”
Rowdy’s voice rang through the arena, make a little shiver run up my spine and…lower.
“Hockey is a game, but it’s also a way of life.”
I snuffled a laugh, my eyes wide as I turned to Raffi to share the joke. But Raffi wasn’t laughing. And neither was anyone else in the arena. Luckily, Raffi’s attention was firmly fixed on the ice, so she hadn’t seen my reaction. Quickly, I refocused my gaze. Back to Rowdy.
“We are family. We take care of each other. We watch each other’s back. We kick the shit out of anyone who messes with our family. We help each other reach our goals. We score goals!”
The guys cheered, though it sounded more like a roar, raising their sticks in the air.
“And today, we offer the hockey gods our sacrifices for a great season.”
Another roar, this one louder.
“Rookies, did you bring your offering?”
A few of the younger guys looked at each other, shaking their heads, their expressions ranging from disdain to confusion. But none of them said a word, just held up whatever they had in their hands. Rowdy pulled something out of the front of his pants. And damn, if that didn’t make me think about putting my hands there, as well.
I shoved that thought out of my head as fast as it’d popped in. I didn’t need that floating around, giving me ideas I couldn’t do a damn thing about. Because we weren’t staying long. Just a few days. I couldn’t sleep with Rowdy. Okay, sleep was not what I wanted to do with Rowdy, but I couldn’t have sex with him either.
Why not?
Because I couldn’t. Just nope-nope-nope.
“My offering to the hockey gods,” he continued. “The x-ray of my torn ACL two years ago. I’ve been holding onto this since then, knowing I would need it. I burn this as insurance against injury this season.”
Rowdy threw the x-ray into the flaming barrel and a few of the guys began to chant, “Burn, burn, burn” as it caught fire. After Rowdy, it was Rebel’s turn. Then Bobby. One after another, until every member of the team had thrown something into the flames.
It was both absurd and weirdly compelling. I’d never seen anything like it, and I worked with actors, who were some of the most ridiculously superstitious people on the planet. If they picked up their coffee mug the wrong way or their hairbrush was on the wrong side of the makeup table, it’d send them into a panic spiral.
I really hadn’t known what to expect, but it hadn’t been this serious, almost religious experience. By the time Denny tossed a handful of jockstraps into the fire—except for the one he was supposed to wear tonight, I assumed—the entire team looked stoked. Completely committed. And they all looked at Rowdy to lead them.
Rowdy no longer had a smile, his expression completely serious. And compelling. And way too damn handsome.
Swallowing hard, I tried not to fidget in my seat. Raffi was too perceptive. Or maybe she really could read minds. I definitely didn’t want Rowdy’s mother to read mine right now because it was filled with x-rated visions of her son.
“All right, boys, let’s skate a few laps, loosen up and go over the game plan for tonight.”
Another whoop went up and the circle broke apart as the guys skated around the perimeter of the ice. Someone I assumed was from the ice crew took the burning tub away. The spectators began to talk amongst themselves.
And Rowdy skated over to the entrance onto the ice, where there was no glass, looked directly at me and crooked his finger.
If it’d been any other man, I would’ve given him a different finger and ignored him. I couldn’t ignore Rowdy. Didn’t want to ignore him.
“I think I’m being summoned.” I turned to give Raffi a look that I hoped conveyed my amusement and not the heat coursing through me.
“Can I come, too?”
Krista’s question kicked me back to reality. Nothing was going to happen here. Nothing could happen. We were only going to be here a few days. I had too many responsibilities at home, first and foremost…Krista .
“Of cou?—”
“Krista, honey,” Raffi said, “why don’t you come with me to help decorate the family suite?”
“What’s a family sweet? Is there candy?”
Krista’s attention immediately turned to her new best friend. I couldn’t blame her. Raffi was the cool mom my mom would never be. My mom was too driven, too hardened by a rough early life and too bitter about what she didn’t have that she thought she deserved.
Raffi laughed and took Krista’s hand. “There is candy. Why don’t you come with me, and I’ll show you. I really could use your help.”
Raffi looked at me and winked as Krista glanced at Rowdy before deciding candy trumped hockey player and taking Raffi’s outstretched hand.
“Tell Rowdy I’ll see him later,” Krista said with a look that made me bite back a smile. Krista’s natural sass was finally rising back to the top. Where it should be.
For years, I’d been the good girl. The one who followed the rules and gave a hundred-and-ten percent of myself to everything. Who let my mother dictate my life because it was best for the family. Not always best for me.
I vowed not to let that happen to my daughter.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” I said. “Be good for Raffi.”
“No need to worry about that.” Raffi laughed. “I raised four ruffians. Krista is definitely not a ruffian.”
“But I wanna be a Ruffy Ann, too.”
I snorted and Krista looked at me with wide eyes.
“You can be whatever you want to be, honey. I just want you to be a good girl for Miss Raffi, okay?”
“I can do that.”
I laughed even harder when I realized Krista had mimicked me perfectly. I said that exact phrase at least five-hundred times a day when I was working and, since I worked at home with Krista most of the day, she’d obviously picked it up from me.
“All right, sweetheart.” I directed my next words to Raffi. “Thank you. I can’t?—”
“Stop right there.” Raffi held up the hand that wasn’t holding Krista’s. “No need to say anything else. Honestly, Krista’s been the bright spot in my day. There aren’t enough little ones in my life right now, so thank you for letting me borrow her.”
Raffi sounded so honestly grateful, I didn’t know what to say. Krista’s own grandmother loved her but never treated her like a precious gift.
I nodded, biting my tongue against the threat of tears as Raffi and Krista turned and headed out of the row and up the stairs. I had no idea where they were going, but I knew Krista would be fine.
I couldn’t say the same for myself. That man’s smile made me feel like my bones were jelly. Taking my time down the stairs so I didn’t trip, I reached Rowdy, who was leaning against the boards, dark eyes shining with amusement.
“Have a good time?”
“It was…interesting.” I smiled, hoping he wouldn’t think I was trying to make fun of him but not wanting to fawn all over him. “It looked like you all were having a good time.”
“It’s a good team-building exercise. And it gives the veterans a chance to get to know the rookies better.”
I stopped on the last step, wondering if this guy was for real. He seemed…decent. Nice. Down to earth. All wrapped in a bad-boy exterior that was catnip to my inner Bad Girl. I knew he wasn’t perfect. No one was, myself included. As a kid, I’d been too trusting, too ridiculously na?ve. Now I trusted no one, because everyone wanted something from you. Nothing came without strings.
What did Rowdy want from a woman he didn’t even know?
Same thing you want from a man you don’t know .
It couldn’t be that easy, could it? A random flirtation, maybe a little covert making out? And if I was lucky, a couple of orgasms that led to nothing more than a quick smile and “thanks so much, have a good life,” the next morning. I couldn’t even remember the last time that had happened to me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it now.
“How long have you played for the team?”
Small talk. Sure, that’s really gonna take my mind off the strong neck I want to lick.
“Come to the game tonight and you’ll find out all you need to know. Then let me take you out for a drink after.”
Oh, yes, please.
“Won’t you be too tired to go out?”
His smile widened. “I’m not ancient, and I’m never too tired to buy a drink for a beautiful woman.”
My brows rose at his blatant flirting, making him huff out a laugh.
“You’re gonna be hell on my ego, Tressy, but I still want to get that drink after the game. Say yes. Please.”
I wanted to. He was the first man in years I’d wanted to spend time with. The first man to stoke my dormant sexuality.
Say yes, already.
But I was staying with his parents, and it almost seemed disrespectful to want to have hot sex with the son of the woman letting me and my daughter stay in her home.
“You know your little girl has my mom wrapped around her finger. Mom’s probably already making plans for her and Krista tonight.”
I shook my head. “You’re pretty damn sure of yourself.”
Rowdy huffed out a laugh, his grin slipping for a quick second. “Only on the ice. Solid ground gives me more of a problem.”
“I don’t believe that one bit.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re one of the most confident men I’ve ever met. ”
And I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Rowdy’s confidence was sexy, not pretentious or a pitiful cry for attention.
“Stay for a while.”
This time, his words were quiet, sincere.
I paused, though I knew what my answer would be. “I think…I’d like to.”
Now his smile returned. “Good. I’ll see you at the game. The team always starts off the season with a private dinner before the game. Mom and Rainbow usually do dinner together, so I’m sure you and Krista will be invited along with them.”
“You all spend a lot of time together. You work together, eat together, live near each other.” I couldn’t imagine having to live with my mom now. Or even live in the same state. “Doesn’t that get…stifling?”
He shrugged like it was nothing. “Nah. They’re family.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. My family was nothing like his. And I was almost ashamed to say anything else. It felt disloyal. And pathetic. For so long, I’d lived like my family was a necessary evil. Maybe it would be good for Krista to see how a real family functioned.
“I would love to go for a drink.”
His smile warmed every part of my body from head to toe.