Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
R owdy
“Hey, Rowdy. Can I – I need –You got a minute?”
“Sure, JJ. What’s up?”
Jason Kruse motioned to me from a corner of the hall that led to the locker room. I’d just walked through the doors, so the first-year defenseman must’ve been waiting for me. I hadn’t noticed him right away, which was almost impossible to believe because the guy’s six-three and nearly two-hundred-twenty pounds.
But I’d been…distracted. Something had changed with Tressy after we’d had sex in the kitchen, which I could never walk into again without getting a hard on. She’d gotten quiet and her smile hadn’t exactly reached her eyes. I’d wanted to ask if I’d done something wrong, but when she’d come out of the bathroom, whatever it was seemed to have passed.
I’d dropped her back at my parents’ place so she could take a shower and get ready for the game. She’d kissed me before getting out of my truck, and it hadn’t been just a little peck. There’s been some tongue action and a whole lot of heat but … Something was off.
Was she thinking about leaving? I hoped to hell she was thinking more about staying.
“Hey, I need to tell you something.”
JJ’s voice pulled me back to the present with a jolt. My attention immediately focused on my teammate, who, I realized, was pretty damn close to having a full-on meltdown. He was sweating, his breathing heavy and labored, like he’d just spent a double shift on the ice. And I recognized that look on his face. Sheer panic.
I took a breath before asking, “What happened, JJ?”
I didn’t make it accusatory or sharp, just like I was asking him what he wanted to have for dinner.
“Man, I fucked up.” He shoved a hand through short, dark hair that looked like he’d done that a few times before. “And I don’t know what to do.”
All the hair on my arms stood on end. The misery in his voice nailed me in the gut like a sucker punch. I took a step closer, trying to see his eyes, which he kept focused on the ground.
“Did you hurt someone?”
He shook his head immediately but still didn’t look up. “No, it’s not like that. I…”
“Okay, then, just spit it out. It’s just the two of us here. No one else. Let me ask you two questions first. Are the police involved? And do you need a lawyer?”
That made JJ look up, eyes wide. His pupils didn’t look blown, and he looked genuinely shocked that I would ask those questions.
“No. No, it’s nothing like that.”
“That’s good, then.” I sighed silently and forced a smile. “Then it’s not as bad as you think it is. Just breathe, dude. ”
JJ blinked, looking like he hadn’t considered that. Then he took a deep breath and blew it out. And another. While I pulled up my mental records on the guy. He’d just turned twenty-six and had come to us from a stint in the AHL somewhere out west. Couldn’t remember where and it didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact that the guy had had a habit. A cocaine habit, if I remembered correctly.
“I took that hit into the boards last night.” He shoved his hands through his short blond hair, making it stand straight up. “I didn’t think anything about it until I got back to my apartment last night and my fucking knee started to hurt. It’s the first fucking game of the season, and I can’t be out already. I just thought I’d take one. I don’t even know why I still have the fucking shit. Fuck, that’s not even true. I know why I have them.”
“JJ. Stop.” I didn’t want to raise my voice, but the guy was spiraling. I grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, finally getting him to meet my gaze. “How much did you take?”
“Two.”
Two what? Snorts? He must have seen my confusion because he shook his head, his eyes wide. “Fuck no! I didn’t do blow. I made a promise to my mom, and I’m sticking to it. But the doc I saw over the summer prescribed Tylenol with codeine for my back. I know I should’ve told him I couldn’t take it. But my back was fucking messed up, and I knew this team was my last chance, and I couldn’t fuck it up. I was real careful about it. I only took a couple until I could tolerate the pain, but I should’ve flushed the rest. I know I should’ve. But I kept them and?—
“JJ. Hey, man. Take a breath. I know you think you fucked up, but this isn’t unfixable.”
Okay. Not cocaine. Jesus, I thought he’d snorted a few lines. But I could tell he was torn up about this. “Where are the rest?”
“In my truck. I was afraid to bring them inside with me.”
“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do.”
Over JJ’s shoulder, I saw movement. My dad, heading for the locker room. He gave me a look that was a question. Did I need him? Did he need to get involved?
I shook my head, just enough for him to know I had this. My dad nodded back and kept going. He knew I’d fill him in later. Right now, JJ needed me.
“First, we’re gonna talk to the doc about your knee.” If it was bad enough for the guy to willingly take something he didn’t want to, then there was something wrong. “And then we’ll talk to the doc about the pills.”
Sonny Morelli had seen his fair share of addicted athletes with the Devils. Dad and his soft spot for tough cases made sure of it.
“Jesus, I’m sorry, Rowdy. It’s the second fucking game?—”
“Wouldn’t matter if it was the fifth or the twenty-fifth.” I gave his shoulder a little shake, keeping that connection between us so I didn’t lose his focus. “We’re still going to take care of this. Together. Hey, if you’d tried to deal with it by yourself and it’d gotten worse, I might not’ve been able to help. But you were smart enough to know you needed help. That’s all that matters, man.”
The look of relief on JJ’s face let me know I’d said the right thing. I could’ve fucked this up badly, but I hadn’t so I’d take the win.
“Come on, let’s go talk to Doc Morelli.”
“Hey, Rowdy. What’s up with you? You nearly let me drill you into the boards last period. Not that I wouldn’t have liked it, but you’re obviously not here, so it wouldn’t have been fun.”
I looked at Fiskers across the blue line as we lined up against each other at the start of the second period. The logic in that statement was a little twisted, but that kind of perfectly explained our league so …
“Just a lot of shit on my mind.”
The ref dropped the puck, and the teams went into motion. We’d won the faceoff, which was kind of a surprise, so I skated up ice, Fiskers on my ass. I know I’d been preoccupied the first period, the conversation with JJ and the situation with Tressy battling for space in my brain, but I thought I’d kept my distraction under control.
But if Fisky, who wasn’t the most observant guy, had noticed, I must’ve been pretty out of it. Probably why my team had been giving me some distance. They’d been way too quiet in the locker room now that I thought about it.
I had to drag my head out of my ass, or I was gonna get my ass handed to me. Maybe not by Fiskers but definitely by one of the young guns on his team. The young ones always wanted to make a statement.
Narrowing my focus back to the game, I scoped out the situation. We were in the offensive end, but we were going to lose control of the puck if I didn’t do something.
I skated into the middle of the scrum in the corner, both teams fighting for possession of the puck. I checked Fiskers out of the way, which made the crowd roar, fans banging on the glass. When I got possession, I skated behind the net, trying to shake the defender. Realizing we were in scoring position, I passed to Misha, who one-timed it at the net. The goalie was ready for that one, but I skated around to the side of the net, where I picked up the rebound and shot it over the goalie’s shoulder into the net.
The goal horn sounded, and the crowd screamed like we’d just won the fucking Olympics. And it felt good.
My team crowded around me knocking helmets and patting me on the back.
“Goddamn, Rowdy. Nice shot,” Reid shouted to be heard over the crowd. “Nice fucking shot.”
Yeah, it had been. And even though it’d been a while since I’d scored, probably sometime around the middle of last season, I still remembered my goal celebration.
First, I skated to the bench and knocked gloves with my teammates. Then I grabbed the air cannon from the equipment manager, who had a huge smile. The crowd cheered as the clip of the goal played on the screens above center ice, and I stopped to watch it along with them, my grin growing.
Last year, I’d sucked at scoring. I’d had maybe fifteen goals all season. My points total had been decent because of assists, but I’d forgotten how good it was to actually put the puck in the net and have the fans cheer.
With my goal song, “My Redemption” by Halestorm, blasting out of the speakers, I skated around the arena and shot t-shirts with my face on them into the crowd. When I got to the side with the suites, I stopped to wave to Krista, who was jumping up and down next to her mom. Tressy’s smile made everything that much better.
After sending her a wink just for her, I skated back to the bench and play resumed. When I sat on the bench, Coach leaned down so I could hear him over the roar of the crowd. “Nice job, Rowdy. Another few like that, and I won’t have to buy my own drinks for a while.
I nodded, confidence heating my blood. “Let’s blow up some expectations tonight, Coach. Let’s give them the show they deserve.”
Scotty shook his head, steel-gray hair perfectly combed, a wry grin on his face. After smacking my back, he moved back up the bench to where he usually stood. “Alright, then. Let’s get a few more, boys, and make hell freeze over.”
As the next line headed over the boards and onto the ice, Rebel slid into the empty space on the bench next to me.
“Looks like someone got their mojo back.”
I glanced at Rebel but didn’t see the sarcasm I expected. I shrugged, trying not to feel too impressed with myself. “It’s the second game. I got a goal. Give me a break.”
“You don’t need a break. Maybe you just needed a push.”
Rebel stuck his elbow in my side then jumped over the boards to take his shift.
Or maybe I just needed someone to see me in a different light.