KAT
Fatigue and stress turned the next few hours into a blur. Mostly, I thought about my mother, who was so young when she moved to the United States. Our birth father was twice her age. Though I didn’t remember much about him, I did recall him yelling a lot.
At twenty-nine, I was a decade older than my mother was when she gave birth. I couldn’t imagine how scared Lora must have been. I wished I could step back in time and console that frightened young woman.
Just after the epidural was administered, Maria wiped my wet cheeks and whispered, “You were right. Rowdy can be sweet.”
My sister’s words lifted my heavy heart. I had been stressed about the possibility of my death leaving Maria alone with two children. With Rowdy’s behavior over the last few hours, I trusted my sister wouldn’t struggle on her own in the way Lora had.
“Tell me I still look sexy,” Rowdy said as he strutted out of the bathroom wearing his white coverall and bouffant cap.
Maria and I applauded as he spun around with his arms out. I loved how Rowdy moved through life. Even as a teenage boy, when so many guys were gawky or overcompensated, Rowdy Reed had simply glided through every situation.
Rowdy remained cool and calm through the surgery.
After the anesthesiologist gave me something to help with my anxiety, I became super chill.
My gaze flashed between my sister seated next to my strapped-down arm and Rowdy sitting next to my head.
With them both smiling, I felt peaceful for the first time in months.
In the operating room, I didn’t focus on the bright lights or the voices of the doctors and nurses. I zeroed in on Rowdy’s pale blue eyes lined with black lashes.
“I drove to Little Memphis several times,” I whispered to Rowdy, who leaned closer to hear me.
“I wanted to tell you about the babies. More than once, I tried to work up the nerve to go inside the Fire Hooch. When that didn’t work, I stayed overnight at a hotel and convinced myself to drive to your condo. But every time, I chickened out.”
“Let’s pretend you were scared of my sisters rather than me,” Rowdy said and kissed my forehead.
As I felt movement on my stomach, I continued, “One time, someone called the police because I had been circling the block around the Fire Hooch. I lied about being lost. Afterward, at the hotel, I was really freaked out. That night, I had a nightmare where I lost the babies in a store. I kept calling for Cavan and Colson. I’m not sure where I had even heard those names before, but they felt like the right ones once I woke up. ”
“I promise Cavan and Colson Reed are going to have great lives.”
Sharing his smile, I whispered, “I always planned to give them your last name since my last name only reminds me of people I don’t care about.”
Rowdy began to speak when the sound of a whimpering baby startled us both. Maria looked past the drape and smiled.
“He’s a good size,” Maria told me while I started breathing faster.
When I gnawed at my bottom lip, Rowdy kissed me. He left soft kisses across my forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin.
“Don’t worry. It’s almost over,” he whispered and held my gaze. “Are you excited to hold our boys?”
Rowdy’s voice centered me while Maria stroked the palm of my hand. I could hear the baby whining as the nurses cleaned him up.
“Is that Cavan or Colson?” Rowdy asked me.
“Cavan. I decided they’d be in alphabetical order.”
Rowdy nuzzled my cheek. “You’re so smart.”
I was relieved to have Rowdy here for the delivery. I had never wanted him to miss out on this moment but was too afraid of his reaction. If I had any idea Rowdy would be this excited, I could have saved us so much drama.
The angry howl of my second boy was music to my ears. Rowdy watched where they took his son. Chuckling, he shook his head.
“Colson is pissed,” Rowdy said, making me laugh.
As Maria watched the nurses like a hawk, I appreciated my sister’s ability to focus when I couldn’t. She kept track of the boys and ensured the doctor didn’t make a mistake and give me a tubal ligation.
The medication made me feel like every time I blinked, a large chunk of time had passed. I saw glimpses of my boys wrapped in blankets and wearing caps on their heads. I wanted to hold them, yet months of fatigue hit me all at once.
I woke up when they moved me to the hospital bed in my room. Maria immediately tucked the blanket around me.
“Where are the babies?”
“They’re with Rowdy,” she said and gestured across the room where the sexy biker made a video.
“This is Cavan,” Rowdy explained in the video. “He’s super chill. Probably going to be devious. We ought to keep an eye on him. This one is Colson. He’s easily pissed off. We’ll need to watch him, too. My boys are natural outlaws.”
Rowdy noticed us watching him and smiled. “I’m sending this to my mom. I also need to send pictures to my people back in Little Memphis as proof that I’m not shooting blanks.”
Maria and I laughed at his bragging. The nurse finished prepping everything in the room and left us alone.
“Cuddle with me,” I told Maria like I did when we were kids.
She climbed into bed and rested next to me. Rowdy took a picture of us and smiled.
“Do you want to hold them?” he asked. “Or do you need a nap?”
“I’ll nap later,” I said, trying to scoot myself higher in bed.
Rowdy picked up Colson and brought him to me. “He looks just like you.”
Once I held Colson, Rowdy brought Cavan to Maria. “He also looks just like you.”
We shared a chuckle while admiring the identical babies. Up until this moment, I’d remained detached from this new reality. Exhaling softly, I smiled at my future.
The boys weren’t tiny, both weighing a healthy seven pounds. Maria and I had been small at birth. Lora hadn’t had anyone to take care of her like Maria cared for me. My sister had worked hard to make sure I arrived at this joyful moment with my new family.
I met Rowdy’s gaze and smiled wider. His icy blue eyes glowed with pride and affection. I felt him thinking about how our future would forever be intertwined.