ROWDY
By late afternoon, I was alone with Kat and our sons.
I helped her move to a small table, where we would enjoy a quiet dinner together.
She wore a pale-yellow nightgown rather than a hospital gown.
Her golden hair was loosely tied back. Even without makeup and looking exhausted, Kat was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.
Despite rarely eating pot pies, I ordered the same meal as Kat to help me understand what she enjoyed.
Sipping the brown sugar boba milk, I said, “It’s good.”
Kat’s greedy gaze could hardly peel away from the chicken pot pie long enough to look at me. She moaned approvingly when she took a bite.
“Maria and I make them about once a week,” Kat said as she glanced at Colson’s crib when he made a noise.
I checked on the boys to find Colson fussing in his sleep while Cavan was so still that I leaned down to ensure he was breathing.
Returning to the table, I smiled. “I can’t believe I have two kids.”
“You’ve had a lot to deal with in such a short time. I’ve been impressed with how well you’ve dealt with the stress.”
“Let me ask you something, and I won’t judge your answer,” I said, and Kat froze.
“Maria said something about your C-section being scheduled before your due date. I was never great at math, and I don’t get the forty weeks thing, so dumb it down for me.
Did you know you were pregnant when you were last with me? ”
Kat stared at me before exhaling uneasily and glancing at the babies.
“I knew the last time. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of your reaction.”
“Did you think I’d be angry?”
“Maybe. But I also worried you might turn cold. Or maybe you’d pretend to be supportive until I gave birth and then take them away from me.”
Considering her words, I asked, “Why would you want a man capable of being such a dickhead?”
“I can’t explain why I’ve always been drawn to you,” Kat said, seeming younger suddenly.
“I’ve always known we were too different, especially back in high school.
But I never felt the same attraction to any other men.
That’s why I came to the Fire Hooch. I believed if I saw you again, I could put my infatuation behind me.
Except you were sexier than I remembered, and my crush only got worse. ”
Considering Kat’s words, I imagined the life she had lived.
Bebe said more than once how people had let down Kat and Maria.
I noticed how women in the nearby rooms often had friends and family visit.
The twins had worked and lived in the same place for years, but there were no friends arriving to celebrate Kat’s delivery.
“If you liked me in high school,” I said after a moment, “why did you keep running away from me?”
“You laughed at me when I asked you to the dance.”
“Of course, I did,” I said like she was being dumb. “A guy named Rowdy doesn’t go to a school dance.”
Kat’s lips jutted out in a pout, making me want to kiss her. “Well, you didn’t need to laugh at me.”
Despite grinning at how she remained pissed about something from over a decade ago, I refused to back down. “I didn’t laugh at you. I just laughed. You shouldn’t have gotten so fussy about it. We could have had fun back then.”
“I would have felt even worse when we moved away.”
“We could have stayed in touch.”
Kat shook her head. “You act like it’s so obvious, but we were teenagers.”
“I sported a huge boner for you and zero boner for your identical sister. That’s how I knew you were special.”
“Maria was hotter in high school,” Kat said and self-consciously touched her stomach. “And she’s hotter right now. I don’t get why you can’t see that?”
I took a bite of the pot pie and allowed myself to consider how to respond. My first impulse was to tell Kat that her curves made her sexy. But I doubted that would break through her hangups.
“My dad’s a great guy,” I said, making Kat frown.
“But he wasn’t a guy any woman would want to marry.
I bet a lot of people thought my mom only settled for the rude asshole because she was a struggling, single mom.
But Bebe gave Pax a real chance. More than one, because there was magic between them.
No other woman could have convinced him to settle down.
No other man could have made her forgive so many fuckups.
They were willing to risk everything because they were special together. ”
Kat smiled at my words, but she clearly didn’t get it. She hadn’t grown up observing magic. Pax and Bebe hadn’t, either. Being together felt right while not making sense. I was sure they struggled.
But I saw tons of relationships with the same kind of magic. My friends and family hadn’t understood why I kept thinking about a chick that ghosted me. I looked like a fucking chump. But in my heart, I knew Kat would return to me. Now that she had, I planned to keep her.
But to Kat, I was spewing crazy talk.
“I’m glad we’re going on our first date now when you can’t ride my dick for a while,” I said, making her frown again. “I feel like otherwise you’d skip the small talk and focus on seducing me into bed.”
“Wait, you think I did the seducing?”
Smirking, I reminded her, “You knew who I was. You already admitted you came to the clubhouse to ride my dick.”
“No, I came to prove to myself that you weren’t worth obsessing over.”
Wiggling my eyebrows at her, I asked, “And how did that work out for you?”
A grinning Kat lowered her head and shrugged. “Well, I’ve admitted you’re addictive. I don’t think we need to harp on that.”
“No, I insist we harp on it,” I said, enjoying her sheepish expression. “What do you love most about my hot body?”
“Your dick,” she whispered and glanced at the boys as if they might overhear. “It’s purely sexual.”
“Oh, don’t do that,” I said and wagged a finger at her. “I sense you extend your claws whenever you believe someone’s a threat. Like in high school, when you called me a beast. That was hurtful.”
“Was it really?”
“I thought you meant ‘beast’ like I smelled or something.”
Narrowing her gaze, Kat didn’t buy my bullshit. “You knew you didn’t stink.”
“How would I know what you meant? You ran away,” I said and sighed deeply. “You always run away, Katarina Darville. That’s why I knocked you up with twins. I knew they'd slow you down long enough for me to catch you.”
A perfect smile warmed her face. “It was all part of your plan, huh?”
“Totally. That’s why I’ve been so chill about it.”
Kat studied me, seeming sad. “In my head, I’ve told you a million times about the boys.
I saw you reacting with surprise. Other times, you were chill like you are now.
But there were times when I was sure you’d be angry.
Or dismissive. I just couldn’t trust you were the way I saw you.
After all, I’ve been infatuated by you for a decade.
It made sense that I wasn’t seeing you clearly. ”
“And if I got angry, you thought I’d steal the boys.”
Kat’s gaze flashed with concern. “Maybe.”
“Is this date your way to appease a crazy guy?”
“No, I also wanted a free meal,” Kat said, making me snicker.
“I could love you,” I said, and her smile faded. “Is that something you’d want? No, I guess the real question is if you’d ever be able to trust my love? Or will I always be the scary guy with the dangerous family?”
Kat’s expression was a mix of longing and fear. “I don’t know.”
“Because no one except Maria has ever really loved you?”
Kat leaned back and sighed. “Our mom loved us. She wrote in her diary how we were her life. There were times when she wanted to run away from our father and start over. She even considered returning to Estonia, but she knew those choices would be wrong for Maria and me.”
“She sacrificed for you. Maria does, too. That’s what you need from me, isn’t it?” I said and dug a large bite of pot pie out of the container. “I can do that.”
“You’ve already proven yourself.”
“Then, why do you still seem nervous?”
“Because this is a date, and I want you to like me at the end of it.”
“I messaged you for months, even after you ghosted me. That was some humiliating shit, but I did it because I liked you so much.”
“But things have changed. You know I lied to you and kept secrets. I’m not the sexy, fun woman from the clubhouse. I’m a blotchy, flabby mom of two.”
“Am I going to claim you’re at your sexiest right now?
No, but you do win sexy points for giving birth to my boys yesterday.
Plus, I don’t always look this great. I get crazy bed head.
I regularly eat risky foods and puke,” I said, making a gloomy Kat grin.
“And I take after my dad in a lot of ways. You saw how flat his ass looks now that he’s a middle-aged man.
That’ll be my ass one day. Knowing all that, do you still want a piece of this? ” I asked and gestured at my body.
“I will miss your ass once it’s gone, but I think that magic idea means you’ll always be the sexiest guy to me. I can’t see anyone else.”
“The magic goes both ways,” I reminded her. “That’s why I was never interested in Maria. It’s always been you.”
Kat watched me in a weird way as if she were recalling everything I’d ever said to her. I saw the memories playing out across her beautiful face. While I ate my pot pie and drank the boba, Kat caught up to the fact that I wasn’t going anywhere.