Chapter 9
I haven’t managed to get anything productive done this morning, all thanks to a night of tossing and turning, unable to get any decent sleep because even when I did manage to drift off, I dreamt of Memphis.
I’ve never thought of the grown-up adult version of him; he’s been eighteen in my head for the last seven years.
And it kills me to see he’s turned into my fantasy boy.
How did he discover he was a little? I never picked up on that side of him when was living here.
I storm into the gym and see Saint at one of the running machines, talking to another member, and head straight for him. “I need to talk to you,” I hiss through clenched teeth.
He must see the grim expression that’s been fixed on my face since I woke up. “Gimme a sec.” I stomp to the office because what I need to say doesn’t need to be heard by anyone else.
I grab a bottle of water from the small fridge Knox keeps in here and swallow half of it before Saint comes in and closes the door.
I wipe the back of my hand over my mouth. “Memphis is back.”
I watch as his eyes go wide, and he swallows hard. “What? Where?”
“Bound.”
“What the fuck was he doing there?” He runs his hands through his dark hair before locking his fingers together behind his head.
I close my eyes and the image of him last night is there. The cute pale blue shorts and matching T-shirt that had a teddy bear printed on the front. “He was at the party last night. The Daddies night.”
“He’s a Daddy?” he asks in disbelief as his eyebrows rise.
“No, he’s a boy.” I groan. A fucking gorgeous, perfect, fucking boy. I keep that titbit to myself.
Saint looks like he’s going to say something, then pauses. “Yeah, okay. I can believe that.”
I look at him as if he’s crazy. “How the hell can you say that?”
“Don’t you remember the blanket he had? He wouldn’t let anyone near it and always had it nearby. He’d sit with it when we watched films. Don’t you remember he would let the hem run through his fingers.”
Shit! I remember now. I think he would suck his thumb if he thought no one was looking. God, I bet he looks cute doing that now. I imagine him sitting on my lap with his blankie and his thumb in his mouth. My dick twitches until I remember I’m pissed off with him.
Saint smirks at me. “Oh, I see it now. You want him, and that’s fucking with you.”
“Don’t be a prick. I’m angry because of what he did to Pops. What do you think we should do? Should we tell the others?”
“Tell the others what?” Drake and Knox walk in.
“Hey, did you have a good night? Why are you looking like that? Did you find a boy! That’s awesome.” Drake holds out his fist, but I gently knock it away.
“I think he has, but it’s complicated,” Saint tells them as I growl at him.
“I have not found my boy.”
“Then tell us,” Knox says.
I look at Saint, who just shrugs. “Memphis is back.”
“And he’s a gorgeous boy,” Saint chips in, still looking smug as shit. I don’t get he’s not more bothered about the news. Does he think it’s okay for Memphis to waltz back into our lives and our club.
“Ohhh!” my brothers say in unison.
“Did you fuck him last night?” Drake grins like this is the most salacious gossip he’s heard.
“Of course, I didn’t fuck him. I ignored him. Then, as I was leaving, he was at his car, and I told him to stay the hell away from us. I can’t believe you don’t seem to give a shit he’s back here after what he did.”
Knox shrugs, Drake looks at Saint, who gives me a sad smile.
“Maybe, because it was seven years ago. He was eighteen, and yes, he acted like a dick, but he must have had his reasons. I doubt our dads are bothered anymore. If they are, then that’s their concern and issue to sort out.
Maybe Memphis has come back to apologise and explain why.
Maybe he’s just here on business and wanted to let off some steam at Bound.
There are plenty of reasons why he’s come back.
If you want to know what they are, you have to ask him. ”
Drake is fiddling with his phone, then holds out a google page to show me. “I remember seeing this in the paper. His father died recently. Maybe that was why he’s back.”
“He hated his father; he’s the bastard that threw him out when he was only fucking fifteen!” I snap, my temper fraying rapidly.
“All the more reason to come back. Hell, I’d happily dance on my sperm donor’s grave if I knew he’d died,” Knox says, and maybe he’s right. Memphis had hated his father; getting some closure would be a good thing for him.
“Look, Royal. You can feel anger towards him. After all, you were the one that brought him into our family. I get that his leaving was a hard thing for you to take. I think you should tell our dads that you’ve seen him.
They can work out how they feel about it.
You can ignore Memphis if you see him again, especially in Bound.
There are plenty of boys eager to play with you.
” Saint looks as if that’s the end of the issue for him.
“I’m not into the same things he is. I doubt I’ll see him. I’ve got a new job starting in a week.” Drake shrugs again.
“I doubt he’ll come here,” Knox says. “I’m sorry he’s upset you, Royal. I think you should talk to him, get the closure you need.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll think about what you’ve all said. I’m going to go see Dad and Pops.” I get pats on my shoulder as I leave.
As I drive to the house, some of my anger dissipates.
My brothers have made valid points, ones I hadn’t considered.
Yes, I feel hurt because ten years ago I helped him.
He was important to me. The question now spinning in my head, was what I was going to do about him now.
He really is the total package for me, everything I want in a little.
His blond, shaggy hair frames a heart-shaped face with high cheekbones and full lips.
His grey eyes are surrounded by thick lashes.
I want him to look up through them at me while he begs for my cock.
I’m not sure what he was into; I was too busy with Alfie. When we’d finished, Memphis and Andrew had gone. A wave of jealous fury rolls through me. Shit, this is not good for me.
I pull up onto the drive and see both cars are here, which is good. I never thought about them being home or not. Since they stopped fostering, they’ve taken plenty of holidays and weekends away. The front door opens before I open my door, and Pops smiles at me.
As I reach the front door, he opens his arms for a hug. “Royal, this is a nice surprise.”
I follow him in, and we head straight for the kitchen. There’s always a cup of tea and something to eat being made. I’m not wrong and can smell freshly made cake.
I give my dad a hug too. “What’s up with you? You look constipated,” he says, making me crack a smile.
“Thanks, but no, I’m not constipated. But I do have something to tell you.”
Pops puts a cup of tea and a slice of what looks like his amazing lemon cake in front of me. “Are you ill? Has something happened?”
“No, I’m not ill, but something has happened. Memphis is back. I saw him last night.”
“Is he okay? Does he look all right?” Pops asks, concern written all over his face. “Where did you see him? Did you speak to him?”
“Robin, slow down. Let the boy speak.” Dad puts his arm around Pops’ shoulders.
I roll my eyes. “I’m thirty-two, Dad. I’m not a boy anymore. I saw him in Bound last night. And yes, he looks well. I didn’t talk to him much.”
“What was he doing there?” he asks.
I give him a pointed look, an eyebrow cocked. “Really, Dad, you’re asking that question? What do you think he was doing there? And why aren’t you angry with him? I am.”
It’s my other father who answers me. “Why should we be angry with him? He left without any animosity between us. I was disappointed when he never contacted us again, but he was eighteen, legally an adult. It didn’t stop me worrying, but what could I do?”
“Why are you angry with him?” Dad asks.
“Because he walked away after we gave him everything. Like he didn’t give a shit. Then just shows up at the fucking club as if owns the damn place.” I can’t believe no one is bothered.
“He’s a Dom? I never would have thought that. He always behaved like he was a boy.”
“Jesus, am I the only person that never thought that?” I was already in the lifestyle when I found him, and I didn’t get any vibes off him.
“Because you became his protector. In your head, he was always a scared fifteen-year-old. Maybe you feel so hurt because he didn’t say goodbye to you?
” Pops pats the back of my hand. “And maybe now you’ve seen him as an adult and in an environment that you love, your brain is trying to catch up with it all. ”
I cover my face with my hands and take a moment. When I lift my head back up, my parents are watching me, both with the same knowing look. “I hate that he’s perfect. That he’s what I’ve been looking for, waiting for.”
“I know. I think he knew it when he was eighteen, and that is why he left. So, he could grow up and be seen by you again. He was in love with you, Royal, and you never knew.”
Fuck my life!