Chapter 12
Waiting in Knox’s office while Royal showers feels like I’m waiting for the headmaster to decide my punishment. I jump when the door opens, and he comes back in dressed in a pair of black jeans and T-shirt.
“Thanks for waiting, Memphis. Are you ready for some food?”
All the magnetic energy from earlier has gone, and the barrier I saw around him at Bound is back again.
My stomach drops as I wonder if this is worth it.
I’m obviously going to have to strip everything I’ve kept locked inside me open, baring my deepest thoughts.
Is he going to give anything back to me?
“I don’t know. Is this going to be an inquisition, something that lets you decide whether I’m worthy of you, of being your boy.
Because I don’t have to justify every action I’ve taken for the last seven years. ”
“Is that what you think is going to happen? I thought we were going to dinner and to talk, to get to know each other again. There are things I want to know, to understand… But fuck, Memphis, I can’t get you out of my head.”
We stay staring at each other for a few long seconds, until I nod. “Okay then, I like Italian.”
“Me too.” He steps up to the door and opens it for me. Okay, no hand holding, either. It’s going to be hard work getting anything from him. I need to be open and honest with him, to show him I’m serious about this, about making us an us. A couple. A Daddy and his boy.
“I know, I remember. I remember a lot about you, Royal. You’ve always been in my mind,” I tell him softly. He pauses, and there’s pain rather anger in his eyes.
“Then why did you leave me, us? You walked away from the whole family. And it hurt.”
“I’ll tell you, Royal. I promise I’ll tell you why.
Although, it shouldn’t be too difficult for you to work out.
” I hope he’s not going to play the no clue card, because he must have known how interested in him I was.
Robin saw it and even warned me to be careful.
Stupidly, I thought Royal would just get it and swoop me up and claim me.
We head out of the gym to the car park. “Do you have your car here,” Royal asks me.
I nod and point to the dark blue BMW. “I can follow you, or it can stay here. I’ll collect it later.”
“This way then.” He walks towards the muscle car that out of all the cars parked here, I would’ve guessed was his. “Why are you smiling?”
“I knew that would be your car. It suits you.”
“Thank you. I love it.” He opens the passenger door for me. As I bend to climb in, his fingers sweep over my nape. I look over my shoulder at him, and he’s staring. “What’s wrong?”
He smiles. “I’ll tell you when we’re in the car.”
I slide into the leather seat and inhale, taking the scent of leather polish and Royal deep into my lungs. I can smell his cologne, his deodorant, the rich, manly aroma of him. I want to wrap it around me until I get the chance to explore his body and breathe him in.
The engine roars to life, the vibrations rumbling through the floor and seats as Royal revs it. A boyish grin spreads over his face, like he’s doing something naughty. “You’re still a big kid.”
“I think that’s you, little one.”
It’s my turn to smile now. “Good point. Now what was going on with my neck. Not that I object to you touching me.”
“Your tattoo. I saw it at the club before the night of the party; I didn’t see your face. You had shorts that had boy over your delectable arse. I was intrigued. it’s beautiful. What’s the story behind it?”
I blushed, then sighed. “Again, it’s all about you.”
“How d’you work that out?”
“It’s got the coordinates of the gym under it—from where you found me. It’s to remind me that I can find my way home. That you’re here.”
“Christ, Memphis. You’re killing me.” He shakes his head as if to clear his mind. “Why didn’t you just come home?”
“I couldn’t. I wanted to, believe me I wanted to, but I had to be sure that I would be taken seriously. You can’t say that you wouldn’t have turned me down. Calling me a brother.”
Royal doesn’t reply. Instead, he worries the corner of his bottom lip. The frown marring his forehead means he’s thinking too much. We stay silent until he parks across the road from the restaurant.
He waits for me to stand next to him, and this time, he takes hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze. We have to wait for a couple of cars before we quickly cross the road. “Is this place okay for you? I’ve eaten here a few times; the food is good.”
I nod. “Sure. As long as it’s got pasta, I’m good.”
“I promise you it has that.”
It’s not until we get our drinks that Royal draws in a deep breath and looks at me. “Why did you cut us out of your life? I can understand you wanted to leave home, but to never contact us again hurt me so much.” He sips at his drink. “Was it something I did?”
“I wanted to go to university, that wasn’t a secret. But I’d discovered something about myself that I needed to explore. And while it wasn’t your fault, you were the catalyst.”
Before I can continue, Royal lets out a disgruntled sigh. “I knew you’d turn this onto me.”
I stare at him as he huffs his disapproval. “If you will let me finish, you’ll find out how this is not your fault. You were a part of the reason, not the whole reason. It’s not all about you, so get over yourself.”
“I’m sorry, Memphis, this isn’t going to work.” He picks up his drink and gulps it down. He pushes his chair out to stand up, but I grab his wrist before he can.
“Sit down, Royal.” I’m not letting him leave without clearing it all up. “You wanted to know, so let me tell you.”
“You infuriate me.” He sighs, but he drops back down. “I want to spank your arse so hard.”
I snort as the waiter approaches at that exact moment, turns bright red, spins on his heels, and retreats. All the tension between us evaporates as we both burst out laughing.
“Maybe if we get through dinner, I’ll let you.
” I wink as Royal shakes his head. “Can I carry on?” I don’t bother waiting for his reply and get back to my tale.
“Anyway, I overheard a conversation you were having with Saint. You were talking about how you’d found your thing, that you’d spent the evening with a boy, a sub that wanted you to treat nicely.
That you wanted to care for and treasure rather than dominate or inflict pain for pleasure.
I’d only just worked out that I was a sub—I knew then that I wanted you to be my daddy.
That I was in love with you, but I knew you didn’t see me the same way. I was just Memphis, your kid brother.”
The waiter returns, and from the shell-shocked look on Royal’s face, he needs a moment to process what I’ve said. I give my order and wait for Royal to do the same.
“I’ll have a bottle of the Montepulciano too,” he adds. I give him a quizzical look since we’d brought his car. “No, sorry, cancel that, another Coke please.”
I trace my fingertips over the knuckles of his clenched fist. “I’m sorry.
I really am. I knew I had to stay away long enough for you to see me with fresh eyes.
That I wasn’t a kid you helped years ago.
I kept an eye on you. I watched what was going on here and saw the notification of my dad dying and used that as an excuse to come back.
I was ready to come home, to see you again.
I understood the relationship and dynamic of a Daddy and a boy.
I’d played at clubs and found a man to be with, but I could never love him. However much I tried, I couldn’t.”
“Where did you go?”
“Lincoln. I went to university there. I met a guy called Finn on my first day. We’ve been best friends ever since. We now run a business together.”
“So, are you just visiting or do you plan to work from here?”
“No, I’m staying here. I’ve looked at a few flats, but none are what I want. I’m not running away; I’m here for good. Even if you don’t want me, or we’re not compatible, I’m back.”