Chapter 24
The things I make him feel? Jesus, does he have any idea how the whole knowledge of who I am has been shattered since we’ve met again?
I know I wasn’t happy with Simon. I know he had begun to change the way we played.
I know my reaction to Royal is different for him as much as it is for me.
I’ve seen him in his Daddy role at the club; he’s hot as hell, so why have I stopped being a little?
“Memphis?” Royal says my name, breaking my thoughts. Did he say something else to me? He’s leaning over me, my legs dropped down on the bed. His gaze his warm, but he looks concerned. What did I miss?
“What? Sorry, I kinda spaced out a bit there.” No shit! I need to focus, concentrate on getting this over with.
He presses his mouth to mine in a short but possessive kiss. “Yeah, it looked like it.” He kisses me again, then tilts his hips, allowing his cock to slip free. I sigh at the loss, but he kisses me again, and all thoughts disappear.
“We’re all sticky; we should clean up. Fancy a shower?” He winks. “I can help scrub the tricky spots.”
“Lead the way.”
The tender way Royal looks after me in the shower is proof of his caring Daddy side.
The soft hands, the tender words about being a good boy has me glowing with pride.
Is this the way he can fulfil the needing to be cared for inside me?
The way he’ll still feel like my Daddy? He dries me in the same gentle way, dropping kisses on my shoulders as he wipes the water away, humming as he dries my legs and feet.
Although there is a devilish look in his eyes as he kneels in front of my cock and balls, drying them more slowly than any other part of my body.
His chuckle as the blood flow increases in my dick, making it swell, pulsing as it grows. “Well, lookie here,” he grins, but stands up with a sharp swat on my bum. “Get into bed.”
I walk slowly, my back to him. I know that the slap was hard enough to leave a handprint and that he will love seeing it there. By the time I slide the covers down, Royal has tidied up the bathroom, with the towels over the heated rails.
“Come here.” He opens his arm for me to snuggle into. I slide across, more than happy to cuddle with him. “Are you ready to talk? If not, it doesn’t matter, we can work out our own way to enjoy the club and all that goes with it.”
I breathe in the scent of Royal’s skin and arrange my thoughts.
“Living with Kip and Robin was my first insight into a Dom/sub lifestyle. I found I could relate to Robin and his need to hand over the reins to Kip, and just…be. He would relax the way I never could. I knew what Saint was into. I’d overheard you two talking enough for me to know that wasn’t me.
But the way you talked about the caring side.
You would joke with him how opposite you were.
Saint wanted to hear the cries of pain turn to pleasure, whereas you were all about making sure your boy’s pleasure was the most important part.
I wanted that. I wanted it from you, and I knew that you would never want me the way I wanted you to.
So, when I got my A level results, I left.
“It took me a while to find my groove at the uni, but it was good. I loved the courses and found some awesome friends and dated. The guys were great, the sex was fun, but it wasn’t fulfilling me—something was lacking.
It took me a while to search for clubs that would get me what I wanted.
My research had proved to me I wanted to be little.
Not a baby, or even a toddler, but something that would clear my mind, and playing with toys helped.
I found a club and in it found my place, the safe way to play.
I had fun, met great people, including some wonderful Daddies.
Then Simon approached me. I’d seen him around; he was handsome, but a little too much.
If you get what I mean, and the other littles would all vie for his affection.
Maybe it was my lack of attention that made him pick me out. ”
“I hate him already,” Royal snaps.
I laugh. “Don’t bother. He’s not worth it. Do you want me to carry on?”
He nods and kisses the top of my head.
“So, I agreed to a scene with him. It was in a private room. He said he didn’t like an audience, and I had to admit, I’d never seen him do more than kiss and pet the boys he played with.
Inside the room was different. He wanted me naked and playing with the toys while he stroked his cock.
Then as he got close to climax, he’d stop.
His control was incredible; he could edge for hours.
As long as he could see my junk and hole, he played with himself, only coming when he wanted to leave, and then it was over my arse.
I didn’t know what all the fuss was about, but when we got to his place and he finally fucked me, it was worth waiting for. ”
Royal growls, and I chuckle. “What turned that event into a relationship?”
“I know it sounds weird when I say it like that. But it just did. It evolved into something we both loved doing. I would get to play whenever I wanted, and he got the joy of watching me. I asked him if this was the way he played with the others. He said he didn’t but didn’t explain anything more.
It grew into a proper relationship. Everyone told me I was a lucky bastard to have him, but after a while, a long while, he wanted something different.
He was losing his caring Daddy with me. Instead, he wanted to show me off; he wanted to let others watch me.
I would often have my cock locked up tight, yet on display.
The play still always took place in private rooms, but now and then he would invite other men to watch me.
It was never talked about, but the scenario was the same: I played, and he and the others would wank.
Ending with covering me with their spunk.
I started to hate it. There was no way for me to say no. ”
“Fucking hell, Memphis, that’s not the way a Daddy works. Not without it being a consensual part of your lifestyle. Let me understand this, he never did anything sexual with you in the general club room. Never fucked you there, only at home.”
“I would sit on his knee, and he’d play with the cage or the bars in my nipples, but that was it.
We never had penetrative sex without a condom.
By the time I left, I’d had enough. We weren’t anything anymore.
” I sighed, frustrated with myself for letting it go on for so long.
“He wasn’t happy with me. In fact, he was downright furious.
Mainly about what others would say, but I couldn’t do it anymore.
I wanted to be with someone who liked me, maybe even would love me.
I still wanted the love and attention of being praised, the cuddles and giggles.
I knew it would never happen with him, and I would never get a chance with anyone else while I lived there.
He wouldn’t have allowed it. Which is why tonight, I couldn’t get over what we’d done.
It was hot as hell, but I’d been trained to not have that, not even when other Daddies and their littles did. ”
“I’ve never heard anything like this. I’m so sorry, but he was no Daddy. He groomed you into being what he wanted. I don’t even think he deserves the title of Dom.”
“Thank you for saying that. I was wrong to put up with it for a couple of months, let alone a couple of years. He hardly kept me captive; I could have left at any time.”
“Why didn’t you then?” His words are soft, no accusation or disapproval, he’s curious.
“Laziness. It wasn’t full time, and I think I got used to it. I had a lot of friends at the club. I wasn’t shackled or kept kneeling. It got to the point where boundaries were getting mixed up and crossed. I didn’t want that.”
Royal shifts onto his side, his arm still around me, keeping me snuggled against his chest. “What do you want now, from me—from us? I can’t see you whizzing cars around a playmat, and I don’t want to do anything that reminds you of him.
But I like littles, Memphis, and as much as I want to spank your arse bright red, I want, heck, I need to care for and look after my boys.
Dressing them in something cute and getting cuddle time.
” He goes quiet, and I can see the cogs whirring in his brain.
“What…what are you thinking?” I have a feeling he’s going to say if I can’t give him that, then we won’t work. Didn’t he hear me telling him I wanted the cuddle time?
“About Pops, actually. When I first found you’d come back, I was angry.
Pissed at my brothers when they didn’t see a problem.
I stomped off to see Pops. He said he knew you were a little or at least had little tendencies.
He mentioned a cloth or blanket, but I don’t know what.
That you would settle with it. I don’t think I ever noticed you with it. ”
I snigger. “You didn’t notice me at all, Royal.
Not really. I was another brother. I doubt you expected me to stay as long as I did.
But to answer you, I told you I wanted the soft side.
I like sitting on your knee, and I like that you’ll be focused on me over everyone else.
I still want everything you like doing. I think my little has grown up a little. ” I laugh at that.
Royal looks me up and down, then with a wink that makes my insides go all gooey says, “I can work with that.”