Chapter 34
It’s an odd weekend. I’m spending most of it alone, thanks to Matt whisking Finn away to a cabin he’s booked.
He’s really laying the charm, proving he’s the perfect boyfriend.
He really doesn’t like me. I don’t think he believes that I’m not trying to stop Finn from getting together with him again.
I am obviously against it, but they’re both grown-ups, and it’s not up to me to control their lives.
I spend my time sorting out all the possessions I dumped in Finn’s garage, deciding which to take back with me, which to donate to the charity shops, or sell on eBay.
While the little flat I’m taking over has been furnished, I want my own things.
Robin explained the boys had used the furniture for their own first places, and they’ll take it back when my stuff comes.
Royal is acting weird today, and last night, and now he’s completely MIA, and Saint is being very vague about his whereabouts. I can’t get hold of Knox at all. Something seems to be up with all the Foster brothers.
Eventually, I cave and call Robin. I start all casual, as if I haven’t ignored him since I got back here. “Hi, Robin, how are you?”
“Memphis, how wonderful to hear from you. How are you?” he says sweetly. This man doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.
“Yeah, I’m good. Work is going well. It’s keeping me busy. Um, do you know where Royal is?”
There’s a slight pause before he answers, not too noticeable, but I’m already on edge. “Sorry, sweetie, I haven’t seen or heard from him today.”
“Yeah, Saint said the same thing. I can’t get hold of Knox either.
” There is something odd going on, for sure.
Then a thought floods my head. He’s met someone else, and no one wants to be the one to tell me.
It makes sense. I’ve hardly made it easy for him, for us, to get back together.
My heart shatters at the thought of him with another man.
Probably the perfect little who loves everything Royal wants.
I can see them in his house. Royal watching as the boy plays with the box of toys. How he’ll clamber up onto Royal’s knee and cuddle into him. They’ll go to bed, and he’ll be pliant in my lover’s hands, calling him Daddy as he spreads his legs.
I sob as my breath catches in my throat. Tears burn my eyes before they spill down my cheeks. “Okay, Robin. Sorry to have bothered you.”
Robin’s voice turns steely in a way I’ve rarely heard from him. “Memphis, whatever you’ve just thought is wrong. I’m sure he’ll be in touch.”
“Yeah, okay.” I end the call and drop my phone on my desk. The screen of my laptop has the image of a beautiful, tattooed man, so like Royal, taunts me. Fuck him! If he’s too chicken to tell me himself, I’ll do it for him.
When Royal’s phone goes straight to voicemail, I don’t stab it shut. “So, you’re too fucking scared to tell me yourself? Well, fuck you, Royal-fucking-Foster. You can go and be happy with your new toy. I don’t need you.”
I need a drink.
I’ve been wallowing since yesterday evening. I’m not expecting anyone, so I can indulge myself in a huge pity party. A drunken one too.
I wake up thanks to someone violently shaking my shoulder. It’s Finn, and he’s frowning at me. “What the fuck is going on?” He dumps his bag on the floor by the side of the sofa.
“Nothing is going on. I’m fine.” I sway as I try to sit up. “Whatcha doing back home anyway?”
“It’s Sunday evening, Memphis. Have you been lying here all weekend? And you’re not fine, you’re drunk. What the fuck has gone on in the forty-eight hours I’ve been away? All I get is some garbled message about stupid men and stupid tattoos.” He’s waving his phone at me.
I don’t remember calling him. I don’t remember calling anyone. “No idea, mate.” I push upright and get my balance and get past him. I want to lie down again.
“Memphis, look at me. What’s happened? Is it Royal?”
“That fucker can go fuck himself and the fucking perfect little twink he’s found.” I flop down onto the sofa and reach for the glass of gin and tonic. It’s hardly got any tonic in it by this stage, but I don’t care. I swig the contents down, wincing at the harsh taste of almost pure gin.
Finn snatches the glass away and sniffs it; he recoils at the strong alcohol. “Jesus, Memphis, you’re kidding me. There’s no way he’s done that. He’s mad about you. Are you sure? Why would he do that?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. He can have all the boys he wants.” I try to take my glass back, but Finn lifts it out of my reach. “Give it back.”
“No, I’m cutting you off. Time for strong coffee and some answers. Because the Royal you’ve told me all about wouldn’t do that.”
“Yeah? Then why has he ignored all my calls? His family are covering for him too.” I feel sick, and as the bile builds, I rush to the bathroom. Only just making it to the toilet before the contents of my stomach—which is mainly alcohol—rises in my throat.
It takes more than one purge. I retch until my stomach cramps and my throat burns, then collapse on the tiles.
When I open my eyes again, I’m not on the bathroom floor. I’m in my bed and only wearing my underwear. What the fuck?
“Memphis?” My name comes out as a question. It sounds like Finn, but why the hell would he be in my flat? “How do you feel?”
My eyelids flutter shut again; it’s all too bright. “Go away,” I mutter into my pillow.
“Nope. Nuh-uh. Open your eyes again.” My mattress dips as the weight of my best friend sits by me. “You’ve got some explaining to do. First, what happened to your phone?”
This makes me curious, so I open my eyes a sliver. “Whatcha mean?”
Finn holds up the shattered screen in front of me. “It looks like you threw it against the wall. Seriously, Memphis, what’s going on?”
“Did you stay in here all night? Matt’s not going to like that.
” I groan, knowing this is another bullet in the gun Matt’s going to be aiming at me.
“Royal has met someone else, but instead of telling me, he’s gone radio silent and so have his brothers and dads.
” My words come out flat, monotone since telling him makes it all the more real. “So, I got drunk.”
“Matt’s not here. You told me this last night, and I still don’t believe it. I’m going to call him and sort this shit out.”
“NO!” I shout, sitting up in bed and clutching my head. “Leave him alone, please, Finn. I can’t blame him. I’ve caused all of this. Let me have today to mope. I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I’m going to sleep the day away. Go away, or Matt will have another reason to hate me.”
He hesitates, then nods. “Okay, but shout if you need me.” Then he looks at my phone. “You need a new phone.”
“I’ll sort that tomorrow.”
I flop back down and close my eyes. I doubt I’ll get to sleep again, not after telling Finn about Royal.
The next time I open my eyes, it’s dark. I did sleep the day away. I do feel better for it. My head is clearer, but it’s my heart, instead, that hurts. It’s probably for the best my phone is dead, or I’d be calling Royal, begging him to pick me.
“What do you want to eat?” I call to Finn.
It’s Wednesday, and we’ve had a long day, both of us working flat out to reach a deadline for a new website and rebrand of a chain of sports clothing stores.
It’s nine at night, and it’s ready to go.
With one more check, Finn presses send on the file to the head of marketing.
“Pizza, it’s quick.” He smiles at me. He’s been good at staying silent about Royal and my meltdown. I know he wants to ask if I’m okay.
I pick up my new phone and order the pizza. I want to stretch my legs, so I order it to collect. “See you in a few.”
The evening is warm, and the sky is darkening into a clear black sky, the stars still not popping out yet. I get to the crossroads and wait for the traffic lights to change so I can cross. A car pulls up, screeching its brakes to stop. When I look, my heart jumps into my throat. Simon.
The passenger window slides down. “You’ve got some explaining to do, Boy. Get in the fucking car, right now.”
“You’ve gotta be joking. Fuck off,” I tell him and step back from the curb.
“This is no fucking joke. Get in before I get out and make you.” He leans over and pushes the door open. His eyes flick to look over my shoulder, then something hard hits the back of my head. As I stumble forward, I’m pushed into the car and the door slams shut, then it goes dark.
“Wake the fuck up,” is all the warning I get before a face full of icy water.
When I try to wipe my face, I can’t move.
I’m strapped to a chair, tied up and naked.
Simon is standing in front of me, another jug of water ready to throw.
For the first time, I’m truly frightened of this man.
“Why are you doing this? You don’t want me back.
You made it very clear when you said if I leave, I leave for good. ”
“You and your fuck buddy have ruined me. Everything I’ve worked so fucking hard for is gone. Everyone is talking.” He’s up in my face, his eyes bulging, spittle forming in the corner of his mouth. I can smell whisky on his breath. He hardly ever drank, but he was a whisky snob if he wanted alcohol.
“You’re mad, fucking crazy! I don’t know what you’re talking about. What fuck buddy?” Who is he talking about? I don’t have a fuck buddy. Is he talking about Finn? He knows there’s nothing there.
“The hench men that turned up last Saturday. Three tattooed goons came to threaten me to stay away from you. What kind of stupid bitch calls a kid Royal?”
What? Wait? Royal was here last Saturday?
The day I couldn’t get hold of him. It’s Wednesday now; why has he waited four days to get to me?
I shake my head, but that makes the throb of dull pain shake up a couple of hundred notches to excruciating.
Who hit me? Someone in with Simon. This was planned.
“What did you tell them about us to have them come all heavy on me? You loved our little games, Memphis, crawling around on your knees with your arse up in the air. Well, it’s time for you to do that again. I doubt he’ll want you by the time I’ve finished with you.”
He’s gone mad.